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[Guest guest]

Hi I am new to the oz community. I am not new to the devastation that my Nada

Bpd has caused in my life and many others. I am 38 and still cry like a baby

everytime I think about the mother I need in my life. I have been NS from her

for three years this time. We have had a very hot and cold relationship for

ever, I always thought I could make it better not knowing that I was dealing

with a nada with bpd. I was the bad/ black daughter and my sister was the good /

white daughter. My nada and sister have been like a tag team of bpd in full

swing.

My birthday is coming up and that is the time of year when my nada always starts

the emotional roller coaster. She calls it our birthday. This year the texts

started 9 days before my birthday. She feels intitled to see me, asking if she

could come to our home to give me a gift. I share our home with my husband that

my nada does not like. I told her " the situation is to stressful, sorry " . She

replyed have the happiest of birthdays. Her text triggered a 3 day migrain. I

thought it was over nope,she texted me again yesterday wanting to drop the gift

off in my mailbox. I didnt answer her text.

I have been disabled for five years with a back injury, I have three ruptured

discs and require major surgery. My nada has never offer to do a single thing to

help me since I got injured. My husband is my total caregiver, I would be all

alone without him. My nada has no respect for him. He was doing the grocery

shopping yesterday and ran into my nada. The gave him a smug look and kept

walking. He couldnt control himself, he ripped into her. Stating she hasent done

a darn thing to help her disabled daughter in five years the only time she calls

is once a year on my birthday and it stirs everything up. He sees me in pain all

the time over the situation. I have been crying for three days since her first

text. My husband was crying last night because he got so angry and yelled at

her. I keep thinking about my nada being in pain, Im in pain and my husband.

The reason for the most resent ns is because my nada told me I ruined her life

because I didnt have grandchildren for her. This is a very very painful subject!

We didnt have the choice, I became injured two years into our marriage and have

progressivly getten worse in the last five years. I have chronic pain that

requires pain medication and my injury is to bad to carry a child. Not to

mention I cant take care of myself. She knows all of this and still chose to

hurt me to the core. Blue