Anyone else have a klepto Nada?

[Guest guest]

So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD being

kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I haven't

really read anything about the two being correlated.

So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house because

my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their sleep. She

was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him starting the

divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally YEARS). Anyway,

even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the house, she

occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking the back

garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was my

defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with

a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite a

few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

up again, several months later.

A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I would be

punished for losing something so special and berated for being so incompetent,

irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously " find " them

somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be expected to

praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before so

we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up. I

knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy to

both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my Grandma

that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

[Guest guest]

She is gaslighting you. Gaslighting is used to make you think you are going

crazy. It is a form of abuse used to control you.

This youtube video gives a good explanation of what gaslighting is. See if it

applies to your case.

________________________________

From: clefairy_looking_for_moonstone

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Thu, July 28, 2011 10:16:15 PM

Subject: Anyone else have a klepto Nada?

Â

So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD being

kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I haven't

really read anything about the two being correlated.

So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house because

my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their sleep. She

was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him starting the

divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally YEARS). Anyway,

even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the house, she

occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking the back

garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was my

defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with

a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite a

few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

up again, several months later.

A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I would be

punished for losing something so special and berated for being so incompetent,

irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously " find " them

somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be expected to

praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before so

we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up. I

knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy to

both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my Grandma

that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

[Guest guest]

That particular behavior: taking your possessions for the purpose of shaming and

punishing you (or, in order to get some replacement object given to her) but

then bringing the stolen object back later, is pretty rare (and creative, in a

negative, creepy way) but not unique.

Over the years, there have been some similarly bizarre nada-behaviors described

here, and what they have in common is that they are passive-aggressive

behaviors. PA behavior is the indirect expression of hostility: the malicious

intent is plausibly deniable, very sneaky and covert. And like modern terrorist

attacks, very difficult to to protect yourself from, prevent, confront, or fight

against.

Here is one particularly memorable example: there was a member here whose nada

actually hid a ball of (probably nada's own) feces in the guest bathroom of her

adult daughter's home, so that nada could complain to her daughter about the

nasty smell and imply that her daughter wasn't a good housekeeper during her

visit at her daughter's home. The daughter eventually found the source of the

smell: a little dried-up, perfectly spherical ball of poo, carefully secreted

on a shelf over the doorway, used for decorative objects.

Like your nada, apparently the point of this truly bizarre act was to shame her

daughter and cause her distress for a long time.

There was another member whose nada-in-law was very hostile to her, and had free

access to her home (this member's husband was unwilling to set boundaries with

his nada and was basically a dishrag in this regard. ) The member noticed that

there would be objects missing sometimes after nada-in-law had been there, and

that sometimes the objects would be returned but not to their original place and

were damaged in some small way, and other objects went missing entirely.

In earlier years, I remember reading threads here (from more than one poster)

about their nada who would serve foods that the poster was highly allergic to,

and when confronted, the nada would say merely, " Oops. Sorry, I forgot. " This

is a highly dangerous form of passive-aggressive behavior; its possible to die

from severe anaphylactic shock.

So, yes: passive-aggressive behaviors seem to be not uncommon amongst nadas, but

my own opinion is that the nadas who engage in PA behaviors probably have a lot

of narcissistic pd traits and possibly even antisocial pd traits, because (a)

they feel that narcissistic sense of entitlement to " get back " at someone whom

they feel has disrespected them, thwarted them, outshone them, or otherwise

given them narcissistic injury, and ( they feel that normal laws do not apply

to them. Such a person feels justified in stealing your belongings,

vandalizing your property, or making you sick, and so what if its illegal or

immoral; to their way of thinking, you deserve it!

-Annie

>

> So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD

being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I

haven't really read anything about the two being correlated.

>

> So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house because

my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their sleep. She

was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him starting the

divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally YEARS). Anyway,

even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the house, she

occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking the back

garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

>

> Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

> The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

>

> When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was my

defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with

a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite a

few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

up again, several months later.

> A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I would

be punished for losing something so special and berated for being so

incompetent, irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously

" find " them somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be

expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

> I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before

so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up. I

knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy to

both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my Grandma

that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

>

> What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm. I think I'd buy a padlock for the garage door...

Who knows why they do the wacky stuff they do? A bid for attention? Creating

" chaos " to provide some stimulation for themselves? Whatever it is, stealing

items for work (your dad's bag) means that he might not be able to practice

whatever his profession is. So I think it's serious enough (and probably has

been for years) to invest in some good locks, and maybe a video camera system.

If you could catch her, it might provide enough evidence to keep her out of the

house, and maybe even force her to accept psychiatric treatment. This isn't

even close to being OK. If she's that crazy, you need to keep her out of your

home.

>

> So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD

being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I

haven't really read anything about the two being correlated.

>

> So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house because

my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their sleep. She

was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him starting the

divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally YEARS). Anyway,

even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the house, she

occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking the back

garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

>

> Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

> The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

>

> When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was my

defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with

a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite a

few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

up again, several months later.

> A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I would

be punished for losing something so special and berated for being so

incompetent, irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously

" find " them somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be

expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

> I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before

so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up. I

knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy to

both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my Grandma

that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

>

> What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

>

[Guest guest]

This sounds to me like she's taking the objects to disrupt your

lives and to cause distress rather than because she actually

wants them. Maybe she gives them back in an attempt to make you

think your crazy or so she can point to them being found again

as proof that she didn't steal them.

My nada has always felt free to take what she wants from family

members, but it has always been because she wanted to " borrow "

the items for herself. When I was growing up, she used to creep

into my bedroom and take things, mainly library books, while I

slept. Her lack of separation between " mine " and " yours " is one

reason I simply don't let her into my apartment if I can

possibly avoid it.

At 01:16 AM 07/29/2011 clefairy_looking_for_moonstone wrote:

>So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people

>with NPD/BPD being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird

>stuff, but surprisingly, I haven't really read anything about

>the two being correlated.

>

>So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of

>our house because my dad was afraid she was going to kill him

>or my brother in their sleep. She was starting to do REALLY

>wacky things in retaliation for him starting the divorce

>process (which she had been asking him for for literally

>YEARS). Anyway, even though the restraining order forbids her

>from entering the house, she occasionally does because she

>knows of our bad habit of not locking the back garage door, and

>we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

>house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

>

>Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years

>he's had one) mysteriously disappeared along with his phone

>charger and our pedal wrench (my family's really into cycling).

>So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

>The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened

>all the time.

>

>When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I

>now know was my defense mechanism of dissociating from the

>crazy situation); I lost a lot of things. I still lose things

>occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with a little

>more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I

>was like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't

>responsible for quite a few of those incidents, particularly

>when those things would mysteriously show up again, several

>months later.

>A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite

>dresses and I would be punished for losing something so special

>and berated for being so incompetent, irresponsible and in

>la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously " find " them

>somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd

>be expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much

>we loved her.

>I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the

>night before so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold,

>I'd get to school and I'd be missing my lunch or a folder or

>something and Nada would have to drive it up. I knew early on

>that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

>keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room

>(which I kept messy to both infuriate her and hide things from

>her!).

>She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a

>year before giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby

>blankets and told my Grandma that I'd lost it and only when she

>made me a new one did the other one mysteriously return. I'm

>not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm willing to

>guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

>

>What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these

>things and then return them? I mean, I understand taking them

>if she liked to cause us pain or give us something to feel

>shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't deserve

>these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And

>now, she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of

>before?

>

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Well, when I was placed (mistakenly) in a treatment program for borderlines,

I would say about 70 percent of them were kleptomaniacs.

On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 1:16 AM, clefairy_looking_for_moonstone <

clefairy_looking_for_moonstone@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD

> being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I

> haven't really read anything about the two being correlated.

>

> So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house

> because my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their

> sleep. She was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him

> starting the divorce process (which she had been asking him for for

> literally YEARS). Anyway, even though the restraining order forbids her from

> entering the house, she occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit

> of not locking the back garage door, and we know she does because she takes

> things of ours from the house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

>

> Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

> mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench

> (my family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously

> reappeared!!!

> The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

>

> When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was

> my defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot

> of things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded

> moments with a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere

> near what I was like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't

> responsible for quite a few of those incidents, particularly when those

> things would mysteriously show up again, several months later.

> A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I

> would be punished for losing something so special and berated for being so

> incompetent, irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would

> miraculously " find " them somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep

> them and we'd be expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much

> we loved her.

> I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night

> before so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school

> and I'd be missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to

> drive it up. I knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually

> resorted to keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which

> I kept messy to both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

> giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my

> Grandma that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other

> one mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers

> but I'm willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them

> too.

>

> What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and

> then return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us

> pain or give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like

> we didn't deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for

> her? And now, she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. This is insane. I never even imagined the depth of this. Her nuttiness and

manipulation never ceases to amaze me.

Thank you all so much for the excellent information. I was able to have a long

talk with Dad about Nada's klepto behavior today and I feel like I'm actually

processing it.

Reading about it more, I guess kleptomania is commonly comorbid with the

dramatic cluster of personality disorders or substance abuse, but this isn't

really kleptomania as she isn't taking things just because she wants to steal,

she takes things to exact punishment and manipulate.

>

> She is gaslighting you. Gaslighting is used to make you think you are going

> crazy. It is a form of abuse used to control you.

>

> This youtube video gives a good explanation of what gaslighting is. See if

it

> applies to your case.

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: clefairy_looking_for_moonstone

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Sent: Thu, July 28, 2011 10:16:15 PM

> Subject: Anyone else have a klepto Nada?

>

> Â

> So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD

being

> kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I haven't

> really read anything about the two being correlated.

>

> So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house because

> my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their sleep. She

> was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him starting the

> divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally YEARS).

Anyway,

> even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the house, she

> occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking the back

> garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from the

> house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

>

> Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

> mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

> family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously

reappeared!!!

> The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

>

> When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was my

> defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

> things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments

with

> a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

> like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite

a

> few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

> up again, several months later.

> A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I would

be

> punished for losing something so special and berated for being so incompetent,

> irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously " find " them

> somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be expected to

> praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

> I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before

so

> we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

> missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up.

I

> knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

> keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy

to

> both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

> giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my

Grandma

> that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

> mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

> willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

>

> What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

> return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

> give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

> deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

> she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've talked to my Dad about securing the house more. He doesn't feel like it's

that big of a deal because he can just ignore her craziness.

There is a restraining order in place and she is legally not allowed to be

there. I live an hour and a half away up at school and she's not even allowed to

go on the campus as I put a restraining order in place this summer.

The trouble is proving that she's been there and is violating those orders is

often more difficult and problematic than the actual issues she creates.

> >

> > So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with NPD/BPD

being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but surprisingly, I

haven't really read anything about the two being correlated.

> >

> > So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house

because my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their

sleep. She was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him

starting the divorce process (which she had been asking him for for literally

YEARS). Anyway, even though the restraining order forbids her from entering the

house, she occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit of not locking

the back garage door, and we know she does because she takes things of ours from

the house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

> >

> > Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had one)

mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal wrench (my

family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all mysteriously reappeared!!!

> > The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the time.

> >

> > When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know was

my defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a lot of

things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded moments with

a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere near what I was

like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't responsible for quite a

few of those incidents, particularly when those things would mysteriously show

up again, several months later.

> > A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I

would be punished for losing something so special and berated for being so

incompetent, irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would miraculously

" find " them somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep them and we'd be

expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much we loved her.

> > I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night before

so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school and I'd be

missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to drive it up. I

knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually resorted to

keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which I kept messy to

both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> > She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year before

giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told my Grandma

that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the other one

mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from Brothers but I'm

willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did it to them too.

> >

> > What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and then

return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us pain or

give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like we didn't

deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for her? And now,

she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes my nada did that stuff. My ex mother in law did too. She embroidered

this thing for the wedding. i had trouble displaying it and she grabbed it

and hid it. Then a few months after the wedding she gave it to my exhusband

and instructed him to display it in our house. I told him to give it hte EFF

back my helll, not having the right tools to display something do not call

for that type of shit!!!! Of course he refused to give it back and we split

up 8.5 years ago. Ha dish rag

On Sun, Jul 31, 2011 at 1:54 AM, clefairy_looking_for_moonstone <

clefairy_looking_for_moonstone@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I've talked to my Dad about securing the house more. He doesn't feel like

> it's that big of a deal because he can just ignore her craziness.

> There is a restraining order in place and she is legally not allowed to be

> there. I live an hour and a half away up at school and she's not even

> allowed to go on the campus as I put a restraining order in place this

> summer.

> The trouble is proving that she's been there and is violating those orders

> is often more difficult and problematic than the actual issues she creates.

>

>

>

> > >

> > > So my question is if anyone else knows anything about people with

> NPD/BPD being kleptomaniacs? My nada's done some weird stuff, but

> surprisingly, I haven't really read anything about the two being correlated.

> > >

> > > So last November, our county sheriff escorted my nada out of our house

> because my dad was afraid she was going to kill him or my brother in their

> sleep. She was starting to do REALLY wacky things in retaliation for him

> starting the divorce process (which she had been asking him for for

> literally YEARS). Anyway, even though the restraining order forbids her from

> entering the house, she occasionally does because she knows of our bad habit

> of not locking the back garage door, and we know she does because she takes

> things of ours from the house, waits a period of time and then returns them.

> > >

> > > Dad's work bag (he's never lost one in the 20 some odd years he's had

> one) mysteriously disappeared along with his phone charger and our pedal

> wrench (my family's really into cycling). So yesterday, they all

> mysteriously reappeared!!!

> > > The funny thing though, is I'm realizing this stuff happened all the

> time.

> > >

> > > When I was a little kid, I was a pretty absent-minded (which I now know

> was my defense mechanism of dissociating from the crazy situation); I lost a

> lot of things. I still lose things occasionally, and have my absent-minded

> moments with a little more frequency than your average human, but nowhere

> near what I was like a a child. What I'm now realizing is that I wasn't

> responsible for quite a few of those incidents, particularly when those

> things would mysteriously show up again, several months later.

> > > A lot of times, I'd lose precious doll things or favorite dresses and I

> would be punished for losing something so special and berated for being so

> incompetent, irresponsible and in la-la-land and then Nada would

> miraculously " find " them somewhere stupid where I KNEW I would never keep

> them and we'd be expected to praise her and thank her and tell her how much

> we loved her.

> > > I remember as a kid, we would pack our backpacks for school the night

> before so we wouldn't forget anything and lo and behold, I'd get to school

> and I'd be missing my lunch or a folder or something and Nada would have to

> drive it up. I knew early on that she was taking things out and I eventually

> resorted to keeping my backpack in different hiding places in my room (which

> I kept messy to both infuriate her and hide things from her!).

> > > She once stole every pair of my Dad's jeans and hid them for a year

> before giving them back. She ferreted away one of my baby blankets and told

> my Grandma that I'd lost it and only when she made me a new one did the

> other one mysteriously return. I'm not sure about what she'd take from

> Brothers but I'm willing to guess if she did it to me and Dad that she did

> it to them too.

> > >

> > > What I can't figure out is why on earth she would take these things and

> then return them? I mean, I understand taking them if she liked to cause us

> pain or give us something to feel shamed and bad about or maybe feeling like

> we didn't deserve these things, but why give them back? What's in it for

> her? And now, she's doing it anonymously, with none of the show of before?

> > >

> >

>

>

>