Changes of the good variety

[Guest guest]

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

For those who know me, you know I'm super busy with my nursing program so I

don't get much time to read or reply anymore, but I do try to come read and

I sure do think about you all a lot and miss chatting in group with you =)

For those who don't know me, well now you know why I'm often missing in

action (maybe that's what my handle, Mia, stands for ha ha!)

Anyway, just want to give a bit of an update.

Fiance & I moved out of his dad's hoarder house. We are MUCH happier in our

little apartment. It's nice here... clean... quiet (except for the incident

with the neighbors yesterday). I feel MUCH less stress now being out of

that house.

My nursing program is going very very well. I have 3 months and I will be

done and on my way to taking state boards... HOLY COW! I'm maintaining my

4.0 GPA and really feeling at this point in the game like I have gained

confidence and that what I have been learning is coming full circle. I'm

able to put more & more puzzle pieces together when it comes to providing

nursing/health care. I still have A TON to learn though, but I am

definitely feeling much more confident!

I'm also at a point in my C-PTSD recovery that I hardly think about my nada

any more. I'm finding myself less triggered by things, and haven't had a

flash back in ages. I did have a few when I had to sit out of school to have

surgery at the end of last year, but I was also in panic mode.

I'm feeling... dare I say it? Very good!

I have hope now, can see how much I have changed, how much stronger I have

become... I feel like there really is hope for recovery from C-PTSD. I

think there will always be some things (like the neighbors fighting that

sounded like someone being murdered) that will cause me to tense up & such,

but I also think that most people would feel that way. I probably feel it

more because of my experiences, but I also feel like I can finally just

exhale... just breathe.

I am writing this both as an update and as a way to hopefully offer hope to

those here who are suffering. There is hope. You can heal from this damage

that's been done by the borderline/s in your life. Just be patient with

yourself, remember that it's ok to talk to a therapist, and that you've made

a big step by joining this list =)

Anyway, I'm done rambling. But I do feel like I " m at an entirely different

point in my life now than I was at the end of last year. I'm diggin' it!

*hugs*

Mia

[Guest guest]

congratulations on all the positive changes going on, that is just wonderful to

hear. I commend you for doing so well in nursing school, that is a very hard

curriculum especially to maintain a 4.0 in. I am glad you guys have your own

place too. What kind of recovery does one do for the CPTSD? My therapist is

getting ready to assess me for that so I am curious about how one goes about

healing from that.

I have been LC with my mother for 2 wks. We live on the same land and I see her

every day, I just quit talking to her two weeks ago. Not out of anger so much as

out of some switch that god flipped inside me that said, 'you know what? I've

had enough'. At first it was weird but now I feel so intensely peaceful. Very

strange shifts are starting to happen. My father is NPD and he can be a huge

hemorrhoid on a daily basis but we are getting along a lot better now that he is

not threatened by my relationship with Nada because there isn't one. I don't

interact with them much, really, in general but now there is no interaction with

her, and little with him. It's become so much more peaceful. The world makes so

much more sense. I don't feel frantic inside like I do when I am trying to

interact with her and her insane little version of reality that she carries

around. You can't look at her and tell that she lives in a fun-house mirror,

it's only when you get close to her and entrust her with your feelings do you

get sucker-punched by her two best friends delusion and denial. I can't do it

anymore. I have done it for 42 years...and it always lands me in emotional

agony. I can really relate to things feeling like they are starting to turn

around. Hugs back, good luck with school and congratulations on your

achievements!

>

> Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

>

> For those who know me, you know I'm super busy with my nursing program so I

> don't get much time to read or reply anymore, but I do try to come read and

> I sure do think about you all a lot and miss chatting in group with you =)

> For those who don't know me, well now you know why I'm often missing in

> action (maybe that's what my handle, Mia, stands for ha ha!)

>

> Anyway, just want to give a bit of an update.

>

> Fiance & I moved out of his dad's hoarder house. We are MUCH happier in our

> little apartment. It's nice here... clean... quiet (except for the incident

> with the neighbors yesterday). I feel MUCH less stress now being out of

> that house.

>

> My nursing program is going very very well. I have 3 months and I will be

> done and on my way to taking state boards... HOLY COW! I'm maintaining my

> 4.0 GPA and really feeling at this point in the game like I have gained

> confidence and that what I have been learning is coming full circle. I'm

> able to put more & more puzzle pieces together when it comes to providing

> nursing/health care. I still have A TON to learn though, but I am

> definitely feeling much more confident!

>

> I'm also at a point in my C-PTSD recovery that I hardly think about my nada

> any more. I'm finding myself less triggered by things, and haven't had a

> flash back in ages. I did have a few when I had to sit out of school to have

> surgery at the end of last year, but I was also in panic mode.

>

> I'm feeling... dare I say it? Very good!

>

> I have hope now, can see how much I have changed, how much stronger I have

> become... I feel like there really is hope for recovery from C-PTSD. I

> think there will always be some things (like the neighbors fighting that

> sounded like someone being murdered) that will cause me to tense up & such,

> but I also think that most people would feel that way. I probably feel it

> more because of my experiences, but I also feel like I can finally just

> exhale... just breathe.

>

> I am writing this both as an update and as a way to hopefully offer hope to

> those here who are suffering. There is hope. You can heal from this damage

> that's been done by the borderline/s in your life. Just be patient with

> yourself, remember that it's ok to talk to a therapist, and that you've made

> a big step by joining this list =)

>

> Anyway, I'm done rambling. But I do feel like I " m at an entirely different

> point in my life now than I was at the end of last year. I'm diggin' it!

>

> *hugs*

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Mia, I'm really glad things are going so well. Woo hoo!!!

It's nice to know healing is possible, as well as happiness.

>

> Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

>

> For those who know me, you know I'm super busy with my nursing program so I

> don't get much time to read or reply anymore, but I do try to come read and

> I sure do think about you all a lot and miss chatting in group with you =)

> For those who don't know me, well now you know why I'm often missing in

> action (maybe that's what my handle, Mia, stands for ha ha!)

>

> Anyway, just want to give a bit of an update.

>

> Fiance & I moved out of his dad's hoarder house. We are MUCH happier in our

> little apartment. It's nice here... clean... quiet (except for the incident

> with the neighbors yesterday). I feel MUCH less stress now being out of

> that house.

>

> My nursing program is going very very well. I have 3 months and I will be

> done and on my way to taking state boards... HOLY COW! I'm maintaining my

> 4.0 GPA and really feeling at this point in the game like I have gained

> confidence and that what I have been learning is coming full circle. I'm

> able to put more & more puzzle pieces together when it comes to providing

> nursing/health care. I still have A TON to learn though, but I am

> definitely feeling much more confident!

>

> I'm also at a point in my C-PTSD recovery that I hardly think about my nada

> any more. I'm finding myself less triggered by things, and haven't had a

> flash back in ages. I did have a few when I had to sit out of school to have

> surgery at the end of last year, but I was also in panic mode.

>

> I'm feeling... dare I say it? Very good!

>

> I have hope now, can see how much I have changed, how much stronger I have

> become... I feel like there really is hope for recovery from C-PTSD. I

> think there will always be some things (like the neighbors fighting that

> sounded like someone being murdered) that will cause me to tense up & such,

> but I also think that most people would feel that way. I probably feel it

> more because of my experiences, but I also feel like I can finally just

> exhale... just breathe.

>

> I am writing this both as an update and as a way to hopefully offer hope to

> those here who are suffering. There is hope. You can heal from this damage

> that's been done by the borderline/s in your life. Just be patient with

> yourself, remember that it's ok to talk to a therapist, and that you've made

> a big step by joining this list =)

>

> Anyway, I'm done rambling. But I do feel like I " m at an entirely different

> point in my life now than I was at the end of last year. I'm diggin' it!

>

> *hugs*

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fiona, thanks so much! And thanks too IIel.

As for healing, I think everyone's path to healing from trauma is different.

I think we all need to identify our own issues and our own needs, because

everyone's very different.

For me, the real healing began 2 years ago when I moved out of state. I

went completely NC with my nada which was the right thing for me to do.

It's not right for everyone, and want to stress that because some people

can manage a relationship with nadas & fadas, but I couldn't. I had tried

for 30 years and no luck so it was my chance... and I took it. It was a

really hard decision and it sure has been filled with it's ups & downs and

own form of pain, but it has been wonderful for me to get out of that toxic

relationship. Sometimes people will react oddly when they find out I don't

have any contact with my nada, but I tell them, " If it was anyone else in

the world who abused me the way she did... a husband/boyfriend, a friend or

a neighbor... would you expect me to stay in that relationship? " That

usually makes sense to people. Then again, I don't walk around advertising

my dysfunctional/abusive childhood lol. But sure, sometimes it comes up.

It's kinda weird too, because since I moved down here 2 years ago, I've

made 3 close friends. 2 of them have nadas too... it's sad, but it's kind

of a connection we have and we can offer support to one another when their

nadas are being nuts.

I've also been in therapy for many years. My first one was nice, but it was

more like going to talk to a good friend than anything else. I stopped

seeing him and found someone else that I stuck with until I moved out of

state. She was fantastic! She gave me homework, taught me coping

techniques and even helped me find a way to pull myself back into the

present when I used to have flashbacks. So when I moved here, I knew going

NC was going to be a whole new set of challenges, so I found another T and

she's as wonderful as the one I had " back home " . She's taught me a few more

coping & relaxation techniques, listens and helps me feel validated that my

experiences were real. We have also done a few sessions of modified EMDR.

(More info on EMDR if anyone's interested http://www.emdr.com/)

For me, the best thing I ever could have done for myself was cut off contact

from my abuser. The next best thing comes in the form of my wonderful and

supportive fiance, and then a very close third was my decision to go back to

school. It's done wonders for my confidence and self esteem. I love school

and can't wait to be a nurse. I really think this is what I'm supposed to be

doing; this is my purpose. I love helping other people using evidence based

practice! Plus I'm a science nerd hehe.

So I can't really say it's been any one thing in particular, but it's been a

combination of things that I feel have helped me. I feel like a

new-and-improved version of myself. I'm... dare I say it? HAPPY! And

coping with other stressful things much better too.

I'd suggest anyone who is feeling down & out, depressed, anxious, etc due to

trauma look for a good therapist who knows trauma well. When I found my new

one, I specifically looked for T's who specialized in trauma AND personality

disorders because I suspected she'd " get it " . I think I was right, she does.

Anyway, thanks again and you don't need to ask for or wait around for

permission to start healing. It can be scary, but we've all lived through

hell before... healing is a long process, but oh so worth it.

Mia

>

>

> Mia, I'm really glad things are going so well. Woo hoo!!!

>

> It's nice to know healing is possible, as well as happiness.

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

> >

> > For those who know me, you know I'm super busy with my nursing program so

> I

> > don't get much time to read or reply anymore, but I do try to come read

> and

> > I sure do think about you all a lot and miss chatting in group with you

> =)

> > For those who don't know me, well now you know why I'm often missing in

> > action (maybe that's what my handle, Mia, stands for ha ha!)

> >

> > Anyway, just want to give a bit of an update.

> >

> > Fiance & I moved out of his dad's hoarder house. We are MUCH happier in

> our

> > little apartment. It's nice here... clean... quiet (except for the

> incident

> > with the neighbors yesterday). I feel MUCH less stress now being out of

> > that house.

> >

> > My nursing program is going very very well. I have 3 months and I will be

> > done and on my way to taking state boards... HOLY COW! I'm maintaining my

> > 4.0 GPA and really feeling at this point in the game like I have gained

> > confidence and that what I have been learning is coming full circle. I'm

> > able to put more & more puzzle pieces together when it comes to providing

> > nursing/health care. I still have A TON to learn though, but I am

> > definitely feeling much more confident!

> >

> > I'm also at a point in my C-PTSD recovery that I hardly think about my

> nada

> > any more. I'm finding myself less triggered by things, and haven't had a

> > flash back in ages. I did have a few when I had to sit out of school to

> have

> > surgery at the end of last year, but I was also in panic mode.

> >

> > I'm feeling... dare I say it? Very good!

> >

> > I have hope now, can see how much I have changed, how much stronger I

> have

> > become... I feel like there really is hope for recovery from C-PTSD. I

> > think there will always be some things (like the neighbors fighting that

> > sounded like someone being murdered) that will cause me to tense up &

> such,

> > but I also think that most people would feel that way. I probably feel it

> > more because of my experiences, but I also feel like I can finally just

> > exhale... just breathe.

> >

> > I am writing this both as an update and as a way to hopefully offer hope

> to

> > those here who are suffering. There is hope. You can heal from this

> damage

> > that's been done by the borderline/s in your life. Just be patient with

> > yourself, remember that it's ok to talk to a therapist, and that you've

> made

> > a big step by joining this list =)

> >

> > Anyway, I'm done rambling. But I do feel like I " m at an entirely

> different

> > point in my life now than I was at the end of last year. I'm diggin' it!

> >

> > *hugs*

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >