no more nada?

[Guest guest]

Hi group! I need your support more than ever. After 18 years of marriage my

father has finally decided to divorce nada. I've been wanting this to happen for

a while but now that it has, I feel broken. They have six children together and

at 18, I am the oldest. I feel more depressed and lost than ever. I am praying

that this decision truly is for the better.

[Guest guest]

, I empathize with your situation completely. I had just turned 18 and

had been in college one semester when my Dad served Nada the divorce papers. I

knew he had been thinking about it for about a year and I knew before anyone

else did. I am the oldest of four at 19 and at the time was the only one living

out of Nada's grip. The custody battle is finally ending and the financial mess

is still being sorted through a year and some odd months later.

It's very painful. I feel horrible that you also have to go through this.

When it was happening, I felt despondent that the life I knew was crumbling,

even though when I moved out at 17, I knew I was never coming back. I felt

disillusioned and angry with my Dad that he would save my siblings and give them

a chance at having a semi-normal home life for a while that I never had. I felt

guilty that I was no longer the protector of my siblings. I was frustrated and

angry at Nada as she looked to me to fill her emotional needs now that my father

was not monitoring and stabilizing her. She was losing it more and more and her

attacks became more and more vicious and frightening. I felt relief, guilt,

anger and a multitude of other emotions when she was forced to move out. I still

am trying to make sense of it all sometimes.

But it does get better. It's painful and it takes time to process and deal with.

I've found that exercise, yoga and journaling while listening to music that I

can connect to has helped me express the complex emotions I feel. Reading the

books that many have suggested on the website have also helped me cope with the

aftermath of the situation. Knowledge is power. My brother who is closest in age

to me and attending the same university in the fall and I will be starting

therapy together after we get settled in.

I wish I had found this group while I was going through it all and I'm so glad

you did. We're here to listen and provide support.

You're in my thoughts and wishing you the best,

C

>

> Hi group! I need your support more than ever. After 18 years of marriage my

father has finally decided to divorce nada. I've been wanting this to happen for

a while but now that it has, I feel broken. They have six children together and

at 18, I am the oldest. I feel more depressed and lost than ever. I am praying

that this decision truly is for the better.

>

[Guest guest]

I hope the divorce improves things for your family.

My father divorced my nada when I was about 16. This happened

after cornered me in the car one day and made me promise to keep

a secret then told me she was having an affair. Later, when she

was tired of trying to keep it a secret, she arranged things so

that I had to be the one to tell my father about it. As far as I

was concerned, the day she left was one of the best days of my

teen-age years. Things were peaceful at home again after that. I

wouldn't talk to her unless forced for quite some time

afterward.

At 02:12 AM 07/31/2011 desiree.fietsam wrote:

>Hi group! I need your support more than ever. After 18 years of

>marriage my father has finally decided to divorce nada. I've

>been wanting this to happen for a while but now that it has, I

>feel broken. They have six children together and at 18, I am

>the oldest. I feel more depressed and lost than ever. I am

>praying that this decision truly is for the better.

--

Katrina