NC with nada, but still LC with fada and its stressing me out!

[Guest guest]

I have been NC with nada for over a year now. Its been great and things in my

life have been awesome. Granted, its tough not having a mom and I stress about

it alot, but I accept my reality and realize it is what it is. I have finally

been able to get rid of the toxicity in my life and its been nice.

My fada was sick while I was NC so I re-established communication with him as a

result. Call it F.O.G, but I felt bad that he was in the hospital and I wasn't

there. Its been about 3 months and its starting to stress me out. As a child, my

fada NEVER stood up for me. Typical fada behavior, he always just sat back and

allowed my nada to criticize and abuse me. Even the last time I was at their

house, my nada was screaming yelling at me and charging at me and took a look at

my fada just standing there doing nothing.

Now that I have chosen to have him back in my life, I constantly feel as if I am

in an interview. I know that everytime he calls, he is " instructed " to do so by

my nada. I know that every answer I give is going back to her and is disected

and torn apart. Whenever he asks for my husband, he says " So is he working? "

WTF??? Really? My husband has always had a job and has always worked.

I feel like I am getting tied down again, but I still want to maintain contact

with my father but then again I have a lot of resentment towards him for never

having my back. I think I still see him as an abused spouse that needs help.

AJ