Re : Re: sick and tired

[Guest guest]

Dear Heartfulcourage,

I know what you mean because my Nada never bought to me new clothes either, or

toys. Today I am a mummy too, of two boys and a girl.

I want to share with you the way I think and I feel because maybe it could help

you too.

I never compare myself with other families in town or in shops. You know what we

see from outside we never know really if people are happy inside or not.

Somehow my children are curing myself from my past child sufferings. Because

each time I buy to them new clothes or new toys, it is a little like if I was

buying them for myself too, for the crying little girl which is still living

inside me. I give all to them what I never received, and I am so happy for them

and it is curing me and my little inside child. My daughter has the dreaming

bedroom I dreamt to have, and the beautiful clothes I dreamt to have, and all

the dolls I never had, etc. Her happyness and normal daughter's life makes me so

deeply happy, like if she was myself young again. All I give to her what I never

received, is curing me more and more. And you know what she uses to tell me ? I

have an awfull picture of my mother with me one month half in her arms, nada is

not even looking at me and this picture hurts me so much. She was rarely giving

any kisses and never cudling. And I was starving for cudles and kisses.

Honestly, when I look at

this picture of myself baby, I think inside that I didn't desserve love, that I

was not an attractive baby....Well my cute daughter uses to tell me : " Mummy,

you know what ? I would like to cuddle this little baby you were and to give you

lots of kisses, because you were a so cute baby ! " And this is so curing for me

to hear that !

Do you know " You can heal your life " from Louise Hay ? It has been very helpful

for me.

Imagine when you buy something for your children, that you are buying all this

also for the still crying little child inside you, to confort her more and more.

You are my sister somehow, I mean, we have been through kindof similar things. 

I give you a big hug !!!!

Yes, live in the present, but give to your inner child and confort her !

Take very good care of yourself !!!!

Natacha

XXXX

________________________________

De : " eliza92@... "

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Vendredi 9 mars 2012 10h02

Objet : Re: sick and tired

 

(((((HC))))) I can imagine how hard it would be - I don't have kids but if I

did many memories would surface. Have you ever read The Power of Now by

Eckhart Tolle? He's all about " now " and being fully conscious in the present

is the answer to everything. I think that there's SO MUCH trauma, layers and

layers of it for years that maybe the present is the only place we can be free?

That's the strategy I'm hoping to get to work anyway. I hope you feel better

soon - you are doing a great thing in owning your own stuff and not putting it

on your kids as so many do.

Eliza

> > >

> > > Does anyone here ever get exhausted from just having to do the normal

things that people do and having so many strange associations with those things

because of having a nada?

> > >

> > > That is how I am feeling right now. I know it is a bit pathetic, but I

wish I could just be a normal person with normal associations with what could be

happy things.

> > >

> > > HC

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Natacha and Annie...I WANT YOU BOTH TO BE MY MOM!!!!!

Do you ever meet people now that are great moms and wish you could have had a

do-over with that person as your mom?

I do.

Natacha, I too feel the way you do...like I do all the things for my kids that I

wish I had been given...and it does make me feel better to know that I am the

kind of mom that is unconditional and appreciates my kids' existences.

And when I compare myself on occasion to others, I get very upset...so now I try

to stay away from comparing with the world.

I keep saying to myself, " I have been very unlucky in the Mom Department. "

Then I break it up with, " I am very lucky in the Husband & Kids Department. "

I always try to make myself feel better...always a struggle. I hope, one day, to

be free of this cycle.

Amy

barrycove@...