Guest guest Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 This could totally explain my problems http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 No doubt! I liked how the CDC said this: A 2010 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report says exposure to abuse and serious family dysfunction can alter children’s developing nervous, immune and metabolic systems by activating the stress response. Those negative experiences have been linked to cardiovascular disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, autoimmune diseases, substance abuse and depression. Soooo true. Even just verbal/emotional/mental abuse has the same effect. No wonder I rarely get sick ever since I moved out and gone NC. Thank God I'm free. On Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 6:10 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@... > wrote: > ** > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 It's so true. I was on six allergy and asthma meds when I was living in the hell nada created and now on my own, I have only one OTC allergy med. The whole situation, for all children in abuse situations, is so sad. It just makes me want to cry. > > > ** > > > > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 Good article, Girlscout. Thanks for sharing; it really is becoming more and more evident from various sources and studies that subjecting children to emotional and physical abuse and neglect is very damaging to children in many ways, as much as sexual abuse is horribly damaging and traumatizing. I hope that future generations will take a more proactive, concerned and involved stance RE children's emotional health. I think education is the key; if kids become educated in their school curriculum starting in kindergarden (in age-appropriate ways) to understand and recognize what abusive, bullying behaviors sound like and look like, as compared to what mentally healthy behaviors sound like and look like, then eventually all generations will at least be aware that, hey, screaming in rage, physical abuse and intimidation, degrading and shaming, stealing, exploiting and neglecting, threats, emotional blackmail, etc., etc., that these and other negative, hurtful behaviors are unhealthy and abusive and its not OK to treat other people like that. -Annie > > This could totally explain my problems > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I bet it's true. I used to think as a child that I *liked* hearing my parents fight constantly, b/c it meant someone was home and I was safe. What a weird thing to think, right? I'm realizing now how much it affected me and how low my tolerance has become for noise, esp people yelling at each other. It literally makes me sick. > > This could totally explain my problems > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I too can't stand people fighting/yelling at each other. It makes me feel ill and shaky, and usually I burst into tears. There was a TV documentary on a while back about extreme anger in families, and when the yelling started, I had to turn it off. As a child I had asthma and psoriasis, and in my early teens developed an eating disorder and depression. I no longer have the eating disorder, but I have all the other ailments, including chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. On Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 7:31 PM, Holly Lipschultz < hollymichellebyers@...> wrote: > No doubt! I liked how the CDC said this: > A 2010 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report says exposure to > abuse and serious family dysfunction can alter children’s developing > nervous, immune and metabolic systems by activating the stress response. > Those negative experiences have been linked to cardiovascular disease, > chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, autoimmune diseases, substance abuse > and depression. > > Soooo true. Even just verbal/emotional/mental abuse has the same effect. No > wonder I rarely get sick ever since I moved out and gone NC. Thank God I'm > free. > > On Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 6:10 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < > girlscout.cowboy@... > > wrote: > > > ** > > > > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > > > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I'm glad you were overcome the eating disorder Depression is a sneaky thing. I'm still battling it now and then, and have it mostly udner control with counseling and medicine, which helps me to eat better and exercise more, which in turn helps my mood improve. Anger is very triggering for me, too. Once on the L, late at night with my husband, this couple entered the ot herwise empty L car, and he was being very controlling and overpowering with her, and she finally slapped him. He then slapped her sending her phone skittering across the floor where it broke into pieces. We kept pressing the button that alerts the yelling and the noise to the driver, and the driver was going really slow to give police time to get to one of the L stations to meet the couple there. DH and I hurried off the car, and I really started freaking out. It was so weird. I was horribly scared, and scared of everythign. DH was confused about where our destination was, until he figured it out. It was only a couple blocks away, but I ws completely terrified. Thank God DH just hailed a cab. > I too can't stand people fighting/yelling at each other. It makes me feel > ill and shaky, and usually I burst into tears. There was a TV documentary > on > a while back about extreme anger in families, and when the yelling started, > I had to turn it off. > As a child I had asthma and psoriasis, and in my early teens developed an > eating disorder and depression. I no longer have the eating disorder, but I > have all the other ailments, including chronic obstructive pulmonary > disease. > > On Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 7:31 PM, Holly Lipschultz < > hollymichellebyers@...> wrote: > > > No doubt! I liked how the CDC said this: > > A 2010 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report says exposure to > > abuse and serious family dysfunction can alter children’s developing > > nervous, immune and metabolic systems by activating the stress response. > > Those negative experiences have been linked to cardiovascular disease, > > chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, autoimmune diseases, substance > abuse > > and depression. > > > > Soooo true. Even just verbal/emotional/mental abuse has the same effect. > No > > wonder I rarely get sick ever since I moved out and gone NC. Thank God > I'm > > free. > > > > On Mon, Aug 1, 2011 at 6:10 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < > > girlscout.cowboy@... > > > wrote: > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > > > > > > > > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 It sounds to me like you had a post-traumatic stress disorder reaction, like a " flashback. " I think several of us here probably have that going on to one degree or another. I became drama-phobic, to the point where I didn't want to even be in an adult relationship at all. I craved being alone, in blissful, peaceful quiet, in my own place that is *mine.* (When I was growing up, my room was not " mine " , it was nada's house and nada had the right to invade my privacy whenever she chose.) Although I like people and enjoy being around friends, co-workers, and acquaintances unless there is drama and negativity, I've discovered that after a day or two of being around even nice, sweet people I am exhausted and need to " recover " . So I'm guessing that subconsciously I'm on edge, hyper-alert, and waiting for the " turn " to happen: the inevitable explosion that was just the " norm " at my house growing up. -Annie > > > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I think so. I don't recall if my fada ever hit anyone (nor my mom). I don't think he was ever that kind of physically abusive, but it's possible that he was when I was younger. I can't rule it out, but there's no memories to corroborate that. But the anger, the fights...yes. I don't doubt it was PTSD. It's amazing DH stuck with me all while we were dating and engaged, because I was triggered fairly often by any sort of disagreement. Thankfully I've largely worked past it, so that DH and I can build our own healthy relationship. It would take a pretty big trigger to put me on edge again--like witnessing another case of domestic abuse. And that " inevitable explosion " ...that describes exactly how it was growing up. Pretending to be happy while waiting for the other shoe to drop on a landmine. I used to feel that way--being people-tired after a little while and just needing to withdraw for a little bit to recover. Now I just try to incorporate a little bit of silence every day and that has been incredibly useful for me. Usually the early mornings, before DH even gets up, I like to get ready for work in the quiet. Sometimes I'll even leave my hearing aids out. Heavenly peace! On Tue, Aug 2, 2011 at 11:12 AM, anuria67854 wrote: > ** > > > It sounds to me like you had a post-traumatic stress disorder reaction, > like a " flashback. " > > I think several of us here probably have that going on to one degree or > another. I became drama-phobic, to the point where I didn't want to even be > in an adult relationship at all. I craved being alone, in blissful, peaceful > quiet, in my own place that is *mine.* (When I was growing up, my room was > not " mine " , it was nada's house and nada had the right to invade my privacy > whenever she chose.) > > Although I like people and enjoy being around friends, co-workers, and > acquaintances unless there is drama and negativity, I've discovered that > after a day or two of being around even nice, sweet people I am exhausted > and need to " recover " . So I'm guessing that subconsciously I'm on edge, > hyper-alert, and waiting for the " turn " to happen: the inevitable explosion > that was just the " norm " at my house growing up. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This could totally explain my problems > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Here's another article in relation to the one you posted, Girlscout! http://www.futurity.org/health-medicine/troubled-kids-at-risk-for-heart-disease/ Let me know what you think! > > This could totally explain my problems > > http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/52170036-78/violence-percent-abuse-utah.html.c\ sp > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 > > I think several of us here probably have that going on to one degree or >> another. I became drama-phobic, to the point where I didn't want to even be >> in an adult relationship at all. I craved being alone, in blissful, peaceful >> quiet, in my own place that is *mine.* (When I was growing up, my room was >> not " mine " , it was nada's house and nada had the right to invade my privacy >> whenever she chose.) > > Although I like people and enjoy being around friends, co-workers, and > acquaintances unless there is drama and negativity, I've discovered that > after a day or two of being around even nice, sweet people I am exhausted > and need to " recover " . So I'm guessing that subconsciously I'm on edge, > hyper-alert, and waiting for the " turn " to happen: the inevitable explosion > that was just the " norm " at my house growing up. > > Wow... SAME HERE - on all points!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Interesting article. I would LOVE to take that quiz!! > ** > > > > > > I think several of us here probably have that going on to one degree or > >> another. I became drama-phobic, to the point where I didn't want to even > be > >> in an adult relationship at all. I craved being alone, in blissful, > peaceful > >> quiet, in my own place that is *mine.* (When I was growing up, my room > was > >> not " mine " , it was nada's house and nada had the right to invade my > privacy > >> whenever she chose.) > > > > Although I like people and enjoy being around friends, co-workers, andke > th > > acquaintances unless there is drama and negativity, I've discovered that > > after a day or two of being around even nice, sweet people I am exhausted > > and need to " recover " . So I'm guessing that subconsciously I'm on edge, > > hyper-alert, and waiting for the " turn " to happen: the inevitable > explosion > > that was just the " norm " at my house growing up. > > > > > Wow... SAME HERE - on all points!!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 That is exactly the way I am, too. The other thing is that, in my life at least, people=obligations, and if I want any life left for myself, I have to keep people out of it. Probably it is because I don't know how to defend myself from obligations I don't want to take on, but mostly I end up just blindsided with them and the next thing I know, there they are in my lap and there's nobody else to do them. So I'm exhausted that way a lot, too. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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