Guest guest Posted August 1, 2011 Report Share Posted August 1, 2011 Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin but it's like *nothing* registers with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 It doesn't matter--you have a plan, you know you are eating correctly. She is just nasty static in the background. She can rattle her opinions off, and all her 'readings' but that doesn't mean you have to listen. You know what is best for you, and you aren't asking her for advice. If you must be around her, don't let her rent space in your brain. Did you notice? She ambushed you with a topic that she KNEW would get you upset. When you gave her the response to 'butt out' she immediately went to victim ( " I'm not going to mention this again " ). Anything you replied at that point never entered her brain--she was going to be the poor victim, with you cast in the role of big bad wolf. She got the response she wanted--you feeling HER pain--and you all PO'd--while she can walk away telling herself she is just a caring mother and you an angry child. They've had decades to master these scenarios. Now that you know, next time remember to trust in your own food plan and don't let her rile you. If you don't give her the reaction she wants, she'll start looking elsewhere for a target. > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 You are right about the ambush even though I could tell that my reaction surprised her a bit. The fact that I calmly finished my sandwich without saying another word to her must have been irritating. She sat there with a scowl on her face while watching TV and I didn't explain myself further nor did I apologize for thing. It's a total power trip for her, which is why I called her a dictator later on and when she claimed I was disobedient I asked her if SHE did/agreed with EVERYTHING my grandmother (who WAS almost a saint) told her. Surprise, surprise she immediately kept her mouth shut. You see my grandmother flat out said that my mother was 'hard to deal with' and she preferred to spend more time with some of her other children. My mother acted all hurt without seeming to understand why! Unfortunately, I went to bed in a bad mood and feeling drained . > > > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 what a bitch my gawd only a bitch would say that and she knows it!!!! > ** > > > You are right about the ambush even though I could tell that my reaction > surprised her a bit. The fact that I calmly finished my sandwich without > saying another word to her must have been irritating. She sat there with a > scowl on her face while watching TV and I didn't explain myself further nor > did I apologize for thing. It's a total power trip for her, which is why I > called her a dictator later on and when she claimed I was disobedient I > asked her if SHE did/agreed with EVERYTHING my grandmother (who WAS almost a > saint) told her. Surprise, surprise she immediately kept her mouth shut. You > see my grandmother flat out said that my mother was 'hard to deal with' and > she preferred to spend more time with some of her other children. My mother > acted all hurt without seeming to understand why! Unfortunately, I went to > bed in a bad mood and feeling drained . > > > > > > > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch > with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink > just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth > into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at > her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too > much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat > ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then > she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If > you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she > glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't > hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact > that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid > points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, > unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating > numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told > her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always > possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more > water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was > diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin > but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 How cruel. Nadas and their weight issues. Ugh! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds like you are becoming so healthy, both physically and emotionally! We're proud of you for taking charge of your own life! Good for you for not taking your Nada's sh*t!! I just had some thoughts on Nadas and weight issues and I figured I'd share, since it's always been such an integral part of the abuse I met at Nada's hands. Both my nada and grandnada are horribly anorexic, and just teeny tiny little people, both scaling in less than 100lbs and below 5'0 " . It was so frustrating growing up as a curvy girl. I'm by no means fat, but now I have about 40lbs on nada at her biggest and stand around 2-3 " taller than she is and believe me, she LOVED to bring this up whenever she'd visit me before I went NC. Nada didn't become super skinny until well into her late 30's, and would go on crazy diets and force me on them too. I've always been rather petite and it was just ridiculous to do this to a high school girl, who already feels the pressure to be thin. So ridiculous. It was the greatest moment in my life when I realized that I was beautiful just the way I was. I didn't need to be super-skinny to be pretty, confident and happy with myself. I could embrace my curves and athleticism that Nada hated so much and had ridiculed my entire life. It's been just fabulous realizing that while I have my ups and downs, and my body does change everyday, none of that detracts from me, and as long as I keep myself healthy, I'm good. I have much more important things to fret about than feeling fat. > > > > > > > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch > > with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink > > just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth > > into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at > > her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too > > much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat > > ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then > > she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If > > you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she > > glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't > > hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact > > that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid > > points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, > > unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating > > numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told > > her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always > > possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more > > water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was > > diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin > > but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Yes, nadas and their weight issues; yet another way to inflict self-alienation on her child. Up until the time I hit puberty, I was " not OK " because I was " too thin. " (Mealtimes were torture sessions, I was too anxious to eat.) Then when I hit puberty, I was " not OK " because I was " too fat. " (Finally, I had an appetite, and I was developing my adult body. So the fact that I wasn't slightly underweight anymore meant I was " fat. " ) I was freaking normal, well within the normal range in both cases. I was simply " not OK " to my nada, period, and she made it abundantly clear to me whenever she had the opportunity. I hate her for inflicting such deeply-rooted self-alienation on me. I hope I get over this hatred, but I do feel it now. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch > > > with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink > > > just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth > > > into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at > > > her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too > > > much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat > > > ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then > > > she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If > > > you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she > > > glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't > > > hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact > > > that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid > > > points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, > > > unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating > > > numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told > > > her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always > > > possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more > > > water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was > > > diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin > > > but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 good lord. would make me want to share a knuckle sandwich with her. or reply, " you are rude. you should watch what you say, it's too offensive. " but I know after that point, the damage is done. they just are so !@#$%$ miserable they cannot stand for us to be happy or content. Hugs. > > Ok so I ate a total of 1,300 calories today. One sandwich for lunch with chips and another for dinner. No soda or anything else sugary to drink just water. So what does my mother say just as I am about to sink my teeth into my veggie-laden sandwich? " You are overweight. " and after I looked at her blankly she follows with " You need to watch how much you eat, it's too much. " I glared at her and snapped, " What do you want from me? To not eat ANYTHING? Is it too much to eat a freaking sandwich in front of you? " Then she says " I'm not going to mention this ever again. " To which I replied, " If you aren't going to be constructive about it then I agree, don't. Then she glared at me and said " You despise me don't you. " I told her that I didn't hate her but that I DID despise her attitude sometimes and that the fact that I didn't agree with her on everything did not mean I didn't take valid points into consideration. I consider myself a rational person which is, unfortunately, a lot more than I can say for her. Then she said that eating numerous meals throughout the day was better for one's metabolism and I told her that I already knew that but that given my schedule it wasn't always possible. I told her that I was already counting calories, drinking more water and doing more exercise. I have been more careful after I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder and have even been prescribed Metformin but it's like *nothing* registers with her. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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