Guest guest Posted March 11, 2012 Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Hi I am staying with my mom who has all the characteristics of BPD but has NEVER (just once, years ago) taken responsibility for her reactions or actions, it is always someone else's fault. I have kids ranging from 10 to 20 and waffle between protecting them and letting them develop tools and skills to cope with their grandma. We don't live close and see her a couple of times a year. We stay with her during those visits. I am always torn about sending my kids (who love her and want to be with her) and the results are always the same - great times interspursed with crying, blame and tension. I know it sounds horrid and broken yet we survive, look at only the good and visit again. I am not sure that I actually have a question, I guess I just needed to share this. In all our years my (I am 50) mother has only once (briefly) admitted that I must have gone through hell and that she is sorry. It is mind bending and insanity making especially since she is super sensitive and extremely brilliant. Most of the family (I am the exception here) have cut off ties and/or see her as rarely as possible. I read walking on eggshells years ago and was shocked and disturbed and became emotional while reading what sounded like a summary of our relationship and her personality. I think I will move onto the next book and hope to build some boundaries - something I am not good at - I usually try to appease her or take the 5th - sometimes I just ride out the storm - cause it always passes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2012 Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 Welcome to the Group, not skipper. It really helped me when I discovered that I wasn't the only one who had experienced the treatment I did from my mother, that there were others whose stories sounded uncannily like incidents I had experienced. You'll receive emotional support and validation here. Its a great Group. -Annie > > Hi > > I am staying with my mom who has all the characteristics of BPD but has NEVER (just once, years ago) taken responsibility for her reactions or actions, it is always someone else's fault. I have kids ranging from 10 to 20 and waffle between protecting them and letting them develop tools and skills to cope with their grandma. We don't live close and see her a couple of times a year. > We stay with her during those visits. I am always torn about sending my kids (who love her and want to be with her) and the results are always the same - great times interspursed with crying, blame and tension. I know it sounds horrid and broken yet we survive, look at only the good and visit again. I am not sure that I actually have a question, I guess I just needed to share this. In all our years my (I am 50) mother has only once (briefly) admitted that I must have gone through hell and that she is sorry. It is mind bending and insanity making especially since she is super sensitive and extremely brilliant. Most of the family (I am the exception here) have cut off ties and/or see her as rarely as possible. I read walking on eggshells years ago and was shocked and disturbed and became emotional while reading what sounded like a summary of our relationship and her personality. > I think I will move onto the next book and hope to build some boundaries - something I am not good at - I usually try to appease her or take the 5th - sometimes I just ride out the storm - cause it always passes. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.