One small step for sanity

[Guest guest]

Just had to share:

Some of you have read my posts recently about my nada's nastiness to me and I

was having trouble coping. Then things smoothed over but she still seems a bit

on edge. I really don't trust her.

Just got off the phone with her, all the usual complaints about the bank, pencil

sharpener made in China, the phone: bottom line she can't figure these things

out on her own. Then she asked me why, at her last doctor visit, did the doctor

take me out of the room to talk to me, then sent me back in alone. I told her he

didn't do that. She insists he did. I told her I don't remember that at all,

that I sat in there while he talked to her, examined her, shook her hand goodbye

and all he did was nod at me and said " nice to meet you " , then he left. She

insists that he took me out to talk to me. I then said, " Well, I have no idea;

why don't you call him and ask him? He has no need to talk to me about

anything, I'm not his patient. " She backed right off and said no, she wasn't

going to call him. But she was going to call the nurse. I said, that's a good

idea.

Score one for me. And I don't even feel stressed about it.

[Guest guest]

Nice.

Smooth, cool, and collected.

>

> Just had to share:

>

> Some of you have read my posts recently about my nada's nastiness to me and I

was having trouble coping. Then things smoothed over but she still seems a bit

on edge. I really don't trust her.

>

> Just got off the phone with her, all the usual complaints about the bank,

pencil sharpener made in China, the phone: bottom line she can't figure these

things out on her own. Then she asked me why, at her last doctor visit, did the

doctor take me out of the room to talk to me, then sent me back in alone. I told

her he didn't do that. She insists he did. I told her I don't remember that at

all, that I sat in there while he talked to her, examined her, shook her hand

goodbye and all he did was nod at me and said " nice to meet you " , then he left.

She insists that he took me out to talk to me. I then said, " Well, I have no

idea; why don't you call him and ask him? He has no need to talk to me about

anything, I'm not his patient. " She backed right off and said no, she wasn't

going to call him. But she was going to call the nurse. I said, that's a good

idea.

>

> Score one for me. And I don't even feel stressed about it.

>

[Guest guest]

Excellent nada-wrangling! And good on you for not letting that stress you out,

too; I'm giving you a virtual thumb's up of encouragement!

Like yours, my nada was rather paranoid and her perception of reality was pretty

skewed as well. Dad, Sister and I were often accused of doing, or saying, or

thinking things we did not do, say, or think. It was in SWOE, I believe, that I

read that for those with bpd " feelings are facts. "

It makes me shake my head in wonder as to why such behaviors are NOT considered

to be full-blown psychosis. From what I've read and understand, it takes

hallucinations before a diagnosis of psychosis is given.

So, I just don't get it. I think my nada was way too disconnected from reality

and way too emotionally unstable to have been raising kids. I don't understand

why this condition isn't considered to be more serious than it is.

-Annie

>

> Just had to share:

>

> Some of you have read my posts recently about my nada's nastiness to me and I

was having trouble coping. Then things smoothed over but she still seems a bit

on edge. I really don't trust her.

>

> Just got off the phone with her, all the usual complaints about the bank,

pencil sharpener made in China, the phone: bottom line she can't figure these

things out on her own. Then she asked me why, at her last doctor visit, did the

doctor take me out of the room to talk to me, then sent me back in alone. I told

her he didn't do that. She insists he did. I told her I don't remember that at

all, that I sat in there while he talked to her, examined her, shook her hand

goodbye and all he did was nod at me and said " nice to meet you " , then he left.

She insists that he took me out to talk to me. I then said, " Well, I have no

idea; why don't you call him and ask him? He has no need to talk to me about

anything, I'm not his patient. " She backed right off and said no, she wasn't

going to call him. But she was going to call the nurse. I said, that's a good

idea.

>

> Score one for me. And I don't even feel stressed about it.

>

[Guest guest]

Way to go- the board is proud. And way to go for not even feeling stressed. If

you were enmeshed and nuts, you could call her now and ask her very sweetly what

the nurse said and tell her that you're really hoping that she'll get to the

bottom of the mystery. It scares me how easily that idea comes to me.

As far as it being psychosis, I often think my nada knows she lying when she

does this kind of stuff. I agree that nadas think feelings are facts, but I

suspect that much of the time she's well aware of objective reality invalidating

her claims. I've been fighting the temptation lately to sleuth out some of her

stories. Do I want to spend my time on this?

> >

> > Just had to share:

> >

> > Some of you have read my posts recently about my nada's nastiness to me and

I was having trouble coping. Then things smoothed over but she still seems a bit

on edge. I really don't trust her.

> >

> > Just got off the phone with her, all the usual complaints about the bank,

pencil sharpener made in China, the phone: bottom line she can't figure these

things out on her own. Then she asked me why, at her last doctor visit, did the

doctor take me out of the room to talk to me, then sent me back in alone. I told

her he didn't do that. She insists he did. I told her I don't remember that at

all, that I sat in there while he talked to her, examined her, shook her hand

goodbye and all he did was nod at me and said " nice to meet you " , then he left.

She insists that he took me out to talk to me. I then said, " Well, I have no

idea; why don't you call him and ask him? He has no need to talk to me about

anything, I'm not his patient. " She backed right off and said no, she wasn't

going to call him. But she was going to call the nurse. I said, that's a good

idea.

> >

> > Score one for me. And I don't even feel stressed about it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. Remember, this is just one small step and I'm sure I'll stumble again.

But moments like this give me hope.

I don't know what seems real to her and what is manipulation. In the end, I

guess it doesn't matter. It gets down to the question of did I do something

wrong and do I need to apologize for anything? 99% of the time the answer is

no. I can live with that.

What piques my curiosity is what she says to others about me. Generally speaking

I try to be friendly, compassionate and kind. Yes, I confess that I get cranky

when someone is rude to me while driving but my anger lasts about 5 seconds,

long enough to call the other driver a butt nugget and then I go on. The thought

that her doctor or the nice man at the post office or her neighbors might think

that I'm abusing her in any way makes me sick. But what can I do except be

myself when I see these people?

>

> Way to go- the board is proud. And way to go for not even feeling stressed.

If you were enmeshed and nuts, you could call her now and ask her very sweetly

what the nurse said and tell her that you're really hoping that she'll get to

the bottom of the mystery. It scares me how easily that idea comes to me.

>

> As far as it being psychosis, I often think my nada knows she lying when she

does this kind of stuff. I agree that nadas think feelings are facts, but I

suspect that much of the time she's well aware of objective reality invalidating

her claims. I've been fighting the temptation lately to sleuth out some of her

stories. Do I want to spend my time on this?

>