Remembered something...

[Guest guest]

I've been working really hard lately to deal with PTSD, and one of the symptoms

I really have a problem with is dissociating and simply not remembering things.

It's always such a revelation when all the sudden I remember something that

explains so much.

And today, I remembered something important and it made me upset.

When we had just moved from Virginia to Wisconsin, my nada was angry. All the

time. She would lash out at anyone and everyone and was extremely volatile. The

emotional and verbal abuse become more violent and the beatings became more

frequent.

After seeing her hurt my youngest brother, I got brave. I was in third grade and

I knew there was nothing I could do at home because I felt trapped and Dad was

no help as would usually side with Mom because he never knew what happened when

he wasn't around and when he was, he was so busy just trying to help her pull

her sh*t together for us that our emotional needs went to the back-burner.

I went to the guidance counselor at school. I began simply by telling her I

didn't fit in at this new school and was being bullied (the fat kid with the

southern accent who likes math? It doesn't GET any easier than that for

bullies!). I said I liked my last school because it was a home and this one

wasn't. She asked me how I could make it more of a home and I told her that she

didn't understand. I needed a home here because I didn't have one at home. I

told her there was something wrong with my mom. I showed her a couple bruises.

And she did nothing. Maybe it was too much work to get involved. Maybe she

didn't think she had a strong enough case or was waiting for me to come back

again or for my brother to speak up (youngest brother wasn't in kindergarten yet

and sister wasn't to begin preschool until next year).

I'm realizing now that that school didn't just fail me in terms of my education

and helping me succeed, but they completely failed me when I came to them as a

child of abuse and asked for help. The guidance counselor simply told me that my

mom was under a lot of stress and to be a better daughter and help out at home

more and that things would get better.

Thinking about this now, this is insane!! Isn't that what elementary school

guidance counselors are for???? I never had the guts to tell anyone else what

was going on, but I wish I had. I'm just horrified. To make matters worse, she

sent a note home to my mom asking if she was alright with the stress of the move

and inviting her to join their PTA to help her find a new circle of friends here

in a new town. I was in utter disbelief.

So now I have to get past this resistance to go to T's or counseling because I'm

afraid of this. That it will do nothing.

And Nada doesn't understand why I didn't like elementary school.

[Guest guest]

(((((CLFM))))))

I'm so sorry that when you reached out for help, which must have been so, so

hard for you as a child, a little third-grader (I remember how scared of adults

I was at that age) and to realize that no help was coming... that must have

been devastating to you.

So far as I can recall, I don't think I have read one post by any member who has

shared that speaking with a school counselor actually helped them when they were

a child.

I think that the Child Protective Services system is broken. Even now, with the

whole " mandated reporter " thing in place, CPS is so understaffed, so

under-funded and so overwhelmed that only the very worst of the worst cases of

severe abuse and neglect are given any attention at all: the kids who are

riddled with venereal diseases because their parents sell them for drugs, the

kids who are locked in closets to starve to death in their own filth, or who are

discovered with every bone in their little bodies broken. It would seem that a

child has to be near death for CPS to actually do anything, if they are even

alerted.

It really is up to the non-pd parent (usually good old dishrag dad) or concerned

extended family members or even concerned neighbors to do something about

emotional abuse and sub-clinical physical abuse that the kids of mentally ill,

personality-disordered parents receive.

-Annie

>

> I've been working really hard lately to deal with PTSD, and one of the

symptoms I really have a problem with is dissociating and simply not remembering

things. It's always such a revelation when all the sudden I remember something

that explains so much.

>

> And today, I remembered something important and it made me upset.

>

> When we had just moved from Virginia to Wisconsin, my nada was angry. All the

time. She would lash out at anyone and everyone and was extremely volatile. The

emotional and verbal abuse become more violent and the beatings became more

frequent.

> After seeing her hurt my youngest brother, I got brave. I was in third grade

and I knew there was nothing I could do at home because I felt trapped and Dad

was no help as would usually side with Mom because he never knew what happened

when he wasn't around and when he was, he was so busy just trying to help her

pull her sh*t together for us that our emotional needs went to the back-burner.

> I went to the guidance counselor at school. I began simply by telling her I

didn't fit in at this new school and was being bullied (the fat kid with the

southern accent who likes math? It doesn't GET any easier than that for

bullies!). I said I liked my last school because it was a home and this one

wasn't. She asked me how I could make it more of a home and I told her that she

didn't understand. I needed a home here because I didn't have one at home. I

told her there was something wrong with my mom. I showed her a couple bruises.

>

> And she did nothing. Maybe it was too much work to get involved. Maybe she

didn't think she had a strong enough case or was waiting for me to come back

again or for my brother to speak up (youngest brother wasn't in kindergarten yet

and sister wasn't to begin preschool until next year).

> I'm realizing now that that school didn't just fail me in terms of my

education and helping me succeed, but they completely failed me when I came to

them as a child of abuse and asked for help. The guidance counselor simply told

me that my mom was under a lot of stress and to be a better daughter and help

out at home more and that things would get better.

>

> Thinking about this now, this is insane!! Isn't that what elementary school

guidance counselors are for???? I never had the guts to tell anyone else what

was going on, but I wish I had. I'm just horrified. To make matters worse, she

sent a note home to my mom asking if she was alright with the stress of the move

and inviting her to join their PTA to help her find a new circle of friends here

in a new town. I was in utter disbelief.

> So now I have to get past this resistance to go to T's or counseling because

I'm afraid of this. That it will do nothing.

> And Nada doesn't understand why I didn't like elementary school.

>

[Guest guest]

This is just so terrible -

I'm about to go crazy just thinking that there are kids out there, RIGHT NOW,

who are suffering - it really is terrifying. Which is why I'm so protective of

my kids.

It is up to people like you to change things. We cannot just sit and watch.

We must write. speak up. Lobby. Anything. But sit and watch. No.

N

> (((((CLFM))))))

> I'm so sorry that when you reached out for help, which must have been so, so

hard for you as a child, a little third-grader (I remember how scared of adults

I was at that age) and to realize that no help was coming... that must have been

devastating to you.

>

> So far as I can recall, I don't think I have read one post by any member who

has shared that speaking with a school counselor actually helped them when they

were a child.

>

> I think that the Child Protective Services system is broken. Even now, with

the whole " mandated reporter " thing in place, CPS is so understaffed, so

under-funded and so overwhelmed that only the very worst of the worst cases of

severe abuse and neglect are given any attention at all: the kids who are

riddled with venereal diseases because their parents sell them for drugs, the

kids who are locked in closets to starve to death in their own filth, or who are

discovered with every bone in their little bodies broken. It would seem that a

child has to be near death for CPS to actually do anything, if they are even

alerted.

>

> It really is up to the non-pd parent (usually good old dishrag dad) or

concerned extended family members or even concerned neighbors to do something

about emotional abuse and sub-clinical physical abuse that the kids of mentally

ill, personality-disordered parents receive.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > I've been working really hard lately to deal with PTSD, and one of the

symptoms I really have a problem with is dissociating and simply not remembering

things. It's always such a revelation when all the sudden I remember something

that explains so much.

> >

> > And today, I remembered something important and it made me upset.

> >

> > When we had just moved from Virginia to Wisconsin, my nada was angry. All

the time. She would lash out at anyone and everyone and was extremely volatile.

The emotional and verbal abuse become more violent and the beatings became more

frequent.

> > After seeing her hurt my youngest brother, I got brave. I was in third grade

and I knew there was nothing I could do at home because I felt trapped and Dad

was no help as would usually side with Mom because he never knew what happened

when he wasn't around and when he was, he was so busy just trying to help her

pull her sh*t together for us that our emotional needs went to the back-burner.

> > I went to the guidance counselor at school. I began simply by telling her I

didn't fit in at this new school and was being bullied (the fat kid with the

southern accent who likes math? It doesn't GET any easier than that for

bullies!). I said I liked my last school because it was a home and this one

wasn't. She asked me how I could make it more of a home and I told her that she

didn't understand. I needed a home here because I didn't have one at home. I

told her there was something wrong with my mom. I showed her a couple bruises.

> >

> > And she did nothing. Maybe it was too much work to get involved. Maybe she

didn't think she had a strong enough case or was waiting for me to come back

again or for my brother to speak up (youngest brother wasn't in kindergarten yet

and sister wasn't to begin preschool until next year).

> > I'm realizing now that that school didn't just fail me in terms of my

education and helping me succeed, but they completely failed me when I came to

them as a child of abuse and asked for help. The guidance counselor simply told

me that my mom was under a lot of stress and to be a better daughter and help

out at home more and that things would get better.

> >

> > Thinking about this now, this is insane!! Isn't that what elementary school

guidance counselors are for???? I never had the guts to tell anyone else what

was going on, but I wish I had. I'm just horrified. To make matters worse, she

sent a note home to my mom asking if she was alright with the stress of the move

and inviting her to join their PTA to help her find a new circle of friends here

in a new town. I was in utter disbelief.

> > So now I have to get past this resistance to go to T's or counseling because

I'm afraid of this. That it will do nothing.

> > And Nada doesn't understand why I didn't like elementary school.

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

OMG I'm so sorry. She really really really let you down.

U know, in jr high my guidance counselor was my fada's best friend. I

remember him calling me into his office and I had no idea what to say or do

I wonder what kind of stuff he saw in that office or what he knew or didn't

know. . . or noticed or didn't notice in my family.

Its so strange when completely blind people are in charge.

> This is just so terrible -

> I'm about to go crazy just thinking that there are kids out there, RIGHT

> NOW, who are suffering - it really is terrifying. Which is why I'm so

> protective of my kids.

> It is up to people like you to change things. We cannot just sit and

> watch.

> We must write. speak up. Lobby. Anything. But sit and watch. No.

>

> N

>

> at t

>

> > (((((CLFM))))))

> > I'm so sorry that when you reached out for help, which must have been so,

> so hard for you as a child, a little third-grader (I remember how scared of

> adults I was at that age) and to realize that no help was coming... that

> must have been devastating to you.

> >

> > So far as I can recall, I don't think I have read one post by any member

> who has shared that speaking with a school counselor actually helped them

> when they were a child.

> >

> > I think that the Child Protective Services system is broken. Even now,

> with the whole " mandated reporter " thing in place, CPS is so understaffed,

> so under-funded and so overwhelmed that only the very worst of the worst

> cases of severe abuse and neglect are given any attention at all: the kids

> who are riddled with venereal diseases because their parents sell them for

> drugs, the kids who are locked in closets to starve to death in their own

> filth, or who are discovered with every bone in their little bodies broken.

> It would seem that a child has to be near death for CPS to actually do

> anything, if they are even alerted.

> >

> > It really is up to the non-pd parent (usually good old dishrag dad) or

> concerned extended family members or even concerned neighbors to do

> something about emotional abuse and sub-clinical physical abuse that the

> kids of mentally ill, personality-disordered parents receive.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> > >

> > > I've been working really hard lately to deal with PTSD, and one of the

> symptoms I really have a problem with is dissociating and simply not

> remembering things. It's always such a revelation when all the sudden I

> remember something that explains so much.

> > >

> > > And today, I remembered something important and it made me upset.

> > >

> > > When we had just moved from Virginia to Wisconsin, my nada was angry.

> All the time. She would lash out at anyone and everyone and was extremely

> volatile. The emotional and verbal abuse become more violent and the

> beatings became more frequent.

> > > After seeing her hurt my youngest brother, I got brave. I was in third

> grade and I knew there was nothing I could do at home because I felt trapped

> and Dad was no help as would usually side with Mom because he never knew

> what happened when he wasn't around and when he was, he was so busy just

> trying to help her pull her sh*t together for us that our emotional needs

> went to the back-burner.

> > > I went to the guidance counselor at school. I began simply by telling

> her I didn't fit in at this new school and was being bullied (the fat kid

> with the southern accent who likes math? It doesn't GET any easier than that

> for bullies!). I said I liked my last school because it was a home and this

> one wasn't. She asked me how I could make it more of a home and I told her

> that she didn't understand. I needed a home here because I didn't have one

> at home. I told her there was something wrong with my mom. I showed her a

> couple bruises.

> > >

> > > And she did nothing. Maybe it was too much work to get involved. Maybe

> she didn't think she had a strong enough case or was waiting for me to come

> back again or for my brother to speak up (youngest brother wasn't in

> kindergarten yet and sister wasn't to begin preschool until next year).

> > > I'm realizing now that that school didn't just fail me in terms of my

> education and helping me succeed, but they completely failed me when I came

> to them as a child of abuse and asked for help. The guidance counselor

> simply told me that my mom was under a lot of stress and to be a better

> daughter and help out at home more and that things would get better.

> > >

> > > Thinking about this now, this is insane!! Isn't that what elementary

> school guidance counselors are for???? I never had the guts to tell anyone

> else what was going on, but I wish I had. I'm just horrified. To make

> matters worse, she sent a note home to my mom asking if she was alright with

> the stress of the move and inviting her to join their PTA to help her find a

> new circle of friends here in a new town. I was in utter disbelief.

> > > So now I have to get past this resistance to go to T's or counseling

> because I'm afraid of this. That it will do nothing.

> > > And Nada doesn't understand why I didn't like elementary school.

> > >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Reading this made me sooo mad. I had a favorite teacher I tried to talk to one

time and got the same, " Try to understand your mother, it's so hard to be a

parent, " bullshit. I went home feeling guilty and then even more guilty when I

got the same from an older cousin who lived a state away and had NO idea what

was really going on at home.

Back then a lot less was known about child abuse, I think. I can only hope

things are better now.

--.

[Guest guest]

>

> This is just so terrible -

> I'm about to go crazy just thinking that there are kids out there, RIGHT NOW,

who are suffering - it really is terrifying. Which is why I'm so protective of

my kids.

> It is up to people like you to change things. We cannot just sit and watch.

> We must write. speak up. Lobby. Anything. But sit and watch. No.

>

> N

Anybody want to write up their story and post it on a website? I have one I'm

trying to post stories like this on.

--.

[Guest guest]

I'd consider it - I hear that all the time. I can't promise right now

but I will def think about it. Do you want me to send it to you or just post

it?

> **

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > This is just so terrible -

> > I'm about to go crazy just thinking that there are kids out there, RIGHT

> NOW, who are suffering - it really is terrifying. Which is why I'm so

> protective of my kids.

> > It is up to people like you to change things. We cannot just sit and

> watch.

> > We must write. speak up. Lobby. Anything. But sit and watch. No.

> > uw an

> > N

>

> Anybody want to write up their story and post it on a website? I have one

> I'm trying to post stories like this on.

>

> --.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Feel free to email...

upstartLL8@...

Thanks!

--.