Hello!

March 15, 2012

Hi,

I signed up to the group earlier this week and the last few days of reading your

messages has been so eye-opening!! I haven't read any books yet but so much of

everything everyone has been saying really rings true. I feel so numb. It's odd.

I've found the group at the perfect time as it's mothers day on Sunday and I've

been really fretting about what to do. I am currently no contact with my mum and

have been for about a year now and also no/low contact with my grandmother as

well. I am entirely convinced that my mum has BPD and I don't miss her drama one

bit but I feel awful/sad/confused/guilty etc that I've lost her and that I've

lost my family as well. I'm a bit at a loss as to what to do about my

grandmother though, I'm not sure what her issue is, if she's BPD/NPD or just an

enabler. Also, she's 91 so I feel super bad about being no/low contact with her

because if she pops her clogs, I'll feel guilty forever!!

I hope I can talk to you guys about everything that's happened. It's taken me a

year of no contact to get to a stage where I can talk about it without crying

madly so I don't want to dredge it all up right now. But I do want to gain some

perspective on everything that's happened from people that get it (i.e, I'll

scream if another person says to me, 'but she's your mum!!!!' gah!!!)

My mum and granny pretty much raised me and my sisters after my parents divorce

so when I speak of my parents I mean the two of them.I have no contact with my

dad either. I hope it's ok to talk about them here. They cause as much grief as

each other.

Thanks for reading!

Best,

HippoDish

xx

March 15, 2012

Welcome!

On Thu, Mar 15, 2012 at 5:53 PM, hippodish wrote:

> **

>

> Hi,

>

> I signed up to the group earlier this week and the last few days of

> reading your messages has been so eye-opening!! I haven't read any books

> yet but so much of everything everyone has been saying really rings true. I

> feel so numb. It's odd.

>

> I've found the group at the perfect time as it's mothers day on Sunday and

> I've been really fretting about what to do. I am currently no contact with

> my mum and have been for about a year now and also no/low contact with my

> grandmother as well. I am entirely convinced that my mum has BPD and I

> don't miss her drama one bit but I feel awful/sad/confused/guilty etc that

> I've lost her and that I've lost my family as well. I'm a bit at a loss as

> to what to do about my grandmother though, I'm not sure what her issue is,

> if she's BPD/NPD or just an enabler. Also, she's 91 so I feel super bad

> about being no/low contact with her because if she pops her clogs, I'll

> feel guilty forever!!

>

> I hope I can talk to you guys about everything that's happened. It's taken

> me a year of no contact to get to a stage where I can talk about it without

> crying madly so I don't want to dredge it all up right now. But I do want

> to gain some perspective on everything that's happened from people that get

> it (i.e, I'll scream if another person says to me, 'but she's your mum!!!!'

> gah!!!)

>

> My mum and granny pretty much raised me and my sisters after my parents

> divorce so when I speak of my parents I mean the two of them.I have no

> contact with my dad either. I hope it's ok to talk about them here. They

> cause as much grief as each other.

>

> Thanks for reading!

>

> Best,

>

> HippoDish

>

> xx

>

March 16, 2012

talk about whatever you want. we all do. we have all kinds of crappy

side-effects of growing up in our distorted " perfect " families.

this group has helped me through so much the last few months. I hope you find

hope in recognizing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have really far to go myself...

people here are really smart.

and as far as your G-ma goes, just make the decision on what to do about her

based on your relationship with her and nothing else.

I tend to let my Nada (not a mother) muddy most relationships.

if G-ma is not safe emotionally for you, consider that. you are important, and

don't have to do things out of F.O.G. (fear, obligation and guilt.)

Meikjn

>

> > **

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I signed up to the group earlier this week and the last few days of

> > reading your messages has been so eye-opening!! I haven't read any books

> > yet but so much of everything everyone has been saying really rings true. I

> > feel so numb. It's odd.

> >

> > I've found the group at the perfect time as it's mothers day on Sunday and

> > I've been really fretting about what to do. I am currently no contact with

> > my mum and have been for about a year now and also no/low contact with my

> > grandmother as well. I am entirely convinced that my mum has BPD and I

> > don't miss her drama one bit but I feel awful/sad/confused/guilty etc that

> > I've lost her and that I've lost my family as well. I'm a bit at a loss as

> > to what to do about my grandmother though, I'm not sure what her issue is,

> > if she's BPD/NPD or just an enabler. Also, she's 91 so I feel super bad

> > about being no/low contact with her because if she pops her clogs, I'll

> > feel guilty forever!!

> >

> > I hope I can talk to you guys about everything that's happened. It's taken

> > me a year of no contact to get to a stage where I can talk about it without

> > crying madly so I don't want to dredge it all up right now. But I do want

> > to gain some perspective on everything that's happened from people that get

> > it (i.e, I'll scream if another person says to me, 'but she's your mum!!!!'

> > gah!!!)

> >

> > My mum and granny pretty much raised me and my sisters after my parents

> > divorce so when I speak of my parents I mean the two of them.I have no

> > contact with my dad either. I hope it's ok to talk about them here. They

> > cause as much grief as each other.

> >

> > Thanks for reading!

> >

> > Best,

> >

> > HippoDish

> >

> > xx

> >

>

March 16, 2012

Welcome to the Group, Hippodish.

Don't worry: this is one of the few places you'll find where nobody will say

" But she's your MOTHHEERRRR...! " . Your fellow adult children of borderline pd

parents have endured similarly abusive, bizarre behaviors from our own mothers

or fathers, so, we get it.

This is a safe place to share, to vent, to give and receive validation, personal

insights, and hope for healing and peace.

So, take it at your own pace, your own comfort level. Don't feel compelled to

share something you're not ready to share. And when you're ready, I hope you

will begin reading about bpd. There is something about reading that borderline

pd is indeed a genuine and severe mental illness that somehow takes at least

some of the pain away.

Some of the guilt, and fear, and feelings of obligation (FOG) were lifted from

me when I finally realized that I didn't cause my mother to act the way she did

or treat me the way she did. It wasn't me, and it wasn't my fault; instead, my

mother had a genuine and severe mental disorder.

best wishes to you,

-Annie

>

> Hi,

>

> I signed up to the group earlier this week and the last few days of reading

your messages has been so eye-opening!! I haven't read any books yet but so much

of everything everyone has been saying really rings true. I feel so numb. It's

odd.

>

> I've found the group at the perfect time as it's mothers day on Sunday and

I've been really fretting about what to do. I am currently no contact with my

mum and have been for about a year now and also no/low contact with my

grandmother as well. I am entirely convinced that my mum has BPD and I don't

miss her drama one bit but I feel awful/sad/confused/guilty etc that I've lost

her and that I've lost my family as well. I'm a bit at a loss as to what to do

about my grandmother though, I'm not sure what her issue is, if she's BPD/NPD or

just an enabler. Also, she's 91 so I feel super bad about being no/low contact

with her because if she pops her clogs, I'll feel guilty forever!!

>

> I hope I can talk to you guys about everything that's happened. It's taken me

a year of no contact to get to a stage where I can talk about it without crying

madly so I don't want to dredge it all up right now. But I do want to gain some

perspective on everything that's happened from people that get it (i.e, I'll

scream if another person says to me, 'but she's your mum!!!!' gah!!!)

>

> My mum and granny pretty much raised me and my sisters after my parents

divorce so when I speak of my parents I mean the two of them.I have no contact

with my dad either. I hope it's ok to talk about them here. They cause as much

grief as each other.

>

> Thanks for reading!

>

> Best,

>

> HippoDish

>

> xx

>

March 16, 2012

Welcome to the forum. Like you, at first I spent more time reading some of the

posts to see if I even fit in. Then I started to share, a bit here and there,

asking questions. Now I don't know what I would do without the understanding and

support of this group. And trust me - you won't hear " but she's you're mother! "

LOL Not all mums are created equal.