Guest guest Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems there is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning of June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - discouraged I'll admit to but not depressed. So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel that way. And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so from a place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack yesterday about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm monday and from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time without asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with the entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I need to work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. Thank you, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 i feel like I could give advice but only from the standpoint of I am not one of the people who is able to do this, so it makes me feel hypocritical. Some people believe 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' so maybe it's just a thing of it being your time to really dig in your heels and fight for your boundaries and this is just practice. But anyway, the technique I admire so much is the people that go half deaf and half mute when faced with a situation like this. Alot of asking the adversary to repeat themselves. Alot of then repeating the statement back to the adversary and saying 'so, if I'm hearing you right, you're saying.... " . Alot of taking a very long time to respond if they respond at all. So that the other person gets sick of grinding their wheels in the dirt and runs for the hills. Everything is said in a very civilized, even saccharine, tone of voice, after a very long delay, to consider the points being made. I have several female relatives who can do this like an art form, because they have worked for the phone company for decades. They make me sick...I am way too verbose and way overthink what I am going to say and try to fight the battles with logic and asserting my logical arguments and so on and so forth whereas I am really intrigued by watching people who can get the point across that they 'will not be moved' without ever stating it in words. It's almost like the minute confrontation hits, they have fallen in to a vat of honey, and everything slowwwwwwwwwwws down, and they get very polite and really draw out the discussion without ever conceding their position, so that the person doesn't get their way but they don't get pissed off either. (I can't do this...maybe someday). > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems there > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning of > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - discouraged I'll > admit to but not depressed. > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel that > way. > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so from a > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack yesterday > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm monday and > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time without > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with the > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I need to > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. > > Thank you, > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 *HUGS* GS. Sorry you're having a rough time & feeling " hexed " . I understand what you mean though about so many people feeling entitled.... that's how baby mamma is, how my nada was and I see a lot of it at school and most of the time it gets under my skin big time. Girls in the program who get offended that the head of nursing program tells them to dye their hair (because their hair is pink) and they throw a little entitlement fit about it and threaten to drop out. Ok, drop out. But any good nursing school is going to have STANDARDS for it's student nurses. Sheesh. Anyway, As for dealing with people like that, it is so very hard! You do have a right to your personal time and if this person knows what your schedule is, then you have to try & say " no " and put up some boundaries. If you signed a contract, refer him/her to the contract that states the hours/time frame you have to work on the project, etc. And llel said, might not be a bad idea to do the whole, " If I'm hearing you right you're saying...... " and keep repeating it back to them and keep putting up your boundaries & referring him/her to the contract, etc. What is it with people and this air of entitlement so many seem to have? Yeesh. Mia > > > i feel like I could give advice but only from the standpoint of I am not > one of the people who is able to do this, so it makes me feel hypocritical. > Some people believe 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' so maybe > it's just a thing of it being your time to really dig in your heels and > fight for your boundaries and this is just practice. > > But anyway, the technique I admire so much is the people that go half deaf > and half mute when faced with a situation like this. Alot of asking the > adversary to repeat themselves. Alot of then repeating the statement back to > the adversary and saying 'so, if I'm hearing you right, you're saying.... " . > Alot of taking a very long time to respond if they respond at all. So that > the other person gets sick of grinding their wheels in the dirt and runs for > the hills. Everything is said in a very civilized, even saccharine, tone of > voice, after a very long delay, to consider the points being made. I have > several female relatives who can do this like an art form, because they have > worked for the phone company for decades. They make me sick...I am way too > verbose and way overthink what I am going to say and try to fight the > battles with logic and asserting my logical arguments and so on and so forth > whereas I am really intrigued by watching people who can get the point > across that they 'will not be moved' without ever stating it in words. It's > almost like the minute confrontation hits, they have fallen in to a vat of > honey, and everything slowwwwwwwwwwws down, and they get very polite and > really draw out the discussion without ever conceding their position, so > that the person doesn't get their way but they don't get pissed off either. > > (I can't do this...maybe someday). > > > > > > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems > there > > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning of > > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - discouraged > I'll > > admit to but not depressed. > > > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel > that > > way. > > > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so > from a > > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack > yesterday > > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm monday > and > > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time without > > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with the > > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I need > to > > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Great ideas - I've tried that before - the slow talking. It is a lot harder to do it when it is a surprise attack. . . UGH And I did it at work about 4.5 years ago and my coworkers started saying I had brain damage behind my back. . . but they are the ones with brain damage and I knew it! > *HUGS* GS. Sorry you're having a rough time & feeling " hexed " . I > understand > what you mean though about so many people feeling entitled.... that's how > baby mamma is, how my nada was and I see a lot of it at school and most of > the time it gets under my skin big time. Girls in the program who get > offended that the head of nursing program tells them to dye their hair > (because their hair is pink) and they throw a little entitlement fit about > it and threaten to drop out. Ok, drop out. But any good nursing school is > going to have STANDARDS for it's student nurses. Sheesh. > > Anyway, As for dealing with people like that, it is so very hard! You do > have a right to your personal time and if this person knows what youring > schedule is, then you have to try & say " no " and put up some boundaries. > If > you signed a contract, refer him/her to the contract that states the > hours/time frame you have to work on the project, etc. And llel said, might > not be a bad idea to do the whole, " If I'm hearing you right you're > saying...... " and keep repeating it back to them and keep putting up your > boundaries & referring him/her to the contract, etc. > > What is it with people and this air of entitlement so many seem to have? > Yeesh. > > Mia > > > > > > > > > i feel like I could give advice but only from the standpoint of I am not > > one of the people who is able to do this, so it makes me feel > hypocritical. > > Some people believe 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' so > maybe > > it's just a thing of it being your time to really dig in your heels and > > fight for your boundaries and this is just practice. > > > > But anyway, the technique I admire so much is the people that go half > deaf > > and half mute when faced with a situation like this. Alot of asking the > > adversary to repeat themselves. Alot of then repeating the statement back > to > > the adversary and saying 'so, if I'm hearing you right, you're > saying.... " . > > Alot of taking a very long time to respond if they respond at all. So > that > > the other person gets sick of grinding their wheels in the dirt and runs > for > > the hills. Everything is said in a very civilized, even saccharine, tone > of > > voice, after a very long delay, to consider the points being made. I have > > several female relatives who can do this like an art form, because they > have > > worked for the phone company for decades. They make me sick...I am way > too > > verbose and way overthink what I am going to say and try to fight the > > battles with logic and asserting my logical arguments and so on and so > forth > > whereas I am really intrigued by watching people who can get the point > > across that they 'will not be moved' without ever stating it in words. > It's > > almost like the minute confrontation hits, they have fallen in to a vat > of > > honey, and everything slowwwwwwwwwwws down, and they get very polite and > > really draw out the discussion without ever conceding their position, so > > that the person doesn't get their way but they don't get pissed off > either. > > > > (I can't do this...maybe someday). > > > > > > > > > > > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems > > there > > > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning > of > > > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - discouraged > > I'll > > > admit to but not depressed. > > > > > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel > > that > > > way. > > > > > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so > > from a > > > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack > > yesterday > > > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm > monday > > and > > > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time without > > > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > > > > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with > the > > > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I need > > to > > > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 wow....I would so love to be able to do that > > > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems there > > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning of > > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - discouraged I'll > > admit to but not depressed. > > > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel that > > way. > > > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so from a > > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack yesterday > > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm monday and > > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time without > > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with the > > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I need to > > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Isn't that the truth, GS. I've been noticing there seems to be a plague of people with this air of entitlement lately. What on earth is up with that? Not saying they're all BPD, not by a long shot. But there seems to be a horrible plague of it around me lately... people at school, fiance's ex wife (who is likely uBPD). Sometimes I feel like the only adult in the room/world! So I keep my mouth shut & just listen/observe... then I know who is " safe " and who isn't. Though I did ask one girl to stop badmouthing someone else because she was making me uncomfortable. I was polite about it, but I have a hunch that now I'm being badmouthed... but I don't care lol. People should just keep their forked tongues behind their teeth. Mia On Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 9:11 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@... > wrote: > > > Great ideas - I've tried that before - the slow talking. It is a lot harder > to do it when it is a surprise attack. . . UGH And I did it at work about > 4.5 years ago and my coworkers started saying I had brain damage behind my > back. . . but they are the ones with brain damage and I knew it! > > > > > > *HUGS* GS. Sorry you're having a rough time & feeling " hexed " . I > > understand > > what you mean though about so many people feeling entitled.... that's how > > baby mamma is, how my nada was and I see a lot of it at school and most > of > > the time it gets under my skin big time. Girls in the program who get > > offended that the head of nursing program tells them to dye their hair > > (because their hair is pink) and they throw a little entitlement fit > about > > it and threaten to drop out. Ok, drop out. But any good nursing school is > > going to have STANDARDS for it's student nurses. Sheesh. > > > > Anyway, As for dealing with people like that, it is so very hard! You do > > have a right to your personal time and if this person knows what youring > > > schedule is, then you have to try & say " no " and put up some boundaries. > > If > > you signed a contract, refer him/her to the contract that states the > > hours/time frame you have to work on the project, etc. And llel said, > might > > not be a bad idea to do the whole, " If I'm hearing you right you're > > saying...... " and keep repeating it back to them and keep putting up your > > boundaries & referring him/her to the contract, etc. > > > > What is it with people and this air of entitlement so many seem to have? > > Yeesh. > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i feel like I could give advice but only from the standpoint of I am > not > > > one of the people who is able to do this, so it makes me feel > > hypocritical. > > > Some people believe 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' so > > maybe > > > it's just a thing of it being your time to really dig in your heels and > > > fight for your boundaries and this is just practice. > > > > > > But anyway, the technique I admire so much is the people that go half > > deaf > > > and half mute when faced with a situation like this. Alot of asking the > > > adversary to repeat themselves. Alot of then repeating the statement > back > > to > > > the adversary and saying 'so, if I'm hearing you right, you're > > saying.... " . > > > Alot of taking a very long time to respond if they respond at all. So > > that > > > the other person gets sick of grinding their wheels in the dirt and > runs > > for > > > the hills. Everything is said in a very civilized, even saccharine, > tone > > of > > > voice, after a very long delay, to consider the points being made. I > have > > > several female relatives who can do this like an art form, because they > > have > > > worked for the phone company for decades. They make me sick...I am way > > too > > > verbose and way overthink what I am going to say and try to fight the > > > battles with logic and asserting my logical arguments and so on and so > > forth > > > whereas I am really intrigued by watching people who can get the point > > > across that they 'will not be moved' without ever stating it in words. > > It's > > > almost like the minute confrontation hits, they have fallen in to a vat > > of > > > honey, and everything slowwwwwwwwwwws down, and they get very polite > and > > > really draw out the discussion without ever conceding their position, > so > > > that the person doesn't get their way but they don't get pissed off > > either. > > > > > > (I can't do this...maybe someday). > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it seems > > > there > > > > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the beginning > > of > > > > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - > discouraged > > > I'll > > > > admit to but not depressed. > > > > > > > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i feel > > > that > > > > way. > > > > > > > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done so > > > from a > > > > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack > > > yesterday > > > > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm > > monday > > > and > > > > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time > without > > > > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > > > > > > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal with > > the > > > > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I > need > > > to > > > > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe people. > > > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Oh yeah there is def something going on with me and the entitlement thing. I gave a dancer I know a chance to model in a magazine today (unpaid) and she flipped out. She begged me for a hair and makeup appt and I asked a friend to help her. THen she sort of stood up the friend who was doing me a favor! Then she asked me to call someone else!! Then she ordered me to go buy her some makeup and pay for it myself!!!! And then I fired her. . . But the whole time I just was thinking here it is, another entitled person treating me like I owe them (and actually she owed me) and I wasn't even really mad I was just thinking about the issue as a whole. Any thoughts? Anyone shocked by the gall? I told her flat out it was unpaid, bring your own hair and make up and she tried to work me to buy her makeup and get her a pro hair do. So weird. I do shoots like this all the time . . . > Isn't that the truth, GS. I've been noticing there seems to be a plague of > people with this air of entitlement lately. What on earth is up with that? > > Not saying they're all BPD, not by a long shot. But there seems to be a > horrible plague of it around me lately... people at school, fiance's ex > wife > (who is likely uBPD). Sometimes I feel like the only adult in the > room/world! > > So I keep my mouth shut & just listen/observe... then I know who is " safe " > and who isn't. Though I did ask one girl to stop badmouthing someone else > because she was making me uncomfortable. I was polite about it, but I have > a hunch that now I'm being badmouthed... but I don't care lol.ah > > People should just keep their forked tongues behind their teeth. > > Mia > > On Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 9:11 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < > girlscout.cowboy@... > > wrote: > > > > > > > Great ideas - I've tried that before - the slow talking. It is a lot > harder > > to do it when it is a surprise attack. . . UGH And I did it at work about > > 4.5 years ago and my coworkers started saying I had brain damage behind > my > > back. . . but they are the ones with brain damage and I knew it! > > > > > > > > > > > *HUGS* GS. Sorry you're having a rough time & feeling " hexed " . I > > > understand > > > what you mean though about so many people feeling entitled.... that's > how > > > baby mamma is, how my nada was and I see a lot of it at school and most > > of > > > the time it gets under my skin big time. Girls in the program who get > > > offended that the head of nursing program tells them to dye their hair > > > (because their hair is pink) and they throw a little entitlement fit > > about > > > it and threaten to drop out. Ok, drop out. But any good nursing school > is > > > going to have STANDARDS for it's student nurses. Sheesh. > > > > > > Anyway, As for dealing with people like that, it is so very hard! You > do > > > have a right to your personal time and if this person knows what > youring > > > > > schedule is, then you have to try & say " no " and put up some > boundaries. > > > If > > > you signed a contract, refer him/her to the contract that states the > > > hours/time frame you have to work on the project, etc. And llel said, > > might > > > not be a bad idea to do the whole, " If I'm hearing you right you're > > > saying...... " and keep repeating it back to them and keep putting up > your > > > boundaries & referring him/her to the contract, etc. > > > > > > What is it with people and this air of entitlement so many seem to > have? > > > Yeesh. > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i feel like I could give advice but only from the standpoint of I am > > not > > > > one of the people who is able to do this, so it makes me feel > > > hypocritical. > > > > Some people believe 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' > so > > > maybe > > > > it's just a thing of it being your time to really dig in your heels > and > > > > fight for your boundaries and this is just practice. > > > > > > > > But anyway, the technique I admire so much is the people that go half > > > deaf > > > > and half mute when faced with a situation like this. Alot of asking > the > > > > adversary to repeat themselves. Alot of then repeating the statement > > back > > > to > > > > the adversary and saying 'so, if I'm hearing you right, you're > > > saying.... " . > > > > Alot of taking a very long time to respond if they respond at all. So > > > that > > > > the other person gets sick of grinding their wheels in the dirt and > > runs > > > for > > > > the hills. Everything is said in a very civilized, even saccharine, > > tone > > > of > > > > voice, after a very long delay, to consider the points being made. I > > have > > > > several female relatives who can do this like an art form, because > they > > > have > > > > worked for the phone company for decades. They make me sick...I am > way > > > too > > > > verbose and way overthink what I am going to say and try to fight the > > > > battles with logic and asserting my logical arguments and so on and > so > > > forth > > > > whereas I am really intrigued by watching people who can get the > point > > > > across that they 'will not be moved' without ever stating it in > words. > > > It's > > > > almost like the minute confrontation hits, they have fallen in to a > vat > > > of > > > > honey, and everything slowwwwwwwwwwws down, and they get very polite > > and > > > > really draw out the discussion without ever conceding their position, > > so > > > > that the person doesn't get their way but they don't get pissed off > > > either. > > > > > > > > (I can't do this...maybe someday). > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I saw my T today. I talked to her about how everytime I turn it > seems > > > > there > > > > > is someone attacking me. I've had really bad luck since the > beginning > > > of > > > > > June. But I'm pleased because I have not become depressed - > > discouraged > > > > I'll > > > > > admit to but not depressed. > > > > > > > > > > So she said that it almost seems like I am hexed. I'm like YES i > feel > > > > that > > > > > way. > > > > > > > > > > And she said that every single person who has attacked me has done > so > > > > from a > > > > > place of entitlement - as though I owe them something (new attack > > > > yesterday > > > > > about 6 pm a client informed me that I was working from 5 to 6 pm > > > monday > > > > and > > > > > from 7 to 8 pm. I said no that she can't book my personal time > > without > > > > > asking me and she fought me for 40 freaking min!!!!) > > > > > > > > > > So my question is 1) how do I get unhexed? and 2) how do I deal > with > > > the > > > > > entitlement attacks? I feel like its a new issue presenting that I > > need > > > > to > > > > > work through, like I did with my self image and with my safe > people. > > > > > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 Annie, I did not know you knew my mother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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