did you wish you were adopted?

[Guest guest]

I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted or at

the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this mystery father

out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as young as

kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some Terrible Mistake.

Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often wondered what this meant

- did it mean my childhood really sucked (likely...) or do many kids imagine

different families?

Eliza

[Guest guest]

I had a daydream that I always used when I felt really alone especially after my

Mom would hurt me- physically or mentally.

The doorbell would ring and I would run to the door and a woman would be there

and she would say " I finally found you! I am your real Mom! " and we would hug

and cry and she would carry me away and I would never have to live with my Evil

Mom ever again. She would love me unconditionally, she would understand me and

we wouldn't have to move all the time. She would give me real hugs and be

pleasant to people all around us. I really wished this would have come true. I

can't even tell you how bad I wished this would come true. It will never come

true. It makes me sad to this day. 

Now, I have twins. Boy and Girl. I am so fortunate to have a daughter(and a son

too, of course!), because I still have a chance to have a great Mother/Daughter

relationship. I will be that Mom I wished for to my kids, and have that

relationship I longed for, just the other way around! 

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 11:58 PM

Subject: did you wish you were adopted?

 

I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted or at

the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this mystery father

out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as young as

kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some Terrible Mistake.

Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often wondered what this meant

- did it mean my childhood really sucked (likely...) or do many kids imagine

different families?

Eliza

[Guest guest]

I used to *wish* I was adopted and maybe had real parents somewhere else, and I

could run away and find them; but I knew it wasn't even remotely possible

because I look 60% like nada and 40% like dad, while Sister is more like 60% dad

(or, dad's mom, really) and 40% nada.

(((sigh)))

-Annie

>

> I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted or at

the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this mystery father

out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as young as

kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some Terrible Mistake.

Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often wondered what this meant

- did it mean my childhood really sucked (likely...) or do many kids imagine

different families?

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

I knew for sure I was my father's daughter, I look just like him only in girl

form. I used to fantisize that he would leave nada and we would go far away. He

was stationed in Germany before he met nada and I would usually think we should

go there. I think I felt like acroos the entire ocean might be far enough that

she wouldn't be able to get me back. That was back when divorced fathers were

expected to quietly disappear to make it easier on their children! WTH?!?!

>

> I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted or at

the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this mystery father

out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as young as

kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some Terrible Mistake.

Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often wondered what this meant

- did it mean my childhood really sucked (likely...) or do many kids imagine

different families?

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Yes--and even though we all have the same sort of face and facial

expressions in the family, and even though there's baby pics of my tired

looking mom holding me in the hospital bed.

I was wondering if I was adopted because nobody else in the family as far

back and as far wide as we know was deaf--so how the heck did I get those

genes? It wasn't until my deaf little brother was born that I realized,

okay, I'm not adopted.

Mostly, instead of wishing for a real mother and a real father to show up

and whisk us away, I would wish I could move out and adopt my little

siblings and we could all live together happily. I still wish that even

though I'm NC.

Or sometimes I would wonder " what if fada died? " Not as a " I wish he was

dead " mind you, but what if? then my mom might break free of his bullshit

and then I could take the little ones and support them.

On Fri, Mar 16, 2012 at 11:58 PM, eliza92@... <

eliza92@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted

> or at the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this

> mystery father out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as

> young as kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some

> Terrible Mistake. Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often

> wondered what this meant - did it mean my childhood really sucked

> (likely...) or do many kids imagine different families?

>

> Eliza

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I used to wish my parents would divorce and I would get a really cool stepmom

who would be fun and outgoing and take me skiing and teach me to live an awesome

life. I actually always was attaching myself to older female teachers, coaches,

mentors, much to nada's ire. Sigh.

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted

> > or at the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this

> > mystery father out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as

> > young as kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some

> > Terrible Mistake. Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often

> > wondered what this meant - did it mean my childhood really sucked

> > (likely...) or do many kids imagine different families?

> >

> > Eliza

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes! I've noticed others of us who also say, we shouldn't have been born, or

Nada or Fada never should have had kids. I said that once to my mother-in-law

and even though she was in early stage of Altzheimers she stopped me dead in my

tracks, " Don't say that ever again, then my son wouldn't have had you all these

years and my grandson's wouldn't have been born.

My mother died before I was 3, Fada was a Fada, but God gave me the most

wonderful mother-in-law to make up for it. Look for the little things that may

add up and if not make up for then Nadas and Fadas at least reduce their impact

and control.

>

> I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted or at

the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this mystery father

out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as young as

kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some Terrible Mistake.

Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often wondered what this meant

- did it mean my childhood really sucked (likely...) or do many kids imagine

different families?

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Yes! I could not wait for them to divorce! I always wished that a super nice

family would see me in the street and want to take me home with them. I remember

carrying around my jean jacket all the time bc I wanted to take it with me just

in case it happened. I was always attaching myself to older women, I had some

great teachers and had better relationships with them than I had with my nada (I

do like this term)

Best,

xx

To: WTOAdultChildren1

From: elmtree_speaks@...

Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 02:35:22 +0000

Subject: Re: did you wish you were adopted?

I used to wish my parents would divorce and I would get a really cool

stepmom who would be fun and outgoing and take me skiing and teach me to live an

awesome life. I actually always was attaching myself to older female teachers,

coaches, mentors, much to nada's ire. Sigh.

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I wonder how many of you as kids strongly believed that you were adopted

> > or at the very least your mother cheated on your father so you had this

> > mystery father out there? This was a strong wish for me as a kid even as

> > young as kindergarten...I always felt like there Must Have Been Some

> > Terrible Mistake. Perhaps a baby switcheroo at the hospital. I've often

> > wondered what this meant - did it mean my childhood really sucked

> > (likely...) or do many kids imagine different families?

> >

> > Eliza

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My sister constantly thought she was adopted. Even bringing it up when she was

in her 20's. She would say that she was sure that I wasn't adopted since I

looked just like my fada. But lucky her! For sure she must have been born to

someone else while I was not.

There was no way she wasn't biologically our parents, besides she ended up with

BPD just like Nada and A.D.D. just like fada.

Sue