Update RE my nada's situation

[Guest guest]

Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's symptoms

are improving rather dramatically.

Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems to be so

paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of weeks, has

regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more her old,

quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories haven't come back

fully.

My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the anti-psychotic

meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was supposed to be

taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her hallucinations and

acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now that nada is living

in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence, she has a nurse who

hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et voila! Remarkable

improvement. Surprise, surprise.

Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a whole hell

of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its just that nada

is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others, she had

fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can remember (she'd

accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or did). She's always

switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She has always acted out

with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it didn't take much stress to

trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her. Disagreeing with her about the

temperature could trigger her.) She had a history of violent physical attacks

on Sister and me, particularly when we were kids/teens. So, none of that is

new, that's just bpd. Its just that now other people are seeing it, not just

Sister and me.

Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe memory loss,

temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer disordered behaviors

that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these seem to be improving now

through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we visit our

nada.

I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach over it

either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't really hurt

me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her (although I'd rather

feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

Anyway. That's my update.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

It takes a big woman to beat up a little kid half her size. It sounds like

your nada, like most BPDs targeted people who were weaker, smaller, less

powerful. And that not only makes her BPD, that makes her a bitch.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this Annie, I know most of us grow old

in one way or another, I just wish your nada had the grace to grow old

without causing you more suffering.

HUGS

On Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 5:19 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's

> symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

>

> Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems to

> be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of weeks,

> has regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more her old,

> quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories haven't come

> back fully.

>

> My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

> anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

> supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

> hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

> that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence,

> she has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et

> voila! Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

>

> Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a whole

> hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its just

> that nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

>

> Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others, she

> had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can remember

> (she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or did).

> She's always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She has

> always acted out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it didn't

> take much stress to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her.

> Disagreeing with her about the temperature could trigger her.) She had a

> history of violent physical attacks on Sister and me, particularly when we

> were kids/teens. So, none of that is new, that's just bpd. Its just that now

> other people are seeing it, not just Sister and me.

>

> Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe memory

> loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer disordered

> behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these seem to be

> improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

>

> I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we visit

> our nada.

>

> I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach over

> it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't really

> hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her (although I'd

> rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

>

> Anyway. That's my update.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, I'm really glad her condition has improved and under control, and that

she's staying in the facility; it sounds like she needs that kind of care.

Your plan to visit her with your sister in the fall is a good one. Better than

going it alone anytime.

>

> Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's symptoms

are improving rather dramatically.

>

> Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems to be

so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of weeks, has

regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more her old,

quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories haven't come back

fully.

>

> My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence, she

has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et voila!

Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

>

> Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a whole hell

of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its just that nada

is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

>

> Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others, she had

fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can remember (she'd

accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or did). She's always

switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She has always acted out

with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it didn't take much stress to

trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her. Disagreeing with her about the

temperature could trigger her.) She had a history of violent physical attacks

on Sister and me, particularly when we were kids/teens. So, none of that is

new, that's just bpd. Its just that now other people are seeing it, not just

Sister and me.

>

> Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe memory

loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer disordered

behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these seem to be

improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

>

> I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we visit our

nada.

>

> I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach over it

either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't really hurt

me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her (although I'd rather

feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

>

> Anyway. That's my update.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. Even before the Alzheimer's symptoms started, I'd determined that I

would never, ever visit my nada alone again. I did not want to be accused of

hurting her or stealing from her during a visit; she was starting to become more

paranoid and retaliatory even back a few years ago. My nada has always shown a

streak of revenge behavior. If she felt I'd disrespected her in some way, she

wanted to get me back for it, usually " in kind. " Very creepy, to know that

your own mother might be just waiting, biding her time to spring some

retaliatory act on you.

A few years ago, nada at one point fell in her own apartment one evening and

broke her forearm/wrist. Nada didn't call Sister to tell her until the

following morning, claiming that Sister was mean and cold to her and forbade her

to ever call her at night. The truth is that Sister had always said " You can

call me anytime if its an emergency; but otherwise don't call me at night

because my son has a hard schedule to keep between working and college and he

needs his sleep. " But my nada felt the need to make Sister look like a bad

daughter, and complained about Sister not coming to help her until that morning,

to the doctors when Sister came to take nada to get her arm taken care of.

Its just truly a human tragedy, this mental illness. I just don't even have the

words right now to express the depth of the misery it causes, both in the person

who has it and in the helpless little human beings that those with bpd impact.

Human beings should not have to have personality disorders, its just wrong. It

makes people truly mean, hateful, and even if you will, " demonic. "

I hate this disorder. I hate what it does to people. It eats away at their

humanity.

-Annie

> >

> > Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's

symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

> >

> > Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems to

be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of weeks, has

regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more her old,

quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories haven't come back

fully.

> >

> > My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence, she

has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et voila!

Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

> >

> > Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a whole

hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its just that

nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

> >

> > Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others, she

had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can remember

(she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or did). She's

always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She has always acted

out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it didn't take much stress

to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her. Disagreeing with her about the

temperature could trigger her.) She had a history of violent physical attacks

on Sister and me, particularly when we were kids/teens. So, none of that is

new, that's just bpd. Its just that now other people are seeing it, not just

Sister and me.

> >

> > Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe memory

loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer disordered

behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these seem to be

improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

> >

> > I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we visit

our nada.

> >

> > I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach over

it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't really

hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her (although I'd

rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

> >

> > Anyway. That's my update.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

annie sometimes i wonder how to define humanity, is it the average person

who strikes out of jealousy? or is it the person who rises above the base

instincts? and at what point do u stop your humanity to avoid being taken

advantage of... i guess id define humanity the way they define porn, i know

it when i see it

>

>

> Thanks. Even before the Alzheimer's symptoms started, I'd determined that

I would never, ever visit my nada alone again. I did not want to be accused

of hurting her or stealing from her during a visit; she was starting to

become more paranoid and retaliatory even back a few years ago. My nada has

always shown a streak of revenge behavior. If she felt I'd disrespected her

in some way, she wanted to get me back for it, usually " in kind. " Very

creepy, to know that your own mother might be just waiting, biding her time

to spring some retaliatory act on you.

>

> A few years ago, nada at one point fell in her own apartment one evening

and broke her forearm/wrist. Nada didn't call Sister to tell her until the

following morning, claiming that Sister was mean and cold to her and forbade

her to ever call her at night. The truth is that Sister had always said " You

can call me anytime if its an emergency; but otherwise don't call me at

night because my son has a hard schedule to keep between working and college

and he needs his sleep. " But my nada felt the need to make Sister look like

a bad daughter, and complained about Sister not coming to help her until

that morning, to the doctors when Sister came to take nada to get her arm

taken care of.

>

> Its just truly a human tragedy, this mental illness. I just don't even

have the words right now to express the depth of the misery it causes, both

in the person who has it and in the helpless little human beings that those

with bpd impact. Human beings should not have to have personality disorders,

its just wrong. It makes people truly mean, hateful, and even if you will,

" demonic. "

>

> I hate this disorder. I hate what it does to people. It eats away at their

humanity.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>> >

>> > Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's

symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

>> >

>> > Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems

to be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of

weeks, has regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more

her old, quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories

haven't come back fully.

>> >

>> > My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence,

she has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et

voila! Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

>> >

>> > Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a

whole hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its

just that nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

>> >

>> > Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others,

she had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can

remember (she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or

did). She's always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She

has always acted out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it

didn't take much stress to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her.

Disagreeing with her about the temperature could trigger her.) She had a

history of violent physical attacks on Sister and me, particularly when we

were kids/teens. So, none of that is new, that's just bpd. Its just that now

other people are seeing it, not just Sister and me.

>> >

>> > Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe

memory loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer

disordered behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these

seem to be improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

>> >

>> > I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we

visit our nada.

>> >

>> > I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach

over it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't

really hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her

(although I'd rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

>> >

>> > Anyway. That's my update.

>> >

>> > -Annie

>> >

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Annie,

I'm glad to hear there has been some improvement and that you are doing ok.

Thanks for keeping us in the loop. Sending positive energy your way.

> >> >

> >> > Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's

> symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

> >> >

> >> > Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems

> to be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of

> weeks, has regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more

> her old, quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories

> haven't come back fully.

> >> >

> >> > My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

> anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

> supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

> hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

> that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence,

> she has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et

> voila! Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

> >> >

> >> > Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a

> whole hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its

> just that nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

> >> >

> >> > Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others,

> she had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can

> remember (she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or

> did). She's always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She

> has always acted out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it

> didn't take much stress to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her.

> Disagreeing with her about the temperature could trigger her.) She had a

> history of violent physical attacks on Sister and me, particularly when we

> were kids/teens. So, none of that is new, that's just bpd. Its just that now

> other people are seeing it, not just Sister and me.

> >> >

> >> > Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe

> memory loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer

> disordered behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these

> seem to be improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

> >> >

> >> > I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we

> visit our nada.

> >> >

> >> > I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach

> over it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't

> really hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her

> (although I'd rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

> >> >

> >> > Anyway. That's my update.

> >> >

> >> > -Annie

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's as good a definition as any, RE, I'll know it when I see it.

Me personally, I think lack of humanity is when you keep hurting someone even

though its clear that yes, you are hurting them, badly.

I have several women friends who have shared with me that when they were young

mothers, and " lost it " (had a fit of rage at) their very young child, all it

took was seeing actual fear of mommy in their child's eyes, seeing that hurt and

that fear and that look of shocked *betrayal* on their own tiny child's face

that *mommy put there*... seeing THAT was enough to make these women go through

some very profound soul-searching that ended up with them changing the way they

parented.

My nada, and it would seem other nadas that members here write about, either

could not perceive the harm they were doing, repeatedly, to their own children

(due to insanity or being profoundly cognitively impaired) *or they did see it,

and they just did not care.* (due to being inhuman and/or evil.)

But, that's just my take on it. My viewpoint may not resonate with others

here, but, we each can choose what does or does not resonate with us as

individuals.

-Annie

> >> >

> >> > Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer Alzheimer's

> symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

> >> >

> >> > Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer seems

> to be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of

> weeks, has regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is more

> her old, quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories

> haven't come back fully.

> >> >

> >> > My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

> anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she was

> supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

> hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better. Now

> that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care residence,

> she has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them.... et

> voila! Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

> >> >

> >> > Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a

> whole hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors, its

> just that nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

> >> >

> >> > Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of others,

> she had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can

> remember (she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said or

> did). She's always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad. She

> has always acted out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it

> didn't take much stress to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her.

> Disagreeing with her about the temperature could trigger her.) She had a

> history of violent physical attacks on Sister and me, particularly when we

> were kids/teens. So, none of that is new, that's just bpd. Its just that now

> other people are seeing it, not just Sister and me.

> >> >

> >> > Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe

> memory loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer

> disordered behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so, these

> seem to be improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

> >> >

> >> > I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we

> visit our nada.

> >> >

> >> > I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my stomach

> over it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada can't

> really hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her

> (although I'd rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

> >> >

> >> > Anyway. That's my update.

> >> >

> >> > -Annie

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm inclined to agree. The fear and hurt looks on my and my siblings' faces

didn't seem to stop fada from raging at us during one of his Mr Hyde moods,

nor did it stop him from raging at us again in the future. In fact, I almost

think he raged against us just to see the fear in our eyes as a way of

affirmation--he almost needed to make us afraid just to affirm his power

over us.

At any rate, when I started learning how to disassociate during his rages,

he would rage until I started crying. Then he would wrap it up, hand down

the punishment (often for something I didn't do, or something exaggerated)

and that would be it.

Him, soul-searching? Ha, never, that would mean he'd have to admit he was

wrong, and he could never do that.

F***er.

On Sun, Aug 7, 2011 at 10:11 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> That's as good a definition as any, RE, I'll know it when I see it.

>

> Me personally, I think lack of humanity is when you keep hurting someone

> even though its clear that yes, you are hurting them, badly.

>

> I have several women friends who have shared with me that when they were

> young mothers, and " lost it " (had a fit of rage at) their very young child,

> all it took was seeing actual fear of mommy in their child's eyes, seeing

> that hurt and that fear and that look of shocked *betrayal* on their own

> tiny child's face that *mommy put there*... seeing THAT was enough to make

> these women go through some very profound soul-searching that ended up with

> them changing the way they parented.

>

> My nada, and it would seem other nadas that members here write about,

> either could not perceive the harm they were doing, repeatedly, to their own

> children (due to insanity or being profoundly cognitively impaired) *or they

> did see it, and they just did not care.* (due to being inhuman and/or evil.)

>

> But, that's just my take on it. My viewpoint may not resonate with others

> here, but, we each can choose what does or does not resonate with us as

> individuals.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> > >> >

> > >> > Now that my nada is under more supervised care, her newer

> Alzheimer's

> > symptoms are improving rather dramatically.

> > >> >

> > >> > Sister has told me that nada has stopped hallucinating, no longer

> seems

> > to be so paranoid and hasn't physically attacked anyone in a couple of

> > weeks, has regained control of her bodily functions, can walk, and is

> more

> > her old, quick-witted bpd self more of the time, although her memories

> > haven't come back fully.

> > >> >

> > >> > My own personal opinion is that nada was not actually taking the

> > anti-psychotic meds that had been prescribed. For three whole months she

> was

> > supposed to be taking the antipsychotic prescription on her own, but her

> > hallucinations and acting out and paranoia got worse instead of better.

> Now

> > that nada is living in the Alzheimer's unit of the assisted care

> residence,

> > she has a nurse who hands her the meds and watches her swallow them....

> et

> > voila! Remarkable improvement. Surprise, surprise.

> > >> >

> > >> > Alzheimer's is, at least in the way my nada is displaying it, NOT a

> > whole hell of a lot different than her familiar borderline pd behaviors,

> its

> > just that nada is unable to keep them hidden any longer.

> > >> >

> > >> > Nada was ALWAYS rather paranoid and suspicious and jealous of

> others,

> > she had fixed delusions about me, dad and Sister for as long as I can

> > remember (she'd accuse me of saying things or doing things I never said

> or

> > did). She's always switched us back and forth from all good to all bad.

> She

> > has always acted out with rage-tantrums and hysteria under stress (and it

> > didn't take much stress to trigger her. Spilled juice could trigger her.

> > Disagreeing with her about the temperature could trigger her.) She had a

> > history of violent physical attacks on Sister and me, particularly when

> we

> > were kids/teens. So, none of that is new, that's just bpd. Its just that

> now

> > other people are seeing it, not just Sister and me.

> > >> >

> > >> > Its the newer stuff: the hallucinations, wandering at night, severe

> > memory loss, temporary loss of control of bodily functions: these newer

> > disordered behaviors that she developed over the last 6 months or so,

> these

> > seem to be improving now through the use of the antipsychotic meds.

> > >> >

> > >> > I'm planning a short visit this fall, with Sister at my side when we

> > visit our nada.

> > >> >

> > >> > I'm not looking forward to it, but, I'm not feeling sick at my

> stomach

> > over it either; I think I'm gradually coming to believe that my nada

> can't

> > really hurt me any more, and that allows me to feel some pity for her

> > (although I'd rather feel the pity from a great, great distance.)

> > >> >

> > >> > Anyway. That's my update.

> > >> >

> > >> > -Annie

> > >> >

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >