venting...

[Guest guest]

My daughter's 5th birthday is coming up...I've been NC with my mom for 4 months,

although my mom has been sending things to my kids. The latest package included

a note to my daughter that said " I will see you on your 5th birthday! I heard

I'm on your invite list! "

This makes me angry in so many ways. First and foremost, she's trying manipulate

my child!!!! Where does it end? Second, my daughter DID make a list of people

she wanted to invite to her birthday. My other daughter specifically asked her

if she wanted to invite her grandma, and my daughter said " Um, I don't think so "

- it was completely unprovoked by me. I was like a fly on the wall for the

conversation (I was actual surprised by her response), and I would have done

whatever my daughter wanted me to do (i.e. if she wanted grandma at her

birthday, I would have made sure grandma was invited).

I had posted a message earlier talking about how torn I was about possibly

seeing my mom and dad this weekend, really just because I miss my dad. But now I

know that if my mom sees my kids, she's going to manipulate my daughter into

inviting her to her birthday party. And then if I say that she can't come, she's

going to accuse me of keeping my kids from her even though my kids want to see

her.

This is the part that is so frustrating. Even though I'm NC with her, she's

still invading my life AND inviting herself to my house when she knows I don't

want her here.

Thanks for listening, as always.

[Guest guest]

>

> My daughter's 5th birthday is coming up...I've been NC with my mom for 4

months, although my mom has been sending things to my kids. The latest package

included a note to my daughter that said " I will see you on your 5th birthday! I

heard I'm on your invite list! "

>

You're right. That is MAJORLY out-of-line.

And that's why we have to read anything they send our kids first, just like

prison wardens. *sigh* I'm glad you are doing it.

Your mother is just begging for contact, either to have her manipulation

rewarded with an invite, or to have you chew her out. It sounds like you know

better. Since you're still in touch with your dad, it would be ok to let him

know what happened and that you will not be answering the door if she shows up

uninvited at your house.

At least she's reminded you why you are NC with her. That's one gift they just

keep on giving.

Sveta

[Guest guest]

OMG isn't it weird how people get so desparate to push your buttons they

will take a negative reaction over nothing - - - I've been running into

that a lot lately. My goal is to see it for what it is and then respond with

nothing until they can at least ask nicely

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> > My daughter's 5th birthday is coming up...I've been NC with my mom for 4

> months, although my mom has been sending things to my kids. The latest

> package included a note to my daughter that said " I will see you on your 5th

> birthday! I heard I'm on your invite list! "

> >

>

> You're right. That is MAJORLY out-of-line.

>

> And that's why we have to read anything they send our kids first, just like

> prison wardens. *sigh* I'm glad you are doing it.

>

> Your mother is just begging for contact, either to have her manipulation

> rewarded with an invite, or to have you chew her out. It sounds like you

> know better. Since you're still in touch with your dad, it would be ok to

> let him know what happened and that you will not be answering the door if

> she shows up uninvited at your house.

>

> At least she's reminded you why you are NC with her. That's one gift they

> just keep on giving.

>

> Sveta

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