Finally watched 'Mommie Dearest' tonight

[Guest guest]

Watched it with my daughter, a Psychology major. The scenes with Joan raging

just made me sad. Although my nada never got quite that out of hand--she only

raged at me when Dad was at work, and if she had beaten me like that or

destroyed the house like that he would have flipped out once he came home.

My daughter, however, was horrified by the abuse. She found the violence

upsetting and the unfairness of all the emotional turmoil put onto the children

was almost unbearable to watch.

I guess growing up with this type of abuse made me desensitized. I could see the

misery in Joan and it looked so familiar. How sick to volunteer to bring

innocent children into such a madhouse, but then that's what our parents did,

too. We all should have the opportunity to write our memoirs.

I was glad to hear my daughter saying over and over, " Mom, I've never

appreciated you more, or been so thankful for your parenting. " That was an

unexpected gift.

[Guest guest]

Wow, what a lovely thing your daughter said to you.

That IS a gift!!

>

> Watched it with my daughter, a Psychology major. The scenes with Joan raging

just made me sad. Although my nada never got quite that out of hand--she only

raged at me when Dad was at work, and if she had beaten me like that or

destroyed the house like that he would have flipped out once he came home.

>

> My daughter, however, was horrified by the abuse. She found the violence

upsetting and the unfairness of all the emotional turmoil put onto the children

was almost unbearable to watch.

>

> I guess growing up with this type of abuse made me desensitized. I could see

the misery in Joan and it looked so familiar. How sick to volunteer to bring

innocent children into such a madhouse, but then that's what our parents did,

too. We all should have the opportunity to write our memoirs.

>

> I was glad to hear my daughter saying over and over, " Mom, I've never

appreciated you more, or been so thankful for your parenting. " That was an

unexpected gift.

>

[Guest guest]

one interesting thing about that story is some of the other siblings deny it

took place. I have slowly over time watched my three other siblings put layers

of denial over things that happened to us as children. So I imagine that is what

happened in this case too. was probably the 'painted black' child and

for those of us who experienced that we don't have the luxury of forgetting or

minimizing usually. If you ever want to experience pure 'koo-koo' go on the fan

sites for Joan Crawford and read some of the vitriol directed at from

people who were fans of Joan, it gives a whole new meaning to the words 'flying

monkey'.

>

> Watched it with my daughter, a Psychology major. The scenes with Joan raging

just made me sad. Although my nada never got quite that out of hand--she only

raged at me when Dad was at work, and if she had beaten me like that or

destroyed the house like that he would have flipped out once he came home.

>

> My daughter, however, was horrified by the abuse. She found the violence

upsetting and the unfairness of all the emotional turmoil put onto the children

was almost unbearable to watch.

>

> I guess growing up with this type of abuse made me desensitized. I could see

the misery in Joan and it looked so familiar. How sick to volunteer to bring

innocent children into such a madhouse, but then that's what our parents did,

too. We all should have the opportunity to write our memoirs.

>

> I was glad to hear my daughter saying over and over, " Mom, I've never

appreciated you more, or been so thankful for your parenting. " That was an

unexpected gift.

>

[Guest guest]

Ha! I was fascinated the first time I saw that movie - glimpsed my mom in

several scenes, but didn't realize that " other peoples mothers " aren't like that

- until later. It was kind of like driving by a bad car wreck, and then

recognizing myself in the tangled wreckage. Anyway - my favorite line in the

movie is when Joan is in a tirade and yells something like, " why can't you treat

me as well as strangers do? " (or maybe I'm remembering it wrong - that was one

of my mother's favorite lines the whole time I was growing up). Anyway -

replies, " Because, Mommy, I am NOT one of your FANS. " Love it, love

it, love it. I'm not one of my mom's fans, either. Every time the movie is on

TV, I sit through the wire hanger scene, the re-scrubbing the bathroom tile

scene (been there!!), and all the other scenes, just so I can get to that

moment, pump my fist in the air, and recite that line. The first boundary. The

first, pure statement of truth. The look of utter shock on the monster's face.

Goooo, !

> >

> > Watched it with my daughter, a Psychology major. The scenes with Joan raging

just made me sad. Although my nada never got quite that out of hand--she only

raged at me when Dad was at work, and if she had beaten me like that or

destroyed the house like that he would have flipped out once he came home.

> >

> > My daughter, however, was horrified by the abuse. She found the violence

upsetting and the unfairness of all the emotional turmoil put onto the children

was almost unbearable to watch.

> >

> > I guess growing up with this type of abuse made me desensitized. I could see

the misery in Joan and it looked so familiar. How sick to volunteer to bring

innocent children into such a madhouse, but then that's what our parents did,

too. We all should have the opportunity to write our memoirs.

> >

> > I was glad to hear my daughter saying over and over, " Mom, I've never

appreciated you more, or been so thankful for your parenting. " That was an

unexpected gift.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh ! I too love that line.

And what is Joan's response? To try and kill by strangling her.

What I always love is that opening scene where she is going through that intense

regime to clean her face and put on makeup. That's my nada. Two hours every day

to scrub her face, use some alcohol treatment on it, dry it, lotion up, then

base, powder, blush, eye shadow, liner, mascara, blah blah blah... it takes

FOREVER. And honestly, it just makes her look like she's wearing makeup, not any

more attractive (or less). I don't wear make up at all. And all of my boyfriends

have thought I am beautiful. I hate make up now, probably bc of nada. I just

find it to be a lie. When people see me, I want them to see me. If they don't

like it: F em.

> > >

> > > Watched it with my daughter, a Psychology major. The scenes with Joan

raging just made me sad. Although my nada never got quite that out of hand--she

only raged at me when Dad was at work, and if she had beaten me like that or

destroyed the house like that he would have flipped out once he came home.

> > >

> > > My daughter, however, was horrified by the abuse. She found the violence

upsetting and the unfairness of all the emotional turmoil put onto the children

was almost unbearable to watch.

> > >

> > > I guess growing up with this type of abuse made me desensitized. I could

see the misery in Joan and it looked so familiar. How sick to volunteer to bring

innocent children into such a madhouse, but then that's what our parents did,

too. We all should have the opportunity to write our memoirs.

> > >

> > > I was glad to hear my daughter saying over and over, " Mom, I've never

appreciated you more, or been so thankful for your parenting. " That was an

unexpected gift.

> > >

> >

>