Realizing I've changed

March 20, 2012

With such big changes in my life lately, I'm realizing I've changed a

lot too. And for the better, or so I think.

I'm in my 3rd week at my new job.... my first nursing job. I

absolutely LOVE it!

To top it off, my co-workers are really amazing too, for the most

part. But like they say, there's always one... and this job is no

exception.

We have one nurse who thinks she runs the joint. Mind you, she's not

our nurse supervisor. Today our admin. director was in a meeting. I

took a phone call from a higher-up at the hospital who said it was

important that I give my director the message immediately. He said he

did not need to call back until after his meeting, but stressed I

needed to give him the note right away. I headed for boss's office

and she snaps, " You can't go in there! He's in a meeting! " I just

kept walking, knocked on the door & entered when he answered. Told

him what was up and he was very grateful. No mention was made of it

after that (in other words, I wasn't in trouble or anything). I guess

this particular nurse kept going on about me interupting but I just

kept walking LOL. Honestly, I didn't pay any attention to her. It

wasn't until later when another co-worker told me she thought this

nurse was out of her mind for going on & on about me giving boss the

note... she said, " But you were doing what you were supposed to do &

just kinda blew her off. You're so laid back! "

That's when it hit me... OMG I am laid back!!! When the hell did that

happen??!! And I realize that this is like the 3rd time that someone

at work has said I'm " laid back " or " easy going " .

Something has changed! And I like it!!! I used to be so darned PTSD

due to nada & all the abuse. Hell, I was on disability for PTSD &

depression... severe. And now, I'm functioning in a very high stress

environment and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I can keep my cool, but act

quickly & do what I'm supposed to do. And if Mrs. " panties in a

ruffle " nurse wants to get all frustrated, well hell, let her. That's

her problem, not mine. It's NOT my problem, and I'm not letting it

become my problem.

When did this happen? I mean, it just didn't happen over night but

I've been oblvious for the most part that I CAN and DO deal with

stress in a healthy way now. THAT IS BLOWING MY MIND!

And to top it off, I got great compliments from my new co-workers

after a nurse's meeting today. They said I'm catching on really fast

and taking a lot of initiative to learn and help. Well that just

rocks! Because yeah, I want to learn & do my job well. They're

grateful that I'm there... I have NEVER in all my life been told I'm

apprecieated at work for what I do. HOLY COW!!!

I have truly hit the new nurse jackpot with this job. My co-workers

rock... except for Mrs. panties in a ruffle lol. And frankly, it's

ok. I can maintain myself if & when she gets all flustered. Because

that's all I truly can do in life... control myself. Sure as heck

can't control anyone else. So if someone's spazzing out, that's their

issue, not mine. I don't have to own it. =)

Just wanted to share that because it feels like SUCH a big victory for

me. I've healed, and I am continuing to heal. There is hope, guys.

Our crazy FOOs have definetly done damage, but we can heal & take our

lives back. It's been a long & hard road, but I'm seeing the

differences and I'm so happy I decided to travel this path towards

being mentally healthy =)

Here's to hoping each & every one of us can continue to heal and can

take a moment to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done when we

recognize these good changes in ourselves. We deserve it!

*HUGS*

Mia

March 20, 2012

Mia, so good to hear from you and I'm so glad you are doing well. You sound so

healthy and healed. I am so happy for you!

Kay

>

> With such big changes in my life lately, I'm realizing I've changed a

> lot too. And for the better, or so I think.

>

> I'm in my 3rd week at my new job.... my first nursing job. I

> absolutely LOVE it!

>

> To top it off, my co-workers are really amazing too, for the most

> part. But like they say, there's always one... and this job is no

> exception.

>

> We have one nurse who thinks she runs the joint. Mind you, she's not

> our nurse supervisor. Today our admin. director was in a meeting. I

> took a phone call from a higher-up at the hospital who said it was

> important that I give my director the message immediately. He said he

> did not need to call back until after his meeting, but stressed I

> needed to give him the note right away. I headed for boss's office

> and she snaps, " You can't go in there! He's in a meeting! " I just

> kept walking, knocked on the door & entered when he answered. Told

> him what was up and he was very grateful. No mention was made of it

> after that (in other words, I wasn't in trouble or anything). I guess

> this particular nurse kept going on about me interupting but I just

> kept walking LOL. Honestly, I didn't pay any attention to her. It

> wasn't until later when another co-worker told me she thought this

> nurse was out of her mind for going on & on about me giving boss the

> note... she said, " But you were doing what you were supposed to do &

> just kinda blew her off. You're so laid back! "

>

> That's when it hit me... OMG I am laid back!!! When the hell did that

> happen??!! And I realize that this is like the 3rd time that someone

> at work has said I'm " laid back " or " easy going " .

>

> Something has changed! And I like it!!! I used to be so darned PTSD

> due to nada & all the abuse. Hell, I was on disability for PTSD &

> depression... severe. And now, I'm functioning in a very high stress

> environment and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I can keep my cool, but act

> quickly & do what I'm supposed to do. And if Mrs. " panties in a

> ruffle " nurse wants to get all frustrated, well hell, let her. That's

> her problem, not mine. It's NOT my problem, and I'm not letting it

> become my problem.

>

> When did this happen? I mean, it just didn't happen over night but

> I've been oblvious for the most part that I CAN and DO deal with

> stress in a healthy way now. THAT IS BLOWING MY MIND!

>

> And to top it off, I got great compliments from my new co-workers

> after a nurse's meeting today. They said I'm catching on really fast

> and taking a lot of initiative to learn and help. Well that just

> rocks! Because yeah, I want to learn & do my job well. They're

> grateful that I'm there... I have NEVER in all my life been told I'm

> apprecieated at work for what I do. HOLY COW!!!

>

> I have truly hit the new nurse jackpot with this job. My co-workers

> rock... except for Mrs. panties in a ruffle lol. And frankly, it's

> ok. I can maintain myself if & when she gets all flustered. Because

> that's all I truly can do in life... control myself. Sure as heck

> can't control anyone else. So if someone's spazzing out, that's their

> issue, not mine. I don't have to own it. =)

>

> Just wanted to share that because it feels like SUCH a big victory for

> me. I've healed, and I am continuing to heal. There is hope, guys.

> Our crazy FOOs have definetly done damage, but we can heal & take our

> lives back. It's been a long & hard road, but I'm seeing the

> differences and I'm so happy I decided to travel this path towards

> being mentally healthy =)

>

> Here's to hoping each & every one of us can continue to heal and can

> take a moment to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done when we

> recognize these good changes in ourselves. We deserve it!

>

> *HUGS*

>

> Mia

>

March 20, 2012

Thanks Kay! I am healing, not sure I'll ever be at a point where

I'd feel I'm " healed " , you know? Past tense.

Though not exactly the same, not at all... I sort of think of my

struggles with PTSD in the same vein as a recovering alcoholic. No

matter how many years an individual has been sober, he or she is

always considered recovering. I feel like I'm in that boat. Not sure

there's a such thing as total recovery, but hell yes, I am recovering

=) I think we can, and do. And it's always work. I still do a lot

of positive visualization, breathing techniques, meditation, etc. If

it is helping to keep me sane or.. saner, lol... it's worth it =)

Mia

>

> Mia, so good to hear from you and I'm so glad you are doing well. You

> sound so healthy and healed. I am so happy for you!

> Kay

>

> >

> > With such big changes in my life lately, I'm realizing I've changed a

> > lot too. And for the better, or so I think.

> >

> > I'm in my 3rd week at my new job.... my first nursing job. I

> > absolutely LOVE it!

> >

> > To top it off, my co-workers are really amazing too, for the most

> > part. But like they say, there's always one... and this job is no

> > exception.

> >

> > We have one nurse who thinks she runs the joint. Mind you, she's not

> > our nurse supervisor. Today our admin. director was in a meeting. I

> > took a phone call from a higher-up at the hospital who said it was

> > important that I give my director the message immediately. He said he

> > did not need to call back until after his meeting, but stressed I

> > needed to give him the note right away. I headed for boss's office

> > and she snaps, " You can't go in there! He's in a meeting! " I just

> > kept walking, knocked on the door & entered when he answered. Told

> > him what was up and he was very grateful. No mention was made of it

> > after that (in other words, I wasn't in trouble or anything). I guess

> > this particular nurse kept going on about me interupting but I just

> > kept walking LOL. Honestly, I didn't pay any attention to her. It

> > wasn't until later when another co-worker told me she thought this

> > nurse was out of her mind for going on & on about me giving boss the

> > note... she said, " But you were doing what you were supposed to do &

> > just kinda blew her off. You're so laid back! "

> >

> > That's when it hit me... OMG I am laid back!!! When the hell did that

> > happen??!! And I realize that this is like the 3rd time that someone

> > at work has said I'm " laid back " or " easy going " .

> >

> > Something has changed! And I like it!!! I used to be so darned PTSD

> > due to nada & all the abuse. Hell, I was on disability for PTSD &

> > depression... severe. And now, I'm functioning in a very high stress

> > environment and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I can keep my cool, but act

> > quickly & do what I'm supposed to do. And if Mrs. " panties in a

> > ruffle " nurse wants to get all frustrated, well hell, let her. That's

> > her problem, not mine. It's NOT my problem, and I'm not letting it

> > become my problem.

> >

> > When did this happen? I mean, it just didn't happen over night but

> > I've been oblvious for the most part that I CAN and DO deal with

> > stress in a healthy way now. THAT IS BLOWING MY MIND!

> >

> > And to top it off, I got great compliments from my new co-workers

> > after a nurse's meeting today. They said I'm catching on really fast

> > and taking a lot of initiative to learn and help. Well that just

> > rocks! Because yeah, I want to learn & do my job well. They're

> > grateful that I'm there... I have NEVER in all my life been told I'm

> > apprecieated at work for what I do. HOLY COW!!!

> >

> > I have truly hit the new nurse jackpot with this job. My co-workers

> > rock... except for Mrs. panties in a ruffle lol. And frankly, it's

> > ok. I can maintain myself if & when she gets all flustered. Because

> > that's all I truly can do in life... control myself. Sure as heck

> > can't control anyone else. So if someone's spazzing out, that's their

> > issue, not mine. I don't have to own it. =)

> >

> > Just wanted to share that because it feels like SUCH a big victory for

> > me. I've healed, and I am continuing to heal. There is hope, guys.

> > Our crazy FOOs have definetly done damage, but we can heal & take our

> > lives back. It's been a long & hard road, but I'm seeing the

> > differences and I'm so happy I decided to travel this path towards

> > being mentally healthy =)

> >

> > Here's to hoping each & every one of us can continue to heal and can

> > take a moment to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done when we

> > recognize these good changes in ourselves. We deserve it!

> >

> > *HUGS*

> >

> > Mia

> >

>

March 20, 2012

That rocks, Mia!! So awesome that you love your new job and the people who

count really appreciate you and let you know it! Doesn't get much better than

that, truly.

Brava!

-Annie