I want to set a limit...the day he ignores me

March 20, 2012

I'm so sorry for posting so much recently. I will definitely start replying to

posts and helping people out who are in similar situations, returning the

awesome favor you all give as things clear up a bit here...

Today, I was ready to set a limit with fada. After the intense interrogations we

have over the phone, the number of calls, texts, emails etc he would send, I was

READY Today to talk to him over the phone, and set the limit of returning one

text/day and phonecalls twice a week. I talked to a therapist about it, I talked

to a friend about it.

And now when I go to call him tonight, he REFUSES To talk to me. He picks up,

sounds depressed and cold, says " You're too busy to even give me a ten minute

call. You're just too busy. I don't want to talk to you, Call your mom on her

cell. " and hangs up.

Crushing. Completely crushing because silent treatment always was paired with

physical abuse when I lived at home, and also because I was SO READY to set the

limit. UGH!

I called mom later. She was very kind to me as usual and could sense something

was up in my voice (had been crying the past hour...) but didn't mention

anything about it. She was actually EXTRA nice to me on the phone because I

think she knew my dad was in a rough mood and had talked to me. The HELPLESSNESS

I feel when I talk to her & she KNOWS something is wrong with fada and has done

nothing to change it, to know she is feeling so stuck in a cycle of abuse just

frightens me too. How she so desperately wants to comfort me, but with fada

breathing down her neck, she can't say a word that he'll hear and explode on her

about.

Now I'm crushed and don't know when I'll have the strength to set a limit again,

whenever he decides to talk to me again.

I just don't know where to go from here. I was making progress, and good

progress. Then, this happens and I'm a wreck and bawling my eyes out for two

hours when I thought I was OVER his manipulation over me. Sigh. I just feel so

hopeless and I feel like at this rate, his calls and his control over me will go

on forever.

Any consolation, or similar experiences would be helpful. Thanks so much

everyone.

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