Can't win - nada determined to paint me black

[Guest guest]

My half-sister's father died last week after a long illness. Neither of the

siblings she shared with her biological father bothered to notify her, so she

missed the memorial for him.

I innocently made a comment to nada that it was 'too bad' my half-sister had to

find out from OUR mother that HER father was dead. That's it--that is all I

said. Nada, of course, took it as a disparaging comment against her, instead of

considering the fact my poor, sweet sister was again denied access to her blood

father by those 2 brats she shares blood with.

My mother still hated the man 50 years after their divorce, and cannot talk

about him without damning him. It would have been a kindness if my sister had

heard the news from someone who loved him instead of nada.

I hope nada chokes herself on all the venom she is spewing about my latest

'slight' to her. If she wanted to call me herself with this accusation, instead

of me having to hear it from others, I would gladly hurl some real insults her

way. What a C***!

[Guest guest]

Don't you feel like having a conversation with your mother is like trying to

walk through an active minefield? ANYTHING and everything you say will be

taken a different way, a bad way -- because that's how they communicate, through

indirect " shots. "

It stinks. That's why it makes a relationship just not worth it. It's too much

work!

>

> My half-sister's father died last week after a long illness. Neither of the

siblings she shared with her biological father bothered to notify her, so she

missed the memorial for him.

>

> I innocently made a comment to nada that it was 'too bad' my half-sister had

to find out from OUR mother that HER father was dead. That's it--that is all I

said. Nada, of course, took it as a disparaging comment against her, instead of

considering the fact my poor, sweet sister was again denied access to her blood

father by those 2 brats she shares blood with.

>

> My mother still hated the man 50 years after their divorce, and cannot talk

about him without damning him. It would have been a kindness if my sister had

heard the news from someone who loved him instead of nada.

>

> I hope nada chokes herself on all the venom she is spewing about my latest

'slight' to her. If she wanted to call me herself with this accusation, instead

of me having to hear it from others, I would gladly hurl some real insults her

way. What a C***!

>

[Guest guest]

I was thinking earlier of how to start a thread about how people dialogue in

their heads about nada/fada stuff and how they feel about it because i call mine

every name in the book sometimes and I wonder if that makes me not 'recovered'

so I am so glad you posted this. I get so frustrated. I get particularly

frustrated because my fada lies about me so much to people outside the immediate

family and I know he always has. And now I know that nada supports him in this.

I know it, even though I have not heard her do so, there is just no way it could

be other. It's sickening, disgusting, and it makes me want to retch. I am

sending hugs your way, I know what it's like to feel this way.

>

> My half-sister's father died last week after a long illness. Neither of the

siblings she shared with her biological father bothered to notify her, so she

missed the memorial for him.

>

> I innocently made a comment to nada that it was 'too bad' my half-sister had

to find out from OUR mother that HER father was dead. That's it--that is all I

said. Nada, of course, took it as a disparaging comment against her, instead of

considering the fact my poor, sweet sister was again denied access to her blood

father by those 2 brats she shares blood with.

>

> My mother still hated the man 50 years after their divorce, and cannot talk

about him without damning him. It would have been a kindness if my sister had

heard the news from someone who loved him instead of nada.

>

> I hope nada chokes herself on all the venom she is spewing about my latest

'slight' to her. If she wanted to call me herself with this accusation, instead

of me having to hear it from others, I would gladly hurl some real insults her

way. What a C***!

>