My BPD Mother - now it's time to heal myself.

[Guest guest]

I've endured years of trying to deal with my mother. I love her and wish she

will be able to find security and happiness and most importantly self love. I

just recently stumbled upon BPD which my brother pointed out to me through his

therapist. I'm reading the book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' and it's like this

book was written entirely about my mother. I'm concerned about the effects this

has had on me throughout my life. It feels good to finally have the crazy

arguments/out bursts/ and manipulations laid out clearly. Thank the lord I'm not

crazy! It's good to see a support group out there because it's definitely a lot

to deal with and unless you've experienced a BPD relationship it's hard to

communicate what I've been going through to my friends. One step at a time. I'm

feeling positive and empowered knowing that I'm not alone. It's interesting to

see how BPD's see things, it's exhausting to put myself in their shoes not to

mention sad - to go through life thinking those horrible thoughts all the time

really gives me perspective on why my mother acted/acts the way she does. I do

have pity on my mother's condition and now fully understand that I can't change

her - EVER! It's time to focus on me and move forward and get the happy life

that I deserve. Good vibes to all the people who have gone through a BPD parent.

[Guest guest]

I can relate. I watched a Dr. Phil show once and watched a mom rage on her son.

It was like watching my mom. I was in shock! They mentioned BP and the

walking on eggshells book which I went and bought it immediately. I felt like

you. When I read it, it was like AHHHHH, this is exactly what it was like. SO

I’m not crazy. LOL! I’m a mom now of two and still struggle at times with

the thought... am I like my mom... I know deep down that I’m totally not like

her but I do need my hubby to tell me from time to time. I thought as a kid, if

I could just survive till I get out of this house, I’ll be fine. I thought as

an adult I’d have my shit together (sorry) and I’m realizing nope being an

adult doesn’t make those feelings of am I crazy...or having to ask friends if

something is normal or not... no it doesn’t go away. So I feel the same as

you do. I’m turning 35 in a few months and feel like I’ve got to focus on

ME and doing the work to repairing what I can in myself and not worry about my

mom. She’s never gonna change and if that means I have to cut her out of my

life so I can move on with my life I will. Best of luck to you.

From:

Sent: Friday, March 16, 2012 5:37 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: My BPD Mother - now it's time to heal myself.

I've endured years of trying to deal with my mother. I love her and wish she

will be able to find security and happiness and most importantly self love. I

just recently stumbled upon BPD which my brother pointed out to me through his

therapist. I'm reading the book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' and it's like this

book was written entirely about my mother. I'm concerned about the effects this

has had on me throughout my life. It feels good to finally have the crazy

arguments/out bursts/ and manipulations laid out clearly. Thank the lord I'm not

crazy! It's good to see a support group out there because it's definitely a lot

to deal with and unless you've experienced a BPD relationship it's hard to

communicate what I've been going through to my friends. One step at a time. I'm

feeling positive and empowered knowing that I'm not alone. It's interesting to

see how BPD's see things, it's exhausting to put myself in their shoes not to

mention sad - to go through life thinking those horrible thoughts all the time

really gives me perspective on why my mother acted/acts the way she does. I do

have pity on my mother's condition and now fully understand that I can't change

her - EVER! It's time to focus on me and move forward and get the happy life

that I deserve. Good vibes to all the people who have gone through a BPD parent.

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the Group, . You have so much insight already, that's

wonderful!

I know what you mean, RE how healing it is to find others who have experienced

uncannily similar behaviors and events from their own bpd mothers (or " nadas " , a

nickname here for a mother with bpd.) Like you, " Walking On Eggshells " was

the first book I'd discovered about bpd; it helped me grow closer to my younger

Sister. I shared it with her and we began opening up to each other more about

our childhood memories and young adult memories, and we became more of a " team "

in our then-current issues with our bpd mother. (My bpd mother passed away

recently; I'm still processing that.)

Anyway: welcome. This is a remarkably compassionate and empathetic Group, and

yet we each have different, individual roads that we take. Some of us have bpd

parents who are only mildly affected by bpd, while others of us have mothers or

fathers who are extremely affected by bpd and are even dangerous. Plus, we as

individuals have sustained differing degrees of damage, or are still emotionally

or financially dependent on our bpd parents. Some of us find its possible to

remain in Limited Contact with firm boundaries in place, while others find that

they need to go No Contact either temporarily or permanently.

We're all at different stages of understanding, growth and healing from our

experiences.

So, its good to have the validation and emotional support of fellow " Kids Of " as

each of us discovers what works best for us during our own journey toward

healing, peace, and even perhaps joy.

-Annie

>

> I've endured years of trying to deal with my mother. I love her and wish she

will be able to find security and happiness and most importantly self love. I

just recently stumbled upon BPD which my brother pointed out to me through his

therapist. I'm reading the book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' and it's like this

book was written entirely about my mother. I'm concerned about the effects this

has had on me throughout my life. It feels good to finally have the crazy

arguments/out bursts/ and manipulations laid out clearly. Thank the lord I'm not

crazy! It's good to see a support group out there because it's definitely a lot

to deal with and unless you've experienced a BPD relationship it's hard to

communicate what I've been going through to my friends. One step at a time. I'm

feeling positive and empowered knowing that I'm not alone. It's interesting to

see how BPD's see things, it's exhausting to put myself in their shoes not to

mention sad - to go through life thinking those horrible thoughts all the time

really gives me perspective on why my mother acted/acts the way she does. I do

have pity on my mother's condition and now fully understand that I can't change

her - EVER! It's time to focus on me and move forward and get the happy life

that I deserve. Good vibes to all the people who have gone through a BPD parent.

>