healing

[Guest guest]

my journey for healing is multifaceted and rather complex. I have been going to

weekly trauma therapy. I apparently don't fit the regular diagnosis for

anything.

I have all the symptoms of PTSD but it is not official becasue the DSM requres

there to be an " event "

my therapist said it is a flaw in definitions and not uncommon.

I feel pretty lucky that I don't have anxiety, or depression disorders.(that's

not to say I am not depressed,and anxious sometimes) my official diagnosis will

be an " unspecified anxiety disorder " meaning I have some anxiety issues, but

they don't fit the usual traits.

I have posted here about my Pelvic floor dysfunction so I won't bother with that

again. I want to post some information about it just in case someone may be

helped by this life changing information. http://www.pelvicpainhelpforwomen.com/

if you have uti's or other urinary issues or pain, please check it out. this is

research by interdisciplinary group of doctors at Stanford and is changing my

life.

PFD is by some believed to be a physical form of anxiety disorder. that fits for

me at least.

I am doing weekly visits to a physical therapist. it is amazing, and really

helping me. I have an hour+ of stuff to do every morning. it is not as much of a

time constraint as I thought it would be. I have a supportive husband who is

picking up some slack with the kids, and a team of generous friends who are

babysitting, giving messages, and even a personal trainer friend who taught me

modified yoga moves to help me.

I am already seeing a reduction in symptoms and feeling confident that my

choices are the right ones.

reducing contact with nada was one of the smartest moves yet. PTSD makes me

terrified to talk to her. her powers of manipulation are greatly diminished by

e-mail contact. she has tried, but I don't respond to her. my messages are

purposefully independent of hers. it is fantastic. I thought I would feel more

guilty about it, but I don't. Nada and even my dad (a little) have tried to make

me relent.

it feels great to take charge of my life. recently someone posted an article

that said something to the effect of 'when they made you take care of yourself

they gave you permission to do just that' that is my mantra.

I could not do it alone, but I am not alone. I am so grateful for a network of

support that is making my healing possible. that includes all of you thanks.

Meikjn