Re: How do you cope?

[Guest guest]

Hi ! My son is 4 and my name is too! I felt the same way you did until we found the right protocol -NIDS for us is working great! Are you following any protocols like DAN? I know what you are going through and it is very tough. It is hard dealing with people sometimes that don't understand! I know you have done a lot of therapy but our kids are ill and need help to overcome all the junk in their bodies. We did a ton of therapies but we got no where until we found the right protocol so he can start learning again!We are 10 months into NIDS and he is talking, learning at an incredible rate, social, easy going, potty trained and happy! There are tons of ways people heal there kids, the key is just finding the right one that works for you kid! Keep fighting and finding ways to heal him and he will get there!! Sent from my iPhone

Hi Parents,

I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?

Thank you

mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

I spend WAY more time with other people who have children with Autism. It's comforting and we don't get those looks from each other. Getting them as a group, we can laugh at it "Did you just see the face she made? Ha, that makes her look like a horse" kind of thing. For family, I keep visit to those who "get it" and limit the visits with those who don't. When we are at a plateau for a while, I change it up a bit, introduce a new skill, change supplements, new aromatherapy (not for Autism per se, just to feel different), and maybe a change of scenery for a few hours (we live near mountains so we drive 3 hours to the beach). My relatives quit commenting when I had them watch my kiddo for 2 hours while I met some old friends for coffee. When I feel like I'm losing the battle, I pull out the older videos/pictures and realize just how far we've come. I

also call friends from my support group and get a pick-me-upI hope this has helped.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I think we all deal with people's stares everyday. It affects me a lot and I cry

my eyes out almost everyday. The worst situation is that my husband's niece

probably has some form of Asperger syndrome but she always had speech and her

parents not only remain in denial but love to talk about how abnormal children

with autism are. My mother-in-law has told me several times that my son was

always " abnormal " even though she was the one who used to call him very social

and chatty before he turned 2. She doesn't think that we are dealing with

anything serious and wants us to just accept that are child is abnormal. At the

same time she claims that my son is her favorite grandchild and nobody loves him

more than her. She has turned me into a fighter and with all the time that I

spend on my son's treatments, diet and therapy, I waste so much time thinking

about her reckless comments and selfishness. I hate to argue with people and

when somebody says something insensitive, it takes me time to come up with a

response and then of course I don't like myself so much when I talk back to her.

But then we have some friends and family members who have been supportive and

encouraging. I think that my own belief that my son is going to get better and a

lot of prayers help me go on. On and off when my son shows a little improvement,

I get to see the child who can have a lot of potential and that helps me not to

give up hope. I look at his old pictures with eyes full of shine and life and I

know that my son is sick like many other kids who have different forms of

illnesses and he needs treatment and he will get better. But most importantly, I

joined this forum in June and I feel so much more stronger when I see that so

many mothers are dealing with much more difficult situations for years and they

have not given up. I also compare my life with people who have 2-3 kids with

autism and their strength inspires me. I hope this helps and God bless you and

your child.

is

>

> Hi Parents,

> I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will

get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's

turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly

improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say,

and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you

cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're

losing the battle?

>

> Thank you

>

> mum of 4 yr old asd son

>

[Guest guest]

I find a lot of comfort in spirituality and as long as I remain spiritual its easy to cope with stress and give me the much needed reassurance. There are days when I cry silently in my room. Then there are days when I just splurged a little on myself to help with stress. Or I just go to my moms house and relax there. Sometimes I think life is not fair, that until my adolescents we were suffering due to an alcoholic father and finally he passed away in my teens and then I was suffering from severe low self esteem and inferiority complex. All that changed after I got married and got a good job. But then I had a baby who never stopped crying since the start of his life and was diagnosed with autism at age of 2. Then I had to give up my good job to take care of him and I have bouts of inferiority complex

and insecurity again... which used to worsen when I see other normal kids making friends and behaving the way children should. I'm thinking there is trouble after trouble for me. But I guess everybody,, even parents of non special needs kids have their own problems, possibly will have at different time periods or some problems that we dont know of since they may not disclose...I avoid people who make me feel uncomfortable about my son. On the upside everyone who have known him earlier are amazed at him now and say that he will be completely alright some day. Those who have never known his problem cannot tell the difference. I'm hanging on to that hope that he will be completely alright some day without the need for this diet and supplements. Like the other said, its a matter of the right therapy and the right combination of diet and supplements which would work. Just dont give up. You are in

my thoughts..To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 11:02 PMSubject: How do you cope?

Hi Parents,

I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?

Thank you

mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents who just like every one want the best for our kids....Thanks again

[Guest guest]

I don't know if you are religious at all, but you don't have to be in order to appreciate Mother Theresa's words (I find this very comforting FWIW!):Mother 's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true

enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.That being said my kids are in " regular " classes and we probably don't get too many " oh that kid is autistic " staresbut more the " that mom is a jerk to allow her kids to act like that " stares, or the people who deal with me probably

think " the kids are fine, the MOM is CRAZY! " LOL:::hugs:::In the past ten days, I had two therapists - who work with autistic kids - tell me that my kids were behaving the way theydo " for attention. " It had me pretty pissed off then, and thinking about it makes me pissed off now!

 

Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents  who just like every one  want the best for our kids....

Thanks again-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

[Guest guest]

thanks for the share, we all need to hear these words.And, yes we all want to best for our kids, regardless what others think of us.Tunde

 

I don't know if you are religious at all, but you don't have to be in order to appreciate Mother Theresa's words (I find this very comforting FWIW!):Mother 's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true

enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.That being said my kids are in " regular " classes and we probably don't get too many " oh that kid is autistic " staresbut more the " that mom is a jerk to allow her kids to act like that " stares, or the people who deal with me probably

think " the kids are fine, the MOM is CRAZY! " LOL:::hugs:::In the past ten days, I had two therapists - who work with autistic kids - tell me that my kids were behaving the way theydo " for attention. " It had me pretty pissed off then, and thinking about it makes me pissed off now!

 

Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents  who just like every one  want the best for our kids....

Thanks again-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

-- " Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. " MLK

[Guest guest]

Keep your eye on the prize and come here to vent : )

EVERYone gets discouraged from time to time. Ya just gotta pick yourself up and keep at it.

You are not obligated to offer anyone an explaination. Let people stare. Just smile nicely at them -- It'll make them feel like a-holes for all the nasty thoughts they were having.

Keep yourself away from people who aren't encouraging or supportive. you and your son do not need them. Negativity is bad for your health and well being so try not to hold onto your anger too long. Hang in there!

-Tammy

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:32 PMSubject: How do you cope?

Hi Parents,I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?Thank you mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

is, AWESOME post....your mother in law and alberta's mother in law ought to meet : )

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 2:07 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Hi ,I think we all deal with people's stares everyday. It affects me a lot and I cry my eyes out almost everyday. The worst situation is that my husband's niece probably has some form of Asperger syndrome but she always had speech and her parents not only remain in denial but love to talk about how abnormal children with autism are. My mother-in-law has told me several times that my son was always "abnormal" even though she was the one who used to call him very social and chatty before he turned 2. She doesn't think that we are dealing with anything serious and wants us to just accept that are child is abnormal. At the same time she claims that my son is her favorite grandchild and nobody loves him more than her. She has turned me into a fighter and with all the time that I spend on my son's treatments, diet and therapy, I waste so much time thinking about her reckless comments and selfishness. I hate to argue with people and when somebody

says something insensitive, it takes me time to come up with a response and then of course I don't like myself so much when I talk back to her. But then we have some friends and family members who have been supportive and encouraging. I think that my own belief that my son is going to get better and a lot of prayers help me go on. On and off when my son shows a little improvement, I get to see the child who can have a lot of potential and that helps me not to give up hope. I look at his old pictures with eyes full of shine and life and I know that my son is sick like many other kids who have different forms of illnesses and he needs treatment and he will get better. But most importantly, I joined this forum in June and I feel so much more stronger when I see that so many mothers are dealing with much more difficult situations for years and they have not given up. I also compare my life with people who have 2-3 kids with autism and their strength

inspires me. I hope this helps and God bless you and your child.is >> Hi Parents,> I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?> > Thank you> > mum of 4 yr old asd son>

[Guest guest]

LOVE LOVE LOVE this.

The mom IS crazy, btw....but we love her that way : )

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 7:16 PMSubject: Re: Re: How do you cope?

I don't know if you are religious at all, but you don't have to be in order to appreciate Mother Theresa's words (I find this very comforting FWIW!):Mother 's Anyway Poem People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;Give the world the best you've got anyway.

That being said my kids are in "regular" classes and we probably don't get too many "oh that kid is autistic" staresbut more the "that mom is a jerk to allow her kids to act like that" stares, or the people who deal with me probablythink "the kids are fine, the MOM is CRAZY!" LOL:::hugs:::In the past ten days, I had two therapists - who work with autistic kids - tell me that my kids were behaving the way theydo "for attention." It had me pretty pissed off then, and thinking about it makes me pissed off now!

Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents who just like every one want the best for our kids....

Thanks again

-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

[Guest guest]

Get on this internet and talk to us because no one understands like

us. It's horrible that we are more likely to get criticized than

praised by those who don't understand. I hate that they don't

understand, but like I said, we do, so come talk to us. We get it! And

I sure appreciate all my friends here!

Love and prayers,

Heidi N

Hi Parents,

I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children

will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2,

now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe

he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have

got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get

upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our

child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?

Thank you

mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

Love that poem. Thanks for the reminder. Thought I'd add another one I like, as well. Today, may there be peace within.May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.May you be content with yourself just the way you are.Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.It is there for each and every one of us.On Oct 16, 2011, at 7:16 PM, Toni Marie Lombardo wrote: I don't know if you are religious at all, but you don't have to be in order to appreciate Mother Theresa's words (I find this very comforting FWIW!):Mother 's Anyway Poem People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.That being said my kids are in "regular" classes and we probably don't get too many "oh that kid is autistic" staresbut more the "that mom is a jerk to allow her kids to act like that" stares, or the people who deal with me probably think "the kids are fine, the MOM is CRAZY!" LOL:::hugs:::In the past ten days, I had two therapists - who work with autistic kids - tell me that my kids were behaving the way theydo "for attention." It had me pretty pissed off then, and thinking about it makes me pissed off now! Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents who just like every one want the best for our kids.... Thanks again-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

[Guest guest]

Oh ...it is not easy this road we all walk..I am extremely sensitive person so the "stares" i used to get a lot ..not so often anymore...would destroy me. I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...oh it hurt so bad.

then I went thru a period of such hatred..I would find myself giving dirty looks that would turn people white.

hatred consumed my whole being. I hated that my son had suffered so much by the ignorance and predudice of docters. i hated that i had to esape my sons abusive father. i hated all the abuse and trauma of my own childhood.

and dont even get me started on the whole docter thing. (im still workin really hard on that one)

but the universe gives us all signs and we have to look and listen for them..and over and over I was told i needed to heal myself to heal my son.

ergo letting go of hatred. and that was sooooooo hard.

but I turned to God/higher power whatever it is that you call it...I started praying a lot.

and when i say a lot I mean I would wake up and ask God for the strength to make it thru that hour..and then the next hour i was praying non stop for God to get me thru that.

i would go to parks/stores and if you looked closely you could see me wispering God help me over and over..

I still have my moments but I am slowly healing and as i heal so is my son.

a year ago i was told he would have to be hospitalized because of his violence and dangerous behavior..

he woke up every two hours all night long in horrible gut pain..

he suffered failure to thrive..he was so very sick.

a year later i would say my boy is about 60 to 75 percent recovered.

what worked for me was andy cutler chelation..he was a responder from the begining

cutting out all grains...dairy soy..finding the diet that worked for him/

vitamins and supps..that is the three biggest things..

you gotta fight...you will fall down we all do...but you just get back up dust yourself off and pick up your shield and sword...

that is what warrior moms and dads do,

xoxo channa

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:32 PMSubject: How do you cope?

Hi Parents,I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?Thank you mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

yes love meeting other autism moms...i want to kiss them when i do!

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:50 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

I spend WAY more time with other people who have children with Autism. It's comforting and we don't get those looks from each other. Getting them as a group, we can laugh at it "Did you just see the face she made? Ha, that makes her look like a horse" kind of thing. For family, I keep visit to those who "get it" and limit the visits with those who don't. When we are at a plateau for a while, I change it up a bit, introduce a new skill, change supplements, new aromatherapy (not for Autism per se, just to feel different), and maybe a change of scenery for a few hours (we live near mountains so we drive 3 hours to the beach). My relatives quit commenting when I had them watch my kiddo for 2 hours while I met some old friends for coffee. When I feel like I'm losing the battle, I pull out the older videos/pictures and realize just how far we've come. I also call friends from my support group and get a pick-me-up

I hope this has helped.

[Guest guest]

oh love this poem..

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 8:55 PMSubject: Re: Re: How do you cope?

Love that poem. Thanks for the reminder. Thought I'd add another one I like, as well.

Today, may there be peace within.

May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.

May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content with yourself just the way you are.

Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

On Oct 16, 2011, at 7:16 PM, Toni Marie Lombardo wrote:

I don't know if you are religious at all, but you don't have to be in order to appreciate Mother Theresa's words (I find this very comforting FWIW!):Mother 's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;Give the world the best you've got anyway.

That being said my kids are in "regular" classes and we probably don't get too many "oh that kid is autistic" staresbut more the "that mom is a jerk to allow her kids to act like that" stares, or the people who deal with me probablythink "the kids are fine, the MOM is CRAZY!" LOL:::hugs:::In the past ten days, I had two therapists - who work with autistic kids - tell me that my kids were behaving the way theydo "for attention." It had me pretty pissed off then, and thinking about it makes me pissed off now!

Thank you so far to those who've given me strength and inspiration to move on and fight for my son. I feel a lot better... We are all great parents who just like every one want the best for our kids....

Thanks again

-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

[Guest guest]

I agree with the group being such a support...this group has been the greatest support and strength to me..

channa

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 8:33 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Get on this internet and talk to us because no one understands like us. It's horrible that we are more likely to get criticized than praised by those who don't understand. I hate that they don't understand, but like I said, we do, so come talk to us. We get it! And I sure appreciate all my friends here!Love and prayers,Heidi NHi Parents,I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?Thank youmum of 4 yr old asd

son

[Guest guest]

praying for you Channa.

Sara

>

> Oh ...it is not easy this road we all walk..I am extremely sensitive

person so the " stares " i used to get a lot ..not so often anymore...would

destroy me. I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library

in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some

soccer mom...oh it hurt so bad.

> Â then I went thru a period of such hatred..I would find myself giving dirty

looks that would turn people white.

> hatred consumed my whole being. I hated that my son had suffered so much by

the ignorance and predudice of docters. i hated that i had to esape my sonsÂ

abusive father. i hated all the abuse and trauma of my own childhood.

> and dont even get me started on the whole docter thing. (im still workin

really hard on that one)

> Â but the universe gives us all signs and we have to look and listen for

them..and over and over I was told i needed to heal myself to heal my son.

> ergo letting go of hatred. and that was sooooooo hard.

> but I turned to God/higher power whatever it is that you call it...I started

praying a lot.

> and when i say a lot I mean I would wake up and ask God for the strength to

make it thru that hour..and then the next hour i was praying non stop for God to

get me thru that.

> i would go to parks/stores and if you looked closely you could see me

wispering God help me over and over..

> IÂ still have my moments but I am slowly healing and as i heal so is my son.

> a year ago i was told he would have to be hospitalized because of his violence

and dangerous behavior..

> he woke up every two hours all night long in horrible gut pain..

> he suffered failure to thrive..he was so very sick.

> a year later i would say my boy is about 60 to 75 percent recovered.

> what worked for me was andy cutler chelation..he was a responder from the

begining

> cutting out all grains...dairy soy..finding the diet that worked for him/

> vitamins and supps..that is the three biggest things..

> you gotta fight...you will fall down we all do...but you just get back up dust

yourself off and pick up your shield and sword...

> that is what warrior moms and dads do,

> xoxo channa

> Â

> Â

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: mb12valtrex

> Sent: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:32 PM

> Subject: How do you cope?

>

>

> Â

> Hi Parents,

> I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will

get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's

turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly

improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say,

and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you

cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're

losing the battle?

>

> Thank you

>

> mum of 4 yr old asd son

>

[Guest guest]

Tammy! I already feel sorry for Alberta. God help both of us!

is

> >

> > Hi Parents,

> > I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will

get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's

turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly

improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say,

and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you

cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're

losing the battle?

> >

> > Thank you

> >

> > mum of 4 yr old asd son

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Very well said, Tammy. Don’t think about what anyone says. The only thing that matters is that you do what is best for your child. After dealing with autism for a while, nothing is embarrassing anymore. It is a tough road we travel and at times hard to stay positive. Best,Marcia

[Guest guest]

You know, my MIL (and SIL, for that matter, too) is one of these stupid f*cking a-holes you guys are describing. " ohhhh, I feel SOOOOOOO SORRRRRYYYYY for THOSE people with autism.... "   (she was talking about Temple Grandin)  I said to MIL, " Yo, dude, why do YOU feel sorry for Temple Grandin?  She's got a doctorate and has done MORE with her life than people like YOU and me...I don't feel sorry for her, why should you feel sorry for her? "

" ohhhh, I feel SOOOOOOO SAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD that MY grandchildren have autism "   (saying this while she comes over for her weekly hour-turned-into-an-eternity visit to go and pass judgement on everything, talk on and on and on and on and on about herself and then leave).  I'm clenching my fists because I just want to turn her ugly face into pulp.  She's rattling on about how she saw the Temple Grandin movie and now she's TELLING ME what autism is.  Um, ok, you NEVER interact with the children while you're over but I know that has nothing to do with autism or my children because honestly, no kids like to interact with my MIL because she's so haughty and boring and ugly.  In fact, adults don't even like to interact with my MIL and each year, my MIL holds these massive Christmas parties and they're only massive because she spends the entire f*cking year blackmailing people to go to these craptacular events. 

My MIL is such a f*cking bitch that someone actually put her on a no-fly list through the US.  She cannot change planes in the US, customs will detain her indefinitely if this 80 y.o. woman lands in the US.  Anywhere she flies to, she has to get a flight that won't stop over in the US...and I'm 100% certain that she's not a terrorist but she's just such a rude and haughty and dispicable individual that some stranger whom she met somewhere along the way hated her so much and she actually pissed someone off so much that the person actually took her down her passport info went through the trouble of putting her on a no-fly list. My MIL patrons the liquor store I work at a lot and my co-workers hate her, too.  They outright tell me that she's a b*tch.  Two of her four kids have stopped talking to her completely (it has nothing to do with her attitude towards my kids -- her own children have stopped talking to her since before my kids were born).  I told one of the guys I work with the story about how Shrinker (at my work, we call my MIL " Shrinker " -- you can use your imagination about why we call her that...) is on a no-fly list in the US and he just howled and said that he could totally imagine how it went down and she totally pissed someone off so much that they put her on this list.

Oh, you're " SOOOOOO SAAAAAAADDDDD " that my kids have autism?  If you want to be sad about something, TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.  But, I guess it's easier to feign that plastic sympathy at my kids than admit that people hate your guts because you're a sorry excuse for a human being.

Oh, some other things that she said...(to my husband) " Oh, you've had it SOOOOOOO HAAARRRRRDD the last four years... "   How the hell would Shrinker know how " hard " it is? And if one of my kids were having a " really hard " time with life, sure as hell I'd keep my trap shut about it and help them out.  Right?  Isn't that what any sane and normal human being would do for their children?  Has Shrinker lifted a single finger to help us?  No.  My FIL is 83 (he hates Shrinker, too, in fact he probably hates Shrinker more than I do) and drops in sometimes to say hi to the kids or to take Ethan out to the park.  Honestly, my husband and I think it's hard but no harder than raising typical children.

My daughter throws herself on the ground and has tantrums in public sometimes.  People look.  Big effing deal.  I stand there calmly and wait for her to have a pause in the tantrum and then re-direct to keep doing what we were going to do (we're sure as hell NOT going to avoid what we were going to do just because Maia had a tantrum -- avoiding what we were heading towards doing will only reinforce that she can use a tantrum to get out of things). 

Most people are cool with the fact that my kids have autism.  Even most strangers are.  I've had people who work at stores come over with a balloon while Maia is having a tantrum and they re-direct her with a balloon.  No one says they feel sorry for me.  And why should they?  I love my kids to bits, I'm happy, I have lots of fun with them, and I find them to be very likable little personalities.  So Shrinker and my witch of a SIL can go dry up.  My kids aren't the problem.  The problem is that those two are ugly human beings inside and out and they need to use my children's autism to make themselves feel better.  My almost 45 y.o. SIL gets bent out of shape when my daughter gets any attention from anyone and this grown woman has to go into attention-seeking mode to compete with my autistic 4 y.o. for attention!  I could write volumes about my SIL and her attempts to sabotage our biomed, too.  If you ask me, that's more pathetic than anything I can think of. 

I just leave whenever Shrinker comes over.  I don't return any of her calls.  If the mood strikes me, I literally just answer " yes or no " to her and I just walk away now.  No point in wasting valuable energy in talking to this waste-of-skin person.  I don't know why my husband still talks to her, but who am I to say whether or not he can talk to his mother?  Whatever.  Just whatever.  I don't listen to one word she has to say because everything she says is inconsequential.  She will not be able to do anything to recover my children.  She doesn't even know how to define autism, much less have an informed thought about biomed.  Shrinker can just go into a corner and dry up for all I care. 

 

Hi Parents,

I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?

Thank you

mum of 4 yr old asd son

[Guest guest]

I was just reading over what I wrote...sorry for all the profanities in my last post, BTW.  Shrinker brings that out in me...

[Guest guest]

@ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read.  I really respect your courage to stand up to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.

>> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or

park/library in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks

and stares of some soccer mom...I know these people you talk about.  They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know.  But then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to me.  I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives.  They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine.  Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...

/ " \ |\./| | | | | |>~<| | | /'\| |/'\..

/~\| | | | \ | =[@]= | | \ | | | | | \ | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` ) | / \ / \ /

\ _____ /

[Guest guest]

It's hard. My daughter is 3, and making slow and steady progress, but it's not

easy being out with her. I could go on and on about the embarrassing situations

we've been in. We have minimized social activities with friends, family, and

coworkers while we are focused on her recovery. So, I take her to our

neighborhood park a lot. We have tons of fun there together. The only

embarrassing thing she does there is go and sit with other families, but she is

little enough where they either smile or look away. I have adjusted to this new

normal, where I recently bought myself adult diapers,

loony-jealous-female-astronaut style, so I can stay at the park as long as she

wants, since our park does not have bathrooms. She has her diapers and I have

mine. But I tell you what put an immediate stop to my depression about autism:

Part of the autism evaluation at our Childrens Hospital is genetic testing. My

daughter has a couple mutations; for Juvenile Parkinson and Rett. It has

actually been months and months of genetic testing. We now know she won't get

Juvenile Parkinson, but the effects of the Rett gene mutation still need to be

determined with further testing. When I got on the Yahoo group for parents of

kids who have full-blown Rett, I saw a hell far worse than any autism hell could

be. I had to get off of that Yahoo group. Finding out about Rett immediately put

an end to my depression about autism. Autism, I can handle, but if the results

related to Rett syndrome, which we are still waiting on, end up being

unfavorable... well, let's say I don't want to think about that.

>

> Hi Parents,

> I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will

get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's

turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly

improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say,

and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you

cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're

losing the battle?

>

> Thank you

>

> mum of 4 yr old asd son

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm Rosetta from Australia Alberta you are sooo funny!

Love that you express yourself so Beautifully and your

artwork is something to be admired.

Thanks for expressing yourself

Rosetta

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Monday, 17 October 2011 5:41 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

@ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read. I really respect your courage to stand up to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.>> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...I know these people you talk about. They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know. But then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to

me. I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives. They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine. Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya... /"\ |\./| | | | | |>~<| | | /'\| |/'\..

/~\| | | | \ | =[@]= | | \ | | | | | \ | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` ) | / \ / \ /

\ _____ /

[Guest guest]

OMG, Alberta. roflmaoooooooooooooooooooo.

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 1:51 AMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

You know, my MIL (and SIL, for that matter, too) is one of these stupid f*cking a-holes you guys are describing."ohhhh, I feel SOOOOOOO SORRRRRYYYYY for THOSE people with autism...." (she was talking about Temple Grandin) I said to MIL, "Yo, dude, why do YOU feel sorry for Temple Grandin? She's got a doctorate and has done MORE with her life than people like YOU and me...I don't feel sorry for her, why should you feel sorry for her?""ohhhh, I feel SOOOOOOO SAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD that MY grandchildren have autism" (saying this while she comes over for her weekly hour-turned-into-an-eternity visit to go and pass judgement on everything, talk on and on and on and on and on about herself and then leave). I'm clenching my fists because I just want to turn her ugly face into pulp. She's rattling on about how she saw the Temple Grandin

movie and now she's TELLING ME what autism is. Um, ok, you NEVER interact with the children while you're over but I know that has nothing to do with autism or my children because honestly, no kids like to interact with my MIL because she's so haughty and boring and ugly. In fact, adults don't even like to interact with my MIL and each year, my MIL holds these massive Christmas parties and they're only massive because she spends the entire f*cking year blackmailing people to go to these craptacular events. My MIL is such a f*cking bitch that someone actually put her on a no-fly list through the US. She cannot change planes in the US, customs will detain her indefinitely if this 80 y.o. woman lands in the US. Anywhere she flies to, she has to get a flight that won't stop over in the US...and I'm 100% certain that she's not a terrorist but she's just such a rude and haughty and dispicable individual that some stranger

whom she met somewhere along the way hated her so much and she actually pissed someone off so much that the person actually took her down her passport info went through the trouble of putting her on a no-fly list. My MIL patrons the liquor store I work at a lot and my co-workers hate her, too. They outright tell me that she's a b*tch. Two of her four kids have stopped talking to her completely (it has nothing to do with her attitude towards my kids -- her own children have stopped talking to her since before my kids were born). I told one of the guys I work with the story about how Shrinker (at my work, we call my MIL "Shrinker" -- you can use your imagination about why we call her that...) is on a no-fly list in the US and he just howled and said that he could totally imagine how it went down and she totally pissed someone off so much that they put her on this list.Oh, you're "SOOOOOO SAAAAAAADDDDD" that my kids have

autism? If you want to be sad about something, TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR. But, I guess it's easier to feign that plastic sympathy at my kids than admit that people hate your guts because you're a sorry excuse for a human being.Oh, some other things that she said...(to my husband) "Oh, you've had it SOOOOOOO HAAARRRRRDD the last four years..." How the hell would Shrinker know how "hard" it is? And if one of my kids were having a "really hard" time with life, sure as hell I'd keep my trap shut about it and help them out. Right? Isn't that what any sane and normal human being would do for their children? Has Shrinker lifted a single finger to help us? No. My FIL is 83 (he hates Shrinker, too, in fact he probably hates Shrinker more than I do) and drops in sometimes to say hi to the kids or to take Ethan out to the park. Honestly, my husband and I think

it's hard but no harder than raising typical children.My daughter throws herself on the ground and has tantrums in public sometimes. People look. Big effing deal. I stand there calmly and wait for her to have a pause in the tantrum and then re-direct to keep doing what we were going to do (we're sure as hell NOT going to avoid what we were going to do just because Maia had a tantrum -- avoiding what we were heading towards doing will only reinforce that she can use a tantrum to get out of things). Most people are cool with the fact that my kids have autism. Even most strangers are. I've had people who work at stores come over with a balloon while Maia is having a tantrum and they re-direct her with a balloon. No one says they feel sorry for me. And why should they? I love my kids to bits, I'm happy, I have lots of fun with them, and I find them to be very likable little

personalities. So Shrinker and my witch of a SIL can go dry up. My kids aren't the problem. The problem is that those two are ugly human beings inside and out and they need to use my children's autism to make themselves feel better. My almost 45 y.o. SIL gets bent out of shape when my daughter gets any attention from anyone and this grown woman has to go into attention-seeking mode to compete with my autistic 4 y.o. for attention! I could write volumes about my SIL and her attempts to sabotage our biomed, too. If you ask me, that's more pathetic than anything I can think of. I just leave whenever Shrinker comes over. I don't return any of her calls. If the mood strikes me, I literally just answer "yes or no" to her and I just walk away now. No point in wasting valuable energy in talking to this waste-of-skin person. I don't know why my husband still talks to her, but who am I to

say whether or not he can talk to his mother? Whatever. Just whatever. I don't listen to one word she has to say because everything she says is inconsequential. She will not be able to do anything to recover my children. She doesn't even know how to define autism, much less have an informed thought about biomed. Shrinker can just go into a corner and dry up for all I care.

Hi Parents,I wonder how you stay strong and continue to believe that our children will get better. My son has been diagnosed with Autism since he was 2, now he's turning 4 years old. I have done lots of therapy and I believe he's slowly improving. Despite that relatives and friends always have got something to say, and as much as I don't want to be affected I get upset now and then. How do you cope with peoples stares, ( on our child)judgement or even when you feel you're losing the battle?Thank you mum of 4 yr old asd son