Re: How do you cope?

[Guest guest]

Hahaha!!!!!!Sent from my iPhone



?? Wait! You mean all these efforts aren't all about your kids wearing baggy-ass gangster styles??

Re: How do you cope?> > >  > @ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read. I really respect your courage to stand up to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.> > >> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...> I know these people you talk about. They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know. But then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to me. I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives. They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine. Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...> > /"\> |\./|> | |> | |> |>~<|> | |> /'\| |/'\..> /~\| | | | \> | =[@]= | | \> | | | | | \> | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` )> | /> \ /> \ /> \ _____ />

[Guest guest]

Girl, you and me, both.

<sigh>

xoxoxox

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 1:24 PMSubject: Re: Re: How do you cope?

Tammy,I'm two seconds from going native. Or 20k, maybe. LOL I am ready girl!!!

Every single bit of that rings with so much truth.

I have said a thousand times: "Why on earth would I want my kid to blend in with the rest of the world? The rest of the world sucks".

What I love most about our kids: They have no knowledge or concept of sheep mentality. They will not conform. Ever notice how crazy this drives people? Lmaoooooo....

Awesome post, .-- Toni------Mind like a steel trap...Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

[Guest guest]

Oh, this is so true. I have 7 kids and homeschool my last 2 being my almost 14

year old ds who is dyslexic and my autistic ds who 6-7

years ago I literally had to drive around in the car for 6 hours a day (no

exaggeration) just to stop him from screaming. My husband's still not truly on

board, but my kids are so happy without in school stress. What really decided

for me, sometime after I had started homeschooling was a feel good article in

our local paper about how great the high school special ed kids were doing. How

they had taught them " life skills " . wow-- I thought that was great!

As I read on I found that the life skills they had taught them were that they

could stick a price tag on something at age 17. I

thought WOW-- I'm pretty sure I could teach them to stick a price tag on

something by age 17 without all the IEP hassles, meltdowns,

cruel kids and everything else. Not too mention I couldn't think of any jobs

these days where you actually stick a price tag on anything! Granted-we live in

a terrible school district and with all the biomed we can't afford to move, so

this was the choice I made for us (realize it is not correct or possible for

everyone).

Tammy--you and have hit my feeling exactly. " What

about socialization? " If I hear that stupid question one more time---

they sound like a bunch of brainwashed robots--always the same question. Always

the same intonation. All I have to do is look around and say-- " You mean you want

them to be socialized like

that one? " I teach CCD (religious ed) at our church and have for about 9 years

now. My son is always in my class in case there is a problem and I have moved

up grades with him, (I know some would disagree that he should learn to duke

things out for himself but we all do what we feel is best for our own kids) so I

have seen many of the kids I have this year on and off. 5 of them are on ADD or

ADHD meds and are totally zoned out this year. Please don't take this as

criticism on these meds.

I don't ever judge anyone on what they have decided, and I'm not generally

against these meds if they're necessary. But I knew a lot of these kids in 2nd

grade, and I think they might be on these

just so they can sit still in school (Please-I'm not judging you if you have

your kids on these meds--like I said- we all need to do what we feel is best for

our own kids).

We also have " broken away " from almost everyone and I find when I'm not

overloaded with people and conversation, I find that God is here in the silence.

As much as I would love my kids to be healthy,

I really wouldn't trade all that I've found from God through this experience.

Some days I have to laugh-- I tell our priest, I feel like God said,

" Here you take these--stay in your house so you stay out of trouble. "

I think the best way to handle all this is to know that for every up there is

a down coming, but for every down an up is eventually coming also.

My older dd has had fifty five surgeries and the best advice I could give to

anyone is " Save your batteries " --Don't get too high in the highs because it's a

long fall when there is a low. If you can stay close to an even keel, it's so

much easier to deal with the next

ignorant person or biomed disaster---You know one is coming! We all know that

the different things we each choose are not always possible

or even beneficial for the rest. That is what is so great about this particualr

group. All is given for informational or support purposes, but I have found

NEVER EVER in judgement of anyone. Love and hugs to so many of you who have

helped us all maintain on a day to day basis without being judgemental.

Jackie

> >

> > Alberta,

> > Wow! your compliment is really just ..blows me away. Strong and

knowledgeable?

> > .. that means a lot coming from an amazing woman like yourself!  

never thought of myself as that ever! i usually beat myself up of bein

weak and not knowing enuff!  you were so right thou...autism has really

peeled away so much nonsense in my brain and spirit..like who gets to say what

is a successful person? and what is real? i mean most people like you said,are

so busy trying to fit a mold of normal because they dont know how to be

real..and they are always scared of being found out as less....so  they do

target anyone that they can cast judgement on..makes them feel better.

> > all these posts im reading tonight gonna make me cry..

> > this group is full of amazing brilliant strong  women and guys..Im strong

becuase you all give me strength and I am knowledgeable cuz of all you smarty

pants that share.

> > God has his angels on this group I just feel it !

> > xoxoxo channa

> >  

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: Alberta <gnomederwear@>

> > To: mb12valtrex

> > Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 2:41 AM

> > Subject: Re: How do you cope?

> >

> >

> >  

> > @ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable

people in many of the groups I've read.  I really respect your courage to

stand up to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and

your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has

made you a stronger and better person.

> >

> > >> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in

tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of

some soccer mom...

> > I know these people you talk about.  They think they're better moms than

us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow

their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know.  But then, again, I've

almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks

are nothing new to me.  I think this particular archetype you're talking

about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring

and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being

anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear

lives.  They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better

than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways

than they'll ever be able to imagine.  Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at

my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...

> >

> > / " \

> > |\./|

> > | |

> > | |

> > |>~<|

> > | |

> > /'\| |/'\..

> > /~\| | | | \

> > | =[@]= | | \

> > | | | | | \

> > | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` )

> > | /

> > \ /

> > \ /

> > \ _____ /

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much, Channa. I have read and re-read your post for encouragement.

>

> Mel...I believe ..that if we hold on to a picture of how we want to see out

child and really try to imagine how it feels to see our child this way..and pray

to your higher power that this is your childs future...i believe we can all heal

our kids..i dont believe in genetic testing I believe in God personally and that

he can do heal whatever he wants..

>  believe in miracles...have faith..believe in the good...anything can happen

[Guest guest]

I read this articlehttp://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/autisim-loving-him-is-the-easy-part/

[Guest guest]

Subject: Re: How do you cope?To: mb12valtrex Received: Wednesday, 19 October, 2011, 8:56 AMI read this articlehttp://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/autisim-loving-him-is-the-easy-part/

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing this story..

channa

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 5:56 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

I read this articlehttp://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/autisim-loving-him-is-the-easy-part/

[Guest guest]

"LIKE!"

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 3:49 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Oh, this is so true. I have 7 kids and homeschool my last 2 being my almost 14 year old ds who is dyslexic and my autistic ds who 6-7years ago I literally had to drive around in the car for 6 hours a day (no exaggeration) just to stop him from screaming. My husband's still not truly on board, but my kids are so happy without in school stress. What really decided for me, sometime after I had started homeschooling was a feel good article in our local paper about how great the high school special ed kids were doing. How they had taught them "life skills". wow-- I thought that was great!As I read on I found that the life skills they had taught them were that they could stick a price tag on something at age 17. I thought WOW-- I'm pretty sure I could teach them to stick a price tag on something by age 17 without all the IEP hassles, meltdowns,cruel kids and everything else. Not too mention I couldn't think of any jobs these days where you

actually stick a price tag on anything! Granted-we live in a terrible school district and with all the biomed we can't afford to move, so this was the choice I made for us (realize it is not correct or possible for everyone). Tammy--you and have hit my feeling exactly. "What about socialization?" If I hear that stupid question one more time---they sound like a bunch of brainwashed robots--always the same question. Always the same intonation. All I have to do is look around and say--"You mean you want them to be socialized like that one?" I teach CCD (religious ed) at our church and have for about 9 years now. My son is always in my class in case there is a problem and I have moved up grades with him, (I know some would disagree that he should learn to duke things out for himself but we all do what we feel is best for our own kids) so I have seen many of the kids I have this year on and off. 5 of them are on ADD or ADHD meds and

are totally zoned out this year. Please don't take this as criticism on these meds. I don't ever judge anyone on what they have decided, and I'm not generally against these meds if they're necessary. But I knew a lot of these kids in 2nd grade, and I think they might be on thesejust so they can sit still in school (Please-I'm not judging you if you have your kids on these meds--like I said- we all need to do what we feel is best for our own kids). We also have "broken away" from almost everyone and I find when I'm not overloaded with people and conversation, I find that God is here in the silence. As much as I would love my kids to be healthy,I really wouldn't trade all that I've found from God through this experience. Some days I have to laugh-- I tell our priest, I feel like God said,"Here you take these--stay in your house so you stay out of trouble."I think the best way to handle all this is to know that for every up there is

a down coming, but for every down an up is eventually coming also.My older dd has had fifty five surgeries and the best advice I could give to anyone is "Save your batteries"--Don't get too high in the highs because it's a long fall when there is a low. If you can stay close to an even keel, it's so much easier to deal with the next ignorant person or biomed disaster---You know one is coming! We all know that the different things we each choose are not always possibleor even beneficial for the rest. That is what is so great about this particualr group. All is given for informational or support purposes, but I have found NEVER EVER in judgement of anyone. Love and hugs to so many of you who have helped us all maintain on a day to day basis without being judgemental.Jackie> >> > Alberta, > > Wow! your compliment is really just ..blows me away. Strong and knowledgeable?> > .. that means a lot coming from an amazing woman like yourself!  never thought of myself as that ever! i usually beat myself up of bein weak and not knowing enuff! you were so right thou...autism has really peeled away so much nonsense in my brain and spirit..like who gets to say what is a successful person? and what is real? i mean most people like you said,are so busy

trying to fit a mold of normal because they dont know how to be real..and they are always scared of being found out as less....so  they do target anyone that they can cast judgement on..makes them feel better.> > all these posts im reading tonight gonna make me cry..> > this group is full of amazing brilliant strong women and guys..Im strong becuase you all give me strength and I am knowledgeable cuz of all you smarty pants that share.> > God has his angels on this group I just feel it !> > xoxoxo channa> >  > > > > > > ________________________________> > From: Alberta <gnomederwear@>> > To: mb12valtrex > > Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 2:41 AM>

> Subject: Re: How do you cope?> > > > > >  > > @ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read. I really respect your courage to stand up to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.> > > > >> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...> > I know these people you talk about. They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know. But

then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to me. I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives. They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine. Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...> > > > /"\> > |\./|> > | |> > | |> > |>~<|> > | |> > /'\| |/'\..> > /~\| | | | \> > | =[@]= | | \> > | | | | | \> > | ~ ~ ~ ~ |`

)> > | /> > \ /> > \ /> > \ _____ /> >>

[Guest guest]

"like"

To: "mb12valtrex " <mb12valtrex >Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 1:18 PMSubject: Re: Re: How do you cope?

Every single bit of that rings with so much truth.

I have said a thousand times: "Why on earth would I want my kid to blend in with the rest of the world? The rest of the world sucks".

What I love most about our kids: They have no knowledge or concept of sheep mentality. They will not conform. Ever notice how crazy this drives people? Lmaoooooo....

Awesome post, .

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 12:28 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Yes Channa, strong and knowledgeable!! Honestly a day doesn't go by that I am not grateful and amazed and in awe at the strength and knowledge of all of you women out there. I think we feel so weak often because we are under such great strain. But like steel tempered by heating and beating in the fire, we can come out stronger in fits and starts. That being said, for me, there are the more thin or transparent times, when I can't take it anymore and terrible, dooming thoughts fill my mind. I am learning to have compassion for myself then. To forgive myself of any guilt or for wavering in exhaustion. And to allow myself the time to not 'do' anything- to not to anything 'right' or 'best', and to just get through the days and be alright with that. Everyone has said so much and I have been strengthened by reading all of these posts. I also could talk for hours on how spirituality has helped. But I am thinking at the moment about a very practical

thing to do over time. That is to leave the old and create the new. We moved far away from family instinctually and this has been the best thing we ever did. They were not helpful and even the phone conversations make me ill, so I chucked my cell phone (gladly and then found out that it is recommended in the Klinghardt protocol!) and when prodded after this kept saying, nicely, 'surprise, surprise, I am not home very often so am hard to catch there, Mom and sis!'. Seriously, my first obligation is to my health and my family's health, including mental health, so I am getting quite strong in my resolution to kick out anything- literally anything, that takes away from this ability. One thing I've done is to really just generally not be around people who might judge. I don't go to playgrounds anymore. They drive me completely nuts. I would rather stick a hot poker in both of my eyes than go to a playground. So last Spring we bought a small, cheap

metal swingset and the girls love it. We invite people over who I know are kind and decent and won't spend the whole visit fighting over swings or playing cops and robbers or otherwise doing things that will drive my Aspie Mia into a series of screaming, crying fits.I don't go to regular grocery stores anymore either. I only go to small health food stores (in our area the prices are cheaper), use buying clubs (very cheap, and where at pick up I meet other health minded people), and when I have to, go to stores like Whole Foods. I know this isn't an option for everyone everywhere. The last time I went to a regular store, I looked and looked and finally said to my husband, 'Do they even have food in here?' Everything was so packaged and processed. I invest a lot of energy into make friends with farmers and trade labor for food. I try to learn my local area and harvest wild edibles, and grow as much food as I can. Again, I know these things aren't

available for everyone everwhere- we are finding ourselves in a virtual eden of food here in Portland, Oregon. But my point is, I isolate myself from obnoxious, white bread, judgemental people and find any possible resources I can in the health community. In my experience, people in the health community don't even see 'Autistic'- especially not as a 'behavioral' or 'psychiatric' condition. Most of the time all I have to say is 'Mia is recovering from Aspergers' and folks shake their heads and start to talk about all of the issues we are so entrenched in here. Hanging out with these people takes me out of the trenches and onto main street. There is an enormous movement of people convinced that our world is poisoned and that this poisoning is causing all of these health problems. We also don't do school. We tried it for a week for Mia this year as she hit kindergarten age. She started hitting herself all night and chewing her collars to bits. It

was too much social stress for her. I have a picture of her that the school took during that week, and it makes me cry everytime I see it. She was dying. So we embraced and dove into the homeschooling community. We found like minded people, many also with 'special needs' kids, and found an education style, Waldorf, that supports teaching only to developmental stages, teaching the whole child, and within the whole family. All of the Waldorf resources we need are free and we've really turned our whole house around to this nice, comforting, supportive place where we do things as we can each day while supporting one another. When the spikes of bad days (or weeks, or months) come, it is from this foundation that we can with confidence just drop everything and force drinking or eating or PT or a whole new protocol whatever will help us get through it. I know also that not everyone can do this either, but getting back to the main point I am trying to

say- We are slowly but steadily creating a world where I don't see miss Soccer Mom with new tight jeans on (who can afford new clothes when doing biomed?!) happily shoving chicken nuggets and some orange freezy things into her kids' mouth with apparently no repercussions. One simple thing I do as a general rule is not go out when really busy mainstream people are out. No grocery shopping at 3:30. I'll go at 7 or 8 pm if I can't go in the morning. No out to dinner (we can't afford it or eat most of it anyway) at 6pm. If we can go to a place, we get there right at 5pm on the odd day that is possible, and that's that. We leave just as miss smarty pants and her charming husband and their flock are showing up.I just generally try to lessen my exposure to 'normal' people. It is funny, after doing this for a while, I go to the regular grocery store and I am overwhelmed to realize that all of these normal people are actually quite ill. The last

time I went to said Safeway, I saw kids that were bloated with dark circles under their eyes, a mom who was seriously anorexic, and I stood in line behind a guy who literally reaked of the smell my husband used to have when he had a tapeworm. The smell left my husband the day he passed the tapeworm. So there I was in line behind this average football dad, he had his beer and his coke and his milk and steak and his pretzels (all things my husband craved when he had his tapeworm- although he had given them up excepting pretzels), and I am also looking around seeing the anorexic trophy wife and the bloated allergic kids eating something sugery and dyed while fingering some electronic device, and it all just hit me and at once and I thought of the most amusing idea- wouldn't it be great if I could turn to football dad and say 'Hey, good to meet you. You know, I just wanted to tell you, in case you are interested, you have probably about a 3 foot tapeworm in

you, at least, I would say? And you can treat it and feel much better and not smell so awful anymore' And that made me laugh a pretty good laugh, and so I headed out of the store feeling like some sort of wizzard amidst the uninitiated masses instead of some sort of broken, defeated idiot. I see sick people. That is my superpower.And we all have superpowers here.So the last thing I have done practically along these lines is to just completely dive in and immerse myself in everything I can to gain knowledge in health and healing. And while doing this, I heal myself (and my husband) so that I can be stronger in healing my daughter. It was hard to come to the realization that my illness had in large part caused my daughter's illness, but it has (albeit exacerbated by environment and even 'delayed and selective' vaccination- GRRRRR to that notion of safety! Damn you Dr. Sears, shame on you). And the day I realized this, I started taking on

healing my inflammation and my viruses and my metals and my parasites too. And this has brought increased vitality and strength and mental clarity that I have not known my whole life. So while we still see setbacks in Mia's issues, and go through bawling waves of sadness each time we 'lose her' a little briefly again- when yeast or metals or something else spikes, I now am no longer frankly mentally ill (brain fog, cyclic hormones) and I can handle it better. Not that it is ever easy, but it doesn't throw me into the depths of despair.So to add to the brilliant wisdom that everyone has shared, I repeat a little and champion also focusing on two things- PROTECT yourself, and HEAL yourself. Now hopefully I can hold onto this advice myself through the next tough time!!!!!!!! It gets increasingly easy. . . . Love to you and to all of us and our kids, love love love love,:) Oh, and I agree on the fear of being

less thing and how most people in mainstream are just trying so hard to fit into something at the sake of their own selves. I see this everytime someone mainstreamy finds out we don't watch TV. I never say it with judgement, usually I kindly say it apologetically. The first thing out of everyone's lips are all of these defensive things, sometimes attacking things. The inner judgement is there and me being different pulls it out and an unexmained gut reaction is just to degredate their own selves or me. I think everyone has a little terror in them concerning vaccines. And they had to override this natural terror by creating some strong front of reason, and to see an Autistic child, which they may have vaguely heard might be related to vaccines, it stirs up a lot of fear and defense. They want to blame the parent or genetics or some other magic thing that will insulate and protect them from it. Heavens, I have yarned on long enough and still not

said in great measure what I meant. . . .>> Alberta, > Wow! your compliment is really just ..blows me away. Strong and knowledgeable?> .. that means a lot coming from an amazing woman like yourself!  never thought of myself as that ever! i usually beat myself up of bein weak and not knowing enuff! you were so right thou...autism has really peeled away so much nonsense in my brain and spirit..like who gets to say what is a successful person? and what is real? i mean most people like you said,are so busy trying to fit a mold of normal because they dont know how to be real..and they are always scared of being found out as less....so  they do target anyone that they

can cast judgement on..makes them feel better.> all these posts im reading tonight gonna make me cry..> this group is full of amazing brilliant strong women and guys..Im strong becuase you all give me strength and I am knowledgeable cuz of all you smarty pants that share.> God has his angels on this group I just feel it !> xoxoxo channa>  > > > ________________________________> > To: mb12valtrex > Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 2:41 AM> Subject: Re: How do you cope?> > >  > @ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read. I really respect your courage to stand up

to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.> > >> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...> I know these people you talk about. They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know. But then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to me. I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being

anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives. They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine. Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...> > /"\> |\./|> | |> | |> |>~<|> | |> /'\| |/'\..> /~\| | | | \> | =[@]= | | \> | | | | | \> | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` )> | /> \ /> \ /> \ _____ />

[Guest guest]

Oh my God this cracked me up so bad! the part about informing football dad about his tapeworm...so funny..yes the wizard part ...i think that we may be that!

I am a bit empathic so i really feel peoples thoughts...makes it really hard to go out sometimes never mind my autistic son...and i see most people so full of apathy and anger..this is not normal?

I think the toxic world is getting to people ..maybe not with autism but with mental issues...

I put an ad for a respit worker for my son and i get calls from young twenty year old girls just sounding so tired and not happy...out of twenty responses two girls actually sounded like they had the energy to take my son to the park. wow.

your post is so profound..I totally dig the whole making our own safe space thing...and also the whole making ourselves healthy so we can heal our kids..i am on a fast day eight..im so proud..doin it for health and for spirit guidance...

i see you also met the same soccer mom lol

and the whole vaccine thing...it makes sense.. no one wants to believe there careful structured reality is being threatened..they cant handle it and they respond with venom.

ah sheep..silly silly sheep

this thread has been truely empowering to me ..every single post has touched me so deeply made me cry and made me laugh out loud..you guys are amazing !

xoxo channa

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 12:28 PMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Yes Channa, strong and knowledgeable!! Honestly a day doesn't go by that I am not grateful and amazed and in awe at the strength and knowledge of all of you women out there. I think we feel so weak often because we are under such great strain. But like steel tempered by heating and beating in the fire, we can come out stronger in fits and starts. That being said, for me, there are the more thin or transparent times, when I can't take it anymore and terrible, dooming thoughts fill my mind. I am learning to have compassion for myself then. To forgive myself of any guilt or for wavering in exhaustion. And to allow myself the time to not 'do' anything- to not to anything 'right' or 'best', and to just get through the days and be alright with that. Everyone has said so much and I have been strengthened by reading all of these posts. I also could talk for hours on how spirituality has helped. But I am thinking at the moment about a very practical

thing to do over time. That is to leave the old and create the new. We moved far away from family instinctually and this has been the best thing we ever did. They were not helpful and even the phone conversations make me ill, so I chucked my cell phone (gladly and then found out that it is recommended in the Klinghardt protocol!) and when prodded after this kept saying, nicely, 'surprise, surprise, I am not home very often so am hard to catch there, Mom and sis!'. Seriously, my first obligation is to my health and my family's health, including mental health, so I am getting quite strong in my resolution to kick out anything- literally anything, that takes away from this ability. One thing I've done is to really just generally not be around people who might judge. I don't go to playgrounds anymore. They drive me completely nuts. I would rather stick a hot poker in both of my eyes than go to a playground. So last Spring we bought a small, cheap

metal swingset and the girls love it. We invite people over who I know are kind and decent and won't spend the whole visit fighting over swings or playing cops and robbers or otherwise doing things that will drive my Aspie Mia into a series of screaming, crying fits.I don't go to regular grocery stores anymore either. I only go to small health food stores (in our area the prices are cheaper), use buying clubs (very cheap, and where at pick up I meet other health minded people), and when I have to, go to stores like Whole Foods. I know this isn't an option for everyone everywhere. The last time I went to a regular store, I looked and looked and finally said to my husband, 'Do they even have food in here?' Everything was so packaged and processed. I invest a lot of energy into make friends with farmers and trade labor for food. I try to learn my local area and harvest wild edibles, and grow as much food as I can. Again, I know these things aren't

available for everyone everwhere- we are finding ourselves in a virtual eden of food here in Portland, Oregon. But my point is, I isolate myself from obnoxious, white bread, judgemental people and find any possible resources I can in the health community. In my experience, people in the health community don't even see 'Autistic'- especially not as a 'behavioral' or 'psychiatric' condition. Most of the time all I have to say is 'Mia is recovering from Aspergers' and folks shake their heads and start to talk about all of the issues we are so entrenched in here. Hanging out with these people takes me out of the trenches and onto main street. There is an enormous movement of people convinced that our world is poisoned and that this poisoning is causing all of these health problems. We also don't do school. We tried it for a week for Mia this year as she hit kindergarten age. She started hitting herself all night and chewing her collars to bits. It

was too much social stress for her. I have a picture of her that the school took during that week, and it makes me cry everytime I see it. She was dying. So we embraced and dove into the homeschooling community. We found like minded people, many also with 'special needs' kids, and found an education style, Waldorf, that supports teaching only to developmental stages, teaching the whole child, and within the whole family. All of the Waldorf resources we need are free and we've really turned our whole house around to this nice, comforting, supportive place where we do things as we can each day while supporting one another. When the spikes of bad days (or weeks, or months) come, it is from this foundation that we can with confidence just drop everything and force drinking or eating or PT or a whole new protocol whatever will help us get through it. I know also that not everyone can do this either, but getting back to the main point I am trying to

say- We are slowly but steadily creating a world where I don't see miss Soccer Mom with new tight jeans on (who can afford new clothes when doing biomed?!) happily shoving chicken nuggets and some orange freezy things into her kids' mouth with apparently no repercussions. One simple thing I do as a general rule is not go out when really busy mainstream people are out. No grocery shopping at 3:30. I'll go at 7 or 8 pm if I can't go in the morning. No out to dinner (we can't afford it or eat most of it anyway) at 6pm. If we can go to a place, we get there right at 5pm on the odd day that is possible, and that's that. We leave just as miss smarty pants and her charming husband and their flock are showing up.I just generally try to lessen my exposure to 'normal' people. It is funny, after doing this for a while, I go to the regular grocery store and I am overwhelmed to realize that all of these normal people are actually quite ill. The last

time I went to said Safeway, I saw kids that were bloated with dark circles under their eyes, a mom who was seriously anorexic, and I stood in line behind a guy who literally reaked of the smell my husband used to have when he had a tapeworm. The smell left my husband the day he passed the tapeworm. So there I was in line behind this average football dad, he had his beer and his coke and his milk and steak and his pretzels (all things my husband craved when he had his tapeworm- although he had given them up excepting pretzels), and I am also looking around seeing the anorexic trophy wife and the bloated allergic kids eating something sugery and dyed while fingering some electronic device, and it all just hit me and at once and I thought of the most amusing idea- wouldn't it be great if I could turn to football dad and say 'Hey, good to meet you. You know, I just wanted to tell you, in case you are interested, you have probably about a 3 foot tapeworm in

you, at least, I would say? And you can treat it and feel much better and not smell so awful anymore' And that made me laugh a pretty good laugh, and so I headed out of the store feeling like some sort of wizzard amidst the uninitiated masses instead of some sort of broken, defeated idiot. I see sick people. That is my superpower.And we all have superpowers here.So the last thing I have done practically along these lines is to just completely dive in and immerse myself in everything I can to gain knowledge in health and healing. And while doing this, I heal myself (and my husband) so that I can be stronger in healing my daughter. It was hard to come to the realization that my illness had in large part caused my daughter's illness, but it has (albeit exacerbated by environment and even 'delayed and selective' vaccination- GRRRRR to that notion of safety! Damn you Dr. Sears, shame on you). And the day I realized this, I started taking on

healing my inflammation and my viruses and my metals and my parasites too. And this has brought increased vitality and strength and mental clarity that I have not known my whole life. So while we still see setbacks in Mia's issues, and go through bawling waves of sadness each time we 'lose her' a little briefly again- when yeast or metals or something else spikes, I now am no longer frankly mentally ill (brain fog, cyclic hormones) and I can handle it better. Not that it is ever easy, but it doesn't throw me into the depths of despair.So to add to the brilliant wisdom that everyone has shared, I repeat a little and champion also focusing on two things- PROTECT yourself, and HEAL yourself. Now hopefully I can hold onto this advice myself through the next tough time!!!!!!!! It gets increasingly easy. . . . Love to you and to all of us and our kids, love love love love,:) Oh, and I agree on the fear of being

less thing and how most people in mainstream are just trying so hard to fit into something at the sake of their own selves. I see this everytime someone mainstreamy finds out we don't watch TV. I never say it with judgement, usually I kindly say it apologetically. The first thing out of everyone's lips are all of these defensive things, sometimes attacking things. The inner judgement is there and me being different pulls it out and an unexmained gut reaction is just to degredate their own selves or me. I think everyone has a little terror in them concerning vaccines. And they had to override this natural terror by creating some strong front of reason, and to see an Autistic child, which they may have vaguely heard might be related to vaccines, it stirs up a lot of fear and defense. They want to blame the parent or genetics or some other magic thing that will insulate and protect them from it. Heavens, I have yarned on long enough and still not

said in great measure what I meant. . . .>> Alberta, > Wow! your compliment is really just ..blows me away. Strong and knowledgeable?> .. that means a lot coming from an amazing woman like yourself!  never thought of myself as that ever! i usually beat myself up of bein weak and not knowing enuff! you were so right thou...autism has really peeled away so much nonsense in my brain and spirit..like who gets to say what is a successful person? and what is real? i mean most people like you said,are so busy trying to fit a mold of normal because they dont know how to be real..and they are always scared of being found out as less....so  they do target anyone that they

can cast judgement on..makes them feel better.> all these posts im reading tonight gonna make me cry..> this group is full of amazing brilliant strong women and guys..Im strong becuase you all give me strength and I am knowledgeable cuz of all you smarty pants that share.> God has his angels on this group I just feel it !> xoxoxo channa>  > > > ________________________________> > To: mb12valtrex > Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 2:41 AM> Subject: Re: How do you cope?> > >  > @ Channa: Honestly, you're one of the strongest and most knowledgeable people in many of the groups I've read. I really respect your courage to stand up

to that abusive jerk guy...and honestly, I think your situation and your son has brought out the absolute best in you and it sounds as though it has made you a stronger and better person.> > >> I cant tell you how many times I would leave a store or park/library in tears...not becuase of  my son but of the cruel smirks and stares of some soccer mom...> I know these people you talk about. They think they're better moms than us because they're all up to date on their children's vaccine schedules, follow their pediatrician's advice to the letter...I know. But then, again, I've almost always walked around with a shaved head and camo pants, so these looks are nothing new to me. I think this particular archetype you're talking about is uninteresting and they're like that because they know they're boring and uninteresting people, so they have to try to make people feel bad for being

anything out of the ordinary because they cling to the ordinary for their dear lives. They use this as a way of telling themselves that they are better than me, but I already know I lead a more fun and fulfilling life in more ways than they'll ever be able to imagine. Hey, you, chicky poo with the smirk at my ASD kids, I got somethin' for ya...> > /"\> |\./|> | |> | |> |>~<|> | |> /'\| |/'\..> /~\| | | | \> | =[@]= | | \> | | | | | \> | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` )> | /> \ /> \ /> \ _____ />

[Guest guest]

toxic familys is probably the hardest thing for me to deal with out of everything...i can totally relate.

To: mb12valtrex Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 10:17 AMSubject: Re: How do you cope?

Not easily. My son is 9 years old and I'm still trying my hardest to get him well. We have made some amazing progress but I'm constantly reminded how quickly he can slide back from the slightest insult to his fragile system. I have lost my relationships with my entire family (except my husband who understands - thank God). The rest of my family members refuse to accept any of my son's diagnosis which have been ADHD, ODD, PDD-NOS and LD. They have made it known that the only reasons for his issues must be due poor parenting. They also think I'm nuts and depriving my child by doing dietary interventions and have gone behind my back sneaking him junk food every chance they got. My son still gets sick often so they say "obviously your diet and vitamins don't work" (CLUELESS!). On top of all this my son resents me for fighting with them constantly. He is an only child and wants to spend time with his extended family but can't due to their

ignorance. I haven't met anyone in our area with a child my son's age who is on a healthy diet. His friends all eat unlimited junk food. My son asks me why they drink soda and eat candy and don't get sick? This is not an easy path in life that we've been given, that's for sure. The stress of it all has caused me to develop my own slew of medical issues. Some of the worst days for me have been when we are both sick at the same time. Although, I have my husband's support he doesn't have the intuition that I have to know what my child needs when he is sick so I have to get up and do it no matter how bad I'm feeling myself. I have to believe that there is a reason for everything and that some day my child will be happy and healthy and able to understand. And I know for a fact how much worse off my child would be if I wasn't doing interventions. That's what keeps me going. And of course, my online groups, I'm sure I would have lost my mind

without them :-}