Guest guest Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 Hi everyone, First, let me say that I'm really happy to find this group as a secondary support to the therapy I have been receiving. I have browsed several messages and they have validated me very much! It has brought tears to my eyes bc I'm sad that others have had to go through what I have but also tears of joy bc finally, someone might understand what I have gone through. I'm an adult child of a BPD mother- or at least, she has BPD tendencies and must have full on NPD- no formal diagnosis. It's been like living on a roller coaster my entire life. I have a younger sister- we are both in our late 20s- I've been in therapy for almost a year now, my sister is about to start. I have spent a lot of time reflecting and I am bombarded with memories of neglect that I blocked out (PTSD?) My parents divorced when we were young and my mom left us- 2 little girls (Thankfully we have an amazing father). After she left, we were still expected to be around for her convenience.. and her image. We have been used and abused- neglected- blackmailed- judged- criticized- name called- the works. She still does this to my sister but not me anymore- 6 weeks ago I told her no more. I haven't spoken to her since February 4th. She still calls and emails- pretends she doesn't understand or doesn't remember our conversation. Nevertheless, I feel like I can really start my life now- I want to heal...I also hope my sister can find her way too- I'm really looking forward to sharing. Thanks, Struggler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Welcome Struggler, Yes, I too found that reading books about bpd and joining support Groups like this one really helped take away some of the misplaced, inappropriate feelings of guilt I carried. I grew up believing it was my fault that my mother was so irritable with me so often, it was my fault that she would trigger into terrifying screaming rages, and it was somehow my fault that she would switch back and forth between being hyper-controlling/smothering and then rejecting. It helped remove some of that misplaced guilt to discover that my mother's behaviors were actually due to her having a genuine, severe mental disorder, and that there are other people who understand my childhood because they experienced uncannily similar treatment themselves. Welcome to the Group. Its good to have companions on the road to discovering our authentic selves, as we recover from the damage and seek peace and healing. -Annie > > Hi everyone, > > First, let me say that I'm really happy to find this group as a secondary support to the therapy I have been receiving. I have browsed several messages and they have validated me very much! It has brought tears to my eyes bc I'm sad that others have had to go through what I have but also tears of joy bc finally, someone might understand what I have gone through. > > I'm an adult child of a BPD mother- or at least, she has BPD tendencies and must have full on NPD- no formal diagnosis. It's been like living on a roller coaster my entire life. I have a younger sister- we are both in our late 20s- I've been in therapy for almost a year now, my sister is about to start. > > I have spent a lot of time reflecting and I am bombarded with memories of neglect that I blocked out (PTSD?) My parents divorced when we were young and my mom left us- 2 little girls (Thankfully we have an amazing father). After she left, we were still expected to be around for her convenience.. and her image. We have been used and abused- neglected- blackmailed- judged- criticized- name called- the works. She still does this to my sister but not me anymore- 6 weeks ago I told her no more. I haven't spoken to her since February 4th. She still calls and emails- pretends she doesn't understand or doesn't remember our conversation. Nevertheless, I feel like I can really start my life now- I want to heal...I also hope my sister can find her way too- I'm really looking forward to sharing. > > Thanks, Struggler > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2012 Report Share Posted March 25, 2012 Welcome, and good for you for cutting off contact. It's great that you have your sister to get through it with. My brother has been very helpful in validating my experience of our BPD/NPD nada and NPD fada (yeah, we totally hit the jackpot). Many books and this group have brought enormous relief and clarity for me as well. It's so cathartic to understand what's really wrong in my life- like AA, recognizing the problem is the biggest hurdle. I have so much work to do in taking ownership of my identity and learning to live in the world with other people, but at least I know what I'm up against. After a lifetime of struggling blindly with misery I couldn't understand or identify, I can now define the problem. Getting away from your nada and setting limits is a big step and I hope it's given you some peace. You sound like you're very strong already, and you have a great attitude after what you've been through. > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > First, let me say that I'm really happy to find this group as a secondary support to the therapy I have been receiving. I have browsed several messages and they have validated me very much! It has brought tears to my eyes bc I'm sad that others have had to go through what I have but also tears of joy bc finally, someone might understand what I have gone through. > > > > I'm an adult child of a BPD mother- or at least, she has BPD tendencies and must have full on NPD- no formal diagnosis. It's been like living on a roller coaster my entire life. I have a younger sister- we are both in our late 20s- I've been in therapy for almost a year now, my sister is about to start. > > > > I have spent a lot of time reflecting and I am bombarded with memories of neglect that I blocked out (PTSD?) My parents divorced when we were young and my mom left us- 2 little girls (Thankfully we have an amazing father). After she left, we were still expected to be around for her convenience.. and her image. We have been used and abused- neglected- blackmailed- judged- criticized- name called- the works. She still does this to my sister but not me anymore- 6 weeks ago I told her no more. I haven't spoken to her since February 4th. She still calls and emails- pretends she doesn't understand or doesn't remember our conversation. Nevertheless, I feel like I can really start my life now- I want to heal...I also hope my sister can find her way too- I'm really looking forward to sharing. > > > > Thanks, Struggler > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 Welcome Struggler! > > Hi everyone, > > First, let me say that I'm really happy to find this group as a secondary support to the therapy I have been receiving. I have browsed several messages and they have validated me very much! It has brought tears to my eyes bc I'm sad that others have had to go through what I have but also tears of joy bc finally, someone might understand what I have gone through. > > I'm an adult child of a BPD mother- or at least, she has BPD tendencies and must have full on NPD- no formal diagnosis. It's been like living on a roller coaster my entire life. I have a younger sister- we are both in our late 20s- I've been in therapy for almost a year now, my sister is about to start. > > I have spent a lot of time reflecting and I am bombarded with memories of neglect that I blocked out (PTSD?) My parents divorced when we were young and my mom left us- 2 little girls (Thankfully we have an amazing father). After she left, we were still expected to be around for her convenience.. and her image. We have been used and abused- neglected- blackmailed- judged- criticized- name called- the works. She still does this to my sister but not me anymore- 6 weeks ago I told her no more. I haven't spoken to her since February 4th. She still calls and emails- pretends she doesn't understand or doesn't remember our conversation. Nevertheless, I feel like I can really start my life now- I want to heal...I also hope my sister can find her way too- I'm really looking forward to sharing. > > Thanks, Struggler > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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