Re: the lunch that wasn't /Annie

[Guest guest]

Annie, YES - it's interesting you mentioned staying on my guard.

I very much anticipate that the peace summit we had was no such thing. I know

she will pelting me with zingers, nasty shots at me or what I said in my letter,

etc. I called her this morning to check on her and asked her how she was

feeling, she did her waify sigh and said, " well, as good as I can be, I

suppose... "

I know that both she and my brother are going to make me pay for shutting them

out for over a month. Nothing says love like revenge!!

> >

> > Just saw nada and had a " heart to heart talk " without my brother present; i

was so glad I got her alone.

> >

> > I'll spare you the details but we did talk...I guess.

> >

> > She asked me to not write her again, but to talk to her openly. I almost

laughed!! I said, " mom, it is very, very hard to talk to you. when I do try to

talk to you, you freeze me out. " She said, " well, i'm sure we can meet

halfway. " I still don't know what that means.

> >

> > The whole conversation was a blend of small talk, her office gossip, and

occasional references to my letter, I think she felt very uncomfortable talking

about it.

> >

> > What pissed me off was she brought my brother up; she said, " you know, no

matter how you feel about me, I wish you'd leave your brother out of it. " I

said, " I agree completely. This has nothing to do with him. he was SO worried

about me, he called me THREE times today. "   I swear, they should just get

married.

> >

> > Then she quotes him, " like your brother says, 'there's just the 3 of us

now... "

> >

> > Um what about my husband and kids????? I didn't say that. I kept my mouth

shut. What's the point? She wouldn't get it anyway.

> >

> > Bottom line, it was a very peaceful, unsatisfactory conversation, only b/c

it was so unauthentic. Real emotions weren't discussed. My T was right: she is

unable to " go there. "

> >

> > Our conversation had been going very well, so well that I didn't want to

bring up that I only wanted to talk once a week. I didn't want to risk ruining

it all. But I thought, " screw it, I have to say it. "

> >

> > So I did. I told her I'm going to call you once a week. Of course, call me

if you have an emergency. " She just said, ok, but I am sure, so sure, that she

will be calling me every other day anyway...I have to stick to my boundary. I

have to, for my own sake.

> >

> >