I never put this together before...

[Guest guest]

It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become really

carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

(Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that determines if

the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents are caused by

drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage while at the

wheel?)

BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated. There was

no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with anticipatory

anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no choice; if my

parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that the whole

idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on other

things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery rushing

past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty while

on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day visiting

one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm

pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the

other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And

dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip

was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different nutritional

needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past infancy); I

was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee when they

needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just didn't

care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual needs and

feelings.

Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

Annie,

That makes sense to me. Maybe one or more of the other factors

contributed too, but the idea that your carsickness was caused

by anxiety sounds like a reasonable theory to me, especially

since the problem went away when you learned to drive yourself.

I like the idea of driver's exams that check for BPD. Too bad it

isn't likely to happen. People whose emotions aren't under

control are too easily distracted by their own thoughts. My nada

has stopped driving, but her driving scared me for a long time.

Her judgement and level of attention were both problems. She

loves her cell phone and talking on it made her driving even

worse.

Expecting young children to sit in a car for hours without food

or drink or bathroom stops is not reasonable, and could reach a

level that is abusive.

At 10:57 AM 03/30/2012 anuria67854 wrote:

>It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency

>to become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do

>with my nada.

>

>As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up

>as torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was

>within striking distance of my nada and she would so often

>become enraged with me while driving. If she became angry

>while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

>sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she

>got really batshit screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt

>to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by driving

>into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

>

>(Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam

>that determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me

>wonder how many accidents are caused by drivers who have

>personality disorder and are in a screaming rage while at the

>wheel?)

>

>BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

>nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a

>car when I was growing up.

>

>I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

>anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress

>(I had no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I

>had to get in the car) that the whole idea of a car trip

>triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

>car-sickness.

>

>I never put this together because my carsickness was always

>blamed on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the

>side window at the scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember

>that I would often be very hungry and thirsty while on a car

>trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day

>visiting one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big

>mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood sugar

>is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

>parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And

>dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any

>reason if the trip was under a couple of hours or so, so you

>better not need to pee.

>

>I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has

>different nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different

>schedule than an adult (past infancy); I was expected to only

>be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee when they

>needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and

>they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people

>with separate, individual needs and feelings.

>

>Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of

>my recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy

>note, when I learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

>

>-Annie

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

My very first post ever on this board was about being trapped in a car with a

nada.

I think it's a horribly terrifying experience. You can't escape the rage without

risking your life.

A lot of people experience motion sickness in a car, especially in the back. But

I can see how for you it would have that extra layer of trauma-trigger.

Sveta

[Guest guest]

Of course that makes sense. Being trapped in a car with a crazy person turns

on a fire hose of stress hormones, like my gerbil used to feel when the cat

would sit on top of its cage and menace it through the bars.

I have one memory of asking to stop for fast food after swim practice when I

was about 12. Someone cut us off and when nada hit the brakes her soda splashed

all over her lap. She started screaming at me " great f---ing idea, getting

food! you're such a princess, etc " and ripped up the bag and threw the contents

all over the car. She fumed silently the rest of the way, and then when we got

home she sighed and said " don't worry honey, there's plenty of food at home. "

She didn't starve me after all, so she couldn't have been a bad mother, right?

Carsick indeed.

>

> It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

>

> As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

>

> (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that determines

if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents are caused

by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage while at

the wheel?)

>

> BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated. There

was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

>

> I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with anticipatory

anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no choice; if my

parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that the whole

idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

>

> I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on other

things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery rushing

past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty while

on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day visiting

one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm

pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the

other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And

dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip

was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

>

> I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different nutritional

needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past infancy); I

was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee when they

needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just didn't

care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual needs and

feelings.

>

> Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

<< Someone cut us off and when nada hit the brakes her soda splashed all over

her lap. She started screaming at me " great f---ing idea, getting food! you're

such a princess, etc " and ripped up the bag and threw the contents all over the

car. She fumed silently the rest of the way...>>

Â

of course nada was really angry at herself for having the soda placed so it'dÂ

foreseeably spill on her in the event of sudden braking, it was simply

transfering of the emotion and blame onto you.Â

Â

the reality was that it was her decision to do what she did** which caused

the spill, neither her antecedent decision to go get food (this was decided by

her, even if you requested it), nor your asking her to stop for food.Â

** 1) place the soda so it'd spill,

   2) drive out of the fast food place when she did so as to meet up with

the other driver when she did,

   3) hit the brakes as she did without securing the soda,Â

   4) get up that morning, etc.,

Â

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 6:40 AM

Subject: Re: I never put this together before...

Â

Of course that makes sense. Being trapped in a car with a crazy person turns on

a fire hose of stress hormones, like my gerbil used to feel when the cat would

sit on top of its cage and menace it through the bars.

I have one memory of asking to stop for fast food after swim practice when I was

about 12. Someone cut us off and when nada hit the brakes her soda splashed all

over her lap. She started screaming at me " great f---ing idea, getting food!

you're such a princess, etc " and ripped up the bag and threw the contents all

over the car. She fumed silently the rest of the way, and then when we got home

she sighed and said " don't worry honey, there's plenty of food at home. " She

didn't starve me after all, so she couldn't have been a bad mother, right?

Carsick indeed.

>

> It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

>

> As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

>

> (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that determines

if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents are caused

by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage while at

the wheel?)

>

> BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated. There

was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

>

> I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with anticipatory

anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no choice; if my

parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that the whole

idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

>

> I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on other

things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery rushing

past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty while on

a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day visiting one

or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm

pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the

other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad

was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

>

> I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different nutritional

needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past infancy); I

was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee when they

needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just didn't

care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual needs and

feelings.

>

> Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

The instantaneous resorting to blaming and castigating her child for something

that is either directly nada's own fault or nobody's fault is so typical of my

nada as well. I was to blame for anything and everything that happened to me,

even if I simply got sick or injured it was always my fault and I'd get screamed

at, shamed or blamed or looked at with contempt for being sick or injured.

One time my nada screamed at me in a very trauma-inducing way that I would

probably go blind (from going into a normally-lit room from a darkened room

while my eyes were dilated) and I'd better not come crying to her when I went

blind, etc. (and never mind that both nada and dad needed glasses because they

were so nearsighted.) THAT incident is burned into my brain permanently, I can

tell you.

Your nada screeching at you and blaming you for her spilling her drink on

herself is yet another example of the person with bpd operating at about a 3

year old's level of

emotional maturity. And another example of exactly WHY someone with a three

year old's level of emotional maturity really shouldn't be raising kids

unsupervised, in my opinion.

No sane person would leave a three year old alone to care for another, smaller

child and expect nothing really horrible to happen, yet that is what happened to

us. We were raised by toddlers who just happen to look like adults.

The fact that we survived our formative years relatively intact is a testament

to our own innate resilience, is all I can figure. Or we were just really

damned lucky that nothing worse happened, I guess.

-Annie

> >

> > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> >

> > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> >

> > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents

are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage

while at the wheel?)

> >

> > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated. There

was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

> >

> > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with anticipatory

anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no choice; if my

parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that the whole

idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

> >

> > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on other

things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery rushing

past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty while on

a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day visiting one

or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm

pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the

other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad

was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> >

> > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past

infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee

when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just

didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual

needs and feelings.

> >

> > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Annie, I think our nadas were separated at birth. My nada also has a thing

about me reading in dim light, and always turns on a lamp with a nasty comment

about blindness. She wears glasses, I don't.

Envisioning my nada and fada as little fuming children has been really helping

me process everything and get some distance for myself. I've lived my whole

life seeing them as omnipotent and unable to silence their voices in my head.

They live in another state, and yet I live constantly with their eyes on me.

The other day I was doing laundry and I caught myself being slow in putting

everything in the dryer. I almost said out loud " I know! I wasn't planning to

put the tights in the dryer, I just didn't take them out yet! " Next time, I'm

going to try to remember to say in a soothing voice " that's right, we don't put

tights in the dryer, let's take the tights upstairs and hang them up. " Maybe if

I can turn the voices into children I can turn myself into the adult at last.

(BTW, these aren't literal hallucinations, just ingrained reflexes. Unscathed,

not so much.)

> > >

> > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > >

> > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > >

> > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents

are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage

while at the wheel?)

> > >

> > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated.

There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

> > >

> > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no

choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that

the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

> > >

> > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on

other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery

rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty

while on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day

visiting one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with

them. I'm pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea.

But on the other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the

car. And dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if

the trip was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > >

> > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past

infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee

when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just

didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual

needs and feelings.

> > >

> > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

> > >

> > > -Annie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Sometimes the similar nada behaviours are truly eerie. My nada constantly

accused me of reading or sitting in the dark. So many times she would barge

into whichever room I was sitting, or reading, and turn on the light--always

with a contemptful, disgust filled comment. Always with a decree that I was

going to 'go blind'. Amazingly similar!!

Nada also accused me almost every time I watched tv of sitting too close and/or

having the tv too loud. For which she told me I was going to 'go blind' or 'go

deaf.' I think she just hated me watching tv because it took my attention away

from her.

By the way, I hate bright lights to this day.

> > > >

> > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > >

> > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > >

> > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents

are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage

while at the wheel?)

> > > >

> > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated.

There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

> > > >

> > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no

choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that

the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

> > > >

> > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on

other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery

rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty

while on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day

visiting one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with

them. I'm pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea.

But on the other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the

car. And dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if

the trip was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > >

> > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past

infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee

when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just

didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual

needs and feelings.

> > > >

> > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to

drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > >

> > > > -Annie

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

<<I've lived my whole life seeing them as omnipotent and unable to silence their

voices in my head. They live in another state, and yet I live constantly with

their eyes on me. >>

Â

What you describe is fairly common " mind chatter, "  as we recreate the old

(dis)comfort zone, perhaps habituated to the old crisis and conflict patterns

a BPD parent inflicted. I

Â

t can attentuate as we learn to shut off those old memories, much in the way you

describe here as your new practice of resolving the " conflict "  which your

mind remembers. (This is  why it conjures up  the mental " conversation . "  )

Â

Please take the time to mentally resolve the issues which come up in an

imagined mental " conversation " about the laundry or anything else when it

happens. This may also help if you find, as do I, third parties really tend

to " pounce " on every little thing you say/do or haven't quite said/done yet.Â

If you experience this, I think it happens to us KO's  only because we

expect it to (based on our prior experience with a nada and fada) and we

tend to experience what we expect to find.Â

Â

Â

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 9:32 PM

Subject: Re: I never put this together before...

Â

Annie, I think our nadas were separated at birth. My nada also has a thing about

me reading in dim light, and always turns on a lamp with a nasty comment about

blindness. She wears glasses, I don't.

Envisioning my nada and fada as little fuming children has been really helping

me process everything and get some distance for myself. I've lived my whole life

seeing them as omnipotent and unable to silence their voices in my head. They

live in another state, and yet I live constantly with their eyes on me. The

other day I was doing laundry and I caught myself being slow in putting

everything in the dryer. I almost said out loud " I know! I wasn't planning to

put the tights in the dryer, I just didn't take them out yet! " Next time, I'm

going to try to remember to say in a soothing voice " that's right, we don't put

tights in the dryer, let's take the tights upstairs and hang them up. " Maybe if

I can turn the voices into children I can turn myself into the adult at last.

(BTW, these aren't literal hallucinations, just ingrained reflexes. Unscathed,

not so much.)

> > >

> > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > >

> > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > >

> > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents

are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage

while at the wheel?)

> > >

> > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated.

There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

> > >

> > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no

choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that

the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

> > >

> > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on

other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery

rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty

while on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day

visiting one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with

them. I'm pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea.

But on the other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the

car. And dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if

the trip was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > >

> > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past

infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee

when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just

didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual

needs and feelings.

> > >

> > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my recurring

childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to drive

myself I never got carsick.

> > >

> > > -Annie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

" My nada also has a thing about me reading in dim light, and always turns on a

lamp with a nasty comment about blindness. "

My nada also does that very frequently. And she always asks me to shift away

from the TV, to the point where I get so disinterested that I leave.

She used to also get really angry if she came home and I used to be watching TV.

I always thought it better to not watch TV in front of her, or while she was

about to come home, otherwise she would throw a tantrum of you dont love me, you

dont care for me etc.

I am sensitive to loud noises and my nada ensures that I get over it by making

sure that I get used to them. She talks at a really really high volume, and

specially early morning when I am asleep she ensures that she is around me and

receiving calls and talking to everyone in the house from right by my bedside.

She even had tears rolling down her cheek once when I requested she go talk in

another room, she said 'why do you do this, you always make me feel horrible

about myself'. I have always felt very guilty about saying that to her and for

years later on I found it more convenient to tweak my sleep schedule rather than

ask her to quiet down.

" It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become really

carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada. "

I never thought of that either. But now that you mention it, I feel it could

have been the reason for my car sickness too. I always feel there no oxygen when

I am in the car with her. I am also usually uncomfortable if there is an AC in

the car, but despite my protests, she makes sure that we drive with the AC

running on full. I have made several six to eight hours car trips with my face

buried in a towel, because I couldn't breathe otherwise.

I never connected the two till now but my vision of a good relationship begins

with a car trip where I dont get sick and where I can turn the AC off if I am

feeling uncomfortable.

> > > >

> > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to become

really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > >

> > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as torture

sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within striking distance of

my nada and she would so often become enraged with me while driving. If she

became angry while driving, she'd try to hit me/slap me with her right hand

sometimes and begin to drive erratically. The few times she got really batshit

screaming crazy angry while driving, it felt to me like she was actually going

to kill both of us by driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > >

> > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many accidents

are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in a screaming rage

while at the wheel?)

> > > >

> > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become nauseated.

There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I was growing up.

> > > >

> > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had no

choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in the car) that

the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction that I experienced as

car-sickness.

> > > >

> > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed on

other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the scenery

rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very hungry and thirsty

while on a car trip, because our longer car trips were to go spend the day

visiting one or both sets of my grandparents, and eat a big mid-day meal with

them. I'm pretty sure that low blood sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea.

But on the other hand, my parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the

car. And dad was one of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if

the trip was under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > >

> > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult (past

infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry, or need to pee

when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or, they knew and they just

didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not people with separate, individual

needs and feelings.

> > > >

> > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I learned to

drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > >

> > > > -Annie

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I had a T once remark " The amazing thing is that you are not more

messed up than you are " . I don t think any of us survived our formative

years relatively intact. We were as screwed up as kids who grew up in a

war zone. We found coping mechanisms, some of them effective and some

as harmful as anything in a normal persons life could be.

We all, I think, had the urge, or plan, that I had at 15: to leave and

never come back. I was going to hitchhike to New Orleans and sign on

with a merchant steamer and go to sea. For all our plans, we cannot get

away from what and who our mothers were. Even if we run, or go NC, the

fact remains we were raised by a raging, blaming, whiny, dependant 3

year old.

God help us.

Doug

> > >

> > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > >

> > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > >

> > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > >

> > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

was growing up.

> > >

> > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > >

> > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > >

> > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

(past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > >

> > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > >

> > > -Annie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

What I meant was, I'm pretty sure that none of us here are corresponding from

inside psychiatric wards, or burn wards, or assisted care homes. We managed to

survive our childhoods without killing ourselves (obviously) or with our bodies

or minds maimed to the point of being unable to care for ourselves. Some of us

have even married and had children. (That is my chief area of dysfunction; I've

never had a long-term adult relationship, but I'm otherwise happy and

functional.)

At other Groups I belong to, it seems there are more than just a few members who

are not able to care for themselves as adults, are still living with their

parents, are too broken and damaged to be able to hold a job or even make

friends, and are still both emotionally and financially dependent on their

abusive pd parents as they approach middle age.

So I guess " relatively intact " is... relative.

I'm not saying that we members here were not terribly damaged; its not a contest

or anything. I'm just saying I'm grateful that I didn't come out worse than I

did.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

> become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > >

> > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

> torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

> striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

> me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

> me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

> The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

> driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

> driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > >

> > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

> determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

> accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

> a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > > >

> > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

> nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

> was growing up.

> > > >

> > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

> anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

> no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

> the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

> that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > > >

> > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

> on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

> scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

> hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

> were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

> and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

> sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

> parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

> of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

> under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > >

> > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

> nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

> (past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

> or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

> they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

> people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > > >

> > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

> recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

> learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > >

> > > > -Annie

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

My therapist says to me, almost every week, " its amazing that you are standing

upright and that you are as successful and together as you are " .... It makes me

giggle each time she says it, because it is true. I spent my entire life hearing

about how bad I am, how i will never be successful,  grew up with a nada who

tortured me verbally and mentally and I have done EVERYTHING in my power to be

100% opposite of her. I tell my daughters everyday how gorgeous they are and I

hug them and squeeze them - these two things, amongst many other things, are two

things my mother never did. She only told me my skin was bad,  needed to go to

Weight Watchers at the age of 11, she hated all my friends (and still does 35

years later - 35!), told me i was ugly  etc.. etc..  I guess i am stronger

then i ever realized and I just found ways to cope.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 8:51 AM

Subject: Re: I never put this together before...

 

I had a T once remark " The amazing thing is that you are not more

messed up than you are " . I don t think any of us survived our formative

years relatively intact. We were as screwed up as kids who grew up in a

war zone. We found coping mechanisms, some of them effective and some

as harmful as anything in a normal persons life could be.

We all, I think, had the urge, or plan, that I had at 15: to leave and

never come back. I was going to hitchhike to New Orleans and sign on

with a merchant steamer and go to sea. For all our plans, we cannot get

away from what and who our mothers were. Even if we run, or go NC, the

fact remains we were raised by a raging, blaming, whiny, dependant 3

year old.

God help us.

Doug

> > >

> > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > >

> > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > >

> > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > >

> > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

was growing up.

> > >

> > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > >

> > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > >

> > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

(past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > >

> > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > >

> > > -Annie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Annie (and everyone else!), thank you for sharing this. I have carsickness too

and the second I read your post I started wondering if there was a connection. I

will definitely have to think about this more. A few things have definitely

popped up already.

For me, my " aha " moment about putting together a current problem with a nada

childhood experience is my insomnia. I have had sleep problems my entire life. I

can't tell you how many nights I have laid awake in bed with anxious thoughts,

fears of someone breaking in and coming into my room to hurt me, etc. A few

years ago in tx, my T made the connection between my insomnia and the fact that

my nada used to pretty regularly wake me and my siblings up in the middle of the

night to tell us that she and my father were getting a divorce and that we were

leaving (and she would literally make us pack a bag and take us to a hotel). As

we got older, she would also come into our rooms at night to wake us up and tell

us to go talk to our father or they were getting a divorce. Most recently, it is

the late night texts. I'm 30 now, that's 30 years of disrupted sleep. No wonder.

> > > >

> > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

> become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > >

> > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

> torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

> striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

> me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

> me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

> The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

> driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

> driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > >

> > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

> determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

> accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

> a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > > >

> > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

> nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

> was growing up.

> > > >

> > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

> anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

> no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

> the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

> that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > > >

> > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

> on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

> scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

> hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

> were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

> and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

> sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

> parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

> of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

> under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > >

> > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

> nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

> (past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

> or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

> they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

> people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > > >

> > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

> recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

> learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > >

> > > > -Annie

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Annie (and everyone else!), thank you for sharing this. I have carsickness too

and the second I read your post I started wondering if there was a connection. I

will definitely have to think about this more. A few things have definitely

popped up already.

For me, my " aha " moment about putting together a current problem with a nada

childhood experience is my insomnia. I have had sleep problems my entire life. I

can't tell you how many nights I have laid awake in bed with anxious thoughts,

fears of someone breaking in and coming into my room to hurt me, etc. A few

years ago in tx, my T made the connection between my insomnia and the fact that

my nada used to pretty regularly wake me and my siblings up in the middle of the

night to tell us that she and my father were getting a divorce and that we were

leaving (and she would literally make us pack a bag and take us to a hotel). As

we got older, she would also come into our rooms at night to wake us up and tell

us to go talk to our father or they were getting a divorce. Most recently, it is

the late night texts. I'm 30 now, that's 30 years of disrupted sleep. No wonder.

> > > >

> > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

> become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > >

> > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

> torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

> striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

> me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

> me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

> The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

> driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

> driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > >

> > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

> determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

> accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

> a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > > >

> > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

> nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

> was growing up.

> > > >

> > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

> anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

> no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

> the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

> that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > > >

> > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

> on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

> scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

> hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

> were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

> and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

> sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

> parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

> of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

> under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > >

> > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

> nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

> (past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

> or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

> they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

> people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > > >

> > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

> recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

> learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > >

> > > > -Annie

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I'm no psychologist, but I'd say yep, theres probably a direct connection there.

I hope you can find a way to tackle that, chronic insomnia is hellish. Is it a

possibility for you to turn off all your phones after 10 PM? That sounds like a

reasonable, rational and justifiable boundary to me, although it would seem that

our nadas really, really don't (didn't) want to respect that one. My nada sure

didn't. Sister had to remind our nada repeatedly to please not phone her after

9PM because Sister's son had to get up really early to go to work. Sister

eventually had to turn off all the phones every evening because nada kept

forgetting that rule.

If nada is having a genuine emergency, that's what 911 is for. And in my nada's

case if there was a genuine emergency (and there never was) the emergency

response team could arrive a hell of a lot faster than Sister could, anyway.

The reality was that at first, nada was just wanting attention and was

perversely attempting to force Sister to pay attention to her when nada wanted

it, the way she would force us to obey her out of fear of her when we were

little.

They really are just spoiled-rotten 3-year-olds screaming for ice cream, in a

lot of cases.

Non-emergencies can wait until a reasonable hour of the morning.

Then, as my nada descended into full-blown senile dementia, she directed her

late-night " emergency " calls to her apartment manager, and then to the police.

Eventually, her repeated non-emergencies and then her belligerent attitude

toward the police got her taken in for an involuntary 72 hour psychiatric

observation.

Its sad, but sometimes you have to let nada's behaviors have real-life

consequences.

Letting my nada phone in multiple non-emergency " emergency " calls in the wee

hours of the morning resulted in nada getting the psychiatric observation and

diagnosis of senile dementia that she genuinely needed, which allowed Sister to

have mom relocated to a proper residential care facility where she would be

supervised 24/7, which she also genuinely needed. My nada had become a danger

to herself and to others, and that level of mental illness is beyond a

lay-person's ability to manage. Someone with bdp and dementia, who is violent

and actively hallucinating needs professional 24/7 care.

I hope you find something that works for you, in your situation.

-Annie

> > > > >

> > > > > It occurred to me recently that possibly my childhood tendency to

> > become really carsick to the point of vomiting had to do with my nada.

> > > > >

> > > > > As a child I really dreaded car trips, they so often ended up as

> > torture sessions for me. If I sat in the front seat, I was within

> > striking distance of my nada and she would so often become enraged with

> > me while driving. If she became angry while driving, she'd try to hit

> > me/slap me with her right hand sometimes and begin to drive erratically.

> > The few times she got really batshit screaming crazy angry while

> > driving, it felt to me like she was actually going to kill both of us by

> > driving into the oncoming lane or swerving off the road.

> > > > >

> > > > > (Maybe there should be a section of the driver's license exam that

> > determines if the potential driver has bpd. Makes me wonder how many

> > accidents are caused by drivers who have personality disorder and are in

> > a screaming rage while at the wheel?)

> > > > >

> > > > > BUT if I sat in the back seat, I was more likely to become

> > nauseated. There was no safe or comfortable place to be in a car when I

> > was growing up.

> > > > >

> > > > > I think being trapped in the car with just nada filled me with

> > anticipatory anxiety and even mortal fear that I had to repress (I had

> > no choice; if my parents wanted me to get in the car, I had to get in

> > the car) that the whole idea of a car trip triggered an anxiety reaction

> > that I experienced as car-sickness.

> > > > >

> > > > > I never put this together because my carsickness was always blamed

> > on other things; my poor eyesight, my looking out the side window at the

> > scenery rushing past, etc. I do remember that I would often be very

> > hungry and thirsty while on a car trip, because our longer car trips

> > were to go spend the day visiting one or both sets of my grandparents,

> > and eat a big mid-day meal with them. I'm pretty sure that low blood

> > sugar is not helpful for fighting nausea. But on the other hand, my

> > parents probably didn't want a lot of vomit in the car. And dad was one

> > of those guys who did not want to stop for any reason if the trip was

> > under a couple of hours or so, so you better not need to pee.

> > > > >

> > > > > I don't think either of them had a clue that a child has different

> > nutritional needs or needs to eat on a different schedule than an adult

> > (past infancy); I was expected to only be hungry when they were hungry,

> > or need to pee when they needed to pee, even as a very small child. Or,

> > they knew and they just didn't care; Sister and I were objects, not

> > people with separate, individual needs and feelings.

> > > > >

> > > > > Just thought I'd share that, since it seems to explain one of my

> > recurring childhood experiences. And to end on a happy note, when I

> > learned to drive myself I never got carsick.

> > > > >

> > > > > -Annie

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >