Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Hello everyone, I know I don't post as much as I should. ... I'll try and contribute more. I have an interesting story to share about my latest Nada experience: I've been NC with my nada for 3 years, and a couple nights ago she tried to contact me (sort of). When I went to work and turned on my phone, I have seven " voicemails " all made within about 5 minutes (between 12:45am and 12:50am). Since my phone had been off I couldn't see who had called, but I had my suspicions but also TERRIFIED, because my first thought was that someone had died or there was an emergency. I was shaking the whole time! It's the PTSD I think... All 7 of these " voicemails " consisted of loud music in the background, creepy breathing, followed by a loud and clattering phone hang-up. At this point I was pretty convinced this was Nada... she used to do this to me all the time when I was LC because she " wanted to be close to me " or " hear my voice. " My dad moved back in with my nada after I graduated college, so I contacted him right away to find out if it was nada. Sure enough, she had gotten amazingly drunk (combined with pills I'm sure) and wanted to " hear my voice. " My dad was very, very angry with her and had apparently yelled at her and said he would try and talk to her when he got home. I think I reacted better than I would have 2-3 years ago to these bizarre calls.... but I also think I would have reacted worse if she had actually spoken. For some reason, I still feel vulnerable. AND I listened to all those voicemails... when I always said I would delete them if I ever got them. It's just crazy to think that if she really wanted to reconcile, and get help, obviously creepy voicemails in the middle of the night aren't going to get her to convince me that she's " fine. " Lesson learned: Time to get a new phone number. - Cvidz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 I know what you mean. Being stalked is a stressful and creepy experience, even if the stalker is your own mother. Maybe its even more stressful and creepy when its your own mother. You're right, nothing says " I love you " like scary, predator-like, anonymous hang-up calls. (sarcasm intended.) Such behaviors really do highlight the depth of their mental illness, and it is both tragically sad and creepy. Like you, I have been virtually NC for about three years, now. I realized I needed to cut off contact when I started having extreme reactions to hearing my mother's voice on the phone, particularly when she " ambushed " me: I picked up a call when I was expecting a client, but it was nada, and right after the call I experienced explosive migraine+dizzy+ vomiting. I'm guessing those symptoms were caused by my own pent-up rage and fear causing a spike in blood pressure, resulting in a cluster of symptoms that seem to be closest to " Meniere's Disease. " So... NOT good. No Contact is better for me. Although now that my nada has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, and her mental illness and toxic behaviors are no longer covert / plausibly deniable, I feel somewhat safer and plan to go for a very brief visit this fall. So, that's just my rambling way of saying that your post resonated with me. At an anti-stalking site for the support of stalking victims, the descriptions of the different kinds of stalkers mentioned that most stalkers have a mental illness of some kind, such as personality disorders. Surprise, surprise. -Annie > > Hello everyone, I know I don't post as much as I should. ... I'll try and contribute more. > > I have an interesting story to share about my latest Nada experience: > > I've been NC with my nada for 3 years, and a couple nights ago she tried to contact me (sort of). When I went to work and turned on my phone, I have seven " voicemails " all made within about 5 minutes (between 12:45am and 12:50am). Since my phone had been off I couldn't see who had called, but I had my suspicions but also TERRIFIED, because my first thought was that someone had died or there was an emergency. I was shaking the whole time! It's the PTSD I think... > > All 7 of these " voicemails " consisted of loud music in the background, creepy breathing, followed by a loud and clattering phone hang-up. At this point I was pretty convinced this was Nada... she used to do this to me all the time when I was LC because she " wanted to be close to me " or " hear my voice. " > > My dad moved back in with my nada after I graduated college, so I contacted him right away to find out if it was nada. Sure enough, she had gotten amazingly drunk (combined with pills I'm sure) and wanted to " hear my voice. " My dad was very, very angry with her and had apparently yelled at her and said he would try and talk to her when he got home. > > I think I reacted better than I would have 2-3 years ago to these bizarre calls.... but I also think I would have reacted worse if she had actually spoken. For some reason, I still feel vulnerable. AND I listened to all those voicemails... when I always said I would delete them if I ever got them. > > It's just crazy to think that if she really wanted to reconcile, and get help, obviously creepy voicemails in the middle of the night aren't going to get her to convince me that she's " fine. " > > Lesson learned: Time to get a new phone number. > > - Cvidz > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 I think a new number is an excellent idea. Congratulations on handling this without 'reacting' (i.e., panicking), you've come a long way! Sure, it creeped you out and you were shocked, but you didn't freak and handled it proactively. > > Hello everyone, I know I don't post as much as I should. ... I'll try and contribute more. > > I have an interesting story to share about my latest Nada experience: > > I've been NC with my nada for 3 years, and a couple nights ago she tried to contact me (sort of). When I went to work and turned on my phone, I have seven " voicemails " all made within about 5 minutes (between 12:45am and 12:50am). Since my phone had been off I couldn't see who had called, but I had my suspicions but also TERRIFIED, because my first thought was that someone had died or there was an emergency. I was shaking the whole time! It's the PTSD I think... > > All 7 of these " voicemails " consisted of loud music in the background, creepy breathing, followed by a loud and clattering phone hang-up. At this point I was pretty convinced this was Nada... she used to do this to me all the time when I was LC because she " wanted to be close to me " or " hear my voice. " > > My dad moved back in with my nada after I graduated college, so I contacted him right away to find out if it was nada. Sure enough, she had gotten amazingly drunk (combined with pills I'm sure) and wanted to " hear my voice. " My dad was very, very angry with her and had apparently yelled at her and said he would try and talk to her when he got home. > > I think I reacted better than I would have 2-3 years ago to these bizarre calls.... but I also think I would have reacted worse if she had actually spoken. For some reason, I still feel vulnerable. AND I listened to all those voicemails... when I always said I would delete them if I ever got them. > > It's just crazy to think that if she really wanted to reconcile, and get help, obviously creepy voicemails in the middle of the night aren't going to get her to convince me that she's " fine. " > > Lesson learned: Time to get a new phone number. > > - Cvidz > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 > > Hello everyone, I know I don't post as much as I should. ... I'll try and contribute more. We don't have quotas here ;-) No one is obligated to contribute anything--post if you need to, but otherwise it's perfectly ok just to read! Here, it's about what *you* need for a change. >> Sure enough, she had gotten amazingly drunk (combined with pills I'm sure) and wanted to " hear my voice. " Someone else once shared that their nada did the same thing, so they simply changed their outgoing messages to the automated computer voice that comes standard with the phone, rather than recording one with their own voice. If your nada just wants to hear your voice, she might not call anymore if she hears a computer instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.