Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. Has anyone else experienced this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 I do that when I'm multitasking ha ha but I know I paused. I tend to be juggling like 600 things at a time. > ** > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention > something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation > with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops > mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has > paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily > phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a > conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this > happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Well, yes, GS, I do that too and I talk to myself occasionally if I'm multi-tasking, but I am very aware of it. This pausing is more like an incoherent gap in speech, not like pausing to think about your words. Yes, I talk to myself. Doesn't mean I'm crazy, just good company. =) > > > ** > > > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention > > something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation > > with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops > > mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has > > paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily > > phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a > > conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this > > happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 ahh more like a psychotic break and less like your phone starts vibrating like crazy in your hand while u r having a conversation w someone face to face. i see! waif boss tends to nod off during staff meeting - while she is leading it. she starts to fade and then nod back - like a man in church!!! do you think they are related? > ** > > > Well, yes, GS, I do that too and I talk to myself occasionally if I'm > multi-tasking, but I am very aware of it. This pausing is more like an > incoherent gap in speech, not like pausing to think about your words. > > Yes, I talk to myself. Doesn't mean I'm crazy, just good company. =) > > > > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors > mention > > > something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In > conversation > > > with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then > stops > > > mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she > has > > > paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she > momentarily > > > phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a > > > conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this > > > happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so > annoying. > > > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 That's interesting; did the author mention whether that happens more noticeably in the Witch, or the Queen, or the Waif, or the Hermit, or does it happen with all of them about the same? That's not a symptom I've noticed in my nada, though. Very interesting. She can talk nonstop for 30 minutes without interruption about herself, or at least she could before the Alzheimer's hit. -Annie > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 I'm trying to locate the exact phrase but I've read on ahead by far by now. I found this " They may lose track of time, lose awareness of their surroundings, and become disoriented. Some borderlines talk out loud when alone, or mutter to themselves in the presence of others. They may stare blankly, carrying on a conversation while preoccupied with the chaos of their internal state. " Ann Lawson. Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship (p. 25). Kindle Edition. > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Fascinating. I did notice that sometimes when my nada would become very stressed she would seem disoriented. And one time I distracted her when she was building herself up into a fine rage, and she did that sudden " going blank " thing, lost the whole momentum of her raging train of thought, became quiet and literally wandered off, as though I wasn't there. Sometimes after she'd rage at Sister or me, she'd be all happy and perky and might even sing, as though nothing out of the ordinary (shrieking at and beating your children) had just happened. I think that might have been dissociation. I have to admit that that the behaviors described in UTBM that you listed sound a lot like dementia to me. I'm no psychologist, I'm just offering my own personal opinion, but those behaviors just truly seem an awful lot like dementia or psychosis to me. I wish I could afford to consult with a psychiatrist for an hour and just ask him or her about this stuff. I too find it terribly interesting. Scary, scary scary: leaving a little child alone with someone who can so easily become so extremely stressed out that she has breaks with reality, as in my own nada's case. I think my nada was too dysfunctional to have ever been left alone with us kids, but because she could keep it covert, we were doomed. -Annie > > > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 My Nada seems to be more like yours, Annie. She can just go on forever and ever talking about herself. I do notice overly long pauses sometimes, but usually they're just filled with The Sigh. You know, that super dramatic, life-is-just-overwhelmingly-difficult, feel sorry for me already kind of sigh. I've never really noticed her just space out in the middle of speaking, though. > That's interesting; did the author mention whether that happens more noticeably in the Witch, or the Queen, or the Waif, or the Hermit, or does it happen with all of them about the same? > > That's not a symptom I've noticed in my nada, though. Very interesting. She can talk nonstop for 30 minutes without interruption about herself, or at least she could before the Alzheimer's hit. > > -Annie > > > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 I had to laugh aloud with your description of " the sigh " . Oh yes, I know that sigh. I remember I once got really irritated by that sigh and confronted her about. Nada, who is predominantly the waif, made it out, of course, as a victimization. Of course, now I know " the sigh " is meant to illicit a reaction from me. Ug. > > > > > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > > > > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 You're exactly right. It's all just more manipulation to provoke a response so she can be the poor, poor misunderstood soul (my Nada is predominantly waif too). Back on the pauses in speech subject, now that I think about it as Nada's gotten older she seems to be getting more spacey. Still not really dropping off the face of reality mid-sentence, but definitely FAR less alert and less able to concentrate on a conversation than she used to be. She is on a crapton of psych meds that could possibly be contributing, though. I think some of them are known for causing problems with short-term memory. Or maybe she's just stark raving nuts. =P It really is just a never-ending parade of whacked out behavior, isn't it? > > > > > That's interesting; did the author mention whether that happens more noticeably in the Witch, or the Queen, or the Waif, or the Hermit, or does it happen with all of them about the same? > > > > > > That's not a symptom I've noticed in my nada, though. Very interesting. She can talk nonstop for 30 minutes without interruption about herself, or at least she could before the Alzheimer's hit. > > > > > > -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Not this dramatic. One thing you may want to consider medically is epilepsy. My grandmother did that to me once when I was visiting with her and come to find out she was experiencing mild seizures and was eventually put on medication for it. > > I am reading Understanding the Borderline Mother, and the authors mention something that I had never attributed before to the BPD. In conversation with my nada, she always does this thing where she is talking and then stops mid-sentence and will wait so long that I will have to ask her why she has paused. She doesn't even realized she has paused, it's like she momentarily phases out of reality or something and forgets she's in the middle of a conversation. I remember once having a conversation with her when this happened so frequently that I got very angry with her. It was so annoying. > > Has anyone else experienced this? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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