Too freaking tired

[Guest guest]

The last 2 days have been very emotional days. I don't even have contact with

nada & fada, and somehow their poison hurts me and my family.

Yesterday I came to understand my nada has decided to deny her anger, her anger

has somehow now been attributed to me. However, anger is not the emotion I am

feeling. Oh sure, there is some. But in front of the anger is a lot of hurt and

confusion. Sadness. It is those emotions she is so fearful of. She can handle

anger, it is the emotions of compassion she has no ability to process.

Daughter called me today--she graduates college next month. She has so much on

her shoulders right now. She says nada called her late last night--everyone is

'out to get' her, she's so stressed out, she's going to give my daughter a bunch

of money and cut off the rest of us ingrates, etc. You guys know the drill. My

DD is usually able to let it roll off, but nada was particularly raving an

nasty, maligning her brother (he's always been the dung g-child) and me of

course. She told her grandmother that she was acting paranoid and should

probably slow down, think it all over for a month and then decide. Of course,

nada yelled " I am not paranoid, I am perfectly fine. "

Nada has herself completely worked up, mostly over nothing. She is a

hermit/queen, and after nagging my father to join her church he finally caved.

Of course the social aspects of his religious education, planned baptism,

communion, etc. are throwing her into a tizzy.

Every time she gets this bad she ends up in the hospital with a heart attack or

a panic attack. Part of me wants to step in and suggest she find some

tranquilizers. The other part of me knows it is a waste of time to pop my head

up. I hate the fact she's trying to set my child up, and yet there is nothing I

can do to stop nada. My girl is smart, and knows what nada is about, but this

tears at her when she cannot afford the distraction.

And me, I am exhausted. I haven't even seen them but I've been cleaning up the

mess all day.

[Guest guest]

Hugs, Echo. it's like your nada is finding a way to seep into your life even

though you have made it clear you want no contact.

Your daughter sounds like she knows how to handle her. It must be hard, as you

said she can't afford the distraction right now, with her graduation coming up.

Please take time for yourself and take care of yourself.

>

> The last 2 days have been very emotional days. I don't even have contact with

nada & fada, and somehow their poison hurts me and my family.

>

> Yesterday I came to understand my nada has decided to deny her anger, her

anger has somehow now been attributed to me. However, anger is not the emotion I

am feeling. Oh sure, there is some. But in front of the anger is a lot of hurt

and confusion. Sadness. It is those emotions she is so fearful of. She can

handle anger, it is the emotions of compassion she has no ability to process.

>

> Daughter called me today--she graduates college next month. She has so much on

her shoulders right now. She says nada called her late last night--everyone is

'out to get' her, she's so stressed out, she's going to give my daughter a bunch

of money and cut off the rest of us ingrates, etc. You guys know the drill. My

DD is usually able to let it roll off, but nada was particularly raving an

nasty, maligning her brother (he's always been the dung g-child) and me of

course. She told her grandmother that she was acting paranoid and should

probably slow down, think it all over for a month and then decide. Of course,

nada yelled " I am not paranoid, I am perfectly fine. "

>

> Nada has herself completely worked up, mostly over nothing. She is a

hermit/queen, and after nagging my father to join her church he finally caved.

Of course the social aspects of his religious education, planned baptism,

communion, etc. are throwing her into a tizzy.

>

> Every time she gets this bad she ends up in the hospital with a heart attack

or a panic attack. Part of me wants to step in and suggest she find some

tranquilizers. The other part of me knows it is a waste of time to pop my head

up. I hate the fact she's trying to set my child up, and yet there is nothing I

can do to stop nada. My girl is smart, and knows what nada is about, but this

tears at her when she cannot afford the distraction.

>

> And me, I am exhausted. I haven't even seen them but I've been cleaning up the

mess all day.

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Echobabe)))))

You and your DD are handling your nada about as well as is humanly possible. It

IS exhausting: the drama, the projecting, the blaming, the irrationality, the

turmoil, the chaos, the roller-coaster of emotions. When I would visit my nada

(back before NC was instituted) my overwhelming feeling at the end of each visit

was exhaustion; I just literally felt drained of all energy and joy, like a husk

of myself.

Wishing you strength and endurance, peace, and healing.

-Annie

>

> The last 2 days have been very emotional days. I don't even have contact with

nada & fada, and somehow their poison hurts me and my family.

>

> Yesterday I came to understand my nada has decided to deny her anger, her

anger has somehow now been attributed to me. However, anger is not the emotion I

am feeling. Oh sure, there is some. But in front of the anger is a lot of hurt

and confusion. Sadness. It is those emotions she is so fearful of. She can

handle anger, it is the emotions of compassion she has no ability to process.

>

> Daughter called me today--she graduates college next month. She has so much on

her shoulders right now. She says nada called her late last night--everyone is

'out to get' her, she's so stressed out, she's going to give my daughter a bunch

of money and cut off the rest of us ingrates, etc. You guys know the drill. My

DD is usually able to let it roll off, but nada was particularly raving an

nasty, maligning her brother (he's always been the dung g-child) and me of

course. She told her grandmother that she was acting paranoid and should

probably slow down, think it all over for a month and then decide. Of course,

nada yelled " I am not paranoid, I am perfectly fine. "

>

> Nada has herself completely worked up, mostly over nothing. She is a

hermit/queen, and after nagging my father to join her church he finally caved.

Of course the social aspects of his religious education, planned baptism,

communion, etc. are throwing her into a tizzy.

>

> Every time she gets this bad she ends up in the hospital with a heart attack

or a panic attack. Part of me wants to step in and suggest she find some

tranquilizers. The other part of me knows it is a waste of time to pop my head

up. I hate the fact she's trying to set my child up, and yet there is nothing I

can do to stop nada. My girl is smart, and knows what nada is about, but this

tears at her when she cannot afford the distraction.

>

> And me, I am exhausted. I haven't even seen them but I've been cleaning up the

mess all day.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for the hugs and support. Having this support group has made such

a difference in my life--giving me the confidence to trust my instincts and the

courage to enforce boundaries.

>

> Hugs, Echo. it's like your nada is finding a way to seep into your life even

though you have made it clear you want no contact.

>

> Your daughter sounds like she knows how to handle her. It must be hard, as you

said she can't afford the distraction right now, with her graduation coming up.

>

> Please take time for yourself and take care of yourself.

>