Fw: Fwd: Fw: PARAPROSDOKIANS

[Guest guest]

You should enjoy these!love, Kate----- Forwarded Message ----To: rothschildkate@...Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 10:23:29 AMSubject: Fwd: Fw: PARAPROSDOKIANS

Not sure about the name for them, but they are fun.

Some of these are great....

PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(PARA PROS DOKIANS)

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or

unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is

frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

[Guest guest]

I loved all of these! But here is my very favorite:)Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Some of these are great....

PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(PARA PROS DOKIANS)

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or

unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is

frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a

great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. ----- Forwarded Message ----To: MSersLife Sent: Mon, February 7, 2011 5:14:25 AMSubject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: PARAPROSDOKIANS

You should enjoy these!love, Kate----- Forwarded Message ----To: rothschildkate@...Sent: Sun, February 6, 2011 10:23:29 AMSubject: Fwd: Fw: PARAPROSDOKIANS

Not sure about the name for them, but they are fun.

Some of these are great....

PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(PARA PROS DOKIANS)

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or

unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is

frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine