Re: feel I screwed up/ reply with comments for Kate & group

[Guest guest]

Kate, no true friend is going to urge you to divorce if you lack the financialmeans to survive without your husband. A real friend just is THERE or HERE for you and will support you in most any decision you might make,though there are exceptions: do not harm yourself in any way.My sister went through three abusive husbands, and eventually divorcedeach. I was the "baby sister," but I stood by her as she came to concludewhat she needed to do--and would have stood by her had she NOT divorcedthem. That is what friends do. There are rare exceptions; I unhesitatingly PRODEdna to get needed medical care and go with her, and I do not tell her WHATto do, but get her doctors to tell her. Friendhsip, if real, involves frustration.Her

son has rather taken it upon himself to check up on me from time to time,and I thank him.Real friends do not WANT to be the case manager of your life!For what it is worth, you have all of us!Love to you,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Mon, February 7, 2011 3:59:29 PMSubject: Re: feel I screwed up, OT

Her life is overwhelming, but I'm totally there for her. I'll try not to give up just yet, but I feel she has on me already... ;o(Thank you for listening. It means more than words can convey.love, KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Mon, February 7, 2011 6:57:30 PMSubject: RE: feel I screwed up, OT

Hugs and prayers, Kate.

And don't give up on your friend - maybe she just needs a little time

and respite (what's going on in HER life?), and doesn't know how to say

so...

Meanwhile, we're listening...

in WY

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"You get a wonderful view from the point of no return..."

feel I screwed up, OT

This is totally off topic...I feel I lost my best friend. I've been

confiding in

her for years about Lloyd and how dysfunctional he is as well as our

marriage.

She has been a wonderful support and very encouraging. She feels that she

has

really put herself out there for me emotionally, and she has. I don't know

how

to explain it, but I AM very mixed up about what to do, i.e. divorce versus

stay

and be miserable. I think she's totally had it with me, and her attitude has

been --*t or get off the pot. I agree, but I'm still so totally torn. I have

kids, financial strains, etc.... I think she's finally 'had it' with me. We

used

to talk nearly daily, and always say I love you to one another, but today

when I

told her I loved her, there was silence. I said it again, thinking maybe she

didn't hear me, but she ignored again and said maybe we'll touch base

tomorrow.

I think she's lost all respect for me, and I don't know what to do. I feel

that

I screwed up the friendship. We've been friends for 4 years now, and I've

been

totally there for her, with her ill husband. So, I don't think it's been a

one-sided relationship. I just feel very fragile now, and called my

therapist to

say I don't feel altogether safe tonight....but I'm supposed to see her

tomorrow

afternoon, and she said to hold on til then...I know I can always come here

to

share...you all don't have to respond at all, just listening to me helps. I

feel

like my whole world is caving in...

I love you all, thanks for being there...

Kate