slightly off topic - sympathy gifts

[Guest guest]

The grim reaper has been busy in my city. On Sunday he/she took a

friend/client's dad (colon cancer) and 2 days later took the same friend's

grandma.

I know its off topic, but does anyone have ideas for what I could send her?

It is a business relationship more than personal. She is classy and

beautiful with expensive tastes and she works at the 2nd best hotels in my

city.

I sent her flowers when her dad began chemo back in January, so I wanted to

send something different this time.

I know its not on topic - but who better to understand grieving than a KO? I

say no one.

Thanks, girlscout

[Guest guest]

That poor woman; 2 funerals so close together. It's too much.

I'm not all that classy (hee) but maybe a donation in their names to Make A

Wish, or maybe planting trees in their honor.

I can't really think of something you could send her aside from a gift basket.

My brother in law used to send people really elegant gift baskets filled with

chocolate and a note hoping it would bring sweetness in their grief. I always

thought that was so nice.

Good luck!

>

> The grim reaper has been busy in my city. On Sunday he/she took a

> friend/client's dad (colon cancer) and 2 days later took the same friend's

> grandma.

>

> I know its off topic, but does anyone have ideas for what I could send her?

> It is a business relationship more than personal. She is classy and

> beautiful with expensive tastes and she works at the 2nd best hotels in my

> city.

>

> I sent her flowers when her dad began chemo back in January, so I wanted to

> send something different this time.

>

> I know its not on topic - but who better to understand grieving than a KO? I

> say no one.

>

> Thanks, girlscout

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The gift is irrelevant. I have learned in my experiences helping people

with grief that it is the presense, more than the presents. Go visit

her. Hold her hand and say, I m sorry for your loss.

Take her to lunch, or invite her to dinner, and just say, how are you

doing?

You can t fix her grief, but you can be an anchoring presence.

Touch her. Touch is underrated in healing.

She ll forget what flowers she got, she ll eat the chocoaltes and feel

better for a while, but then forget them.

She remember people who were touching her life, or her hands, in her

time of grief.

Give her; You.

Doug

[Guest guest]

Thanks Doug. I'll do that. That's a great solution.

> **

>

>

>

>

> The gift is irrelevant. I have learned in my experiences helping people

> with grief that it is the presense, more than the presents. Go visit

> her. Hold her hand and say, I m sorry for your loss.

>

> Take her to lunch, or invite her to dinner, and just say, how are you

> doing?

>

> You can t fix her grief, but you can be an anchoring presence.

>

> Touch her. Touch is underrated in healing.

>

> She ll forget what flowers she got, she ll eat the chocoaltes and feel

> better for a while, but then forget them.

>

> She remember people who were touching her life, or her hands, in her

> time of grief.

>

> Give her; You.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with this advice. Also - send a sympathy card that you really feel says

what you feel. I know that when you are dealing with a death you do truly

remember who comes, who touches base, who reaches out, and when some time has

passed it is nice to look at the thoughtful cards and reread the kind messages

from loved ones and friends.

>

>

>

>

> The gift is irrelevant. I have learned in my experiences helping people

> with grief that it is the presense, more than the presents. Go visit

> her. Hold her hand and say, I m sorry for your loss.

>

> Take her to lunch, or invite her to dinner, and just say, how are you

> doing?

>

> You can t fix her grief, but you can be an anchoring presence.

>

> Touch her. Touch is underrated in healing.

>

> She ll forget what flowers she got, she ll eat the chocoaltes and feel

> better for a while, but then forget them.

>

> She remember people who were touching her life, or her hands, in her

> time of grief.

>

> Give her; You.

>

> Doug

>

[Guest guest]

I agree that the way that an individual offers condolences also has to do with

his or her own needs, as well as those of the bereaved.

An earlier poster asked the same question, and since she had recently been

overwhelmed by depression herself (the deceased had committed suicide) and felt

emotionally vulnerable to greater depression, and since the bereaved was not a

very close friend, in her case I suggested that since she had offered her

condolences, then a card would be a nice followup, and then later when she felt

more emotionally stable and strong herself, she could perhaps reconsider a visit

with her bereaved friend.

There isn't one right way or best way or only way to handle offering

condolences, and each situation is individual.

In my opinion.

-Annie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > The gift is irrelevant. I have learned in my experiences helping people

> > with grief that it is the presense, more than the presents. Go visit

> > her. Hold her hand and say, I m sorry for your loss.

> >

> > Take her to lunch, or invite her to dinner, and just say, how are you

> > doing?

> >

> > You can t fix her grief, but you can be an anchoring presence.

> >

> > Touch her. Touch is underrated in healing.

> >

> > She ll forget what flowers she got, she ll eat the chocoaltes and feel

> > better for a while, but then forget them.

> >

> > She remember people who were touching her life, or her hands, in her

> > time of grief.

> >

> > Give her; You.

> >

> > Doug

> >

>