Re: reply to Jackie

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Then do not let go of them yet. Follow your heart!Thank you, Jackie.Love,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Wed, February 9, 2011 5:31:20 PMSubject: Re: on the death of one's mother, and in honor of all mothers here

I know, but I don't want to let go of them quite yet. For some reason knowing she is here with me gives me some kind of closure. I'm thinking of having her put in with me when its my turn. I don't think thats creepy, do you?

I forgot to tell you that your mother sounded like a remarkable woman. I liked how your father talked to you too. :-D

Hugs, Jackie

Subject: on the death of one's mother, and in honor of all mothers hereTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 3:52 PM

Akiba's Robbin is the best son--I think we do know why. . . . My own mother, whom my brothers and I did call "Mom," died at 101 + 1 month,in Santa Barbara, California, where my sister, the eldest child in our family.was living at the time; that sister has no died; died the year after our mother did.I had a difficult time explaining all that to my family; they kept asking whether itwas an automobile accident, or a fall, as everyone in our family, with rare exception, lives so long.I had been emotionally and intellectually prepared for my mother's demise,as she had severe Alzheimer's disease (I do not have that gene), and hadbeen fading steadily. The people at the residential facility where she wasfound her as they checked all the apartments each morning. They told methat my mother was found "lying

peacefully

on her left side, with her foldedhands under her left cheek," the way I remember her having slept for all thetime that I, the surprise 6th child, remembered her. They told me that she hadjust the beginning of a small, sweet smile on her face!It did not even dawn on me that they might not have phoned my sisterin Santa Barbara yet. . . until the kind lady said slowly and gently that"We thought that it might be better if she heard it from you." I declined,put my foot to the pedal, and asked them to notify my sister, and not evento discuss the fact that they had already notified me with my sister. Theyknew why. I assured them that I was on my way to Santa Barbara as oflate that afternoon.So, when the kids came home from work/school, and Hans came home,we all gathered ourselves into one of our cars and off we went---to Santa Barbara. The kids' first notion was that they

would never heartheir grandmother play piano again, though she had not been able to play in many years. Even Hans was a bit distraught. I remembered my mother's having said when I was a very young child,that she hoped that she would "go in my sleep," and I was just glad thatshe had gone in the manner for which she had hoped.My mother had smoked for years and had gone blind due to macular degeneration (common in smokers) years after she had quit. She hadbeen able to play the piano from memory and by ear until she was about93, and one day she attempted to play, realized that these were not the sounds that she had expected, and just gave it up.My own relationship with each of my parents, and with my siblings, wasrewarding and I have wonderful memories of each of our parents. I havepicked one to share, and if I have shared it before, I offer it for those whohave not

read all my posts:I was about five years old, and it was a Saturday morning. Mom had beena bit concerned that I was not as friendly with one of our neighbors as withothers nearby (each about three acres apart), so she sat me down and inclassic Sephardic Jewish fasion, put her hand on my forearm (this meansthat your arm is now "nailed" to the table and that what you are going to betold is very important.Mother said, "Dear, when you are out and about and you encounter others,your demeanor and comportment should be such that all persons whomyou might encounter shall feel the better for their having encountered you."So, I memorized this maternal bit of wisdom, nodded solemnly, and ran upstairs to my Dad's study, and blurted it out to him. Dad was a bit moredown home than Mom was, as English was not his second language.He turned to me and said, "Kid, listen to your Muthah; do what

yourMuthah says." I have tried and am still trying to do just that, and do doas he so often advised me as well (He was an attorney).Love to you all,n