My true mother died

[Guest guest]

My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

embolism.

My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

thinking it was too melodramatic.

She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

in me when I could not see it in myself.

Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

faith in me.

I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

And they will all still be together, just without mom.

I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Mia,

I am so sorry for your, and your family's loss! My heart goes out to you. I

wish I had a mom like that. I wonder how your dad went form a BPD wife, to a

healthy wife? I had a BPD mom, and everyone since then has been too. I am

glad, that you told us about her. That gives some of us hope that eventually we

can choose correctly!

Again, I am so sorry for your loss!

Bill Hade

billfunnyman@...

My true mother died

My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

embolism.

My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

thinking it was too melodramatic.

She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

in me when I could not see it in myself.

Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

faith in me.

I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

And they will all still be together, just without mom.

I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

Mia

[Guest guest]

So sorry for your loss, Mia.Â

It's extra-hard to lose those women in our lives who are true mothers. I never

had a real mother (for any length of time) until I starting dating DH, and his

mom became that true mother for me. She accepted me into her family just as her

own and loved me in a way my nada never has. She even asked me to call her

" Mama, " but I never could to her face because it somehow felt disloyal to nada -

a decision I regret to this day. We lost my MIL almost four years ago, and not a

day goes by that I don't miss her and wish that she was back here with us - and

that I could send nada to heaven in her place - if nada will even make it to

heaven.Â

And, yes, I'm angry about the loss too - still - angry that we lost her, and yet

we still have to deal with nada's crap on a daily basis. I just wanted to let

you know that it's completely reasonable to feel what you're feeling right now.

You're not alone.Â

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Saturday, April 14, 2012 8:29 AM

Subject: My true mother died

Â

My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

embolism.

My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

thinking it was too melodramatic.

She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

in me when I could not see it in myself.

Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

faith in me.

I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

And they will all still be together, just without mom.

I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Oh, Mia, sending thousands of hugs to you and your family. She sounds so

much like my mother in law--just so wonderful and supportive.

I think your being a nurse is a fantastic legacy for your step-mom. You can

help others as she has supported you.

> **

>

>

> My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

> Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

>

> She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

> spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

> embolism.

>

> My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

> relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

> step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

> to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

> her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

> thinking it was too melodramatic.

>

> She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

> in me when I could not see it in myself.

>

> Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

> knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

> would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

> that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

> telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

> thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

> step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

> faith in me.

>

> I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

> different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

> My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

>

> The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

> her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

> peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

> amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

> And they will all still be together, just without mom.

>

> I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

> always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

> feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

> had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

>

> Mia

>

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Mia)))))

I'm so sorry you lost the mother of your heart, and that the loss was so sudden

and unexpected. But I'm so glad that you and your step-mom each had each other

in your lives; she must have loved you very much and she showed you her love by

being kind to you and encouraging you in your dream to become a nurse. You have

honored her by achieving what she knew you could achieve. And I'm betting that

your step-mother knew in her heart that whenever you spoke to her, you were

calling her " mom " because she could hear your love for her in your voice and see

it in your eyes.

My sincere condolences to you and your dad and all your step-family members.

May you find comfort in each other's loving presence.

-Annie

>

> My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

> Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

>

> She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

> spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

> embolism.

>

> My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

> relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

> step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

> to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

> her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

> thinking it was too melodramatic.

>

> She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

> in me when I could not see it in myself.

>

> Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

> knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

> would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

> that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

> telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

> thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

> step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

> faith in me.

>

> I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

> different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

> My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

>

> The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

> her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

> peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

> amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

> And they will all still be together, just without mom.

>

> I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

> always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

> feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

> had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Mia, please accept my condolences. You must be feeling very

shocked. A number of years ago a good friend or mine died that

way after having successful liver surgery. She was supposed to

be fine and recovering and then she was suddenly dead. That was

a horrible shock. It must be even worse for you given your close

relationship and the fact that her surgery wasn't about

something life-threatening at all. I'm glad that you had a real

mom, even if your time with her was too short.

At 08:29 AM 04/14/2012 Mia wrote:

>My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother

>died on

>Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

>

>She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a

>bone

>spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a

>pulmonary

>embolism.

>

>My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I

>have no

>relationship with nada and it's so much better that

>way. Before dad &

>step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I

>wanted

>to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead

>of by

>her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I

>chickened out,

>thinking it was too melodramatic.

>

>She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw

>the good

>in me when I could not see it in myself.

>

>Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom

>(not

>knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she

>thought I

>would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a

>nurse. At

>that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into

>tears

>telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a

>nurse. I

>thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school,

>but my

>step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because

>she had

>faith in me.

>

>I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home "

>in a

>different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half

>siblings.

>My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

>

>The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because

>mom and

>her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema

>and

>peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such

>an

>amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the

>start.

> And they will all still be together, just without mom.

>

>I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I

>have

>always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I

>am

>feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I

>never

>had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

>

>Mia

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry....my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Thanks!!

Janet

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Saturday, April 14, 2012 7:29 AM

Subject: My true mother died

Â

My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

embolism.

My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

thinking it was too melodramatic.

She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

in me when I could not see it in myself.

Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

faith in me.

I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

And they will all still be together, just without mom.

I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

Mia

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry Mia - I know this is a huge loss. Even though the time was too

short, the beautiful experiences of real healthy mother love with your true mom

will stay with you as a part of you always.

Eliza

>

> My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

> Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

>

> She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

> spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

> embolism.

>

> My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

> relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

> step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

> to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

> her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

> thinking it was too melodramatic.

>

> She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

> in me when I could not see it in myself.

>

> Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

> knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

> would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

> that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

> telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

> thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

> step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

> faith in me.

>

> I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

> different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

> My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

>

> The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

> her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

> peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

> amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

> And they will all still be together, just without mom.

>

> I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

> always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

> feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

> had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Mia,

Just wanted to write and express my sympathy. This lady was a treasure for you

to have the brief time you knew her, and she has certainly earned her wings in

heaven.

Only the good die young.

--

[Guest guest]

I too am so sorry for your loss, even as I am glad to know that you were able to

enjoy such a relationship and your dad was able to make a healthy partnership

decision that benefitted all of you. I hope you will be able to spend peaceful

time with your siblings and dad in the days to come and find solace from each

other and your relationships with your mom.

SR

[Guest guest]

Mia, I'm so, so sorry to hear it. How tragic. She was much too young.

My gosh, how awful to lose her in " common " surgery. I guess there is no such

thing as minor surgery.

Please receive my condolences and deepest sympathy.

Fiona

>

> My wonderful, amazing, kind, loving and beautiful Step Mother died on

> Wednesday night. She was 49. And was not sick.

>

> She had surgery 2 weeks prior on her achilles tendon and had a bone

> spur removed. She threw a clot & it went to her lungs, a pulmonary

> embolism.

>

> My dad and Step mom and her amazing family are my family. I have no

> relationship with nada and it's so much better that way. Before dad &

> step mom came down to my graduation in January, I told hubby I wanted

> to ask her if she would be ok with me calling her mom instead of by

> her first name. Hubby thought I should ask her, but I chickened out,

> thinking it was too melodramatic.

>

> She was my mom. The one I should have had. The one who saw the good

> in me when I could not see it in myself.

>

> Where my nada said I was too stupid to be a nurse, my step mom (not

> knowing what nada had said all those years ago) told me she thought I

> would make an amazing nurse. She encouraged me to become a nurse. At

> that time, I was still under nada's curse and just burst into tears

> telling her how I just couldn't do that. But now, I am a nurse. I

> thought of nada's hurtful words throughout my time in school, but my

> step mom... mom's words kept me strong. I am a nurse because she had

> faith in me.

>

> I just can't believe this happened. I live 3 hours from " home " in a

> different state. I am so worried about my dad and my half siblings.

> My sister is 15, and my brother is 12.

>

> The family has a very lovely home. It's a big house because mom and

> her parents were soooooo close. My step grandparents, meema and

> peepa, live here with my dad, mom, and siblings. This is such an

> amazing family, one who took me in just like their own from the start.

> And they will all still be together, just without mom.

>

> I didn't talk much about this part of my family here because I have

> always focused on the hurtful things that nada said & did. I am

> feeling so many things right now, but I am also angry because I never

> had a mom until my dad married this woman. And now she's gone.

>

> Mia

>