Re : Re : My personal favorite Nada one liners.

[Guest guest]

Dear AFB,

I am happy if what I wrote could help someone else, because it is why I wrote it

:-)

I am actually writing my first book in french about my childhood memories, I

wish my book will maybe help some adult children who also had BDP mothers. My

book is not sad. It tells some things about nada but most of all is full of

anecdots from " another time " (I grew up in an old " maison bourgeoise " in the

1970's in France, but was raised by my GrandMa who was born in 1920 and we

shared our house with an old single lady who was born in 1901). I don't know if

people will like my book, but it is a pleasure to write it, because in it all

the kind people I loved in my childhood are alive again (they have all died

already).

To write this book gives me the strenght to bear my today's time, with all the

french family who follow nadas' lies for years and have all deserted me. Noone

never contact me.

My Grandmother was my true Mummy in my heart and she gave to me all the mummy

love I needed, but she never understood my mother, who was also her daughter. We

all lived together. My Grand-Mother never saw how my mother was behaving against

me. She was blind about this. She was putting us on the same level, on equality.

She thought that my mother was kind like me. I forgive her blindness because she

was loving me unconditionally and thanks to her I grew up feeling mothercare

loved.

I don't know why these nadas are like they are.

I know mine didn't want me to be born, and that I was born because I had the

chance that abortion became legal in France only in 1975, four years later.

I had many qualities of my daddy who she hated I think that's why she hated me.

I was doing my best to be loved by her : always kind and obedient, very quite at

home, always first at school, but it was never enough, nada was never happy with

me. So I was feeling ugly and with no value. I used to walk to the garden and

spend hours with my favourite blue flowers and butterflies, and somehow finding

comfort beeing there. I was a very lonely child with no siblings and no Dad

(nada hidded to me my Daddy identity during 13 years).

Today I am an adult raising alone three children, I have cut all contacts with

nada but my painfull past is still inside me and sometimes I feel a heavy

sadness inside my heart.

I wish my book will help me to heal inside, and I wish one day here in Europe, I

could give help to other adult children with BDP nadas to feel better.Â

You are very welcome AFB.

Have a Beautiful Weekend :-)

Natacha

XXXX

________________________________

De : awayfromborderland

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Samedi 14 avril 2012 17h40

Objet : Re: Re : My personal favorite Nada one liners.

Â

Natacha, you may not have English as a first language but you communicated this

excellently. I LOVE " les phrases assassines. " What came back to me when I read

your post is a friend of Nadas who always took great pains to tell me what a

good person Nada was. She pretended to be my friend, but was really Nada's

friend first. What complicated it was that she and Nada were work colleagues. I

was young, and couldn't put together that maybe this " friend " was not exactly

agenda-free. Anyway, I sure " got " your post about the brainwashing from

Grandma. Thank you.

AFB

[Guest guest]

Just thought of another one:

" I don't want to hurt you. "

This is usually spoken after she's said something particularly mean and cutting

which has me in tears and is almost always followed up by something a little

more benign but not anywhere near normal.

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

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