Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 So why is that just last week I announced to nada that I wouldn't be taking phone calls during the day because of another obligation that I have to keep during those hours. (I am so afraid to be specific on here, but you get the idea anyway!) So this week she calls me early a.m. and I resist answering because I know it won't be short and my obligation will be interrupted. There is then a call around lunch time and the message is not very friendly and then an explanation that she is calling for specific information which is by no means an emergency. I am really not trying to be nasty, but I can't meet my daytime obligations if I take every non-emergency phone call. Wouldn't it be nice if it still cost money to call people? I have trouble keeping conversations brief. It is better if I just delay so that there isn't an hour chunk from the middle of the day. I am seriously neglecting my daytime obligations. I am so frustrated and caught between my daytime obligations and refusing to answer the phone. So now this is becoming a huge deal and I really just need to use my time more wisely and set some little boundaries. Am I wrong? Thanks, PC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 No, you are NOT wrong. Mine was demanding to know if I was staying with her when I come home to visit. Then my son called. (he only calls if he needs something) I told her I needed to take his call and wasn't going to talk about where I was staying and she was literally yelling at me trying to pressure me into a " yes " answer as I am trying to click over to see what my son needs. I literally was yelling over her saying, " MOM, I am not going to talk about this right now! I've got to see what my son wants " You have created a boundary and as Annie so often reminds us, they are gonna act out even MORE when you create that boundary it is testing our resolve and also a kind of little death in the battle for control of your life. You tell normall people something like this and they get it right away. These are NOT normal people, if they were, we wouldn't need this support group. ;-) C > > So why is that just last week I announced to nada that I wouldn't be taking phone calls during the day because of another obligation that I have to keep during those hours. (I am so afraid to be specific on here, but you get the idea anyway!) So this week she calls me early a.m. and I resist answering because I know it won't be short and my obligation will be interrupted. There is then a call around lunch time and the message is not very friendly and then an explanation that she is calling for specific information which is by no means an emergency. > > I am really not trying to be nasty, but I can't meet my daytime obligations if I take every non-emergency phone call. Wouldn't it be nice if it still cost money to call people? I have trouble keeping conversations brief. It is better if I just delay so that there isn't an hour chunk from the middle of the day. I am seriously neglecting my daytime obligations. > > I am so frustrated and caught between my daytime obligations and refusing to answer the phone. So now this is becoming a huge deal and I really just need to use my time more wisely and set some little boundaries. > > Am I wrong? > > Thanks, > PC > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Lots of people have daytime obligations such as having a full time job or taking classes by computer or other obligations that prevents them from taking personal calls during the day. My opinion is that expecting a friend or a relative to just drop whatever she is doing and take my call when its just being sociable or just to answer a trivial question when I KNOW he or she is at work or otherwise busy... I think that doing that to someone is just narcissistic and rude. And the topper: I would not call a friend or a relative first, even if I AM having a life-threatening emergency: I would call an ambulance instead!! Then once the situation is stabilized, I'd call my Sister and/or my friend and let them know what was going on with me. (Of course if I'm unconscious, my ICE numbers are in my cel-phone: ICE is what you write next to a person's name and number and it means " In Case of Emergency. " ) So, I don't think you are wrong or rude or selfish to set a boundary RE the times of day that you will accept personal calls. If your friends or relatives do not respect your boundary, then, let their calls roll over into voice mail and answer them later, when its convenient for you. We've been trained by our narcissistic, bullying parents to believe that being a doormat and always being " nice " is a good thing. It isn't. But that's me! -Annie > > So why is that just last week I announced to nada that I wouldn't be taking phone calls during the day because of another obligation that I have to keep during those hours. (I am so afraid to be specific on here, but you get the idea anyway!) So this week she calls me early a.m. and I resist answering because I know it won't be short and my obligation will be interrupted. There is then a call around lunch time and the message is not very friendly and then an explanation that she is calling for specific information which is by no means an emergency. > > I am really not trying to be nasty, but I can't meet my daytime obligations if I take every non-emergency phone call. Wouldn't it be nice if it still cost money to call people? I have trouble keeping conversations brief. It is better if I just delay so that there isn't an hour chunk from the middle of the day. I am seriously neglecting my daytime obligations. > > I am so frustrated and caught between my daytime obligations and refusing to answer the phone. So now this is becoming a huge deal and I really just need to use my time more wisely and set some little boundaries. > > Am I wrong? > > Thanks, > PC > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Thanks! I wish I knew if nada had discovered this group or not so I could just speak freely. I homeschool and even a 15 minute call can disrupt the learning. If we're in the middle of a subject and I take a call, the concentration is lost. I just want to get my kids educated without a battle. PC > > > > So why is that just last week I announced to nada that I wouldn't be taking phone calls during the day because of another obligation that I have to keep during those hours. (I am so afraid to be specific on here, but you get the idea anyway!) So this week she calls me early a.m. and I resist answering because I know it won't be short and my obligation will be interrupted. There is then a call around lunch time and the message is not very friendly and then an explanation that she is calling for specific information which is by no means an emergency. > > > > I am really not trying to be nasty, but I can't meet my daytime obligations if I take every non-emergency phone call. Wouldn't it be nice if it still cost money to call people? I have trouble keeping conversations brief. It is better if I just delay so that there isn't an hour chunk from the middle of the day. I am seriously neglecting my daytime obligations. > > > > I am so frustrated and caught between my daytime obligations and refusing to answer the phone. So now this is becoming a huge deal and I really just need to use my time more wisely and set some little boundaries. > > > > Am I wrong? > > > > Thanks, > > PC > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 RE privacy, as long as you do not mention specific state names or town names or street names, business names or any personal names, you are pretty safe here. And you have created an anonymous user name, which is good. If your nada has access to your computer and is computer-savvy, she might be able to hack into your accounts, but nobody can tell who you are just by reading your anonymous posts. (That's why I prefer Yahoo Groups to things like FaceBook, myself; I like more privacy.) I think its OK to just shut off the ringer so all incoming calls will roll over to voice mail when its class-time. Then you can check phone messages during lunch or after school and decide whether a specific call should be answered now or later. I work at home, myself, and I have Caller ID displayed on my phone which is right at my elbow. I can tell if an incoming call is from a client or a friend or if its a sales call, etc. I love it! I think the idea of assigning a special ring-tone to certain individuals works well too, if you have that available on your phone(s). But the bottom line is that yes, you do have the right to decide that class time is work time and its not for personal calls. Nothing wrong with that. -Annie > > > > > > So why is that just last week I announced to nada that I wouldn't be taking phone calls during the day because of another obligation that I have to keep during those hours. (I am so afraid to be specific on here, but you get the idea anyway!) So this week she calls me early a.m. and I resist answering because I know it won't be short and my obligation will be interrupted. There is then a call around lunch time and the message is not very friendly and then an explanation that she is calling for specific information which is by no means an emergency. > > > > > > I am really not trying to be nasty, but I can't meet my daytime obligations if I take every non-emergency phone call. Wouldn't it be nice if it still cost money to call people? I have trouble keeping conversations brief. It is better if I just delay so that there isn't an hour chunk from the middle of the day. I am seriously neglecting my daytime obligations. > > > > > > I am so frustrated and caught between my daytime obligations and refusing to answer the phone. So now this is becoming a huge deal and I really just need to use my time more wisely and set some little boundaries. > > > > > > Am I wrong? > > > > > > Thanks, > > > PC > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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