Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big arts fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser for a little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the things I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at an afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where I'm going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the school understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism after this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In trade for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at my booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I got things like program ads and PA announcements. This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you boundary experts could help me respond. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\ ------------------ * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this Saturday? ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 weeks to discuss CLC xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we raised in the CLC kid's area. Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future stories, etc.? If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making venture. I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses me of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less generous. How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have at the moment: *Possible response* " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward me.I went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. I didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain that this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the summer. But I honestly don’t want to waste any more time and I have nothing to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I’ve decided to spend some time refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 What strikes me about your draft response is that you are still trying to " explain " why you cannot take on this assignment. She asked. You said no. That should be enough. Her snarky " parting shot " doesn't deserve a response AT ALL. Let it hang in silence. Don't give her the satisfaction of writing back. She'll either still be your friend or she won't - but if she is only going to be your friend when you give her whatever she demands, what kind of friend is she? The Nada-friend kind, that's what! > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big arts > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser for a > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the things > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at an > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where I'm > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the school > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism after > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In trade > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at my > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > boundary experts could help me respond. > > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\ ------------------ > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > Saturday? > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > weeks to discuss CLC > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we > raised in the CLC kid's area. > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > stories, etc.? > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > venture. > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses me > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > generous. > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have at > the moment: > > *Possible response* > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward me.I > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. I > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain that > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have nothing > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I wouldn't respond at all. I wouldn't feel a need to defend my decision. I'd feel very satisfied with the amount of work I'd done already, and not the least bit guilty for not doing more, particularly RE something out of left field that was not mentioned earlier as being " part of " the earlier project. So, I'd just ignore the urge to write her back. She gets to feel the way she feels, and you get to not care if she's miffed at you for not donating even more of your free time to her project. When someone starts *expecting* you to do the lions share of the work, such as always having an event or dinner at your home, always picking the kids up from practice, always providing the refreshments, etc... I feel its OK to now and then just say " No, sorry, but I can't do that for you *this time.* " Guilt-free. The statement implies that you HAVE been generous before, but you just can't do it again *this time*. Meaning, you can't do it always and forever, that its someone else's turn *this time.* So, I hope that helps. -Annie > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big arts > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser for a > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the things > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at an > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where I'm > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the school > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism after > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In trade > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at my > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > boundary experts could help me respond. > > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\ ------------------ > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > Saturday? > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > weeks to discuss CLC > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we > raised in the CLC kid's area. > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > stories, etc.? > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > venture. > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses me > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > generous. > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have at > the moment: > > *Possible response* > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward me.I > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. I > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain that > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have nothing > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Thanks guys, that does help. This friend has 2 faces. she owns a tiny business that everyone and their dog wants a piece of for free. So I think she's developed this " business woman " face to deal with those situatiosn. That said, i too own a little tiny start up business and everyone wants me to help them for free. sometimes I'll get 3 requests in one day! For donated help. I deal with it by choosing people who are worth my time and people who arent', but if someone has been loyal to me for years they get a bigger piece of the girlscout pie than someone who hasn't I've called her before on turning her " business woman " face on me, and she has apologized and we worked through it. I guess I want to call her on it again. . . What if I just said it makes me sad that she can't understand my perspective and that I feel hurt by her cold and critical comments? Too needy? On Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 5:27 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > ** > > > I wouldn't respond at all. I wouldn't feel a need to defend my decision. > I'd feel very satisfied with the amount of work I'd done already, and not > the least bit guilty for not doing more, particularly RE something out of > left field that was not mentioned earlier as being " part of " the earlier > project. > > So, I'd just ignore the urge to write her back. She gets to feel the way > she feels, and you get to not care if she's miffed at you for not donating > even more of your free time to her project. > > When someone starts *expecting* you to do the lions share of the work, such > as always having an event or dinner at your home, always picking the kids up > from practice, always providing the refreshments, etc... I feel its OK to > now and then just say " No, sorry, but I can't do that for you *this time.* " > Guilt-free. The statement implies that you HAVE been generous before, but > you just can't do it again *this time*. Meaning, you can't do it always and > forever, that its someone else's turn *this time.* > > So, I hope that helps. > > -Annie > > > > > > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big > arts > > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser > for a > > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the > things > > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at > an > > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where > I'm > > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the > school > > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism > after > > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In > trade > > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at > my > > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > > boundary experts could help me respond. > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > > Saturday? > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > > weeks to discuss CLC > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- > I > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ > we > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > > stories, etc.? > > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > > venture. > > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses > me > > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > > generous. > > > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have > at > > the moment: > > > > *Possible response* > > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward > me.I > > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. > I > > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain > that > > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have > nothing > > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Too needy? Ummmm, yeahhhhh. Do not give her the satisfaction of a reply. You don't owe her an explanation any more than you owe her the free work. Let it hang in the air - she was nasty, it was uncalled-for. Let her stew in it. When she starts paying you, you can start kowtowing. (Hey, we ALL kowtow for somebody, somehow...) LOL - I was in the office on my day off, working an extra-long day today, and trying to deal with an out-of-town boss and a lack of crucial instructions to finish an important project. Another employee saw me hustling up and down the hall and asked why I was in there on my day off, working so hard - I replied, " I do it for the appreciation I'm going to get! " And then we both just about fell down laughing. > > > > > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > > > > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big > > arts > > > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser > > for a > > > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > > > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the > > things > > > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at > > an > > > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > > > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where > > I'm > > > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the > > school > > > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > > > > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > > > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > > > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > > > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism > > after > > > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > > > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In > > trade > > > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at > > my > > > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > > > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > > > > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > > > boundary experts could help me respond. > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > > > Saturday? > > > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > > > weeks to discuss CLC > > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- > > I > > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ > > we > > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > > > stories, etc.? > > > > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > > > venture. > > > > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > > > > > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses > > me > > > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > > > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > > > generous. > > > > > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > > > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have > > at > > > the moment: > > > > > > *Possible response* > > > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward > > me.I > > > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. > > I > > > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > > > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > > > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain > > that > > > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > > > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have > > nothing > > > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > > > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > > > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > > > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > > > > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > > > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 Ok guys, against everyone's better judgement (ha ha) I responded with this: " , I'm not a media buyer trying to negotiate an ad in your magazine. I am your friend. Your friend who needs a break. If you choose not to look at it that way that is your choice. " So we will see - - - - she puts on that biz woman face every once in a while. I have one too - if it were a client I'd respond with the plan I'd agreed to, the hours spent, the value of my time and the value I earned. That always shuts them up (because I'm good) If the value was poor I would include the many ways they had wasted my time so that it couldn't be spent generating value. But this is a friendship, not a client. And this is a critical juncture in that relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but the funny thing about being wrong is that you always get another chance because the same probs come up over and over and over and over. Thanks so much guys! On Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 5:44 PM, shirleyspawn wrote: > ** > > > > Too needy? Ummmm, yeahhhhh. Do not give her the satisfaction of a reply. > You don't owe her an explanation any more than you owe her the free work. > Let it hang in the air - she was nasty, it was uncalled-for. Let her stew in > it. When she starts paying you, you can start kowtowing. (Hey, we ALL kowtow > for somebody, somehow...) LOL - I was in the office on my day off, working > an extra-long day today, and trying to deal with an out-of-town boss and a > lack of crucial instructions to finish an important project. Another > employee saw me hustling up and down the hall and asked why I was in there > on my day off, working so hard - I replied, " I do it for the appreciation > I'm going to get! " And then we both just about fell down laughing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > > > > > > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a > big > > > arts > > > > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund > raiser > > > for a > > > > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in > mind > > > > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the > > > things > > > > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) > at > > > an > > > > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting > out > > > > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's > where > > > I'm > > > > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the > > > school > > > > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > > > > > > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if > she > > > > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > > > > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I > intended to > > > > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less > volunteerism > > > after > > > > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > > > > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In > > > trade > > > > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being > at > > > my > > > > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), > and I > > > > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > > > > > > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if > you > > > > boundary experts could help me respond. > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send > out?? > > > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit > this > > > > Saturday? > > > > > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next > 2 > > > > weeks to discuss CLC > > > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising > 300 > > > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really > cut > > > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a > benefit-- > > > I > > > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the > $$ > > > we > > > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom > person > > > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for > future > > > > stories, etc.? > > > > > > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > > > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good > causes > > > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of > the > > > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate > money-making > > > > venture. > > > > > > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she > accuses > > > me > > > > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > > > > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be > less > > > > generous. > > > > > > > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that > this > > > > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I > have > > > at > > > > the moment: > > > > > > > > *Possible response* > > > > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward > > > me.I > > > > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every > year. > > > I > > > > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because > I > > > > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms > of > > > > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also > explain > > > that > > > > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > > > > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have > > > nothing > > > > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some > time > > > > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your > PR > > > > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who > lacks my > > > > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > > > > > > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a > real > > > > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 I have a number of possible responces. Take your pick. The first which came to mind is go F yourself, but I thought I d try for couth....so... > ------------------------------------------------------------------------\ -------------------------- > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > Saturday? > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > weeks to discuss CLC > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we > raised in the CLC kid's area. > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > stories, etc.? Actually, , no. Nor does the 24 bucks I made for a long day of nearly volunteer work. I d have done better at Mcs. As I told you, I m done volunteering my time like this, and since this is my profession I can either give you a per job price, or I can just bill you hourly. If YOU are not interested, then yes, I think it would be best if you find someone else to exploit. > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > venture. Is this the money making venture which netted me 24 bucks? And no, volunteer or paid work has a beginning and an end. I m sorry that you do not see that doing you one favor doesnt make me your bitch. Since we seem to have a pretty profound disagreement on the value of my time and talents, I think you really need to find someone else. > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " Bitch, if you could do that, why did you try to get it from me for free to begin with? My time is worth something to me. If it is not to you, then again, get yourself another bitch. Beeeyatch. I think you are being much too diplomatic. Or...you could start up some background music...and break out into You dont own me.... Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2011 Report Share Posted August 19, 2011 PERFECT!!!!! > > I have a number of possible responces. Take your pick. > > The first which came to mind is go F yourself, but I thought I d try for > couth....so... > > > ----------------------------------------------------------\ > -------------------------- > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send > out?? > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit > this > > Saturday? > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next > 2 > > weeks to discuss CLC > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising > 300 > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really > cut > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a > benefit-- I > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the > $$ we > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom > person > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for > future > > stories, etc.? > > Actually, , no. Nor does the 24 bucks I made for a long day of > nearly volunteer work. I d have done better at Mcs. As I told > you, I m done volunteering my time like this, and since this is my > profession I can either give you a per job price, or I can just bill you > hourly. If YOU are not interested, then yes, I think it would be best > if you find someone else to exploit. > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good > causes > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of > the > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate > money-making > > venture. > > Is this the money making venture which netted me 24 bucks? And no, > volunteer or paid work has a beginning and an end. I m sorry that you do > not see that doing you one favor doesnt make me your bitch. Since we > seem to have a pretty profound disagreement on the value of my time and > talents, I think you really need to find someone else. > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > Bitch, if you could do that, why did you try to get it from me for free > to begin with? My time is worth something to me. If it is not to you, > then again, get yourself another bitch. Beeeyatch. > > I think you are being much too diplomatic. > > Or...you could start up some background music...and break out into > > You dont own me.... > > Doug > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 GS, she sounds incredibly, incredibly MANIPULATIVE. She has it down to an art. She probably uses that with donors. What a jerk. I love your response but, honestly, i don't think she's even worth it. I would be tempted to not respond at all. I think if you don't respond, she'll realize what a gold mine she's lost (excellent creative staff FREE - gone forever) and SHE will probably email YOU again. I highly doubt she can find someone else to do that for her, unless it's an intern or unless she does it herself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. She's just trying to squeeze more out of you for less. Fiona > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big arts > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser for a > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the things > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at an > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where I'm > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the school > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism after > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In trade > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at my > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > boundary experts could help me respond. > > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\ ------------------ > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > Saturday? > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > weeks to discuss CLC > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we > raised in the CLC kid's area. > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > stories, etc.? > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > venture. > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses me > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > generous. > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have at > the moment: > > *Possible response* > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward me.I > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. I > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain that > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have nothing > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 I think she's just lob one back at you and so on. > > What if I just said it makes me sad that she can't understand my perspective > and that I feel hurt by her cold and critical comments? > > Too needy? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 good for you, GS! Let us know her reaction; should be interesting! > > > > > > > > > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > > > > > > > > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a > > big > > > > arts > > > > > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund > > raiser > > > > for a > > > > > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in > > mind > > > > > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the > > > > things > > > > > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) > > at > > > > an > > > > > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting > > out > > > > > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's > > where > > > > I'm > > > > > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the > > > > school > > > > > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if > > she > > > > > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > > > > > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I > > intended to > > > > > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less > > volunteerism > > > > after > > > > > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > > > > > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In > > > > trade > > > > > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being > > at > > > > my > > > > > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), > > and I > > > > > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > > > > > > > > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if > > you > > > > > boundary experts could help me respond. > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send > > out?? > > > > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit > > this > > > > > Saturday? > > > > > > > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next > > 2 > > > > > weeks to discuss CLC > > > > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising > > 300 > > > > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really > > cut > > > > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > > > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a > > benefit-- > > > > I > > > > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the > > $$ > > > > we > > > > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > > > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom > > person > > > > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for > > future > > > > > stories, etc.? > > > > > > > > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > > > > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good > > causes > > > > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of > > the > > > > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate > > money-making > > > > > venture. > > > > > > > > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she > > accuses > > > > me > > > > > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > > > > > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be > > less > > > > > generous. > > > > > > > > > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that > > this > > > > > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I > > have > > > > at > > > > > the moment: > > > > > > > > > > *Possible response* > > > > > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward > > > > me.I > > > > > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every > > year. > > > > I > > > > > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because > > I > > > > > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms > > of > > > > > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also > > explain > > > > that > > > > > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > > > > > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have > > > > nothing > > > > > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some > > time > > > > > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your > > PR > > > > > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who > > lacks my > > > > > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > > > > > > > > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a > > real > > > > > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 HA HA guys thanks I love the potential responses. Her reaction was that she was trying to help ME and the KID. I think she was trying to help HERSELF! She added on a bunch of stuff she'd never said before about how the event would have gotten me networking with potential clients (umm Hi, I'm about the most networked person I have ever met, so there will still be a charge.) And that the kid really needs me - again, I've spent my life helping kids. I worked in infant mortality for 3 years, cancer prevention for 2 and public health insurance for 4, I volunteer at an afterschool program and also for a homeless shelter. I've already got my " good will " card punched about 10,000 times. So once in a while, i will have to say no even to a good cause - in the interest of paying my own mortgage and essentially " putting my oxygen mask on first. " I just ignored her response and I'm moving on. If she writes or calls I'll see how I feel at that time - but I'm over being treated like my time belongs to someone else and they don't even have to ask nicely for me to do something. Love you guys!!!!! > ** > > > good for you, GS! Let us know her reaction; should be interesting! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > > > > > > > > > > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on > a > > > big > > > > > arts > > > > > > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund > > > raiser > > > > > for a > > > > > > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep > in > > > mind > > > > > > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of > the > > > > > things > > > > > > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR > YEARS) > > > at > > > > > an > > > > > > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids > hurting > > > out > > > > > > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's > > > where > > > > > I'm > > > > > > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of > the > > > > > school > > > > > > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would > if > > > she > > > > > > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set > a > > > > > > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I > > > intended to > > > > > > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less > > > volunteerism > > > > > after > > > > > > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but > positive > > > > > > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty > lame. In > > > > > trade > > > > > > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after > being > > > at > > > > > my > > > > > > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude > customers), > > > and I > > > > > > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > > > > > > > > > > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered > if > > > you > > > > > > boundary experts could help me respond. > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and > send > > > out?? > > > > > > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the > benefit > > > this > > > > > > Saturday? > > > > > > > > > > > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the > next > > > 2 > > > > > > weeks to discuss CLC > > > > > > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them > raising > > > 300 > > > > > > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta > really > > > cut > > > > > > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > > > > > > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a > > > benefit-- > > > > > I > > > > > > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to > the > > > $$ > > > > > we > > > > > > raised in the CLC kid's area. > > > > > > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom > > > person > > > > > > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them > for > > > future > > > > > > stories, etc.? > > > > > > > > > > > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have > been > > > > > > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good > > > causes > > > > > > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension > of > > > the > > > > > > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate > > > money-making > > > > > > venture. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she > > > accuses > > > > > me > > > > > > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me > the > > > > > > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and > be > > > less > > > > > > generous. > > > > > > > > > > > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know > that > > > this > > > > > > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the > response I > > > have > > > > > at > > > > > > the moment: > > > > > > > > > > > > *Possible response* > > > > > > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold > toward > > > > > me.I > > > > > > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have > every > > > year. > > > > > I > > > > > > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but > because > > > I > > > > > > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in > terms > > > of > > > > > > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also > > > explain > > > > > that > > > > > > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of > the > > > > > > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I > have > > > > > nothing > > > > > > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend > some > > > time > > > > > > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing > your > > > PR > > > > > > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who > > > lacks my > > > > > > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > > > > > > > > > > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be > a > > > real > > > > > > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2011 Report Share Posted August 21, 2011 She isn't gracious in accepting a " no " after you have previously donated hours of time? Then she turns mean and blames you for being uncaring? And after you have already had a session of pushy, shovey & make up? You obviously value the relationship more than she does, since she's willing to thrown down the big, hurtful words instead of trying to understand your perspective. Lashing out at you will only hurt you, not shame you into changing your mind. She's not a friend, and you have already explained yourself. > > Thanks guys, that does help. > > This friend has 2 faces. she owns a tiny business that everyone and their > dog wants a piece of for free. So I think she's developed this " business > woman " face to deal with those situatiosn. > > That said, i too own a little tiny start up business and everyone wants me > to help them for free. sometimes I'll get 3 requests in one day! For donated > help. > > I deal with it by choosing people who are worth my time and people who > arent', but if someone has been loyal to me for years they get a bigger > piece of the girlscout pie than someone who hasn't > > I've called her before on turning her " business woman " face on me, and she > has apologized and we worked through it. I guess I want to call her on it > again. . . > > What if I just said it makes me sad that she can't understand my perspective > and that I feel hurt by her cold and critical comments? > > Too needy? > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2011 Report Share Posted August 21, 2011 I wouldn't respond at all. Shame on her for trying to guilt you into more work and not respecting your decision knowing full well that you are trying to reduce your volunteer hours. You made your decision. Stick to it with no apologies. > > OMG I'm super sick of this entitlement hex!!!! > > I just spent about 100 plus hours helping a friend of mine put on a big arts > fest. Yesterday she asked me to do a press release about a fund raiser for a > little kid who is sick - a week after the event closed. Now, keep in mind > that I volunteer about 15 to 20 hours in an average week. Most of the things > I do are in the arts, and I have volunteered for 4 years (FOUR YEARS) at an > afterschool program for kids. I know there are a lot of kids hurting out > there, but I've decided that this school is MY school and that's where I'm > going to put my volunteerism energy. By the way, the principal of the school > understands boundaries, respects mine and has her own. > > So anyway, she asked me to do ANOTHER release, and I said I would if she > could pay me something (I even would have accepted trade). (I set a > boundary). I also talked to her about a month ago about how I intended to > begin to build my freelance practice and do a little less volunteerism after > this event, she thought that was awesome and had nothing but positive > things to say about that goal. The event was actually pretty lame. In trade > for doing the PR I get a booth to sell my art (I made $24 after being at my > booth for 14 hours and encountered about a billion rude customers), and I > got things like program ads and PA announcements. > > This is our conversation after I set my boundary. Now I wondered if you > boundary experts could help me respond. > > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\ ------------------ > * *- " FAVOR-- Can you turn this into a press release and send out?? > Not the call for donations but about the $$ raised and the benefit this > Saturday? > > ALso I want to schedule an exit meeting with you sometime in the next 2 > weeks to discuss CLC > xoxoxxo " NOTE - she wants me to do a press release about them raising 300 > dollars. Umm, not a big enough amount to be worth my time. sorry. > > > *Girlscout -* " Do u have any budget to send my way? I've gotta really cut > back on volunteer stuff. Sorry. " > * * " This is a charity event with no budget, since it is a benefit-- I > am donating my time too-- I was hoping we could make a tie in to the $$ we > raised in the CLC kid's area. > Do the liaisons I introduced you like KRCL or the Bride and groom person > count as a value since now to have relationships to pitch them for future > stories, etc.? > > If you are not interested , I can ask someone else to help. " > > > *Girlscout - * " I'm sorry , I wish I could help. But I have been > getting so many requests that I have to turn down even some good causes > these days in order to have time left to earn a living. " > > > ** " Sorry to hear that you do not see this as an extension of the > post-craft lake press release and feel like it is a seperate money-making > venture. > > I'll put one togehter myself and send it to my contacts. " > > > Anyway, i don't appreciate her cold attitude or the fact that she accuses me > of being uncharitable - the fact is my T is constantly telling me the > opposite - that I'm TOO charitable and I need to charge more and be less > generous. > > How would you guys respond? I just feel I need to let her know that this > type of bs is going to hurt our relationship. This is the response I have at > the moment: > > *Possible response* > " It makes me really sad to hear you sound so critical and cold toward me.I > went above and beyond for CLC (the event) this year as I have every year. I > didn't offer my efforts because of the sponsorship trade but because I > wanted to help a friend. I could easily enumerate my efforts in terms of > hours spent, press clips and dollar value earned. I could also explain that > this effort is not part the plan we agreed on at the beginning of the > summer. But I honestly don't want to waste any more time and I have nothing > to prove. After a summer of volunteerism I've decided to spend some time > refueling: creatively, mentally and financially. I think doing your PR > yourself or finding someone else with similar skills to mine who lacks my > boundaries sounds like a great solution and I wish you luck. " > > Feedback welcome! Thank you for the help as I try to learn to be a real > person and not a stupid KO!!!!! XOXOXO > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.