Re: Haircuts - GS - what does waif boss say about your hair??

[Guest guest]

" Even waif boss goes after mine! "

Get out!! What does she do?

> > >

> > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started researching

> > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off their hair

> > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened to me a

> > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine, straight hair

> > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my hair every

> > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair and

> > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times, and cut

> > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple years later

> > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible. The

> > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush it

> > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard down my

> > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I begged her

> > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school, but she

> > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to look

> > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on me too

> > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about my

> > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have anything

> > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't poor, I

> > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > >

> > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell these

> > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > >

> > > Natalia

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

she touches it all the time, smooth it, breathes an audible sigh of relief

when I put it in a pony tail and she even told me to go brush it once before

a big meeting that I was prepared for and she of course, was not.

Her own hair is pretty much her whole identity - it is one of those hair

sprayed, teased, curled, and perfectly controlled deals where your bangs are

in your eyes all the time. It makes her look like a tired basset hound if

you ask me because it is sculpted around her face and then when her head

nods (cuz she almost dozes off almost every day at work) it flops into her

face like ears. She just turned 60 and I think that controlled hair is very

important to women her age. I also think that she looks like an aging woman

following hair trends from 5 or more years ago to try to feel and look

young. It also kinda makes her look like one of the girls in the Peanuts

comic (haha)

Women in my age group and younger at my office tend to wear their hair

really soft, most of us at my office have our hair long that we then wear

down with no hair spray or in a pony tail for hurried days. None of us think

about all that much. But to her that seems to be totally unacceptable. She

styles and curls and sprays her hair every day. EVERY DAY! Even Saturday! I

havent curled my hair in 2 years ha ha, and the only reason I would is for a

special occasion. I do straighten it, I style it etc etc, but I'm not going

to spend an hour on it before work when I could spend that time working out.

she touches and messes with my hair less since I have set more boundaries

with her, but she still does it.

But seriously, targetting and touching your employees hair all the time when

you are not a hair dresser should be illegal in my opinion!

> **

>

>

> " Even waif boss goes after mine! "

>

> Get out!! What does she do?

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started

> researching

> > > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off their

> hair

> > > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened to

> me a

> > > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine, straight

> hair

> > > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my hair

> every

> > > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair and

> > > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times, and

> cut

> > > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple years

> later

> > > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible. The

> > > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush it

> > > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard down my

> > > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I begged

> her

> > > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school, but

> she

> > > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to look

> > > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on me

> too

> > > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about my

> > > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have

> anything

> > > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't poor,

> I

> > > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > > >

> > > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell

> these

> > > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > > >

> > > > Natalia

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

In my opinion you are well within your rights to hold up a hand in a " wait "

gesture when you see her reach out for a touch, or if she approaches you from

behind you can remove her hand or move away from her and say something like,

" I'm sorry, but having my hair touched makes me uncomfortable. Thanks for

understanding. " And that should do it; but if she makes another attempt after

that, you can get more assertive. " I've asked you to not touch my hair like

that; I find it uncomfortable and inappropriate. Please don't make me have to

mention this again. " If that doesn't do the trick, then, I'd take it up with

her boss, or with human resources.

-Annie

> > > > >

> > > > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started

> > researching

> > > > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off their

> > hair

> > > > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened to

> > me a

> > > > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine, straight

> > hair

> > > > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my hair

> > every

> > > > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair and

> > > > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times, and

> > cut

> > > > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple years

> > later

> > > > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible. The

> > > > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush it

> > > > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard down my

> > > > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I begged

> > her

> > > > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school, but

> > she

> > > > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to look

> > > > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on me

> > too

> > > > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about my

> > > > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have

> > anything

> > > > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't poor,

> > I

> > > > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell

> > these

> > > > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > > > >

> > > > > Natalia

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I agree, that's just creepy that she has thought it ok to even consider touching

your hair. Sounds like an HR issue but she seems to be under control. Ick.

> > > > >

> > > > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started

> > researching

> > > > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off their

> > hair

> > > > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened to

> > me a

> > > > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine, straight

> > hair

> > > > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my hair

> > every

> > > > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair and

> > > > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times, and

> > cut

> > > > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple years

> > later

> > > > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible. The

> > > > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush it

> > > > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard down my

> > > > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I begged

> > her

> > > > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school, but

> > she

> > > > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to look

> > > > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on me

> > too

> > > > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about my

> > > > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have

> > anything

> > > > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't poor,

> > I

> > > > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell

> > these

> > > > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > > > >

> > > > > Natalia

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

You know what she did today ???? A friend of ours at work is pregnant. We

all love the girl who is preggers and are so happy for her. The pile of

gifts on her desk is huge, even the young men in the office have been making

her things.

so anyway, the preggers girl, jill is 5 weeks out from delivery. So Jill and

I were talking about some important work stuff. Waif boss interrupts, looks

closely at Jill and starts STROKING HER BELLY

Um duh doesn't everyone know to ask first????

And then she goes " You really are pregnant. i can see it now, you really

really are going to have a baby " (in other words, you are huge and it isn't

true until I, waif boss, say it is)

And i'm Like holy shit - doesn't everyone know that the expanding girth of

pregnancy isn't a favorite topic esp in the workplace and not in the privacy

of an intimate friendship

If I had been Jill I probably would have grabbed her hand and held it (as if

I were being sweet but really saying stop) and then said, you know my girth

isn't my favorite topic of conversation. how about them mets, yankees,

dolphins etc (I hate organized sports and everyone knows it so ha ha that

would be pretty clear).

I know I should be more direct, but I'm working on it.

so anyway, i felt violated just by watching her violate someone else. Jill

didn't seem to mind. she is pretty good friends with waif boss, but I would

NOT have been cool with that. Hair touching times what - a hundred?

> **

>

>

> I agree, that's just creepy that she has thought it ok to even consider

> touching your hair. Sounds like an HR issue but she seems to be under

> control. Ick.

>

>

>

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started

> > > researching

> > > > > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off

> their

> > > hair

> > > > > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened

> to

> > > me a

> > > > > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine,

> straight

> > > hair

> > > > > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my

> hair

> > > every

> > > > > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair

> and

> > > > > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times,

> and

> > > cut

> > > > > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple

> years

> > > later

> > > > > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible.

> The

> > > > > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush

> it

> > > > > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard

> down my

> > > > > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I

> begged

> > > her

> > > > > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school,

> but

> > > she

> > > > > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to

> look

> > > > > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on

> me

> > > too

> > > > > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about

> my

> > > > > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have

> > > anything

> > > > > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't

> poor,

> > > I

> > > > > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell

> > > these

> > > > > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Natalia

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Ugh! I am with you!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Ok, this may seem like an odd topic, but when I first started

> > > > researching

> > > > > > BPD I read a few stories about some people's Nadas chopping off

> > their

> > > > hair

> > > > > > when they were young. Did this happen to any of you? This happened

> > to

> > > > me a

> > > > > > few times that I can remember. When I was little, I had fine,

> > straight

> > > > hair

> > > > > > that was nice and thick. Nada would rip the hairbrush through my

> > hair

> > > > every

> > > > > > morning until I was crying from the pain. Nada would curse my hair

> > and

> > > > > > scream at me. She dragged me to the hairdresser a couple of times,

> > and

> > > > cut

> > > > > > my hair all off, once into a " Dorthy Hamill " and then a couple

> > years

> > > > later

> > > > > > into a " shag " . Suffice it to say, I looked terrible. Just terrible.

> > The

> > > > > > thing is, My hair was not " out of control " . She just wouldn't brush

> > it

> > > > > > correctly. She would start at the roots and drag the brush hard

> > down my

> > > > > > head. In a way, I think she didn't want me to even look nice. I

> > begged

> > > > her

> > > > > > to make me look like the other little girls in elementary school,

> > but

> > > > she

> > > > > > refused to listen to me. What I was trying to say, was I wanted to

> > look

> > > > > > taken care of, like someone cared. The other little kids picked on

> > me

> > > > too

> > > > > > for the way I looked, I can clearly remember telling a girl about

> > my

> > > > > > birthday presents and she said, " You are a liar. You don't have

> > > > anything

> > > > > > nice. Just look at you, you are POOR. " But at the time, I wasn't

> > poor,

> > > > I

> > > > > > just wasn't looked after properly.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, thanks for listening. It's kind of embarrassing to tell

> > > > these

> > > > > > stories, but I think you all understand on some level or another.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Natalia

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >