She is calling my phone non-stop

[Guest guest]

I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the south

& my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact me. The

hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a good

excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it makes me

feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone or I am

gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for subtlety

huh nada?

Thanks,

Natalia

[Guest guest]

Can you unplug your phone for a little while? After all, when she's calling

nonstop it's not allowing any other callers to get through anyway--so maybe

you can give yourself a little bit of peace by unplugging the phone for

perhaps an hour or two (or longer!).

> **

>

>

> I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

> south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to

> contact me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels

> like it is a good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like

> every 5 minutes today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the

> phone and screaming at her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

>

> I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

> makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that

> phone or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

>

> Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

> subtlety huh nada?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Natalia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's a tough one. Its not a good idea to reward her persistence with a return

call, its like training her that if she persists long enough with the " psycho

dialing " (as I have heard it described) you will eventually pick up.

On the other hand... Ack. I suppose you could phone her and say something

like, " I understand that you are feeling panicked, mother, but the truth is that

you are in no danger. I am in no danger. Everything is fine. You have to find

ways to calm yourself down, working yourself up into hysteria like this is

pointless and bad for your health. I can't help you if you are having an

emergency. If you are having a genuine emergency, then you need to call 911.

OK? Do you understand me? Call 911, not me. Everything is fine, you are fine.

I need to go now. "

I think that's what I'd do, because I live 2K miles away from my nada and

literally can't help her in an emergency, even if I was in contact with her.

-Annie

>

> I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

>

> I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it makes

me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone or I am

gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

>

> Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Natalia

>

[Guest guest]

Natalia,

Hi, Im just learning of my mother and her having BDP.

I experience the same thing all the time - my mother calls and calls until she

gets a hold of me. She refuses to leave a message most of the time in spite of

me telling her time and time again, if she needs something to please leave a

message. When I think back, when she had something to share, good or bad, she

needed to unload and she would tell me as she had noone else to talk to. People

with BDP - they are constantly faced with racing thoughts and have to get stuff

off of their mind. Like previous email from Annie which was great advice, you

may just have to pick up and acknowledge whatever fear they are going thru

because sometimes that is all they need. She does not know how to deal with her

emotions/feelings and has to place it elsewhere. Ignoring her calls may only

escalate her fear and concern is when she does finally get a hold of you, she

may lash out on you, unfortunately. I used to try ignoring her calls but if she

didnt hear from me in a reasonable amount of time, she started calling everyone

she knew to physically track me down as she now fears something happened to me.

Otherwise, why wouldnt I have returned her call. Its a vicious never ending

cycle.

I feel your pain!

Chasi

> >

> > I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

> >

> > I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone

or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

> >

> > Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Natalia

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Natalia,

I have this same problem with my mother. I used to pick up and scream at her

until I finally learned that did not help. I learned just not to pick up, the

more you pick up and return her calls the more she learns that it is okay

behavior and will continue to do it in the future.

If you want to pick up to talk to her, or if you want to call her back just make

sure you do it when you want to because you want to... not because she is

forcing you to do it by yelling at you when you don't or continuing to call.

(this is what my mother does) and living by your mothers rules just reinforces

their behavior, sadly I have to look at my mom like training a new puppy, you

have to let them know what is and is not okay.

My mother used to call my friends and work or come by my work in person if she

could not get ahold of me on my cell phone, it took me telling her that it is

not okay to do that and she needs to stop. I told her in the nicest way possible

that I am fine and I am not always going to answer when she calls, I will answer

when I have the chance or when I want to talk. She didn't take that well, but

after telling her that repeatedly I think she got it because I only hear from

her about 8 times a day now versus the 35 that I was getting.

Sorry Im not much help but at least you know you aren't alone in all this!

> > >

> > > I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

> > >

> > > I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone

or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

> > >

> > > Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > >

> > > Natalia

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Natalia,

Nope you are not alone and its nice to feel less along reading all of these

stories that are so similar to mine it's mind blowing.

My mother also likes to use the phone connection to her advantage especially

when she's in her emotional crisis state. Even on our good days, I get anxiety

when I see the word 'Mom' show up on my phone. At one point when I was really

angry with her, I changed it to her real name because seeing the word mom and

then listening or reading to whatever she would have to say just seemed so

hurtful to me. Knowing that 'this' is what my Mom is saying to me.

Some days, I'll get about 10 voicemails and maybe 30 text messages. I agree with

everyones advice to just not answer or firmly say that you understand she's

worried but it's not okay for her to call over and over again. Still, she may

continue but at least you have defended yourself and feel less hopeless. There

have been plenty of times where I've told my nada I would block her number

because of the way she uses the phone, I've never actually done it but I think

this has set some boundaries with how she talks to me on the phone because she's

gotten better since I've started saying that. When she leaves nasty voice-mails,

I let her know that I don't listen to them and they will just be deleted right

away so there's no point in leaving them. I feel like this has helped too. You

just have to be consistent with your boundaries with dealing with someone who

has bpd, even when you your self just gets frustrated and wants to blow up and

act the way she does. Just because she's having a crisis day, doesn't mean you

need to.

Stay strong,

Cammisha

> > > >

> > > > I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in

the south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to

contact me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it

is a good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5

minutes today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and

screaming at her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

> > > >

> > > > I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone

or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

> > > >

> > > > Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

> > > >

> > > > Thanks,

> > > >

> > > > Natalia

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Just have a friend answer and tell her you were swept away by the huge waves and

not to expect to hear from you ever again.

sva

>

> I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

>

> I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it makes

me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone or I am

gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

>

> Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Natalia

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh, I can completely relate. My nada recently became like a stalker, calling me

at work and home b/c I wasn't calling her back. It was tiring.

I don't have much good advice, I felt the same urgency you're feeling and the

same war in me - " should I pick it up?? " " should I call her back?? " " she's

going to yell at me! "

I just didn't call her back and didn't pick up. I let her keep calling. And her

messages got more and more weird and hysterical. Eventually, I just wrote her,

snail mail, and told her to piss off, in so many words, that I didn't have to

run when she called.

Hang in there! I so know how you feel: the guilt and fear, yet excitement that

we're doing something for us for a change in this relationship. Stay strong!!!!

>

> I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

>

> I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it makes

me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone or I am

gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

>

> Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Natalia

>

[Guest guest]

I was going to say unplug the phone and/or get a new phone number, but I'm

liking the swept away. I may even raise to that you became a vampire and now

you are busy creating your own vampire army so you don't have time to talk.

Try to play sucking sounds on your computer in the background.

> **

>

>

> Ugh, I can completely relate. My nada recently became like a stalker,

> calling me at work and home b/c I wasn't calling her back. It was tiring.

>

> I don't have much good advice, I felt the same urgency you're feeling and

> the same war in me - " should I pick it up?? " " should I call her back?? "

> " she's going to yell at me! "

>

> I just didn't call her back and didn't pick up. I let her keep calling. And

> her messages got more and more weird and hysterical. Eventually, I just

> wrote her, snail mail, and told her to piss off, in so many words, that I

> didn't have to run when she called.

>

> Hang in there! I so know how you feel: the guilt and fear, yet excitement

> that we're doing something for us for a change in this relationship. Stay

> strong!!!!

>

>

>

> >

> > I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

> south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to

> contact me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels

> like it is a good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like

> every 5 minutes today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the

> phone and screaming at her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

> >

> > I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

> makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that

> phone or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

> >

> > Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

> subtlety huh nada?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Natalia

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If it's a land line, I think you can set it up so that you don't get calls from

blocked numbers. They get a recording or something that says something like,

" screw you. I don't take calls from a-holes that block their number. "

--- In WTOAdultChildren1 , Girlscout Cowboy

She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes today.

[Guest guest]

Haven't been on here for a long time but yor post struck a nerve. You are not

alone! Before I went nc with nada 4 years ago, I experienced the same thing.

Non-stop phone calls and voice mails no matter what boundaries I set. She even

sent the local police out once becasue I wasn't answering and she was convinced

my DH had imprisoned me in the house and was beating me to a pulp. Yeah, ok.

She will forever be enshrined in that city's police department's records as a

" code 94 " = mental subject. My special name for her calls is " poison phone

calls " because they were always toxic or full of venom.

>

> I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

>

> I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it makes

me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone or I am

gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

>

> Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Natalia

>

[Guest guest]

Annie is right!!

Depending on who your land line carrier is you press * and then some numbers and

it will not even allow blocked numbers to come through. It gives them a

recording saying " I'm sorry but this person does not accept anonymous numbers " .

Google it or call your phone company and they will tell you how to do it.

Now for cell phones - I am about to buy a new Droid. And I almost jumped out of

my chair when I found there is an app to block text messages and phone calls

from certain numbers!!!

I was going to buy it in December but was so excited I just called my husband

and asked if I could buy it this week - LOL!!!

Oh the things KOs get excited about.

I would take my phone off the hook for a while if it were me. If you have a cell

phone, just tell your friends to call that for a while. Or turn your ringer off!

So sorry!

> >

> > I would appreciate any advice here guys...here is the deal: I live in the

south & my nada seems to be using this hurricane event as a reason to contact

me. The hurricane isn't even coming here, but she probably feels like it is a

good excuse. She is calling my phone from a blocked number like every 5 minutes

today. It is driving me crazy. I feel like answering the phone and screaming at

her to leave me alone-but I doubt that would help.

> >

> > I feel like a little kid when she does this kind of stuff. Honestly, it

makes me feel like a helpless child again, like oh, I better answer that phone

or I am gonna be in TROUBLLLEEEEE.

> >

> > Ugh, the phone just TWO MORE TIMES while I was typing this, so much for

subtlety huh nada?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Natalia

> >

>