boundary update from girlscout - greedy nonprofit attacks

[Guest guest]

Hey friends, if you were the director of a tiny nonprofit that got by with

help from friends who donated time and money, would you threaten, criticize,

one-up and " tell on " the people you needed to help you?

I didn't think so.

But that has happened to me 2 times this week. first it was my friend who I

volunteered about 130 hrs this summer for an event. 6 days after the event,

she told me she needed me to do more stuff and I said no. She then tried to

pull every string in the book -from accusing me of being uncharitable to

saying I was breaching our agreement. I did neither and my boyfriend

resigned his volunteer stuff with her yesterday as well and I defriended her

on facebook too. she has been sending sweetie pie messages to boyfriend in

response, saying she has a gift for me and stuff like that. Umm, stuff your

gift up your ass sweetie.

So then today. . . . I got a request from a nonprofit I have been helping to

do some work. i got my company involved in it about 2 years ago. They have

been willing to accept our help, but have done nothing to help us. In fact,

at one point the director told me I couldn't run the words I wrote in their

email newsletter because she didn't like them, even though it was part of

our agreement. That one came to blows. So anyway, i nicely said that i

didn't think we wanted to continue the sponsorship. They had a 100 percent

staffing change this summer, and my friend who worked there is gone, I was

unimpressed, my boss was unimpressed etc etc etc so I said no thanks.

The new director, who I have never met didn't even say hi, hello or

introduce herself. She just launched into veiled threats about the signed

contract and suggested they had bent over backwards for us. She copied the

CEO/president of my company on the hateful e-mail.

Its been all I can do for the past 6 hours since I got it to resist

responding with " Oh, so you just finished reading How to Win Friends and

Influence People? " Me too, but you must have a chapter I don't have, because

I missed the part about how you build a relationship with veiled threats and

by pulling rank, by making callous demands and treating them like they are

less than human " If she pushes it, I could so easily just go and time dump

into that job number and send her a report saying that we had exceeded the

allocated budget. Or I coud do her PR wrong. Or I could just pretend to miss

deadlines. Or I could just approach it very lazily like my coworkers

approach everything. There are so many many ways i could f*ck with her - I

dont' get why she would want to make me hate her so fast out of the shoot.

. . . . . Add to that that my direct boss is extremely close to her biggest

financial supporter and can advise them pull the plug on that at any time.

Anyway, isn't it strange!!!! I can't believe people who have to beg for

donated help would make demands like that -I help tons of people but its

only ever for the relationship, not because they insisted I should- but here

we have 2 in a single week!!!

in other news, i gently corrected the bossy girl in my dance co over

the weekend and she behaved MUCH better this week - so heres to hoping

and thats the boundary/entitlement issue update for today. Gs

[Guest guest]

Revenge is an unsatisfying endeavor.

If you are truly contractually obligated to do anything, honor your

contract. If you are not, tell her to take it up with the attorneys.

If you are bound to do work for them, do it to the best of your ability.

Don t let that C..t drag you down to less than you are. What you do,

do professionally and excellently. And then, if you do have

obligations, once you discharge them, with an excellent result, let her

know that is the end of your association because you will not work with

people who treat you that way.

If you are not obligated to do anything, then refer her to the contract

and politely tell her the terms do not require any further services from

your firm and you will not be working with them.

A tiny little non profit, what will she do? Sue? With what?

You could F..k with her in a lot of ways, but the best is do break the

association, and let those who matter know why.

Never wrestle with a harpy. You get gunk on your clothes, and walk away

with their smell on your hands.

Just like, never argue with nada.

For the same reason.

Let her be the C..t. You be the Pro.

Doug

>

> Hey friends, if you were the director of a tiny nonprofit that got by

with

> help from friends who donated time and money, would you threaten,

criticize,

> one-up and " tell on " the people you needed to help you?

>

> I didn't think so.

>

> But that has happened to me 2 times this week. first it was my friend

who I

> volunteered about 130 hrs this summer for an event. 6 days after the

event,

> she told me she needed me to do more stuff and I said no. She then

tried to

> pull every string in the book -from accusing me of being uncharitable

to

> saying I was breaching our agreement. I did neither and my boyfriend

> resigned his volunteer stuff with her yesterday as well and I

defriended her

> on facebook too. she has been sending sweetie pie messages to

boyfriend in

> response, saying she has a gift for me and stuff like that. Umm, stuff

your

> gift up your ass sweetie.

>

> So then today. . . . I got a request from a nonprofit I have been

helping to

> do some work. i got my company involved in it about 2 years ago. They

have

> been willing to accept our help, but have done nothing to help us. In

fact,

> at one point the director told me I couldn't run the words I wrote in

their

> email newsletter because she didn't like them, even though it was part

of

> our agreement. That one came to blows. So anyway, i nicely said that i

> didn't think we wanted to continue the sponsorship. They had a 100

percent

> staffing change this summer, and my friend who worked there is gone, I

was

> unimpressed, my boss was unimpressed etc etc etc so I said no thanks.

>

> The new director, who I have never met didn't even say hi, hello or

> introduce herself. She just launched into veiled threats about the

signed

> contract and suggested they had bent over backwards for us. She copied

the

> CEO/president of my company on the hateful e-mail.

>

> Its been all I can do for the past 6 hours since I got it to resist

> responding with " Oh, so you just finished reading How to Win Friends

and

> Influence People? " Me too, but you must have a chapter I don't have,

because

> I missed the part about how you build a relationship with veiled

threats and

> by pulling rank, by making callous demands and treating them like they

are

> less than human " If she pushes it, I could so easily just go and time

dump

> into that job number and send her a report saying that we had exceeded

the

> allocated budget. Or I coud do her PR wrong. Or I could just pretend

to miss

> deadlines. Or I could just approach it very lazily like my coworkers

> approach everything. There are so many many ways i could f*ck with her

- I

> dont' get why she would want to make me hate her so fast out of the

shoot.

> . . . . . Add to that that my direct boss is extremely close to her

biggest

> financial supporter and can advise them pull the plug on that at any

time.

>

> Anyway, isn't it strange!!!! I can't believe people who have to beg

for

> donated help would make demands like that -I help tons of people but

its

> only ever for the relationship, not because they insisted I should-

but here

> we have 2 in a single week!!!

>

> in other news, i gently corrected the bossy girl in my dance co over

> the weekend and she behaved MUCH better this week - so heres to hoping

>

> and thats the boundary/entitlement issue update for today. Gs

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ha ha, good advice Doug. Luckily my boss backed me. The contract is not

binding - I should know, i wrote it myself. I think we are done - no need to

give free time to a harpy. I haven't had an update today on how the phone

call went (she called my boss), but he backed me all the way.

> **

>

>

>

> Revenge is an unsatisfying endeavor.

>

> If you are truly contractually obligated to do anything, honor your

> contract. If you are not, tell her to take it up with the attorneys.

>

> If you are bound to do work for them, do it to the best of your ability.

> Don t let that C..t drag you down to less than you are. What you do,

> do professionally and excellently. And then, if you do have

> obligations, once you discharge them, with an excellent result, let her

> know that is the end of your association because you will not work with

> people who treat you that way.

>

> If you are not obligated to do anything, then refer her to the contract

> and politely tell her the terms do not require any further services from

> your firm and you will not be working with them.

>

> A tiny little non profit, what will she do? Sue? With what?

>

> You could F..k with her in a lot of ways, but the best is do break the

> association, and let those who matter know why.

>

> Never wrestle with a harpy. You get gunk on your clothes, and walk away

> with their smell on your hands.

>

> Just like, never argue with nada.

>

> For the same reason.

>

> Let her be the C..t. You be the Pro.

>

> Doug

>

>

> >

> > Hey friends, if you were the director of a tiny nonprofit that got by

> with

> > help from friends who donated time and money, would you threaten,

> criticize,

> > one-up and " tell on " the people you needed to help you?

> >

> > I didn't think so.

> >

> > But that has happened to me 2 times this week. first it was my friend

> who I

> > volunteered about 130 hrs this summer for an event. 6 days after the

> event,

> > she told me she needed me to do more stuff and I said no. She then

> tried to

> > pull every string in the book -from accusing me of being uncharitable

> to

> > saying I was breaching our agreement. I did neither and my boyfriend

> > resigned his volunteer stuff with her yesterday as well and I

> defriended her

> > on facebook too. she has been sending sweetie pie messages to

> boyfriend in

> > response, saying she has a gift for me and stuff like that. Umm, stuff

> your

> > gift up your ass sweetie.

> >

> > So then today. . . . I got a request from a nonprofit I have been

> helping to

> > do some work. i got my company involved in it about 2 years ago. They

> have

> > been willing to accept our help, but have done nothing to help us. In

> fact,

> > at one point the director told me I couldn't run the words I wrote in

> their

> > email newsletter because she didn't like them, even though it was part

> of

> > our agreement. That one came to blows. So anyway, i nicely said that i

> > didn't think we wanted to continue the sponsorship. They had a 100

> percent

> > staffing change this summer, and my friend who worked there is gone, I

> was

> > unimpressed, my boss was unimpressed etc etc etc so I said no thanks.

> >

> > The new director, who I have never met didn't even say hi, hello or

> > introduce herself. She just launched into veiled threats about the

> signed

> > contract and suggested they had bent over backwards for us. She copied

> the

> > CEO/president of my company on the hateful e-mail.

> >

> > Its been all I can do for the past 6 hours since I got it to resist

> > responding with " Oh, so you just finished reading How to Win Friends

> and

> > Influence People? " Me too, but you must have a chapter I don't have,

> because

> > I missed the part about how you build a relationship with veiled

> threats and

> > by pulling rank, by making callous demands and treating them like they

> are

> > less than human " If she pushes it, I could so easily just go and time

> dump

> > into that job number and send her a report saying that we had exceeded

> the

> > allocated budget. Or I coud do her PR wrong. Or I could just pretend

> to miss

> > deadlines. Or I could just approach it very lazily like my coworkers

> > approach everything. There are so many many ways i could f*ck with her

> - I

> > dont' get why she would want to make me hate her so fast out of the

> shoot.

> > . . . . . Add to that that my direct boss is extremely close to her

> biggest

> > financial supporter and can advise them pull the plug on that at any

> time.

> >

> > Anyway, isn't it strange!!!! I can't believe people who have to beg

> for

> > donated help would make demands like that -I help tons of people but

> its

> > only ever for the relationship, not because they insisted I should-

> but here

> > we have 2 in a single week!!!

> >

> > in other news, i gently corrected the bossy girl in my dance co over

> > the weekend and she behaved MUCH better this week - so heres to hoping

>

> >

> > and thats the boundary/entitlement issue update for today. Gs

> >

> >

> >