Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

[Guest guest]

I certainly do understand Kate's about taking care of so many and needing/wanting to be taken care of sometimes as well. I take care of everyone--even the poultry:) I feel like people (read family) don't realize that I do so much for them. I don't know that is actually true but that's the way it feels to me. Yesterday my son, , took me to the dentist. I felt like I was imposing on him because he has to take all four of his kids along because their mom is at work. It's a half hour drive to town and I was in the dentist for a good 2 hours. While I was in the dentist's office, and the kids went to the feed store to buy a bale of straw and a bale of hay. Then he took the kids to the park to play. Well, three of the kids played but little Miss

who is 14 certainly can't PLAY, can she? lol She sits and looks pretty even though there were no cute boys there. Anyway.... when I came out of the dentist's I was nearly in shock from the pain. The kids wanted to go somewhere to get a snack but said "no, Gramma wants to go home I'm sure." He was SO right! Then he said he was going to stop at the store to get me some pudding. I said "no I just want to go home." But he stopped anyway and brought me out pudding, yogurt and a berry drink. Even though I didn't want to stop anywhere I have to tell you it made me feel really loved that he did that for me. Normally I don't have special foods after seeing the dentist but this time I guess I looked like I needed something special, huh? Then later in the evening I was sitting at the table and my 12 year old granddaughter, Kelsey, looked at me and asked "how are you doing?" I burst

into tears. What a big cry baby I am. And poor Kelsey didn't know what to say then....I realize I am rambling when I meant to give a concise, clear response to Kate's email. You'll have to forgive me folks but my thought processes are fried today.hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 1:32:46 PMSubject: update/kate

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and

short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway

place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty

for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

[Guest guest]

It's ok, you can just say the anesthesia finally reached the brain...

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- update/kate

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

[Guest guest]

Everyone wants to be pampered sometimes. I am so glad you got your pudding etc. You will remain in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

update/kate

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

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[Guest guest]

just so you know i am going to pass this to a bc group . see we all have this..not just in ms ..but in day to day life ...i will remove your name .....welcome to my life..i was the fix it mom...give it to mom she can fix it...you tell mom she knows just what to do..will back then i did...not to day..my mind is not my own..it is some place..not in my head...and you know what..i think my kids like it this way most of the time, it is fun. to see mom be nutty ..and my son called just to day to tell me ...if you need something you call me ...you did it for all of us...tell us help you...i some times forget ...it feels good to be needed...i know i am needed..but i sometimes forget THEY need to feel needs also...( hope this came out right) chemo day ( my fun day ) we forget they are not just our kids...we forget the are men and women ...i have been

told my all of the kids mine and herb's...let us help...just let us help ...and i have to put my I CAN DO IT ...aside, and give them the right to help me...i hope this comes out the way i want it to..i wish you peace>>>debbi brant

I certainly do understand Kate's about taking care of so many and needing/wanting to be taken care of sometimes as well. I take care of everyone--even the poultry:) I feel like people (read family) don't realize that I do so much for them. I don't know that is actually true but that's the way it feels to me. Yesterday my son, , took me to the dentist. I felt like I was imposing on him because he has to take all four of his kids along because their mom is at work. It's a half hour drive to town and I was in the dentist for a good 2 hours. While I was in the dentist's office, and the kids went to the feed store to buy a bale of straw and a bale of hay. Then he took the kids to the park to play. Well, three of the kids played but little Miss

who is 14 certainly can't PLAY, can she? lol She sits and looks pretty even though there were no cute boys there. Anyway.... when I came out of the dentist's I was nearly in shock from the pain. The kids wanted to go somewhere to get a snack but said "no, Gramma wants to go home I'm sure." He was SO right! Then he said he was going to stop at the store to get me some pudding. I said "no I just want to go home." But he stopped anyway and brought me out pudding, yogurt and a berry drink. Even though I didn't want to stop anywhere I have to tell you it made me feel really loved that he did that for me. Normally I don't have special foods after seeing the dentist but this time I guess I looked like I needed something special, huh? Then later in the evening I was sitting at the table and my 12 year old granddaughter, Kelsey, looked at me and asked "how are you doing?" I burst

into tears. What a big cry baby I am. And poor Kelsey didn't know what to say then....I realize I am rambling when I meant to give a concise, clear response to Kate's email. You'll have to forgive me folks but my thought processes are fried today.hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. From: Sent: T

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and

short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway

place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty

for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

[Guest guest]

It came out perfect. You are so right Debbie. You are in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

-----Original Message-----From: jewishbaby2010@...Sent: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:19:58 -0700 (PDT)To: mserslife , anxietydepressionandbreastcancer , breastcancer2 , theothersideofcancer-nowwhat Subject: Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

just so you know i am going to pass this to a bc group . see we all have this..not just in ms ..but in day to day life ...i will remove your name .....welcome to my life..i was the fix it mom...give it to mom she can fix it...you tell mom she knows just what to do..will back then i did...not to day..my mind is not my own..it is some place..not in my head...and you know what..i think my kids like it this way most of the time, it is fun. to see mom be nutty ..and my son called just to day to tell me ...if you need something you call me ...you did it for all of us...tell us help you...i some times forget ...it feels good to be needed...i know i am needed..but i sometimes forget THEY need to feel needs also...( hope this came out right) chemo day ( my fun day ) we forget they are not just our kids...we forget the are men and women ...i have been told my all of the kids mine and herb's...let us help...just let us help ...and i have to put my I CAN DO IT ...aside, and give them the right to help me...i hope this comes out the way i want it to..i wish you peace>>>debbi brant

I certainly do understand Kate's about taking care of so many and needing/wanting to be taken care of sometimes as well. I take care of everyone--even the poultry:) I feel like people (read family) don't realize that I do so much for them. I don't know that is actually true but that's the way it feels to me. Yesterday my son, , took me to the dentist. I felt like I was imposing on him because he has to take all four of his kids along because their mom is at work. It's a half hour drive to town and I was in the dentist for a good 2 hours. While I was in the dentist's office, and the kids went to the feed store to buy a bale of straw and a bale of hay. Then he took the kids to the park to play. Well, three of the kids played but little Miss who is 14 certainly can't PLAY, can she? lol She sits and looks pretty even though there were no cute boys there. Anyway.... when I came out of the dentist's I was nearly in shock from the pain. The kids wanted to go somewhere to get a snack but said "no, Gramma wants to go home I'm sure." He was SO right! Then he said he was going to stop at the store to get me some pudding. I said "no I just want to go home." But he stopped anyway and brought me out pudding, yogurt and a berry drink. Even though I didn't want to stop anywhere I have to tell you it made me feel really loved that he did that for me. Normally I don't have special foods after seeing the dentist but this time I guess I looked like I needed something special, huh? Then later in the evening I was sitting at the table and my 12 year old granddaughter, Kelsey, looked at me and asked "how are you doing?" I burst into tears. What a big cry baby I am. And poor Kelsey didn't know what to say then....I realize I am rambling when I meant to give a concise, clear response to Kate's email. You'll have to forgive me folks but my thought processes are fried today.hugs

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

From: Sent: T

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

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[Guest guest]

That just might be true;) SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 3:54:07 PMSubject: Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

It's ok, you can just say the anesthesia finally reached the brain...

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- update/kate

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal

neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only

have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbi....I have always been so strong and independent. I relied on ME. lol Now I have to rely on others to take me wherever I go. I rely on others to help me do the things I can't do on my own. I get very frustrated with it. Hang in there Debbi. You go through so much with the chemo and MS, too. love SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or

defects. To: MSersLife ; anxietydepressionandbreastcancer ; breastcancer2 ; TheOtherSideofCancer-NowWhat Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 4:19:58 PMSubject: Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

just so you know i am going to pass this to a bc group . see we all have this..not just in ms ..but in day to day life ...i will remove your name .....welcome to my life..i was the fix it mom...give it to mom she can fix it...you tell mom she knows just what to do..will back then i did...not to day..my mind is not my own..it is some place..not in my head...and you know what..i think my kids like it this way most of the time, it is fun. to see mom be nutty ..and my son called just to day to tell me ...if you need something you call me ...you did it for all of us...tell us help you...i some times forget ...it feels good to be needed...i know i am needed..but i sometimes forget THEY need to feel needs also...( hope this came out right) chemo day ( my fun day ) we forget they are not just our kids...we forget the are men and women ...i

have been

told my all of the kids mine and herb's...let us help...just let us help ...and i have to put my I CAN DO IT ...aside, and give them the right to help me...i hope this comes out the way i want it to..i wish you peace>>>debbi brant

I certainly do understand Kate's about taking care of so many and needing/wanting to be taken care of sometimes as well. I take care of everyone--even the poultry:) I feel like people (read family) don't realize that I do so much for them. I don't know that is actually true but that's the way it feels to me. Yesterday my son, , took me to the dentist. I felt like I was imposing on him because he has to take all four of his kids along because their mom is at work. It's a half hour drive to town and I was in the dentist for a good 2 hours. While I was in the dentist's office, and the kids went to the feed store to buy a bale of straw and a bale of hay. Then he took the kids to the park to play. Well, three of the kids played but little Miss

who is 14 certainly can't PLAY, can she? lol She sits and looks pretty even though there were no cute boys there. Anyway.... when I came out of the dentist's I was nearly in shock from the pain. The kids wanted to go somewhere to get a snack but said "no, Gramma wants to go home I'm sure." He was SO right! Then he said he was going to stop at the store to get me some pudding. I said "no I just want to go home." But he stopped anyway and brought me out pudding, yogurt and a berry drink. Even though I didn't want to stop anywhere I have to tell you it made me feel really loved that he did that for me. Normally I don't have special foods after seeing the dentist but this time I guess I looked like I needed something special, huh? Then later in the evening I was sitting at the table and my 12 year old granddaughter, Kelsey, looked at me and asked "how are you doing?" I burst

into tears. What a big cry baby I am. And poor Kelsey didn't know what to say then....I realize I am rambling when I meant to give a concise, clear response to Kate's email. You'll have to forgive me folks but my thought processes are fried today.hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. From: Sent: T

Hi all,Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and

short summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yetquick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this weekfor each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kindof a relief!I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been buggingme a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and abit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do still getsome itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should just bethankful that there is something I can take.I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a real long time.The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional conference--usually,it is in some faraway

place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the TNA; I thinkit is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all do if you were me?On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for her sophmore yearat the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but it is so hard to watchmy kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow up and succeed,which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year old is in her very firstapt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first apt, as she'll be livingoff campus.Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care of you? Not that Ihave anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I take care of so many, andI only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose I'm just having a pityparty

for myself.I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate

[Guest guest]

I know how you feel Sharon. After my father died (I had just turned 7) I felt responsible for my mother. I'd ask God to please come and take me instead so my mother could be happy again. When she had migraines, she'd say things like "if I had a gun I'd shoot myself", etc. so I'd ask God to take her to be happy and not hurt with my father. Then feel such guilt that I was too young to understand.

My feeling responsible for her made me turn down scholarships to various universities where I could have got a degree in journalism. Instead I went to the local U, accepted the extra $ from her to buy a newer car than I had the money for. Of course my mind didn't remember that there were always strings attached to anything I was given. Car meant being her chauffeur. Nothing was given without strings attached.

After U graduation I married but all for the wrong reasons. To get out of the house, to experience what being part of a family was like (his was great, at least in the early years). And I stuck it out for 27 yrs even tho I was used, emotionally abused, etc. I honestly think part of the reason I stayed so long was because I was afraid to be on my own! Totally idiotic because I was paying all the bills anyway and we barely saw each other.

Not sure where I'm going but I'm thinking about now. He is so incredibly giving ... not extravagantly but he's always bringing over groceries, wants to lend me money so I won't have cc interest charges. I know he's sincere but I just can't take things like that without feeling guilty. It's not pride but a feeling that I'd be using him. Maybe because I was used so much? Oh crap, I'll shut up. But I hate having to ask for help .... I never thought I'd be unable to change a friggin' light bulb myself!

hugs,

Cait

[Guest guest]

Cait... you had quite the childhood, didn't you? I am so sorry to hear all of that. Your mom did you a great disservice. Did she ever realize her errors? I just can't even imagine how you felt!hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 7:22:14 PMSubject: Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be

taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

I know how you feel Sharon. After my father died (I had just turned 7) I felt responsible for my mother. I'd ask God to please come and take me instead so my mother could be happy again. When she had migraines, she'd say things like "if I had a gun I'd shoot myself", etc. so I'd ask God to take her to be happy and not hurt with my father. Then feel such guilt that I was too young to understand.

My feeling responsible for her made me turn down scholarships to various universities where I could have got a degree in journalism. Instead I went to the local U, accepted the extra $ from her to buy a newer car than I had the money for. Of course my mind didn't remember that there were always strings attached to anything I was given. Car meant being her chauffeur. Nothing was given without strings attached.

After U graduation I married but all for the wrong reasons. To get out of the house, to experience what being part of a family was like (his was great, at least in the early years). And I stuck it out for 27 yrs even tho I was used, emotionally abused, etc. I honestly think part of the reason I stayed so long was because I was afraid to be on my own! Totally idiotic because I was paying all the bills anyway and we barely saw each other.

Not sure where I'm going but I'm thinking about now. He is so incredibly giving ... not extravagantly but he's always bringing over groceries, wants to lend me money so I won't have cc interest charges. I know he's sincere but I just can't take things like that without feeling guilty. It's not pride but a feeling that I'd be using him. Maybe because I was used so much? Oh crap, I'll shut up. But I hate having to ask for help .... I never thought I'd be unable to change a friggin' light bulb myself!

hugs,

Cait

[Guest guest]

Nope although I remember when I was in my 30's, she said she had tried too hard to be a mother and father to me. Really that made no sense at all! You know I really don't think I know what it feels like to be loved. I admit having my kids was partly so I could have little ones to love.

After the big mess with ex's frauds, his gf who was younger than our daughter, etc. I think I made one mistake which I hope Akiba doesn't do. My relationship with the two daughters who still lived at home (one off and on) became too much like a friendship. Maybe because I was afraid of losing them too? In any case, it backfired on me big time. But enough of that, just talking about them makes me feel like crying ... hugs, Cait

Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kate

I know how you feel Sharon. After my father died (I had just turned 7) I felt responsible for my mother. I'd ask God to please come and take me instead so my mother could be happy again. When she had migraines, she'd say things like "if I had a gun I'd shoot myself", etc. so I'd ask God to take her to be happy and not hurt with my father. Then feel such guilt that I was too young to understand.

My feeling responsible for her made me turn down scholarships to various universities where I could have got a degree in journalism. Instead I went to the local U, accepted the extra $ from her to buy a newer car than I had the money for. Of course my mind didn't remember that there were always strings attached to anything I was given. Car meant being her chauffeur. Nothing was given without strings attached.

After U graduation I married but all for the wrong reasons. To get out of the house, to experience what being part of a family was like (his was great, at least in the early years). And I stuck it out for 27 yrs even tho I was used, emotionally abused, etc. I honestly think part of the reason I stayed so long was because I was afraid to be on my own! Totally idiotic because I was paying all the bills anyway and we barely saw each other.

Not sure where I'm going but I'm thinking about now. He is so incredibly giving ... not extravagantly but he's always bringing over groceries, wants to lend me money so I won't have cc interest charges. I know he's sincere but I just can't take things like that without feeling guilty. It's not pride but a feeling that I'd be using him. Maybe because I was used so much? Oh crap, I'll shut up. But I hate having to ask for help .... I never thought I'd be unable to change a friggin' light bulb myself!

hugs,

Cait

[Guest guest]

Hey Sharon,You didn't ramble;you got precisely to the heart of what I was trying to convey.I am SO sorry you've been in so much pain.What did was so kind andloving; you are blessed. You have raised a wonderful son. The kids were alsokind in not complaining about how long you were at the dentist for.I'm sure Kelsey understood your pain, when you began crying.Prayers for a pain-free day.love to you, Kate update/kate> > > > > > Hi all,> Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and > short > summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yet> quick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.> > Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this week> for each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. > I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,> and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kind> of a relief!> > I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been bugging> me a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and a> bit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do > still get> some itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should > just be> thankful that there is something I can take.> > I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a > real long time.> The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional > conference--usually,> it is in some faraway place, but this year, it is in > NYC.However, it IS > $99/$139> for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the > TNA; I think> it is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all > do if you were > me?> > On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for > her sophmore > year> at the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but > it is so hard to > watch> my kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow > up and succeed,> which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year > old is in her > very first> apt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first > apt, as she'll > be living> off campus.> > Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care > of you? Not > that I> have anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I > take care of so > many, and> I only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose > I'm just having a > pity> party for myself.> I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate> > > love and blessings,Kate

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[Guest guest]

Debbi,You said it beautifully. Thank you for reminding me that my childrenare (some of them) are adults; women, and the others will be someday soon.It is important to consider their feelings as well.Thank you.love, Kate Re: Ramblings.....taking care of others... and wanting to be taken care of too:) Re: update/kateTo: MSersLife , anxietydepressionandbreastcancer , breastcancer2 , TheOtherSideofCancer-NowWhat > just so you know i am going to pass this to a bc group . see we > all have this..not just in ms ..but in day to day life ...i will > remove your name .....> > welcome to my life..i was the fix it mom...give it to mom she > can fix it...you tell mom she knows just what to do..will back > then i did...not to day..my mind is not my own..it is some > place..not in my head...and you know what..i think my kids like > it this way most of the time, it is fun. to see mom be nutty > ..and my son called just to day to tell me ...if you need > something you call me ...you did it for all of us...tell us help > you...i some times forget ...it feels good to be needed...i know > i am needed..but i sometimes forget THEY need to feel needs > also...( hope this came out right) chemo day ( my fun day ) we > forget they are not just our kids...we forget the are men and > women ...i have been told my all of the kids mine and > herb's...let us help...just let us help ...and i have to put my > I CAN DO IT ...aside, and give them the right to help me...i > hope this comes out the way i want it to..i wish you > peace>>>debbi brant > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I certainly do understand Kate's about taking care of so > many and needing/wanting to be taken care of sometimes as well. > I take care of everyone--even the poultry:) I feel like people > (read family) don't realize that I do so much for them. I don't > know that is actually true but that's the way it feels to me. > Yesterday my son, , took me to the dentist. I felt like I > was imposing on him because he has to take all four of his kids > along because their mom is at work. It's a half hour drive to > town and I was in the dentist for a good 2 hours. While I was > in the dentist's office, and the kids went to the feed > store to buy a bale of straw and a bale of hay. Then he took > the kids to the park to play. Well, three of the kids played > but little Miss> who is 14 certainly can't PLAY, can she? lol She sits > and looks pretty even though there were no cute boys there. > Anyway.... when I came out of the dentist's I was nearly in > shock from the pain. The kids wanted to go somewhere to get a > snack but said "no, Gramma wants to go home I'm sure." He > was SO right! Then he said he was going to stop at the store to > get me some pudding. I said "no I just want to go home." But > he stopped anyway and brought me out pudding, yogurt and a berry > drink. Even though I didn't want to stop anywhere I have to > tell you it made me feel really loved that he did that for me. > Normally I don't have special foods after seeing the dentist but > this time I guess I looked like I needed something special, > huh? Then later in the evening I was sitting at the table and > my 12 year old granddaughter, Kelsey, looked at me and asked > "how are you doing?" I burst> into tears. What a big cry baby I am. And poor Kelsey didn't > know what to say then....> > I realize I am rambling when I meant to give a concise, clear > response to Kate's email. You'll have to forgive me folks but > my thought processes are fried today.> > hugs> Sharon> This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations > in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and > beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. > > > From: > Sent: T> > > > > Hi all,> Well, school is about to start next week. It has been a long and> short > summer. Long in the heat, long in each day as it slowly passes, yet> quick from start to finish, if that makes any sense at all.> > Hockey has begun...yikes. Conditioning camp every night this week> for each of the 3 kids;of course at three different times. > I have met a few moms that have kids on some of the same teams,> and who have offered to help me out should I need.So, that's kind> of a relief!> > I am feeling ok, but fatigued, depressed and the TN has been bugging> me a bit. I do get the numbness and tingling in my left foot and a> bit of my left leg.The Copaxone shots are going ok, but I do > still get> some itching, and the welts can get hot to the touch. I should > just be> thankful that there is something I can take.> > I need to get to the dentist, but I've been putting it off for a > real long time.> The TNA--trigeminal neuralgia association, has a regional > conference--usually,> it is in some faraway> place, but this year, it is in NYC.However, it IS $99/$139> for non-members. Not sure if I'm to date on my membership in the > TNA; I think> it is $25 but I forget. I am tempted to go; what would you all > do if you were me?> > On Friday, my daughter, Lia (18) will be going back up to MA for > her sophmore year> at the New England Institute of Art. I am so happy for her, but > it is so hard to watch> my kids grow up.Don't get me wrong...LOVE watching my kids grow > up and succeed,> which she is doing, it just pulls at my heartstrings. My 22 year > old is in her very first> apt. with her girlfriend. Lia will also be moving into her first > apt, as she'll be living> off campus.> > Does anyone ever feel like you just wish someone could take care > of you? Not that I> have anything big going on, it just is that I guess I feel I > take care of so many, and> I only have me, which gets tired!, to care for me...I suppose > I'm just having a pity> party> for myself.> I hope everyone is doing well...love to all, Kate> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > love and blessings,Kate

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