Guest guest Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. I also just finally opened my dance studio. He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for it. finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning and gave me the discs. I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it again. Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, my e-mails, my texts and my music DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 I hope you really wanted to know what people think - cause here goes..... Yeah, I think this is a real problem. He doesn't seem to have clear boundries and is infringing upon your's. Would you doing these same things to him be acceptable to him? I really doubt it. And if he did find it acceptable, that would be a problem too. Him doing these things and the whole, " doing it for your own good " , perspective makes me angry. As if you are a child and need him to rescue you? Does he have his own iphone and computer? If not, he sounds like a little kid who can't leave another child's shiny toy alone and has to have it, hide it and play head games. If he does, I really don't know what he is thinking - other than he is trying to control you and or manipulate you. Just for perspective sake: I have been married for 30+ years and my husband never uses my cell phone or computer. IF he were in a bind he would definately ask me first, and that would only happened for some sort of quick communication, in an emergency. And it goes both ways - I don't use his either. In my opinion you deserve your privacy and your boundries respected. You need to have those set clearly, and if he can't do that now, as your boyfriend, he definately will not get any better ( definately worse) if and when you get married. My two cents - remember - " Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and self responsibility. " (Dr. Black) > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > it. > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning > and gave me the discs. > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > again. > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 GS - Two word answer: Password Protection!! No, he should not be loading stuff onto your computer or your phone. If you need some kind of new software (like virus protection, etc.) he should ASK if you want it, then EXPLAIN what it is and how it works before installing it with your permission. I, too, got a laptop for Christmas a couple of years ago - it was supposed to be " mine " - yet somehow, somehow, I constantly found new computer games and Itunes catalogs loaded on there. I don't want that stuff. I don't need that stuff. It was either my son " borrowing " my computer because it was faster than the other one in the house, or my husband " helpfully updating " the Itunes catalog with music I would skip through if it started playing on the Ipod. My husband also has the habit of programming the TV antenna box, but failing to tell anybody else in the house what he did. So I sit there punching buttons on the remote like a fool, then finally give up and go read a book. Very frustrating... This is the equivalent of drinking the last of the orange juice and not making more, or leaving underwear strewn through the house - partly a guy thing that seems to be near-universal (sorry, guys, but it's true), partly a real encroachment because they don't see ol' Mom as a person who will stand up and demand that she be able to carve out some personal, private space and property. So for some stuff, I have password protection. For other stuff, (like the music catalog) I had to stand in front of my husband, look him squarely in the eyes, and tell him to please STOP loading stuff on my computer, remove all software, and quit assuming I want stuff loaded on there without asking me. I think he finally got it. But jeez....what an effort! My son got his own laptop when he started college, so he can load all those stupid games on there and then deal with it when his laptop gets a virus and is too slow to run the apps he needs for schoolwork. Drives me crazy, too! > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > it. > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning > and gave me the discs. > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > again. > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Oh yes, that would bother me. It would probably bother me enough to be a deal-breaker for the relationship. I do NOT like people touching my personal belongings without my knowledge or permission. If he knows you don't want him to act that way, it shows a clear lack of respect for you and your privacy along with a lack of ability to separate " mine " from " yours " . Both of those are big red flags for me. Not seperating " mine " from " yours " is one of my nada's biggest offenses and I don't react well to it. If you haven't already, I think you need to sit down with him when you're both calm and explain that this really bothers you and why. If you have already done that, you might need some help getting through to him. At 10:32 PM 08/25/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: >So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill >him > >I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time >and does >things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is >doing or why. >he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > >I also just finally opened my dance studio. > >He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > >Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find >my computer >anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and >hunting for >it. > >finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > >He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself >this morning >and gave me the discs. > >I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > >he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able >to do it >even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it >and if there >is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might >find it >again. > >Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own >good. WELL DONT > >Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, >my contacts, >my e-mails, my texts and my music > >DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 I second the password protection bit, too. I was just talking about relationship trust with my counselor yesterday--she says she does pre-marriage counseling, and there's a lot of couples with trust issues, and wondered how DH and I trust each other--how we came to be able to trust each other completely. DH doesn't go reading through my journals, even if I leave it out in the apartment, for example, and he asks me first before he updates the software or fiddles with my laptop (mostly because I hate messing with that stuff and he's a geek--so he updates it while I'm at work). So, yes, A) keep telling him you like privacy, password protect your computer--make it so that you need to type in the password anytime you restart the computer, or you sleep it and wake it up, and so on. Your iPhone can also be password protected, too. C) he needs to get his own stuff so he can mess around with it himself. And if he doesn't respect it, well, you can decide whether that's a deal breaker or not. On Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 7:01 AM, shirleyspawn wrote: > ** > > > > GS - Two word answer: Password Protection!! > > No, he should not be loading stuff onto your computer or your phone. If you > need some kind of new software (like virus protection, etc.) he should ASK > if you want it, then EXPLAIN what it is and how it works before installing > it with your permission. > > I, too, got a laptop for Christmas a couple of years ago - it was supposed > to be " mine " - yet somehow, somehow, I constantly found new computer games > and Itunes catalogs loaded on there. I don't want that stuff. I don't need > that stuff. It was either my son " borrowing " my computer because it was > faster than the other one in the house, or my husband " helpfully updating " > the Itunes catalog with music I would skip through if it started playing on > the Ipod. > > My husband also has the habit of programming the TV antenna box, but > failing to tell anybody else in the house what he did. So I sit there > punching buttons on the remote like a fool, then finally give up and go read > a book. Very frustrating... > > This is the equivalent of drinking the last of the orange juice and not > making more, or leaving underwear strewn through the house - partly a guy > thing that seems to be near-universal (sorry, guys, but it's true), partly a > real encroachment because they don't see ol' Mom as a person who will stand > up and demand that she be able to carve out some personal, private space and > property. > > So for some stuff, I have password protection. For other stuff, (like the > music catalog) I had to stand in front of my husband, look him squarely in > the eyes, and tell him to please STOP loading stuff on my computer, remove > all software, and quit assuming I want stuff loaded on there without asking > me. I think he finally got it. But jeez....what an effort! My son got his > own laptop when he started college, so he can load all those stupid games on > there and then deal with it when his laptop gets a virus and is too slow to > run the apps he needs for schoolwork. > > Drives me crazy, too! > > > > > > > > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or > why. > > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my > computer > > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > > it. > > > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this > morning > > and gave me the discs. > > > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if > there > > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > > again. > > > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL > DONT > > > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my > contacts, > > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 My kids do this to me. They'll reset my ringtone, download really obnoxious programs to the computer, " borrow " things without telling me, etc. But they're kids, I figure that kind of comes with the territory. If my *husband* did this to me, however, I'd be p!ssed. Your BF doesn't seem to get it. Is there anything of his you can take and manipulate, say, a laptop whose background you can change to read " Don't take Girlscout's stuff! " or something? > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > it. > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning > and gave me the discs. > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > again. > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 You guys are great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy because such a small thing set me off SOOOOO bad this time. I've only been really angry a few times since my divorce and NC began 8 yrs ago. He said he was trying to help. i asked him to help me put some music editing software on my laptop. But when I say I want HELP this does not mean DO THIS FOR ME. It means teach me. Boyfriend has a very hard time teaching, its easier for him to just do. In addition, technology issues have been rampant all summer. Many things I own have broken. Boyfriend had me put all my music and photos on an external hard drive. The hard drive crashed and I lost 10 years of photos that can't be replaced. Since then, I honestly don't want him to touch my stuff without me there. Yeah i pretty much lost it last night. he made it a lot worse by following me around the house literally to the point I hid in my closet to get away from him. I begged him to let me deal with my feelings alone so that it didn't get worse but he has a really hard time with that. I tried to password protect my computer last night. Apparently I have to have the original windows disk to do it. Of course I don't have that so that's not an option. Besides, if I have only 15 min to get ready to teach after work almost every night, he needs to NOT move my stuff so that I can't find it. . . If he does that we will have huge fights because teaching is my dream and if he puts barriers in my path I won't be able to make my dream come true. I don't think its a deal breaker, just a total infuriator. If we had bigger problems I could totally see though how my anger over feeling he doesn't respect my need to have some of my own stuff would likely light the fuse that exploded the relationship, though. On Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 7:58 AM, writermanque wrote: > ** > > > My kids do this to me. They'll reset my ringtone, download really obnoxious > programs to the computer, " borrow " things without telling me, etc. But > they're kids, I figure that kind of comes with the territory. > > If my *husband* did this to me, however, I'd be p!ssed. Your BF doesn't > seem to get it. Is there anything of his you can take and manipulate, say, a > laptop whose background you can change to read " Don't take Girlscout's > stuff! " or something? > > > > > > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or > why. > > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my > computer > > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > > it. > > > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this > morning > > and gave me the discs. > > > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if > there > > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > > again. > > > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL > DONT > > > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my > contacts, > > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 PS he could have easily texted and let me know he was going to do it! How hard is that? On Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 9:08 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > You guys are great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy because such > a small thing set me off SOOOOO bad this time. I've only been really angry a > few times since my divorce and NC began 8 yrs ago. > > He said he was trying to help. i asked him to help me put some music > editing software on my laptop. But when I say I want HELP this does not mean > DO THIS FOR ME. It means teach me. > > Boyfriend has a very hard time teaching, its easier for him to just do. > > In addition, technology issues have been rampant all summer. Many things I > own have broken. Boyfriend had me put all my music and photos on an external > hard drive. The hard drive crashed and I lost 10 years of photos that can't > be replaced. Since then, I honestly don't want him to touch my stuff without > me there. > > Yeah i pretty much lost it last night. he made it a lot worse by following > me around the house literally to the point I hid in my closet to get away > from him. I begged him to let me deal with my feelings alone so that it > didn't get worse but he has a really hard time with that. > > I tried to password protect my computer last night. Apparently I have to > have the original windows disk to do it. Of course I don't have that so > that's not an option. Besides, if I have only 15 min to get ready to teach > after work almost every night, he needs to NOT move my stuff so that I can't > find it. . . If he does that we will have huge fights because teaching is my > dream and if he puts barriers in my path I won't be able to make my dream > come true. > > I don't think its a deal breaker, just a total infuriator. If we had bigger > problems I could totally see though how my anger over feeling he doesn't > respect my need to have some of my own stuff would likely light the fuse > that exploded the relationship, though. > > > On Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 7:58 AM, writermanque wrote: > >> ** >> >> >> My kids do this to me. They'll reset my ringtone, download really >> obnoxious programs to the computer, " borrow " things without telling me, etc. >> But they're kids, I figure that kind of comes with the territory. >> >> If my *husband* did this to me, however, I'd be p!ssed. Your BF doesn't >> seem to get it. Is there anything of his you can take and manipulate, say, a >> laptop whose background you can change to read " Don't take Girlscout's >> stuff! " or something? >> >> >> >> > >> > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him >> > >> > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does >> > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or >> why. >> > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. >> > >> > I also just finally opened my dance studio. >> > >> > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. >> > >> > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my >> computer >> > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting >> for >> > it. >> > >> > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE >> > >> > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this >> morning >> > and gave me the discs. >> > >> > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. >> > >> > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it >> > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if >> there >> > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it >> > again. >> > >> > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL >> DONT >> > >> > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my >> contacts, >> > my e-mails, my texts and my music >> > >> > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Windows disks are not normally needed to password protect your computer. If you contact me via e-mail, I'll try to help you do it. Also, no matter where you have your photos and other important stuff stored, you should make backup copies and store them somewhere else. I can understand him not wanting to actually teach you to do things. Some people just aren't good at doing that. Taking your phone and doing things with it seems to me to be a bigger problem than taking your computer to install software that you wanted. The problem with total infuriators is that they tend to build up over the years and take over. It is best to figure out how to deal with them before the molehills grow into an unclimbable mountains. At 11:08 AM 08/26/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: >You guys are great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy >because such >a small thing set me off SOOOOO bad this time. I've only been >really angry a >few times since my divorce and NC began 8 yrs ago. > >He said he was trying to help. i asked him to help me put some >music editing >software on my laptop. But when I say I want HELP this does not >mean DO THIS >FOR ME. It means teach me. > >Boyfriend has a very hard time teaching, its easier for him to >just do. > >In addition, technology issues have been rampant all summer. >Many things I >own have broken. Boyfriend had me put all my music and photos >on an external >hard drive. The hard drive crashed and I lost 10 years of >photos that can't >be replaced. Since then, I honestly don't want him to touch my >stuff without >me there. > >Yeah i pretty much lost it last night. he made it a lot worse >by following >me around the house literally to the point I hid in my closet >to get away >from him. I begged him to let me deal with my feelings alone so >that it >didn't get worse but he has a really hard time with that. > >I tried to password protect my computer last night. Apparently >I have to >have the original windows disk to do it. Of course I don't have >that so >that's not an option. Besides, if I have only 15 min to get >ready to teach >after work almost every night, he needs to NOT move my stuff so >that I can't >find it. . . If he does that we will have huge fights because >teaching is my >dream and if he puts barriers in my path I won't be able to >make my dream >come true. > >I don't think its a deal breaker, just a total infuriator. If >we had bigger >problems I could totally see though how my anger over feeling >he doesn't >respect my need to have some of my own stuff would likely light >the fuse >that exploded the relationship, though. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 As for the hard drive---I don't know what you did to try to save the images, but it's still possible to save your pictures even when it's failed. One of DH and my foster kittens played all over DH's desk, and pounced on his external hard drive and it failed. DH found out that he just had to replace the casing for it, and it worked. He had an IcyDock. Even if you can't replace the casing on yours, a geek may be able to take apart your hard drive and hook it up somehow to a computer to access the pictures and save it. I don't know how much $$ it would take, but find a reputable geek and see if they can do it. And ditto on extra backup copies! I need to do that still with mine :/ > ** > > > Windows disks are not normally needed to password protect your > computer. If you contact me via e-mail, I'll try to help you do > it. Also, no matter where you have your photos and other > important stuff stored, you should make backup copies and store > them somewhere else. > > I can understand him not wanting to actually teach you to do > things. Some people just aren't good at doing that. Taking your > phone and doing things with it seems to me to be a bigger > problem than taking your computer to install software that you > wanted. > > The problem with total infuriators is that they tend to build up > over the years and take over. It is best to figure out how to > deal with them before the molehills grow into an unclimbable > mountains. > > At 11:08 AM 08/26/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: > >You guys are great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy > >because such > >a small thing set me off SOOOOO bad this time. I've only been > >really angry a > >few times since my divorce and NC began 8 yrs ago. > > > >He said he was trying to help. i asked him to help me put some > >music editing > >software on my laptop. But when I say I want HELP this does not > >mean DO THIS > >FOR ME. It means teach me. > > > >Boyfriend has a very hard time teaching, its easier for him to > >just do. > > > >In addition, technology issues have been rampant all summer. > >Many things I > >own have broken. Boyfriend had me put all my music and photos > >on an external > >hard drive. The hard drive crashed and I lost 10 years of > >photos that can't > >be replaced. Since then, I honestly don't want him to touch my > >stuff without > >me there. > > > >Yeah i pretty much lost it last night. he made it a lot worse > >by following > >me around the house literally to the point I hid in my closet > >to get away > >from him. I begged him to let me deal with my feelings alone so > >that it > >didn't get worse but he has a really hard time with that. > > > >I tried to password protect my computer last night. Apparently > >I have to > >have the original windows disk to do it. Of course I don't have > >that so > >that's not an option. Besides, if I have only 15 min to get > >ready to teach > >after work almost every night, he needs to NOT move my stuff so > >that I can't > >find it. . . If he does that we will have huge fights because > >teaching is my > >dream and if he puts barriers in my path I won't be able to > >make my dream > >come true. > > > >I don't think its a deal breaker, just a total infuriator. If > >we had bigger > >problems I could totally see though how my anger over feeling > >he doesn't > >respect my need to have some of my own stuff would likely light > >the fuse > >that exploded the relationship, though. > > -- > Katrina > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 yeah, my personal geek (computer pro, not boyfriend) couldnt do it, but i did try again on the password and it worked On Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 9:37 AM, Holly Lipschultz < hollymichellebyers@...> wrote: > As for the hard drive---I don't know what you did to try to save the > images, > but it's still possible to save your pictures even when it's failed. One of > DH and my foster kittens played all over DH's desk, and pounced on his > external hard drive and it failed. DH found out that he just had to replace > the casing for it, and it worked. He had an IcyDock. Even if you can't > replace the casing on yours, a geek may be able to take apart your hard > drive and hook it up somehow to a computer to access the pictures and save > it. > > I don't know how much $$ it would take, but find a reputable geek and see > if > they can do it. > > And ditto on extra backup copies! I need to do that still with mine :/ > > > > > ** > > > > > > Windows disks are not normally needed to password protect your > > computer. If you contact me via e-mail, I'll try to help you do > > it. Also, no matter where you have your photos and other > > important stuff stored, you should make backup copies and store > > them somewhere else. > > > > I can understand him not wanting to actually teach you to do > > things. Some people just aren't good at doing that. Taking your > > phone and doing things with it seems to me to be a bigger > > problem than taking your computer to install software that you > > wanted. > > > > The problem with total infuriators is that they tend to build up > > over the years and take over. It is best to figure out how to > > deal with them before the molehills grow into an unclimbable > > mountains. > > > > At 11:08 AM 08/26/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: > > >You guys are great. I was beginning to think I was going crazy > > >because such > > >a small thing set me off SOOOOO bad this time. I've only been > > >really angry a > > >few times since my divorce and NC began 8 yrs ago. > > > > > >He said he was trying to help. i asked him to help me put some > > >music editing > > >software on my laptop. But when I say I want HELP this does not > > >mean DO THIS > > >FOR ME. It means teach me. > > > > > >Boyfriend has a very hard time teaching, its easier for him to > > >just do. > > > > > >In addition, technology issues have been rampant all summer. > > >Many things I > > >own have broken. Boyfriend had me put all my music and photos > > >on an external > > >hard drive. The hard drive crashed and I lost 10 years of > > >photos that can't > > >be replaced. Since then, I honestly don't want him to touch my > > >stuff without > > >me there. > > > > > >Yeah i pretty much lost it last night. he made it a lot worse > > >by following > > >me around the house literally to the point I hid in my closet > > >to get away > > >from him. I begged him to let me deal with my feelings alone so > > >that it > > >didn't get worse but he has a really hard time with that. > > > > > >I tried to password protect my computer last night. Apparently > > >I have to > > >have the original windows disk to do it. Of course I don't have > > >that so > > >that's not an option. Besides, if I have only 15 min to get > > >ready to teach > > >after work almost every night, he needs to NOT move my stuff so > > >that I can't > > >find it. . . If he does that we will have huge fights because > > >teaching is my > > >dream and if he puts barriers in my path I won't be able to > > >make my dream > > >come true. > > > > > >I don't think its a deal breaker, just a total infuriator. If > > >we had bigger > > >problems I could totally see though how my anger over feeling > > >he doesn't > > >respect my need to have some of my own stuff would likely light > > >the fuse > > >that exploded the relationship, though. > > > > -- > > Katrina > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 YES Re: drives me crazy I don't like anyone touching my stuff without asking me, and I ESPECIALLY hate people doing stuff for me without asking. I had absolutely no privacy as a kid, none at all; I'm very private and demanding of my space, so I get how you feel, GS. > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > it. > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning > and gave me the discs. > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > again. > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 I don't like anyone touching my stuff without asking me, and I ESPECIALLY hate people doing stuff for me without asking. I had absolutely no privacy as a kid, none at all; I'm very private and demanding of my space, so I get how you feel, GS. > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or why. > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my computer > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > it. > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this morning > and gave me the discs. > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if there > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > again. > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL DONT > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my contacts, > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 I heart you guys!!! On Tue, Sep 6, 2011 at 6:56 PM, Felicia Ward wrote: > ** > > > YES > > Re: drives me crazy > > I don't like anyone touching my stuff without asking me, and I ESPECIALLY > hate people doing stuff for me without asking. > > I had absolutely no privacy as a kid, none at all; I'm very private and > demanding of my space, so I get how you feel, GS. > > > > > > So boyfriend has developed a habit that makes me want to kill him > > > > I just got an iphone. He grabs it out of my hand all the time and does > > things to it without asking me and w/o explaining what he is doing or > why. > > he isn't making calls, he's installing shit and playing. > > > > I also just finally opened my dance studio. > > > > He has started taking my computer w/o asking too. > > > > Tonight I was rushing to get ready to teach and I couldn't find my > computer > > anywhere. i ran up and down the stairs (3 levels) hunting and hunting for > > it. > > > > finally I found it in his office. In his OFFFICE > > > > He was putting software on it after he told me to do it myself this > morning > > and gave me the discs. > > > > I reminded him that I hate that and please don't do it. > > > > he got defensive. Gave about 1000 reasons why he should be able to do it > > even if I ask him not to take my fucking stuff when I need it and if > there > > is no reason or explanation or even a map offered where I might find it > > again. > > > > Yeah, he keeps fighting me on it. he is doing it for my own good. WELL > DONT > > > > Would this bother anyone else? Its mine, has my private info, my > contacts, > > my e-mails, my texts and my music > > > > DON " T TOUCH IT W/O ASKING!!!!! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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