Re: Digest Number 10151

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Help I am dealing a crazy BpD.

I used to belong to this group years ago.

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From: & quot;WTOAdultChildren1 & quot;

& lt;WTOAdultChildren1 & gt;

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 5:23 AM

Subject: Digest Number 10151

NonBP offspring of BPD parents

NonBP offspring of BPD parents

Messages In This Digest (17 Messages)

1a.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: Katrina

1b.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: svaktshka

1c.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: anuria67854

1d.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: eliza92@...

1e.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: anuria67854

1f.

Re: Nada passing messages through me From: eliza92@...

2a.

Feel like running away From: annie2011lewis

2b.

Re: Feel like running away From: Holly Lipschultz

3a.

Re: Starting from beginning  - again! From: yenaine

4a.

Hard time remembering From: afldancer

4b.

Re: Hard time remembering From: Holly Lipschultz

4c.

Re: Hard time remembering From: anuria67854

4d.

Re: Hard time remembering From: eliza92@...

5.

Lonely... From: newlife9871

6.

tangled From: Girlscout Cowboy

7a.

Re: 5 Nada Peeves From: yenaine

8a.

Re: perspective needed From: yenaine View All Topics | Create New Topic

Messages

1a.

Re: Nada passing messages through me

Posted by: & quot;Katrina & quot; kk1raven@...   raven62r

Sat Aug 27, 2011 5:08 am (PDT)

My nada can and has argued with that. In my experience, nadas

can and will argue about just about anything. They & #39;re not

rational, so their arguments aren & #39;t necessarily rational.

At 11:21 PM 08/26/2011 True wrote:

& gt;Along the same lines what comes to mind for me is to tell your

& gt;nada, & quot; Mom, I won & #39;t be put in the middle. & quot; , and leave it at

& gt;that. She & #39;s a big girl and although she won & #39;t like it, and may

& gt;let you know it, she can & #39;t really argue with that either.

& gt;

& gt;

--

Katrina

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Messages in this topic (14)

1b.

Re: Nada passing messages through me

Posted by: & quot;svaktshka & quot; svaktshka@...   svaktshka

Sat Aug 27, 2011 6:14 am (PDT)

That & #39;s true.

The point isn & #39;t to convince them that you have a right to ask them not to do

what they & #39;re doing. If she wants to argue about it, just hang up. Do that

enough times and she & #39;ll figure out that if she wants to talk to you she

needs to pick a different topic.

Actions vs. words.

sveta

& gt; **

& gt;

& gt;

& gt; So facing all of these feelings about my nada and my past has me feeling

& gt; like running away. Perfect fight or flight response going on. I want to

move

& gt; away to someplace where she can & #39;t find me again. I feel this so

strongly

& gt; that I actually looked at real estate and schools for my kids in Texas near

& gt; my husband & #39;s family, who accept me and think I & #39;m wonderful. I guess

this is

& gt; a pretty normal response on my part, but the frustration of knowing I

can & #39;t

& gt; make my escape is actually making me depressed.

& gt;

& gt; My husband clearly explained to me that my pattern growing up has always

& gt; been that I had to change something to make nada happy, so it & #39;s a

strong

& gt; neurological pattern to feel the need to change something when I & #39;m

feeling

& gt; stressed. Doing nothing has never been a possibility and I & #39;ve always

tried

& gt; doing something to make myself feel better....eat, cut my hair, spend

money,

& gt; or take on a complicated project. Usually it & #39;s been eating, to soothe

my

& gt; frazzled nerves, hence the need to lose 100 lbs.

& gt;

& gt; So I & #39;m feeling majorly stressed and don & #39;t feel like I have an

outlet for

& gt; it. That generally leads to depression because it makes me feel helpless.

& gt; I & #39;d love some suggestions for a way to deal with this internal stress

I & #39;m

& gt; experiencing. It & #39;s been going on now for several days and I haven & #39;t

been

& gt; able to break the pattern. At this point I just feel like crying and hiding

& gt; under the covers.

& gt;

& gt; AnnieL

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;