Guest guest Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Hi guys! I don't post on here often, usually because what I would say has already been said, but anyways... I have an issue that I think other KO's will understand, and have some insight into. I've been NC with my nada and grannada for ~5 years now, with no intention of going back. My life is much more interesting and positive since then. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. This is weird for me because I never actually planned to have kids of my own, my plan was (and still is) to adopt (still very happy about the baby, though). Of course, my family has made the attempts to weasel back in, which I've ignored, so that's not the issue. The problem is, since finding out about the baby, I've felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm a fairly confident person, but since the pregnancy, I've had physical reactions to people looking at me. Just looking at me!!! I get dizzy and have a fight-or-flight response, which is completely unwarrented. Even talking about it with my SO triggers the reaction, and I'm actually feeling a little woozy right now. The reason I think this might be a KO issue is a) my nada and grannada both encouraged body issues and self hate, and I'm a control freak (total flea) and I'm just not as in control of or prepared for this whole experience as I'd like to be. Thanks for reading, hopefully that made sense... Thanks for any advice you guys have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Maybe your pregnancy brought on a heightened sense of threat. I often feel sick to my stomach and fight-or-flight when strange men stare at me....(guess that's a different issue?) It's my guess though, that this is your brain/body's way of protecting the baby because you want to ensure its safety and you can't fathom the thought of not being in control (especially when your body changes enough that you can't run or fight safely). Just my guess. I don't think it's a weird reaction at all. K > > Hi guys! I don't post on here often, usually because what I would say has already been said, but anyways... > > I have an issue that I think other KO's will understand, and have some insight into. > > I've been NC with my nada and grannada for ~5 years now, with no intention of going back. My life is much more interesting and positive since then. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. This is weird for me because I never actually planned to have kids of my own, my plan was (and still is) to adopt (still very happy about the baby, though). Of course, my family has made the attempts to weasel back in, which I've ignored, so that's not the issue. > > The problem is, since finding out about the baby, I've felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm a fairly confident person, but since the pregnancy, I've had physical reactions to people looking at me. Just looking at me!!! I get dizzy and have a fight-or-flight response, which is completely unwarrented. Even talking about it with my SO triggers the reaction, and I'm actually feeling a little woozy right now. > > The reason I think this might be a KO issue is a) my nada and grannada both encouraged body issues and self hate, and I'm a control freak (total flea) and I'm just not as in control of or prepared for this whole experience as I'd like to be. > > Thanks for reading, hopefully that made sense... Thanks for any advice you guys have. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 I can totally relate. When I was pregnant, I hated being looked at. luckily, the second the baby was born it stopped, because everyone was looking at the baby, which felt really good. Having kids helped me a lot in recovering from growing up with a mom with BPD, because I no longer tried to please her, I focus on taking care of my kids. They come before her. This sent her into a tailspin at first, but now she is much more " in line. " She does criticize my parenting if I tell her too much, but I've learned to tell her to shove it and move on. Congratulations! Pregnancy can be hard, but it all gets so much better. > > Hi guys! I don't post on here often, usually because what I would say has already been said, but anyways... > > I have an issue that I think other KO's will understand, and have some insight into. > > I've been NC with my nada and grannada for ~5 years now, with no intention of going back. My life is much more interesting and positive since then. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. This is weird for me because I never actually planned to have kids of my own, my plan was (and still is) to adopt (still very happy about the baby, though). Of course, my family has made the attempts to weasel back in, which I've ignored, so that's not the issue. > > The problem is, since finding out about the baby, I've felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm a fairly confident person, but since the pregnancy, I've had physical reactions to people looking at me. Just looking at me!!! I get dizzy and have a fight-or-flight response, which is completely unwarrented. Even talking about it with my SO triggers the reaction, and I'm actually feeling a little woozy right now. > > The reason I think this might be a KO issue is a) my nada and grannada both encouraged body issues and self hate, and I'm a control freak (total flea) and I'm just not as in control of or prepared for this whole experience as I'd like to be. > > Thanks for reading, hopefully that made sense... Thanks for any advice you guys have. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 You know how every movie, every magazine article, is telling you how wonderful this is and how happy you are? And yeah, you ARE happy - this is an exciting time and your life is going to be changed forever. On the other hand, you've basically been invaded by an alien life form. Your chemistry is changing to adapt to that new person who's taken up residence. Your very bone structure is going to change. And that waistline? Forget about it, Scarlett. It's probably never coming back. Pregnancy changes almost - almost - everything about you. You stop being " you " (at least in part) and start being " Mom " - in large part. You can't help it. It just happens. The fact that it's wonderful doesn't mean it's not scary and overwhelming at times. I think my question would be, why would you NOT be a little freaked out about this? It is entirely possible to hold these two conflicting attitudes at once. Look, I just sent my son off to college - I'm almost done with the childrearing part of my life. So I can say this from experience - it was wonderful and a lot of fun. It was also exhausting, frustrating, and terrifying when I thought things were going wrong. And the beginning of the journey was when I found out I was pregnant, gave up my three-cup-a-day coffee habit in an instant, and had to come to grips with the fact that everything I'd ever believed about my place in the universe had changed. I wish you much joy in this adventure - as well as the stamina to survive it with your sanity and sense of self intact! You might find support by reaching out to other moms who will give you the unvarnished truth about the whole experience (and not tell you how you 'should' feel.) It is the hardest, worst paid job in the world, and the one that has the most at stake. Keep reading, keep laughing, keep talking to those who have been through it. Things will even out pretty soon. (But man, oh man, those elastic paneled pants...) > > Hi guys! I don't post on here often, usually because what I would say has already been said, but anyways... > > I have an issue that I think other KO's will understand, and have some insight into. > > I've been NC with my nada and grannada for ~5 years now, with no intention of going back. My life is much more interesting and positive since then. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. This is weird for me because I never actually planned to have kids of my own, my plan was (and still is) to adopt (still very happy about the baby, though). Of course, my family has made the attempts to weasel back in, which I've ignored, so that's not the issue. > > The problem is, since finding out about the baby, I've felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm a fairly confident person, but since the pregnancy, I've had physical reactions to people looking at me. Just looking at me!!! I get dizzy and have a fight-or-flight response, which is completely unwarrented. Even talking about it with my SO triggers the reaction, and I'm actually feeling a little woozy right now. > > The reason I think this might be a KO issue is a) my nada and grannada both encouraged body issues and self hate, and I'm a control freak (total flea) and I'm just not as in control of or prepared for this whole experience as I'd like to be. > > Thanks for reading, hopefully that made sense... Thanks for any advice you guys have. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.