Re: Advice on how to respond to letter from Nada's therapist

[Guest guest]

Yes, my brothers and I had an opportunity to speak to our nada's

psychologist.

I received an email from nada (her only form of contact with me), asking me

to call her psychologist if I was interested. She stated that this

woman had expressed an interest in hearing our side of the story. I thought

about it for a while and eventually left a message for the psychologist

(T). She called back within an hour.

Over the phone the T said she was concerned about how my brothers and I

might be faring, since nada was full of complaints about us going NC. She

let on that she " knew there was something not quite right " about nada and

the she was hearing different versions of the same stories.

On the strength of that, I booked an appointment with her. One brother came

along, the other refused. I took my copy of " Understanding the Borderline

Mother " with me, hoping to read the T something about the Huntsman father,

since she had asked about our father. I ended up lending her the book. I

also brought up the document " Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers " that

is on the internet. She asked us which I thought nada was, BPD or NPD. I

said both.

We discussed how badly we have all struggled with depression, anxiety and

poor self esteem as a result of a lifetime under the same roof with nada.

We discussed nada's denial. The T was compassionate towards nada, referring

to the denial as a coping mechanism and we touched on nada's chaotic

upbringing. The T was compassionate towards us as well and encouraged us to

be true to ourselves, I came away with the impression that we had confirmed

ideas that she already had about nada.

I called the T one more time, when I was freaking out about nada telling me

she was coming to visit. She thanked me for lending her the book and said

she got a lot out of it. She thinks nada is a match for everything on the

BPD list except the self-harm/suicide threats. She also thinks there is a

lot of narcissism in there.

It was wonderful to hear a professional person say " We are definitely

talking 'personality disorder.' " So, yes, I found actually talking to

nada's T to be priceless validation. I am not sure you could get quite the

same thing from an exchange of letters. My advice would be to arrange to

speak to your nada's counselor on the phone and try to get a feel for

whether the counselor is getting close to the truth at all. If not, then

don't take it any further. The last thing you need is for a complete

stranger to stomp on your feelings. Something you didn't ask for and don't

deserve!

[Guest guest]

Tamara, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so happy you got

validation from your nada's psychologist.

My nada is also extremely Narcissistic. Do you happen to have a link to the page

about narcissistic mothers?

>

> Yes, my brothers and I had an opportunity to speak to our nada's

> psychologist.

>

> I received an email from nada (her only form of contact with me), asking me

> to call her psychologist if I was interested. She stated that this

> woman had expressed an interest in hearing our side of the story. I thought

> about it for a while and eventually left a message for the psychologist

> (T). She called back within an hour.

>

> Over the phone the T said she was concerned about how my brothers and I

> might be faring, since nada was full of complaints about us going NC. She

> let on that she " knew there was something not quite right " about nada and

> the she was hearing different versions of the same stories.

>

> On the strength of that, I booked an appointment with her. One brother came

> along, the other refused. I took my copy of " Understanding the Borderline

> Mother " with me, hoping to read the T something about the Huntsman father,

> since she had asked about our father. I ended up lending her the book. I

> also brought up the document " Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers " that

> is on the internet. She asked us which I thought nada was, BPD or NPD. I

> said both.

>

> We discussed how badly we have all struggled with depression, anxiety and

> poor self esteem as a result of a lifetime under the same roof with nada.

> We discussed nada's denial. The T was compassionate towards nada, referring

> to the denial as a coping mechanism and we touched on nada's chaotic

> upbringing. The T was compassionate towards us as well and encouraged us to

> be true to ourselves, I came away with the impression that we had confirmed

> ideas that she already had about nada.

>

> I called the T one more time, when I was freaking out about nada telling me

> she was coming to visit. She thanked me for lending her the book and said

> she got a lot out of it. She thinks nada is a match for everything on the

> BPD list except the self-harm/suicide threats. She also thinks there is a

> lot of narcissism in there.

>

> It was wonderful to hear a professional person say " We are definitely

> talking 'personality disorder.' " So, yes, I found actually talking to

> nada's T to be priceless validation. I am not sure you could get quite the

> same thing from an exchange of letters. My advice would be to arrange to

> speak to your nada's counselor on the phone and try to get a feel for

> whether the counselor is getting close to the truth at all. If not, then

> don't take it any further. The last thing you need is for a complete

> stranger to stomp on your feelings. Something you didn't ask for and don't

> deserve!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's this one jamie:

http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

I seem to recognise something new in it every time I read it.

It was the very first document I read on the internet, after I first

discovered the concept of personality disorders, and it's still one of the

best.

[Guest guest]

Thank you! Wow this is crazy interesting!

>

> It's this one jamie:

>

> http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

>

> I seem to recognise something new in it every time I read it.

>

> It was the very first document I read on the internet, after I first

> discovered the concept of personality disorders, and it's still one of the

> best.

>

>

>