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I have been wanting to read that book, particularly after I heard a radio

interview of the author. She herself is a research scientist, but in the

interview her analytical mind was also laced with common sense and humor, which

I found very appealing. But part of the title of her book is from her own

life: her own sister (who has personality disorder) really did steal their

mother's boyfriend.

The whole title is " Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed and My

Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend "

Sigh. I have a way-too-long list of " must read " books these days and no time to

read them.

So, thanks for sharing your take on this book!

-Annie

>

> I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a lot

> of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company -

> yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

>

> I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on here

> recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

>

>

>

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I probably need to add that to my list of books to read! I've been entirely

too busy with school and work to really sit down and read for hours. But

before bed, I've been making it a routine to read at least 10 minutes. It

makes a nice end to the day, and motivates me to go to bed early :)

It's not very conducive to library books--I'd rack up so many fines that

I'd have bought the book at that point, sadly!

On Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 10:11 AM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> I have been wanting to read that book, particularly after I heard a radio

> interview of the author. She herself is a research scientist, but in the

> interview her analytical mind was also laced with common sense and humor,

> which I found very appealing. But part of the title of her book is from her

> own life: her own sister (who has personality disorder) really did steal

> their mother's boyfriend.

>

> The whole title is " Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed

> and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend "

>

> Sigh. I have a way-too-long list of " must read " books these days and no

> time to read them.

>

> So, thanks for sharing your take on this book!

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a

> lot

> > of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> > trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> > functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company -

> > yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

> >

> > I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on

> here

> > recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

> >

> >

> >

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Its an amazing book, totally worth the time. I too have been short on time

and trying to read for 10 min before bed - and then I realize its now 1 am

and I'm still reading because the book is one of the best I've ever read. I

love medicine and science, but of course I also love common sense and

culture, so yeah, its total engaged whole brain learning. I love it. I'm

kinda wanting to plow through and finish it so that I can get back to my

regular sleep schedule. HA HA

On Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 9:43 AM, Holly Lipschultz <

hollymichellebyers@...> wrote:

> I probably need to add that to my list of books to read! I've been entirely

> too busy with school and work to really sit down and read for hours. But

> before bed, I've been making it a routine to read at least 10 minutes. It

> makes a nice end to the day, and motivates me to go to bed early :)

>

> It's not very conducive to library books--I'd rack up so many fines that

> I'd have bought the book at that point, sadly!

>

> On Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 10:11 AM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I have been wanting to read that book, particularly after I heard a radio

> > interview of the author. She herself is a research scientist, but in the

> > interview her analytical mind was also laced with common sense and humor,

> > which I found very appealing. But part of the title of her book is from

> her

> > own life: her own sister (who has personality disorder) really did steal

> > their mother's boyfriend.

> >

> > The whole title is " Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed

> > and My Sister Stole My Mother's Boyfriend "

> >

> > Sigh. I have a way-too-long list of " must read " books these days and no

> > time to read them.

> >

> > So, thanks for sharing your take on this book!

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> > >

> > > I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a

> > lot

> > > of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> > > trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> > > functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company

> -

> > > yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

> > >

> > > I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on

> > here

> > > recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

> > >

> > >

> > >

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Hi Girlscout, Annie and All,

I recomended the book, I'm so glad you like it too! It explains soooooo

much, without excusing the craziness, or making the relatives of the Bpd

seem like bad bozos for not putting up with thier reprehensible shenanigans.

(Poor Dears, they're just sick you know.......)

I just read *When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends*, by Secunda, and

liked much of the book. However, I was dissapointed that she did not address

some issues, such as the highly toxic BPD cocktail combos,

(Bpd/NPD/bipolar/depressive. . . and so on ad nauseum,) that preclude any

kind of continued and safe relationship.

Relationships that leave so many of us emotionally strafed, burned, and

gasping for air, barely able to struggle to our knees before we get hit

again, and no one else ever seems to see that we are bleeding from the ears,

or to believe that the wounds weren't self inflicted, or that *we* didn't

instigate thier wrath. (yes dear, but are you *sure* you weren''t just a*little

* snippy.....?)

There are times when a person simply has to cut off all communication for

thier own safety and sanity. How do we clear that hurtle intact ?

I recently viewed the film, *Death in Love*, with Bisset. A

very different role for her, however, maybe her finest. *WARNING,* this is a

highly, highly disturbing film, and probably the most frightening and

upsetting film I have *ever* seen. It does, however, dramatically depict the

fatal emotional wounding of the Bpd, and the slow - motion spiral of

destruction, rage, and revenge through which they devolve as they destroy

everyone within reach. And, the unfathomable ways in which those around

them, remain hooked into thier sick machinations, sometimes to the point of

our own destruction. It really is upsetting, imagine *The Black Swan* X 3.

This film has disturbing sexual situations, and very brief, but graphic

depictions of the medical experimentation during the holocaust. I cried for

days.

That being said, I'm glad I watched it to the end. I felt as though the

film writer *really *knew and understood what life with a BPD is like. It

really, really brought home to me the fact, that what my Nada most feels for

everyone around her is criminal contempt and disdain. She does not give

anything to anyone, unless it will cause them, or someone else pain, all of

her giving has sadistic overtones.

When a person is no longer of use to her, when thier role is played out,

when she becomes bored with them, or they are tiresome, no longer amusing,

or entertaining, she becomes petulantly enraged, then vengeful, and

destructive, and, if she can, destroys them. They may know too much, have

seen too many of her machinations, or simply no longer be decorative.

I'd love to know any other recomendations for reading or watching, as well

as anyone elses take on Death in Love.

My Best to All, Sunspot

On Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 9:40 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a lot

> of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company -

> yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

>

> I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on

> here

> recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

>

>

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Wow, that film description sounds both intriguing and terrifying. I will have

to make sure I'm in a " good place " emotionally before I see it. If I see it. I

can't stand to watch films about Nazis torturing people, so, maybe I'll skip

over that part.

But the description of the destructive bpd spiral and how other people will

enmesh with the bpd even to the point of their own destruction does sound like

an important point and I'd like to see how the film-maker handles it.

This is just my own opinion, but the behaviors you describe RE those who

consciously and deliberately use people, who have a lot of sadistic elements to

their motives and behaviors, and who feel the need to destroy others once they

have no more use for them... to me that speaks of psychopathy, which is in a way

the most malignant form of narcissism. Such individuals are so empty inside,

that they will torment other people just to feel alive and stop the boredom for

a little while, and they feel entitled and justified in doing this.

There was a post made recently at another Group I belong to for the adult

children of narcissistic parents, and the poster made some very remarkable

observations about the nature of npd based on her readings about npd and her own

experiences, so I've asked her if I could share her post here. I'd do that when

I hear back from her.

Thanks for sharing your recs, I'll post about it if I see that film. And I do

want to read Evil Genes, too!

-Annie

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a lot

> > of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> > trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> > functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company -

> > yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

> >

> > I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on

> > here

> > recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

> >

> >

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Share on other sites

thank you so much for suggesting it. One of the best books I have ever read.

Really helps me to picture the neurotranmitters and dna. XOXO

On Fri, Sep 2, 2011 at 11:38 AM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> Wow, that film description sounds both intriguing and terrifying. I will

> have to make sure I'm in a " good place " emotionally before I see it. If I

> see it. I can't stand to watch films about Nazis torturing people, so, maybe

> I'll skip over that part.

> But the description of the destructive bpd spiral and how other people will

> enmesh with the bpd even to the point of their own destruction does sound

> like an important point and I'd like to see how the film-maker handles it.

>

> This is just my own opinion, but the behaviors you describe RE those who

> consciously and deliberately use people, who have a lot of sadistic elements

> to their motives and behaviors, and who feel the need to destroy others once

> they have no more use for them... to me that speaks of psychopathy, which is

> in a way the most malignant form of narcissism. Such individuals are so

> empty inside, that they will torment other people just to feel alive and

> stop the boredom for a little while, and they feel entitled and justified in

> doing this.

>

> There was a post made recently at another Group I belong to for the adult

> children of narcissistic parents, and the poster made some very remarkable

> observations about the nature of npd based on her readings about npd and her

> own experiences, so I've asked her if I could share her post here. I'd do

> that when I hear back from her.

>

> Thanks for sharing your recs, I'll post about it if I see that film. And I

> do want to read Evil Genes, too!

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > >

> > > I'm reading Evil Genes by Barbara Oakley. If you don't like science, a

> lot

> > > of the book might be boring to you. But for those of us that have been

> > > trying to comprehend our low functioning nada/fada's genetics or high

> > > functioning nada's ability to hide her disorder while in polite company

> -

> > > yeah - it offers explanations for all of that.

> > >

> > > I LOVE it, one of the best books I have ever read! Thanks to whoever on

> > > here

> > > recommended it. I'm sorry I forgot who it was.

> > >

> > >

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