Horrible Words

[Guest guest]

I posted a few weeks ago about my mom treating me terribly when I was really ill

and in the hospital. I really appreciated the support here. Since that time I've

done a good job of implementing boundaries with her even while extremely sick

and scared. Recently however, during generally calm conversation she said some

horrible things. I don't know if it's in reaction to the boundaries, but even

though I immediately removed myself from the conversation, I still don't know

how to get passed the things she said.

The first time I was not feeling well and thought I would need to go back to the

hospital. I called to give her a heads up as I thought that would create less

drama later. Her response was " Great, now I have to worry all night about you! "

no concern for my health, just inconvenience.

Tonight she called me for help with a new cell phone she purchased. I had agreed

to let her drive with me out of town as she wanted to see a concert where I was

going (I let the help with gas money cloud my judgment) and she purchased the

new phone for the trip. I mentioned to her she may want to have her phone on

during the concert as I'm still under medical care and there is a rare chance I

could become ill. Her response was " Thanks for putting that in my head, I hadn't

thought that I might have to leave half way through! " " Now I'm going to have to

worry about you during the show! "

I stuck to my plan of telling her what she said was mean and hanging up. But how

to do you get suck horrible words off you. I can tell myself that she's sick,

she's not capable of love, but I don't think I can come to terms with the fact

that my mother would say something so awful to me, despite the situation.

Sorry this ran so long, I'm a little emotional right now. Thanks for listening.