Guest guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 Meg, Sorry to hear about your bleeding. Did you make a doc appointment ASAP? Can you call Monday am? If your boyfriend is 99% amazing most of the time. I would keep him! That is hard to find. Men often deal with things differently then we do. I know my boyfriend has felt helpless at times about VV. They want to help us, but do not know how, heck our own doctors can't even help us! Men often retreat when they are confused or uncomfortable. I am sure he felt horrible that you were bleeding. He probably did not know how to deal with it. He did text you back. The men we date also have to deal with this, it is hard on them too. Can you please him in other sexual ways besides intercourse? Have you discussed this with him? He must really love you. I figure my boyfriend really loves me or he would have been gone by now. Don't feel guilty. Life is full of challenges. People get cancer, heart attacks, break legs and some of us get VV. Strong couples can work through this. REMEMBER you said he is Amazing 99% of the time. I have been divorced for 14 years and believe me, a good one is hard to find. Hold onto him if you love him! BlueeberriPlanning your summer road trip? Check out AOL Travel Guides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 Hi, I am pretty upset right now. I am just so hurt and frustrated. Last night my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in about 2 years. It hurt like hell, so we stopped after only a few seconds. Then a little while later I got horrible abdominal cramps and started bleeding. It was enough that it soaked through my jeans. Unfortunately, none of this is new for me. Now my left side, where I image my ovaries are, hurts. I am an emotional wreck today. I feel like I am NEVER going to be normal again. I am frustrated at my boyfriend, who is normally 100% supportive. But last night after we had sex, but I hadn't noticed the bleeding yet, he went out with his friends, which he had planned out to do. Ok, I wasn't happy about that, but fine. Then I texted him when I saw the bleeding, and he txt me back. It would have been nice if he could have called me. I just talked to him for the first time today, and we just got in this huge fight. I told him how horrible I was feeling, etc and he just didn't seem to get it. I am really in a bad place today. I am so sick of feeling like I am less of a women because I can't be there for him sexually the way that he wants me to be. (Although he is usually perfect and doesn't make me feel bad about anything.) I feel like I am never going to be able to have sex without serious physical problems afterwards. I feel like maybe I should end our relationship (we've been together 2 years, and like I said, 99.9% of the time he is amazing.) because I am tired of feeling like I should be sexual with him, when it is the last thing on my mind, and then I end up feeling sore, bleeding, cramps, something, for the next week or so. Then I just get mad at him, which isn't right either. I am so freaking frustrated! Sorry, this was long, but I think I just needed to get it off my chest. I know that nobody understands the way you ladies do. Any words of encouragement would really help me today.Meg You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 OMG, Meg, are you ok? Have you stopped bleeding? Do you know what the cause of the bleeding was? Has it happened before? It sounds like you have a good guy and it was just a really bad situation. I'm a couples counselor and I want to delicately ask you...when you texted did you specifically ask him to call you? Did you call him? The reason I ask is because this might have less to do with v problems and more to do with typical couples issues of communcation. If you asked him to call and he didn't that's one thing, if you didn't ask him but you're upset because you expected him to " know " it's really understandable but not entirely fair. It's SO IMPORTANT that you communicate to him EXACTLY what you need. Also, do you have a decent pain management doc? If not, you might consider getting a referral to one so you can have as needed (aka PRN medications) so you don't have to spend the next week miserable but you can have some relief. However, this whole bleeding this has me wondering if there is something specific going on that might be treatable? All of that aside, just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass. my hubby and I have been together five and a half years and he has stood by me through the frustration of the v problems. I'm almost 100% better now, and who knows...you might get through this, to. Hopefully one day this will all be a bad memory. Lindsey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2008 Report Share Posted April 7, 2008 Hi Lindsey & Blueberri.Thanks so much for your kind words. I still have bleeding, but over-all I am feeling a little better. I have been dealing with these symptoms for a while now, and I have an ultrasounds, CAT scans, etc etc and everything is always normal. So I am trying to deal with it my own way at the moment. Lindsey, it caught my attention that you are a counselor!!! :)And the point that you brought up about the fact that I didn't specifically ask him to call me back is really kinda funny, cause that is exactly what my boyfriend said when we were arguing.... 'I can't read your mind!" So, great point, thanks! :)Also, I have been trying to get us to counseling for awhile now, and he is dead set against it. I am not 100% sure why. I know we both could use it individually and as a couple. Individually, we have both been through some very serious, difficult times and I know that it caused additional stress in our relationship. Actually I think this might be why my boyfriend wants nothing to do with it. He has experienced a very personal, tragic loss of a family member. Anyways, I am just wondering if you have any tips on how I could approach the subject. I am running out of ideas myself.Thanks so much!MegLindsey wrote: OMG, Meg, are you ok? Have you stopped bleeding? Do you know what the cause of the bleeding was? Has it happened before? It sounds like you have a good guy and it was just a really bad situation. I'm a couples counselor and I want to delicately ask you...when you texted did you specifically ask him to call you? Did you call him? The reason I ask is because this might have less to do with v problems and more to do with typical couples issues of communcation. If you asked him to call and he didn't that's one thing, if you didn't ask him but you're upset because you expected him to "know" it's really understandable but not entirely fair. It's SO IMPORTANT that you communicate to him EXACTLY what you need. Also, do you have a decent pain management doc? If not, you might consider getting a referral to one so you can have as needed (aka PRN medications) so you don't have to spend the next week miserable but you can have some relief. However, this whole bleeding this has me wondering if there is something specific going on that might be treatable? All of that aside, just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass. my hubby and I have been together five and a half years and he has stood by me through the frustration of the v problems. I'm almost 100% better now, and who knows...you might get through this, to. Hopefully one day this will all be a bad memory. Lindsey You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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