BP vs NPD relationships / abuse / rage

[Guest guest]

I agree with you Girlscout. Some BPs are very malignant. However, this has

little to do with BPD, but a co-existing diagnosis (NPD, anti-social PD,

psycopathy, or just very angry for another reason). BPs generally are not

purposefully malicious.

I have worked around a few true narcissistic personalities and they are truly

sadistic, especially narcissistic parents. They love to hurt people and they

know exactly what they are doing. They envy/hate childhood and femininity,

because they were never allowed to have it as a child. BPs are not like this,

they hurt people to avoid being hurt. Sometimes they intentionally hurt people,

but it is not for the shear pleasure of it or because they hate anyone. For the

BP, it is thought to be a preemptive strike to thwart an anticipated attack.

On the outside, both types of abuse can look very similar. To know the

difference, you have to pay attention to what is triggering the abusive

behavior. This is easier said than done. It is hard to know what is causing

the abuse in the midst it. However, in time, you might see a pattern.

BPs generally like to have fun and can, at times, see humor in their mistakes.

NPDs never find humor in their mistakes. It is funny to watch them after they

fart out loud, they get this look of totally humiliation on their face, then

stone cold denial; they will spew red hot rage at anyone who talks about it.

BPs are capable of farting out loud on purpose, for the fun of it, and laugh.

Sexual behavior can be a very telling factor. NPDs think that their bodies are

disgusting and think sex is repulsive. NPDs have sex to make babies or gain

power or to trap a mate, never for pleasure. BPs have sex for the fun of it; it

is often an addiction for the BP. BPs are usually very playful when they court

a mate. NPDs are incapable of being playful, they rely on insincere compliments

and flattery to start relationships, but they are very good at it. Patting a

NPD on the butt would not get you very good results. Look, but don't touch.

Of course, most BPs have some NPD traits and NPDs have BP traits. Which makes

things even more complex.

I would totally side with Girlscout if we are talking about a true NPD

personality or a BP with significant NPD traits. I would never consider LC with

a true NPD. BPs have little to offer in a relationship, but NPDs have

absolutely nothing to offer, except power. I have seen the rage of the NPD and

it is 10 times worse than the BP's. It looks like their head is going to

literally pop and the volume is unbelievable. It doesn't matter how strong your

identity is when it comes to dealing with NPD abuse and rage, you will feel like

your very life is in danger. Your heart will immediately pound so hard and fast

that it will feel like it will jump out of your chest. I have seen people run

in fear. Seriously, it is simply amazing. I found it very interesting to

experience it in a mental health environment, but I would never allow such a

person into my personal life. Never!

> > >

> > > Not saying I will; just thinking out loud. It would be hard. Would the

> > benefit be worth the struggle. I can say that my work with my step-mother

> > has been rewarding. I am glad for the chance to make peace with her.

> > However, my mother is a whole entirely different level of BP abuse and

> > dysfunction. Again, just thinking out loud.

> > >

> >

> > Yeah, I could see it that being able to be in contact but on your terms in

> > a way that keeps you safe but is real and honest would be very empowering

> > and healing. I'm glad this is working for you with your step-mother. I'd

> > think that a certain minimum level of mental health would have to be there

> > though for the BPDM

> >

> > Eliza

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